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Initech

(100,063 posts)
Wed Dec 20, 2017, 06:16 PM Dec 2017

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #3-27: 2017 Year In Review Edition (Season finale!)


Top 10 Conservative Idiots #3-27: 2017 Year In Review Edition (Season finale!)

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! I’m going to warn you ahead of time – this is going ot be a long edition. Might be our longest yet. This is it people – it’s our season finale! And man it seems like it’s been a long and arduous journey through this insane year hasn’t it? Well let’s power through this and get to Rise Against and we’ll see you in the next year, yeah? So this is our year end year in review edition, and it’s the first time we’ve ever done or will attempt to do one of these. Now I know new news is being made this week – I mean you’ve got the Palins doing Palin things, the tax scam vote (aka the Trillion Dollar Heist), and you have Trump spending the remaining days of this year on the golf course. But there is one thing I wanted to show in the final intro of the year. So… Ann Coulter needs to see a psychotherapist or something. Last week, she sent out this unbelievable tweet about what it means to be single in 2017. Can we show that?



Wow. Holy shit. Whew. Where do I even begin with this one? Can someone get Ann a puppy or something? I mean did anyone see that movie Inside Out where we saw all the emotions going through a young kid’s life? Thank you sir! Yeah there’s one guy in the audience going “WOOO!!!!”. It would be like that movie except 3 of the emotions died and Ann was just stuck with Anger and Sadness. Maybe Ann would just kick the puppy and starve it to death! I don’t know, I am just guessing! OK that’s enough of the intro. We have a lot of idiocy to get to, but first you know it’s the holidays and most of the good talk shows are on vacation. So we’re going to get you in the holiday spirit by showing you this awesome clip of the Foo Fighters on Saturday Night Live this week where they played a medley of Christmas music:



So this is our season finale. This is it – it has come to an end. Well, all good things must at some point am I right? Well before we go for this year – we’re going to recap the year that was. In the first slot is January and February (1) which saw the beginning of Trump and his attempts to repeal Obamacare which crashed and burned hard. In the second slot is March and April which saw the rise of White Supremacism, Trump’s cabinet picks, and the worst Super Bowl party ever. In the third slot is the months May and June (3). Yes summertime – when Trump stopped embarrassing America directly and started embarrassing America internationally! In the fourth slot is July and August (4) we saw the horrifying carnage and destruction of the white supremacist rally in Charlottesville and Trump escalating his feud with North Korea’s Kim Jong Un, and the rise and fall of Anthony Scaramucci.. In the fifth slot is September and October (5). Fall was the return of football and the return of one of Fox News’ favorite punching bags: the national anthem protests! Plus we had the horrifying Vegas tragedy and conspiracy theorists coming out of the woodwork. And finally in the number 6 slot, rounding out the year – November and December. In November we saw the rise of the #MeToo movement which saw white male gropers getting knocked on their ass, while December we saw the insane special election between Doug Jones and Roy Moore for Alabama Senate. Now that we got that out of the way – in the number 7 slot we’re going to do something fun. Huffington Post got a hold of the Daily Stormer’s (7) playbook and we are going to break down the juiciest bits of it. At number 8 is our weekly sermon of all things holy, Holy Shit, and we are going to recap the religious right at their most insane during the year end. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot is our favorite “People Are Dumb” and we’re going to recap some of our favorite stories of stupid people in the year that was 2017. And finally – this is it people! We are fucking done! The final stop of our World Tour 2017! And we are going to be sipping on some margaritas and relaxing on the warm beaches of Cancun as we visit Mexico! And we also have some music from one of my favorites – the one the only Rise Against! They have a great new album out called “Wolves” and they are simply unbelievable live. Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]January & February: Trump Begins
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January 2017. It’s the end of one era of prosperity and the beginning of… well… whatever the exact opposite of prosperity is. Donald Trump is officially inaugurated as the 45th president of the United States of America. At a time when there is such a deep division in the country that it would take a miracle or the exact opposite of that. So how did Trump ring in the new year that would see him become the next president?



That’s right – that is president Donald J. Trump hanging out with Joseph “Joey No Socks” Cinque of the Gambino crime family! Bravo, well done, Mr. President! Take a bow! But January also marked the beginnings of a mad man. Think of it like super heroes – this is Donald Trump’s origin story.

In a series of impromptu statements about nuclear weapons, Donald Trump is threatening to upend longstanding U.S. nonproliferation policy, even as his advisers contradict him and muddy his intentions.

The president-elect had alarmed and perplexed some experts and others in Washington when he pronounced, without offering more details, via Twitter on Thursday that the U.S. “must greatly strengthen and expand its nuclear capability until such time as the world comes to its senses regarding nukes.”

He further escalated his call on Friday, telling the MSNBC program “Morning Joe” that he is fine with the country taking part in an “arms race” if it puts the U.S. in a stronger position against foreign adversaries.

“Let it be an arms race … we will outmatch them at every pass and outlast them all,” Trump said in an off-air conversation on Friday.
http://www.politico.com/story/2016/12/trump-nuclear-arms-race-russia-232944




Then – it was revealed by the CIA (motto: Now with 50% more snooping!) that one of the most powerful people in the world – shirtless dressage champion Vladimir Putin – may have helped aide in Donald Trump’s election.

President-elect Donald Trump on Wednesday claimed he has "nothing to do with Russia" and argued that he is the victim of political attacks after reports that intelligence officials possessed briefing material with damaging accusations about ties to Moscow.

The FBI is not actively investigating the information, which was initially circulated among Trump opponents and has not been verified by intelligence agencies, two U.S. officials told NBC News. Those sources did not comment to NBC about the nature of the allegations.

On Twitter, Trump called the reports "unfair" and said, "Russia has never tried to use leverage over me." Trump claimed that he has "no deals, no loans, no nothing" with Russia, an assertion that is difficult to verify because he has not released his tax returns, unlike every president since Jimmy Carter.

He argued that political opponents "try to belittle" his electoral victory. Trump asked, "Are we living in Nazi Germany?"
http://www.cnbc.com/2017/01/11/trump-melts-down-on-twitter-are-we-living-in-nazi-germany.html




Wait wait wait wait wait… did Trump just make a Nazi Germany comparison? People have been comparing him to Hitler. Maybe this is a case of the pot calling the kettle black? But then things got weird – and in a year where a lot of weird shit happens, would this be the first instance? And the inauguration hadn’t even happened yet!

In the past year, Trump has gotten into public disputes with a beauty queen and the Muslim parents of a dead soldier. But on the eve of the Martin Luther King Jr. holiday, Trump went back and forth with a man whom John McCain once called “one of the most respected men in America.”

It's a widely held opinion. For a lifetime of civil rights work, Lewis was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 2011. Last year, the Navy announced it would name a ship after him, making Lewis one of just a few " to get that honor.
https://www.democraticunderground.com/10028490129




Oh come on, you know it’s bad when the most interesting man in the world does it! But this might be one of my favorite things to come from the Trump administration so far. Remember Betsy DeVos? Well, she had the most batshit insane argument when it comes to guns in schools because – wait for it – bears!

http://www.cnn.com/2017/01/17/politics/betsy-devos-grizzly-bears-donald-trump-guns/index.html

snip:
Betsy DeVos, President-elect Donald Trump's education secretary nominee, said it should be up to states whether guns are allowed in schools, citing grizzly bear protection as part of her answer.




That’s real! That happened! Because… bears! Well then the inauguration happened, and as you can imagine it was a complete shit show. I mean Trump couldn’t even book the actual Bruce Springsteen, or even a Bruce Springsteen cover band!

The B-Street Band, a popular Bruce Springsteen cover group that's performed nearly 200 gigs a year since 1980, convened in the dressing room Sunday night before a typical late-afternoon gig at Bensalem, PA's Parx Casino.

Will Forte, the group's 63-year-old keyboardist, manager, agent and publicist, among other roles, was telling the band about the "thousands of emails from both sides" he had received after news broke that the group would be playing the Garden State Presidential Inaugural Gala on January 19th as part of Donald Trump's inauguration. "We're standing out in the storm right here," he told the band. "We gotta get out of the storm."
http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/bruce-springsteen-cover-band-drops-out-of-donald-trump-party-w461203




So Trump couldn’t get the B Street Band, or the Z Street Band. You know who he got instead? A band called 3 Doors Down! You might remember them from that one hit they had when your kid was in middle school – “Superman”. Now let’s fast forward to February and one of my favorite memes to come from the Trump administration – the Bowling Green Massacre!

WASHINGTON – Top Trump adviser Kellyanne Conway on Sunday said ‘haters” are to blame for blowing up her comments about the “Bowling Green massacre” when she simply “misspoke.”

“It was a plot. Well, they’re masterminds. I had said that before, they’re masterminds. I should’ve just said plot, or I should’ve just called them terrorists,” Conway said on Fox News’ “Media Buzz.”

Conway said she made a mistake when she cited the “Bowling Green massacre” to defend Trump’s needs for an immigration travel ban on MSNBC on Thursday. There was never a massacre in Bowling Green, Ky.

“I misspoke one word,” continued Conway, who also called the dust-up “massacre nonsense.” She walked back the comment on Friday.
http://nypost.com/2017/02/05/conway-blames-haters-for-bowling-green-massacre-backlash/




I love that! And one other thing from Februrary that I want to touch on – Milo Yiannopolous! Remember when Bill Maher had the professional troll on and he went belly up? Let’s show that video!



Excuse me a minute…


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[font size="8"]March – April: Treason Season
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Ah, spring! Summer is not quite here, and everyone has that post-winter spring in their step. Except for Trump – he didn’t know how dangerous the job was when he took it! Well, while it was time for Trump to get the fuck out of America, here back home we were subjected to the conservatives’ annual rah rah conference known as the Conservative Political Action Conference!

Staffers at CPAC quickly scrambled to confiscate Russian flags with the word “TRUMP” written on the front that were being waved by attendees during President Donald Trump’s speech on Friday.

The trouble began when some attendees took out pro-Trump flags to wave during the president’s speech that also happened to have the same white-blue-and-red striped pattern as Russia’s official flag.

Reporter Peter Hamby notes that CPAC staffers quickly realized that its attendees were waving Russian flags, and moved to confiscate them.

In addition to the attendees waving Russian flags, journalist Sarah Posner reports at least one attendee was spotted wearing a “Make Russia Great Again” t-shirt.
http://www.rawstory.com/2017/02/cpac-scrambles-to-control-damage-after-attendees-wave-russian-flags-during-trump-speech/


Hey! Why can’t we distribute Russian flags at your events? They’re no more offensive than the Purple Heart band aids that you distributed when John Kerry was running for office!



But then in March things got weird for Paul Ryan when he remembered that time he got a raging hard on in college about how great it would be to take away benefits from poor people!

Speaking to National Review editor Rich Lowry at an event hosted by the conservative magazine, House Speaker Paul Ryan made the case for the American Health Care Act by presenting it as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to cut Medicaid spending.

“We’ve been dreaming of this since I’ve been around,” Ryan says, before interrupting himself to clarify exactly how big of an opportunity this is, “since you and I were drinking out of kegs.”
http://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2017/3/17/14960358/paul-ryan-medicaid-keg




I’ve been to some wild keggers back in my day, and you know what? I never thought to screw over my country! All I could think of was “Why isn’t my beer filled”? Speaking of which, waitress, why isn’t my beer filled? Ah, thank you! Oh and then one of my favorite stories to come out of the month of March is Ann Coulter. Remember her? Remember when she said Russia went crazy and murdered the entire 1980 Miracle On Ice team?

They say Putin is a "thug" and a "bully" who kills journalists. Liberals never used to mind Russian leaders killing journalists. Nor millions of scientists, writers, Christians, Jews, kulaks, Ukrainians and the entire 1980 Soviet Olympic hockey team.

Have you guys heard of the Evil Empire? Now Democrats are hypersensitive to a Russian leader's flaws?

Liberals were cool with the show trials, the alliance with Hitler, the gulags, the forced starvations, the shooting down of American planes and goose-stepping through Eastern Europe.

But that was when the Russian leader was Joseph Stalin or Nikita Khrushchev -- not the beast Putin!
http://www.anncoulter.com/columns/2017-03-15.html




Yeah so that happened. And by the way, I really don’t want to post shit from her site, but sometimes we have no choice! But then remember when Paul Ryan took the Long White House March? You know it was kind of like that movie Billy Lynn’s Long Half Time Walk, except the outcome was even more fucked up!

WASHINGTON — House Republican leaders, facing a revolt among conservatives and moderates in their ranks, pulled legislation to repeal the Affordable Care Act from consideration on the House floor Friday in a major defeat for President Trump on the first legislative showdown of his presidency.

“We’re going to be living with Obamacare for the foreseeable future,” the House speaker, Paul D. Ryan, conceded.

The failure of the Republicans’ three-month blitz to repeal President Barack Obama’s signature domestic achievement exposed deep divisions in the Republican Party that the election of a Republican president could not mask. It cast a long shadow over the ambitious agenda that Mr. Trump and Republican leaders had promised to enact once their party assumed power at both ends of Pennsylvania Avenue.
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/24/us/politics/health-care-affordable-care-act.html




So now we hit April. Yes those 3 months flew by really quickly didn’t they? Well here’s where treason is the reason for the season – Michael Flynn. You know he committed some possible light treason and now he’s behind bars for it! Ha ha ha ha ha!!!!

Retired Lt. Gen. Michael Flynn, who briefly served as national security adviser to President Donald Trump, is seeking immunity from prosecution in exchange for testifying on the president’s ties to Russia, the Wall Street Journal reported Thursday.

According to the report, Flynn made the offer to the FBI, the House intelligence committee and the Senate intelligence committee. All three entities are currently investigating whether Trump’s associates had contact with Russian officials during the 2016 presidential campaign. According to the Wall Street Journal, none of them have yet accepted Flynn’s offer.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/michael-flynn-testimony_us_58dd889fe4b0e6ac7093b323?5m79oc7olzxhl4n29&




Well not so much light treason as it is full on fucking insane treason! And the sad thing is they most likely won’t get punished. But there were two stories out of April that I want to touch on. The first was when Trump bombed a country and then forgot which country he just bombed!

Last Thursday, April 6, President Donald Trump launched nearly 60 missiles at Syria in response to the deadly chemical attacks that took place earlier in the week. Thursday's strike targeted a Syrian airbase, and Trump's decision to bomb the country was met with mixed reactions from Congress, especially considering that the president did not seek congressional approval before ordering the launch of the missiles.

In a new interview on Fox Business Network, President Trump recounted to Maria Bartiromo the moment he told Chinese president Xi Jinping about his decision to attack Syria. However, there was one major eyebrow-raising instance in the interview: Trump seemed to forget which country he had bombed.

"I was sitting at the table, we had finished dinner, and we're now having dessert," Trump recalls. "And we had the most beautiful piece of chocolate cake that you've ever seen.... And I was given the message from the generals that the ships are locked and loaded." He adds: "I said, 'We’ve just launched 59 missiles, heading to Iraq.'"
http://www.teenvogue.com/story/donald-trump-just-forgot-which-country-he-bombed-last-week




And then there was this story that broke about Trump’s love of fast food – particularly the McDonalds Big Mac and how he loves fast food places for their “cleanliness” but then – health inspectors found that Mar-A-Lago didn’t exactly meet health requirements:

Unsafe seafood. Insufficiently refrigerated meats. Rusty shelving. Cooks without hairnets.

Reports show Florida health inspectors cited President Trump's Mar-a-Lago resort with 15 violations in late January, days before the U.S. leader hosted Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe for a diplomatic visit.

Still, the state inspectors allowed the luxury resort's main restaurant and beach club grill to remain open as staff scrambled to make several immediate corrections.

Among the "high priority" problems described as "potentially hazardous" were faulty fridges with meats stored well above the required 41 degrees Fahrenheit. For example, in the restaurant's walk-in cooler, the duck and beef were measured at 50 degrees, while a ham was at 57 degrees.

Other issues included smoked salmon being served without undergoing "proper parasite destruction" and a hand washing sink for employees with water that was not hot enough.

Stephen Lawson, spokesman for the Florida Department of Business and Professional Regulation, said the violations were the result of a routine inspection and not prompted by any consumer complaints or food-borne illnesses.
http://www.latimes.com/nation/nationnow/la-na-trump-mar-a-lago-health-violations-20170413-story.html





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[font size="8"]May – June: Are We Sick Of Winning Yet?
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Summer time and the livin’s easy… eh maybe it isn’t in Donald Trump’s America. Because if this is what he considers to be MAGA, I don’t want to know what he considers to be losing! Because if you remember May is when the GOP actually did something. And that something is not exactly what one would call winning, but they had a cheap beer and even cheaper champagne celebration when they got Trump’s health care bill passed.

They had a party in Washington to celebrate that an $8 billion risk-pool fig leaf was enough to drain the guts out of Republican "moderates" in the House and get them on board. This was a thing to celebrate.

They had a party in Washington to celebrate that freedom was served because Medicaid took a serious shot below the waterline. This was a thing to celebrate.

They had a party in Washington to celebrate that one state—Mississippi? Kansas?—could bring freedom by restoring lifetime limits on employer-based healthcare coverage for 129 million Americans. This was a thing to celebrate.

They had a party in Washington to celebrate the fact that taking healthcare from poor people was enough to give the top two percent of Americans a trillion-dollar tax cut. This was a thing to celebrate.
http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/news/a54896/republican-healthcare-bill-pass/




You know America, we went through this “winning” phase before. It was 10 years ago, remember? Well maybe not since most of Charlie Sheen’s fans went to Coachella and did ecstasy. And just like the Charlie Sheen phase, that “winning” accomplished… absolutely nothing!

One of the Republicans who helped get the American Health Care Act narrowly passed through the House of Representatives yesterday is making it clear that he isn’t all that thrilled with the bill… nor the president celebrating in the Rose Garden over its passage through just one chamber of Congress.

Rep. Mark Sanford (R-SC), who earlier today admitted to not reading the bill in its entirety before voting for it, compared President Donald Trump‘s celebratory speech to a rather infamous premature declaration.

“It’s kind of like George Bush going up on top of the aircraft carrier and saying ‘Mission Accomplished,'” he told MSNBC’s Craig Melvin when asked why he didn’t attend the Rose Garden event. “I mean, you’ve got to be careful about these things. People get ahead of their skis and it can come back to bite them.”
http://www.mediaite.com/tv/gop-rep-compares-trumps-ahca-rose-garden-celebration-to-bushs-mission-accomplished-speech/




Yeah… remember that guy? He was our president at one point! And then remember when Trump fired Comey that set off the shit storm that got Mueller involved? Yeah that happened.

The American people — not to mention the credibility of the world’s oldest democracy — require a thorough, impartial investigation into the extent of Russia’s meddling with the 2016 presidential election on behalf of Donald Trump and, crucially, whether high-ranking members of Mr. Trump’s campaign colluded in that effort.

By firing the F.B.I. director, James Comey, late Tuesday afternoon, President Trump has cast grave doubt on the viability of any further investigation into what could be one of the biggest political scandals in the country’s history.

The explanation for this shocking move — that Mr. Comey’s bungling of the investigation into Hillary Clinton’s private email server violated longstanding Justice Department policy and profoundly damaged public trust in the agency — is impossible to take at face value. Certainly Mr. Comey deserves all the criticism heaped upon him for his repeated missteps in that case, but just as certainly, that’s not the reason Mr. Trump fired him.
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/09/opinion/donald-trumps-firing-of-james-comey.html?emc=edit_th_20170510&nl=todaysheadlines&nlid=57435284&_r=0




And then fast forward to June. Trump once again managed to piss off the entire world when he did something very egregious. Like the last time he pissed off the whole world and did something egregious. And the time before that. And that.

President Donald Trump is planning to pull the United States out of the Paris climate change agreement, a White House official said Wednesday morning — only to have Trump himself revive the suspense less than an hour later.

The withdrawal would fulfill a Trump campaign promise but would be certain to infuriate America’s allies across the globe. It would threaten to destabilize the most comprehensive pact ever negotiated to blunt the most devastating effects of climate change. And it would fly in the face of support the deal has drawn from a host of major business interests, including giant oil companies such as Shell and Exxon Mobil.

Intrigue surrounding Paris has accelerated in the past week, after Pope Francis and other world leaders pressed Trump during his European visit not to abandon the nearly 200-nation 2015 agreement. Administration officials said they are still sorting out the details of how exactly Trump would withdraw, and one noted that nothing is final until an announcement is made.
http://www.politico.com/story/2017/05/31/trump-paris-climate-change-agreement-238974




Yeah so that happened. Oh and then one other thing from June was remember when New York City’s Shakesphere In The Park had that controversial remake of Julius Caesar? Well… it was quite possibly one of the craziest things ever. And then it was revealed the crashers were part of a paid protest. D’oh!!!

You may have mocked claims about the existence of paid protesters as just another lie from the right. As it turns out, at least on this one issue, they’re actually telling the truth. The problem is, the right neglected to mention those paid protesters are part of the right-wing apparatus.

The story starts last week, when the right wing decided to aim its selective outrage at a free staging of Shakespeare’s play “Julius Caesar” held in New York City’s Central Park. Mike Cernovich, a self-described member of the alt-right who thinks the U.S. should give immigrants IQ tests, put up a YouTube video in which he offered cash to any protesters willing to disrupt the play for pay.

“I’ll give up to 10 people $1,000,” Cernovich says in the footage. “I need you to get up with either a ‘CNN is ISIS’ or ‘Bill Clinton’s a rapist’ or ‘The media is terrorism’ . And if you’re able to get up and be escorted out by security, then I will give you $1,000.”

In other words, Cernovich was actively and openly looking to recruit paid protesters. You know how conservatives made up that ridiculous myth about George Soros sending checks to liberals who march in protests? This is the real version of that, only sponsored by Cernovich.
http://www.salon.com/2017/06/22/there-are-real-paid-protesters-but-they-are-all-right-wingers_partner/





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[font size="8"]July – August: White Light, White Heat, White Supremacy
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Summer time… and the livin’s easy. Honestly… I got nothing. I mean come on we’re almost done for the holidays. We got one of my favorite bands, Rise Against coming. I mean their equipment is right there! I can see Tim and the guys hanging out back stage! All right, I am getting carried away. We got to power through this thing, damn it! We’re getting into the summer months now. So Trump went to Poland as part of his World Deplorable Tour. And the people of Poland, well, didn’t quite get American history.

Donald Trump didn’t exactly earn a unanimously warm welcome during his first trip to Europe as president in May. To ensure that his second visit starts off on a far more positive note this week, considerable measures are being taken, including those borrowed straight from the Communist Party playbook.

Ahead of making his way to Germany for the start of the G-20 summit Friday, Trump will land in Poland Wednesday and is guaranteed a rapturous reception: Supportive crowds literally will be bused in to cheer for him.
http://www.newsweek.com/trump-poland-crowds-bus-communist-632124


Can we show that picture of the crowd?



Yup – they celebrate the confederacy! And then there was Mike Pence who had that famous “Do Not Touch” photo:



Seriously – it’s like Peter Griffin is in charge!



Then we had that horrible terror attack in London that resulted in 10 people dead and Trump of course pretending to marginally care about the victims:

London (CNN)US President Donald Trump renewed his criticism of London Mayor Sadiq Khan on Monday, a day after attacking his handling of the weekend's terror attack in the city.
Trump, writing on Twitter Monday, said: "Pathetic excuse by London Mayor Sadiq Khan who had to think fast on his 'no reason to be alarmed' statement. MSM is working hard to sell it!"

It is the second day that Trump has twisted the mayor's words. In the immediate aftermath of the attack, Khan said there was "no cause for alarm" when referring to a visible increase in police activity on the streets of London.
http://www.cnn.com/2017/06/05/politics/trump-criticizes-london-mayor-sadiq-khan-again/index.html




Then we get into August. We think the chaos might have died down a bit. There was a lot that happened. Sinclair Broadcasting purchased 500 local TV stations in an insane media consiladtion deal, while a Google employee went full Pepe The Frog and Trump threatened nuclear Armageddon with North Korea (see: Top 10 #3-9 ). But then there was a little event being held in Charlottesville, Virginia that was being called the “Unite The Right” rally. Well, little did we know this event would shake the country to its’ core. It was billed quite innocently:




Worst headlining festival ever, by the way! Yeah I know we’re recycling a lot of the same jokes we used before – it’s the end of the year. Fuck it! Fuck it all, I say!!! Thank you! But here’s how it ended:

(CNN)Alt-right activists held torches and marched late Friday through the University of Virginia campus in Charlottesville.

Chanting "blood and soil" and "one people, one nation, end immigration," the group rallied around a statue of Thomas Jefferson before they clashed with counterprotesters, CNN affiliate WWBT reported.

The march came hours before a Saturday rally that police anticipate will attract as many as 2,000 to 6,000 people, in an event that could be the "largest hate-gathering of it's kind in decades in the United States," as described by the Southern Poverty Law Center.

Before the group left the university's grounds when police arrived and ruled it unlawful assembly, outraged city and UVA officials condemned Friday's gathering.

Read more: http://www.cnn.com/2017/08/12/us/charlottesville-white-nationalists-rally/index.html




Oh and they didn’t actually hold real torches. They used fucking TIKI torches that you can get in the $3.99 bin at your local Home Depot! That would be like if medieval torturers had played Iron Maiden in the torture chambers instead of using an actual Iron Maiden. Not the same thing! Not that I’m belittling Iron Maiden, those guys kick ass. And we had them on the show. Oh and there was also this:

CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. (AP) — A car plowed into a crowd of people peacefully protesting a white nationalist rally Saturday in a Virginia college town, killing one person, hurting at least two dozen more and ratcheting up tension in an increasingly violent confrontation.

A helicopter crash that killed the pilot and a passenger later in the afternoon outside Charlottesville also was linked to the rally by State Police, though officials did not elaborate on how the crash was connected.

Read more: https://www.bostonglobe.com/news/nation/2017/08/12/hundreds-torch-bearing-protesters-parade-through-university-virginia-campus-ahead-white-nationalist-rally-saturday/yJkb6qUEPN6u8VEkEGDV9L/story.html




Even Germany was pissed off at us for that. And if there’s one group of people you don’t want to piss off, it’s the Germans!

BERLIN: German Chancellor Angela Merkel on Monday slammed as "disgusting" the role of white supremacists in a violent protest in Virginia and an "evil attack" against counter-demonstrators that left one woman dead, her spokesman said.

In sharply worded remarks, Merkel's spokesman Steffen Seibert expressed shock at the weekend rally by Ku Klux Klan members and other white nationalists in Charlottesvillesupremacists.

"The scenes at the right-wing extremist march were absolutely repulsive - naked racism, anti-Semitism and hate in their most evil form were on display," he told reporters.

"Such images and chants are disgusting wherever they may be and they are diametrically opposed to the political goals of the chancellor and the entire German government."
http://www.dailystar.com.lb/News/World/2017/Aug-14/415981-merkel-condemns-disgusting-us-far-right-violence.ashx





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[font size="8"]September – October: Mass Anthem Protests & Mass Shootings
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So we’re in the home stretch of finishing out this year folks! And with that comes the return of our favorite national past time – football. Yes the Dodgers and Astros had that insane World Series (and the most uneventful game 7 ever), but football is back everybody! And with that – Fox News gets to hammer one of their favorite punching bags – the national anthem protests started by Colin Kaepernick. But this year they have the help of our favorite president!

HUNTSVILLE, Ala. — President Trump said on Friday night that N.F.L. owners should fire players who kneel during the national anthem, and he encouraged spectators to walk out of stadiums in protest.

In an extended riff during a speech in Alabama, Trump also bemoaned what he sees as less violence in football games.

“They’re ruining the game,” he complained.

Several athletes, including a handful of N.F.L. players, have refused to stand during “The Star-Spangled Banner” to protest of the treatment of minorities by the police. Quarterback Colin Kaepernick, who started the trend last year when he played for the San Francisco 49ers, has not been signed by a team for this season.

Trump says those players are disrespecting the flag and deserve to lose their jobs.
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/09/23/sports/trump-nfl-colin-kaepernick-.html




And of course the end of summer brings the extremely harsh weather with it, known as the hurricane.



Yup – we got into some major hurricane damage – the hurricanes already rocked the Caribbean and destroyed St. Maarten, and Puerto Rico and then they were headed for Houston. The damage they did to Houston was indescribable. But then there was prosperity pastor Joel Osteen who got the worst of it when this happened:

Joel Osteen, the “prosperity” preacher who has made a fortune grifting off the generosity of his devout flock, has endured a withering barrage of criticism from social media for his refusal to open the doors to his 16,000-capacity megachurch to help house the environmental refugees of Hurricane Harvey.

Actor Ron Perlman of Sons of Anarchy fame had a very snarky response to Osteen’s hypocrisy, rightfully calling him out for being more concerned with the cleanliness and propriety of his church than the Christian values of charity and support that he pretends to embody.

Perlman tweeted simply: “Concerned someone might track mud on the carpets?”

Joel Osteen is the very worst kind of human being and an absolute disgrace to all those who call themselves religious.

He is a financial predator of the worst kind, a pernicious agent of mammon who exploits the generosity and the faith of his flock to live a lifestyle of heretical luxury and sinful excess.

At: https://extremelifex.com/2017/08/29/joel-osteen-refuses-to-open-his-church-to-hurricane-victims-actor-ron-perelmans-response-is-great/




Hobbits are evil? Can we get a new meme? Seriously? Fuck it, it’s the end of the year. All I want to do is drink some beers and watch some Rise Against! Is that too much to ask? Moving on! So now we come to October and one of the most horrific terror attacks that has ever happened on American soil has occurred. And the biggest offender in the attacks was easily nutritional supplement salesman Alex Jones.

ALEX JONES: About 20 minutes ago, ISIS took responsibility for the attacks, and the police have confirmed that he had -- the reported shooter had recently personally threatened them and posted videos threatening them, saying that he had joined ISIS, joined Al Qaeda, and that he was basically a leftist, just like [alleged NSA leaker] Reality Winner, and just like so many others that had converted to Islam, that was so angry about Trump and everything that was happening that he went out and carried out this attack. Now, again, clearly it looks like he had help, but we saw the October 1st event of the 100 years of the Bolshevik Revolution coming up, and I had been predicting starting October 1st that we'd see terror attacks.
https://www.mediamatters.org/video/2017/10/02/alex-jones-promotes-hoax-claiming-police-said-las-vegas-gunman-was-leftist-who-was-angry-about-trump/218104




Which led to everyone and everything accusing everything but the guns. And the attachment in question – a bump stock. As someone who is not into guns, I had no idea what this did, so I had to do some research.

Senior Republicans in Congress are considering a bill that would ban “bump stocks” — gun accessories the Las Vegas shooter apparently used to turn semi-automatic weapons into more rapid-fire machine guns.

A handful of Republican congressional legislators have shown interest in a bill that would stop shooters from essentially converting semi-automatic weapons into fully automatic ones by using bump stocks. Stephen Paddock, the gunman who killed 58 people and wounded more than 500 others Sunday at a Las Vegas music festival, had two bump stocks in his possession, officials told the Associated Press.

“An American concert venue has now become a battlefield,” said California Sen. Dianne Feinstein, who introduced the bump stock bill Wednesday. “No one should be able to easily and cheaply modify legal weapons into what are essentially machine guns.”
http://time.com/4970720/bump-stocks-ban-how-work/




And the sad thing is we didn’t learn a god damn thing about guns from that horrible shooting. Because not even after that happened, this happened when Alt Right founder and guy who thinks the game Wolfenstein features too much Nazi killing, Richard Spencer, spoke at the University Of Florida, this happened:

Five arrests were made Thursday in connection with an event that self-described white supremacist Richard Spencer held at the University of Florida campus in Gainesville.

Three men were arrested for their alleged role in a shooting incident following Spencer's speech, according to the Gainesville Police Department. The three suspects "engaged in an argument with another group of people that turned violent with gunfire," police said in a press release today.

The three individuals -- Tyler Tenbrink, 28, William Fears, 30, and Colton Fears, 28 -- are all from Texas, according to police.

The police report for Tenbrink states that while in a car, the suspects pulled up to the victims and one of the three men shouted "Hail Hitler and other chants" before "an argument ensued." According to police, Tenbrink got out of the vehicle with a handgun and threatened to kill the victims, while the two other men encouraged him to shoot them. Polie said Tenbrink fired a single shot that "thankfully missed the group" and hit a nearby building.
http://abcnews.go.com/US/security-ramped-white-nationalist-richard-spencers-florida-event/story?id=50585570




No sorry Cartman there’s no race war. But the even more disturbing thing is how gun nuts responded on Black Friday – which is why I say we didn’t learn a god damn thing. Fuck Black Friday, we should start calling it “Red Friday”.

For decades, the term “Black Friday” has conjured up distinct images: turkey-stuffed consumers awake at insanely early hours of the morning, bursting into big-box stores to fight over flat-screen TVs.

But in a muzzle flash, it seems, a new image may be replacing that stereotype. It involves a trigger and, possibly, a scope.

On Friday, the FBI received 203,086 requests for instant gun background checks, according to USA Today — nearly a 10 percent increase from the year before and a new record for background checks in a single day.

That’s not an anomaly. According to the FBI, the previous two records for background checks were also set on the day after the federal holiday in which Americans give thanks for the year’s blessings.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-nation/wp/2017/11/26/guns-were-black-friday-must-haves-going-by-the-fbis-record-203086-background-check-requests/?tid=hybrid_experimentrandom_with_top_mostshared_3_na&utm_term=.88dff41d1388





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[font size="8"]November – December: Sexual Harassment In The Workplace
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Ah we’re finally almost done for the year in review. Just like we’re almost done for the year everybody! I mean come on we got Rise Against playing tonight! All I want is to have a couple of beers and see Rise Against, is that too much to ask? But we got to power through. Just power through. OK so we had our annual quota for mass shootings met with Vegas. But then while that was going on, we had the birth of the #MeToo movement going. And it was insane. It started with actress Rose McGowan being temporarily suspended from Twitter.

The Observer has gained access to a secret hitlist of almost 100 prominent individuals targeted by Harvey Weinstein in an extraordinary attempt to discover what they knew about sexual misconduct claims against him and whether they were intending to go public.

The previously undisclosed list contains a total of 91 actors, publicists, producers, financiers and others working in the film industry, all of whom Weinstein allegedly identified as part of a strategy to prevent accusers from going public with sexual misconduct claims against him.

The names, apparently drawn up by Weinstein himself, were distributed to a team hired by the film producer to suppress claims that he had sexually harassed or assaulted numerous women.
https://www.theguardian.com/film/2017/nov/18/harvey-weinstein-secret-hitlist-sex-scandal


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Holy shit! 91 accusers? That is fucking insane! And we’re just now learning the extent of the damage that this guy caused. You know when Trump said “drain the swamp”, he pulled the plug on the wrong drain! But that’s a good thing because a lot of those people needed to go. You had Kevin Spacey, Harvey Weinstein, Danny Masterson, Morgan Spurlock, Tavis Smiley, Matt Lauer, Charlie Rose, Russell Simmons, Jeffrey Tambor, the list goes on and on. But let’s go to Kevin Spacey for a moment because the allegations kept coming. It’s insane.

BuzzFeed’s Adam B. Vary, the reporter who broke the story of Anthony Rapp’s sexual harassment allegations against the actor, tweeted a statement from the company on Friday night. The decision follows rumors reported by Variety earlier in the day that the show was considering killing Spacey’s pivotal character, Frank Underwood.

Netflix also said that they would not be releasing “Gore,” a film produced by and starring Spacey. The actor has also been dropped by his talent agency and publicist.

A number of men have come forward with their own stories since Rapp’s initial accusation of sexual misconduct against Spacey, who was 26 at the time, when he was 14 years old.
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/netflix-kevin-spacey-harassment-allegations_us_59fd2373e4b0c9652fff7673?ncid=inblnkushpmg00000009




Apparently so Mr. President, and this got people wondering – why are we holding our fictional presidents to a higher standard than actual presidents?

The #MeToo sexual harassment movement roiling the nation reached the doors of the White House on Monday, when three women who last year accused President Trump of sexual misconduct began a renewed public push to gain attention for their allegations.

The three accusers were among more than a dozen who had initially come forward during the 2016 presidential campaign. The three reinvigorated their stories this week with an appearance on Megyn Kelly’s NBC show — their first joint interview — and a subsequent news conference in Manhattan, in which they also called on Congress to investigate their claims.

Their appeal occurs on the eve of a closely fought special U.S. Senate election in Alabama, where Roy Moore, the Republican nominee whom Trump has endorsed, is facing multiple accusations of sexual misconduct, and as four Senate Democrats have called on Trump to resign amid the allegations of harassment against him.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/three-women-reassert-allegations-of-sexual-harassment-against-president-trump/2017/12/11/9aa208a2-de96-11e7-bbd0-9dfb2e37492a_story.html




You said it, sir! And how about Mario Batali? The hits keep coming!

Mario Batali has come under fire for a printed apology over his "wrong" behavior, which included a link to a recipe and was issued soon after ABC announced it had fired him from The Chew after he was accused of sexual misconduct, for which he apologized in a previous statement.

The celebrity chef's newsletter that was sent to fans on Friday contained the following message:

"As many of you know, this week there has been some news coverage about some of my past behavior.

I have made many mistakes and I am so very sorry that I have disappointed my friends, my family, my fans and my team. My behavior was wrong and there are no excuses. I take full responsibility.

Sharing the joys of Italian food, tradition and hospitality with all of you, each week, is an honor and privilege. Without the support of all of you – my fans – I would never have a forum in which to expound on this. I will work every day to regain your respect and trust. – mb

ps. in case you're searching for a holiday-inspired breakfast, these Pizza Dough Cinnamon Rolls are a fan favorite."
http://www.eonline.com/news/900588/mario-batali-includes-cinnamon-roll-recipe-in-sexual-misconduct-apology




This surprises me – not because Mr. Batali is a creep, but that people actually watch “The Chew”. But seriously, dude, you can’t PS that shit! That would be like Trump apologizing for Russian collusion and going “I’m sorry to the American people, I let you down. I will resign immediately. PS – buy season one of the Apprentice on Blu Ray! Out today!”. Yeah doesn’t have the same ring to it! Which brings me to Roy Moore. Yeah you knew it was coming. Yeah he was the perverted creepy weirdo who ran for senate and got trounced. The guy banned from a mall!

Roy Moore, the Republican Senate candidate and former chief justice of the Alabama Supreme Court, was born in Gadsden, a small city flanked by Interstate 59 and the Coosa River, an hour northeast of Birmingham. Gadsden is hilly, woodsy, blue-collar, and religious. “LEGAL OR NOT, SIN IS SIN,” a sign in front of a church announced yesterday. I saw it as I drove around, crisscrossing George Wallace Drive. I also saw Trump posters, Confederate flags, and dozens of signs for Doug Jones, the Democrat tied with Moore in recent Senate-race polls. Gadsden is the seat of Etowah County, which is a conservative place; Donald Trump received three times as many votes in the county as Hillary Clinton did. (Statewide, he received twice as many.) But I didn’t, in all my driving, see a single yard sign for Moore, the home-town son. Even the parking lot of the one mall in town had more bumper stickers for Luther Strange (four), Moore’s opponent in the Republican primary, than for Moore himself (one).
https://www.newyorker.com/news/news-desk/locals-were-troubled-by-roy-moores-interactions-with-teen-girls-at-the-gadsden-mall




And then he also got banned from high school football games because he was oogling the cheerleaders, and the cops knew what a creep he is!

On Tuesday, a recently resurfaced interview revealed Moore first noticed his wife Kayla Kisor when she was 15 or 16 years old. (He was 30 at the time.) Meanwhile, MSNBC’s Andrea Mitchell interviewed Faye Gary, a 37-year veteran of the Gadsden Police Department, who claimed she and her colleagues were advised to keep Moore away from the cheerleaders at high school football games:

“The rumor mill was that he liked young girls. We were advised that he was being suspended from the mall because he would hang around the young girls that worked in the stores. It really had gotten to a place where they said he was harassing him. And we were also told to watch him at the ball games and make sure that he didn’t hang around the cheerleaders. Where the cheerleaders would be.”
http://uproxx.com/news/roy-moore-kept-away-from-cheerleaders/




Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Ew. Ew. Ew. Excuse me a minute. OK I feel better. But the good news is that he lost!

The GOP, and the nation, narrowly dodged a bullet last night after accused pedophile Roy Moore lost to senator-elect Doug Jones in Alabama. Thankfully, Moore will not have a national platform from which to heave his unconstitutional, bigoted refuse.

But a Republican loss in Alabama, of all places, following the party’s miserable performance in Virginia last month, should send a clear warning to party leadership: continue to appease President Donald Trump’s populist, nationalist movement at your peril.
https://www.nbcnews.com/think/opinion/roy-moore-lost-his-election-alabama-gop-losing-it-s-ncna829316




Yeah that is a well deserved applause! But I think in January we need to take a long, hard look at our infrastructure, because with incidents like these, who needs terrorism?

Nearly 11 hours after a power outage paralyzed the world's busiest airport, Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson International got its electricity back late Sunday night.
The lights flickered on shortly before midnight, after an exhausting day for travelers, that had left thousands stranded in dark terminals and on planes sitting on the tarmac. A ground stop in Atlanta disrupted air travel across the United States and led to cancellations of more than 1,000 flights in and out of the airport.
http://www.cnn.com/2017/12/17/us/atlanta-airport-power-outage/index.html


And:

(Reuters) - An Amtrak passenger train derailed on a bridge over a major highway in Washington state on Monday morning, sending part of the train crashing down onto Interstate 5 and killing several passengers, authorities said.
https://www.reuters.com/article/us-washington-train/amtrak-train-derails-on-highway-bridge-in-washington-state-several-killed-idUSKBN1EC239


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Holy shit, indeed! Damn! That’s our 2017 year in review everybody!


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[font size="8"]The Daily Stormer
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So I promised we were going to do something fun for the 7th entry. We got just 3 more to go before we’re done for the year. So the Daily Stormer – you know, your racist uncle has them bookmarked in his Firefox bookmarks as “Real News”. Last week, the Huffington Post got a hold of their 17 page “playbook” of rules for their members to follow. And it’s quite literally insane.

Back in September, Vox Day, a Gamergate holdover who has assumed the position of racist alt-right figurehead, published a handful of brief excerpts from what he described as the “Andrew Anglin” style guide. For the blissfully unaware, Anglin is a neo-Nazi troll and propagandist who runs The Daily Stormer, one of the more prominent sites of the white supremacist web. The passages selected by Vox Day in his blog post suggested that Anglin is persnickety about detail and presentation ― except on the subject of the Jews, who are to be blamed “for everything.”
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/daily-stormer-nazi-style-guide_us_5a2ece19e4b0ce3b344492f2




Whew. Yeah if that’s how they start out, how do they finish? So in the interest of time, we’ve got a few minutes – we wont cover all 17 pages but we will give you a brief run down of the juiciest bits. So of course white supremacists speak in code – and their code is even more fucked up than you would imagine:

okay basically, it works like this, you can write articles, if we dont like them you can put them on your own blog or whatever, if we accept them for publication we will pay you $14.88

“Fourteen,” of course, alludes to the 14 words in the old David Lane slogan, “We must secure the existence of our people and a future for white children.” The double eights refer to the eighth letter of the alphabet (“HH” or “Heil Hitler”). The number 1488 is a common shibboleth among white supremacists. We’re sure they find this extremely clever.




Oh come on you know it’s fucked up when even Hitler disapproves! But it gets weirder. So much weirder! Would you be surprised at all to learn that they’re also grammar Nazis? I mean the word Nazi is right in the name!




Of course Nazis are sticklers about presentation! That’s why they’re Nazis! And why would the site that accuses others of fake news be worried that they’re going to be accused of fake news? I would say the pot would be calling the kettle black, but in this case the pot would probably be calling the kettle white!



And they’re even encouraging their reporters to go after social media accounts! Yes they allow racial slurs in their articles because that’s what racists do!





Where’s Trumpy at? We need Trumpy out here for the finale! Yay, Trumpy is back everybody! How about a round of applause?



So now you have the Daily Stormer as grammar Nazis and referencing Mein Kampf. I can guarantee we don’t make our researchers do that! By the way researchers, go do that! And would you be surprised at all to learn that they have a prime directive?



But of course they do it strictly for the LULZ!!!



Because you know – happy and funny white supremacists are the best white supremacists! You know all those scenes we saw of Hitler laughing and drinking right? And they’re out for positivity! Because racism is overly negative in tone, so what about the positive, friendly neighborhood racist?





See? Even Trump agrees with me. But I’ll conclude this shindig by just leaving this here.



Hey! That’s what we do here!


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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Yes friends! Gather around friends! Pass the collection plate, friends! Yes, in this darkest of times, we turn to the holiest among us, but even then we are reminded that the holiest among us are full of:



Welcome! Everybody please be seated. How is my fine congregation on this beautiful Wednesday in the holy year of our lord 2017? Because all God, creator of all that is good and holy wants us to do is to sing his name in praise and praise his son, the good lord Baby Jesus, creator of all that is good and holy… hey wait a minute, how can a baby do that? He’s just a baby! Which is why we are out to find out why the most devoted are the most fucked up. Normally we have a theme for our sermons, but considering this is the end of the year, we’re just going to go through some headlines you might have missed. Did you know Trump has cures for cancer and alzheimers? We didn’t!

Self-proclaimed “firefighter prophet” and right-wing conspiracy theorist Mark Taylor appeared on “The Edge” television program on Saturday night, where he said that during his second term in office, President Trump will release the long-secret cures for cancer and Alzheimer’s disease.

Taylor told host Daniel Ott that Trump’s priority during his first term is cleaning out the corruption in the pharmaceutical industry, which already has such cures but has been keeping them secret because “big pharma doesn’t want you well, they want you sick because that is how they make their money.”

Once Trump eliminates the corruption, Taylor said, we’ll “be fixing to see cures for medical conditions begin to come forth … We’ve had cures for this stuff, Daniel, for years, for decades; for cancer, we’ve got cures out there for Alzheimer’s, all kinds of diseases out there, the cures are there.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/mark-taylor-trump-will-release-the-cures-for-cancer-and-alzheimers-in-his-second-term/




Yes, Mr. President – it sounds good but it doesn’t work. I mean does someone want to get Brother Mark a copy of the constitution? I think he needs to do some reading! But apparently Trump isn’t just the cure for everything, brother Alex also has a cure!

Nutritional supplement salesman Alex Jones, the conspiracy theory architect behind Infowars, begged viewers for their prayers to help Infowars defeat the globalist forces he believes are trying to destroy America.

During the Infowars broadcast today, Jones addressed critics who believe he uses his platform irresponsibly to spread conspiracy theories such as the claim that the Sandy Hook massacre was a hoax. He claimed that he is not irresponsible because he’s using his network to fight the globalists.

“I know I am expendable. I know I’m just human. I know I’m weak. But, I’m not a parasite. I’m not a devil worshiper. I’m not a child molester. And man, these people are bad news. And I want God to know because I have spiritual awareness. I can feel God’s presence and when things are happy and good, I feel God’s happy. Let me tell you something. When I start looking at these people I can just feel God’s wrath boiling,” Jones said. “I just want to defeat them, and that’s why I’m God-fearing and I don’t fear them.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/alex-jones-needs-your-prayers-to-help-defeat-the-globalists/




By the way how great is our Top 10 Gospel Choir? Give it up for them everybody! Because there’s nothing more the Good Lord wants than to gather and sing his holy name, amen! Hey everyone, can I get an amen???? But Christianity attracts even the super paranoid – especially with Brother Alex, but even Brother Lance gives an insane opinion on Nazis!

Right-wing preacher Lance Wallnau streamed a video on Periscope last night in which he called on conservative Christians to mobilize for the 2018 elections in order to “literally remove every leftist from a position of government influence” because “you can no longer be in neutral when the Nazis are on the march.”

“We are going to lose America if we don’t actually mobilize,” Wallnau warned. “We’ve got the people and we’ve got the momentum. I’ll tell you where it starts—I hate to say it, but you have to literally remove every leftist from a position of government influence where they open the door to advance their lawless utopia … We’re going to have to smash that. You start with the political. You have got to take those political offices. You have to because you have to dismantle the apparatus of where power can come in through the top, to the courts and legislation.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/lance-wallnau-christians-must-remove-every-leftist-from-office-because-the-nazis-are-on-the-march/




You know it’s bad when even Hitler denounces you! Because LYING IS A SIN!!!! AND SINS MUST BE CLEANSED BY JESUS CHRIST, CREATOR OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY! CAN I GET AN AMEN!!! Let us sing now!!! But as you know Brother Moore suffered a crippling defeat in Alabama at the hands of a do-gooder! But what did his loss get blamed on? Porno! Porno! Porno!

On his radio program yesterday, extremist anti-LGBTQ pastor Kevin Swanson reacted to Roy Moore’s loss in the Senate election in Alabama earlier this week by blaming it on the state’s love of pornography, which he also warned is turning children gay.

Swanson, who interviewed Moore on his program earlier this year, told his audience that Alabama was among the states where people spent the most time on the website Pornhub in 2016, which lead him to conclude that it was no coincidence that Moore lost because “that state probably has significant sexual problems, especially since Doug Jones is so in favor of sexual perversion, transgenderism and homosexuality. Evidently, the state of Alabama must have a problem with sexuality. It’s obvious.”

“Unless there is a spiritual awakening,” Swanson added, “I think these conservative states are going to become liberal in their moral values within another five, 10, or 20 years. If the fathers are doing pornography, the kids are going to turn into homosexuals. The fathers will hide their sin and the children will come out of the closet with it. By the way, the top porn search word in Alabama and Mississippi is ‘lesbian.’ So another indication that the father’s generation is dabbling in porn, the children’s generation will go head over heels for some of the most egregious sexual crimes that men ever engage in.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/kevin-swanson-blames-roy-moores-loss-on-alabamas-love-of-pornography/




I’m going to leave Brother Kevin with that image there. You can’t unsee that! I’m sure Brother Kevin has spent countless hours jerking the gerkin and spanking the monkey to some of the most hardcore pornography imaginable! But we must ask – why are our brothers and sisters lying to us? Because as we all know lying is a sin! And sins must be cleansed!

On the third day of his appearance on Jim Bakker’s television program this week, supposed modern-day prophet Sundar Selvaraj claimed that he was told by Jesus Christ that Pope Francis is the False Prophet who will lead the world into the worship of the Antichrist, as foretold in the Book of Revelation.

Selvaraj recounted how, a few years ago, “the Lord Jesus appeared to me about the False Prophet who is mentioned in Revelation, chapter 13 and then very simply and very clearly he said, ‘The present Pope Francis is the prophesied False Prophet.’ And then he went on explaining to me the many things the false prophet will do, and then later on, I did some research and I found that whatever the Lord Jesus told me what what exactly Pope Francis has already begun to do.”

Selvaraj said that on the day that Pope Francis met with Palestinian Authority president Mahmoud Abbas and Israeli president Shimon Peres in 2014, “a meteor flew very close by earth and NASA nicknamed the meteor ‘The Beast.’ So that confirmed what the Lord revealed, that the False Prophet—the beast that is mentioned in Revelation 13—is the Pope.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/sundar-selvaraj-a-meteor-confirmed-that-pope-francis-is-the-false-prophet-of-the-book-of-revelation/




But finally this is our last sermon for this year. But as the Congregation Of The Top 10 will convene next year, so will Holy Shit! Because they are not going away any time soon! So I’ll just leave this here.

“This may seem an odd comparison, but I think it’s a real one, that we’re moving, Tony, toward automated cars, for example. And in the regulatory world, there’s the debate over how they’re going to regulate these automated vehicles. But you can imagine the control over our lives the government would have if they could remotely control our vehicles, which they may in fact someday be able to do and I think we have to think about that,” Jeffrey said.

“It doesn’t get discussed a lot but it’s going to happen,” Jeffrey said. “Down the road at some point automobiles are going to be automated and someone is going to be in control of the infrastructure that directs how those automobiles move.”

Jeffrey then painted a scenario where the government takes control of self-driving cars to prevent anti-choice activists from being able to transport themselves to protests.

“Imagine that the government is doing something outrageous like legalizing the killing of unborn babies and a lot of people want to go down to the Washington Mall one day a year and make it known they’re sticking up to the right for life, but the only way they can get through to that Mall is by getting on a transportation system that’s controlled by the government,” Jeffrey said.
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/cns-editor-warns-that-government-could-manipulate-self-driving-cars-to-prevent-anti-abortion-protests/




Yay, I hope that is the take away you get for this year! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! Or pieces depending on whether or not your church supports open or concealed carry. That’s it this year for:




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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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You know what time it is? It’s time for this!



Of course you know by now people are people and people are dumb. But unlike most times where we recap stupid people during the week, this time we’re going to recap our favorite stories of stupid people from the entire year! So many ways we could go with this! Well one of my favorite stories of stupid people had to be the flat earther who attempted to launch a rocket into low orbit to prove the earth is flat.

It appears we will need to wait a while longer to find out whether more than two millennia of thinkers and explorers — from Aristotle and Ferdinand Magellan, to Neil deGrasse Tyson and John Glenn — have been wrong about the shape of the Earth.

"Mad" Mike Hughes, limousine driver and self-proclaimed flat-Earther, announced that he had to delay his plan to launch himself 1,800 feet high in a rocket of his own making. The launch, which he has billed as a crucial first step toward ultimately photographing our disc-world from space, had been scheduled for Saturday — before the Bureau of Land Management got wind of the plan and barred him from using public land in Amboy, Calif.

Also, the rocket launcher he had built out of a used motor home "broke down in the driveway" on Wednesday, according to Hughes. He said in a YouTube announcement that they'd eventually gotten the launcher fixed — but the small matter of federal permission proved a more serious stumbling block (for now).
https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/11/26/566583007/flat-earther-postpones-launch-in-his-homemade-rocket-saying-it-s-not-easy




I can pretty much imagine that’s how that whole thing is going to pan out. And that’s what you get for using a rocket made by Acme corporation! Then I love this story – and it’s from my neck of the woods – and I was in the area on that very night!

A rowdy pair of Uber riders reportedly damaged their driver’s car during a late-night In-N-Out run in Hollywood on Saturday night. And as CBS Los Angeles shows, much of it was caught on camera.

The incident happened well into the evening on August 19, when two women requested a ride from Uber. Driver Travis Cole answered the request and picked up the two women outside of a Hollywood bar. The pair seemed intoxicated, Cole tells CBS, and things pretty quickly fell apart. At least one of the women allegedly threw up in the backseat, prompting Cole to force the whole car out at the In-N-Out in Hollywood along Sunset Boulevard.

From there, the duo got into a number of different altercations with bystanders and onlookers, and even took to Cole’s car, smashing his windshield with the heel of a shoe and causing plenty of other damage — in addition to that backseat vomit. Police arrived on the scene, arresting the women and posting bail of $20,000 apiece.
https://la.eater.com/2017/8/22/16184784/uber-hollywood-in-n-out-crime-video




At least D-FENS didn’t show up! And here’s another one of my favorite stories of the year and of course it involves Florida. And it involves hurricanes. And it involves stupid people with guns. You have the dumb news trifecta!

A Florida sheriff is warning citizens not to shoot guns at Hurricane Irma as the monster storm approaches Florida.

“To clarify, DO NOT shoot weapons @ #Irma,” the Pasco County, Fla. sheriff tweeted. “You won't make it turn around & it will have very dangerous side effects.”

The sheriff was responding to a viral Facebook event that jokingly encouraged people to shoot guns at the hurricane. More than 26,000 people have marked themselves as “attending” the event.
The Coalition to Stop Gun Violence also issued a warning to followers to not shoot guns at the storm.

One of the creators of the event, Ryon Edwards, told Yahoo News that he created the event out of “stress and boredom.”

"I never envisioned this event becoming some kind of crazy idea larger than myself. It has become something a little out of my control,” Edwards said.
http://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news/349968-florida-sheriff-warns-citizens-dont-shoot-at-hurricane-irma




Seriously – Yosemite Sam aint got nothing on American gun nuts! Yee haw!!!! Oh and here’s another one – if you work in an ER, you’re pretty much on your feet 16 hours a day. But really – don’t have a penis measuring contest!

Five Denver Health Medical Center nurses were disciplined for admiring a patient's genitals after he'd gone on to meet his maker.

According to KMGH, the health workers had helped themselves to a peek at the deceased man's penis, at one point going so far as to open a body bag to view his departed parts.

"Multiple staff members viewed the victim while he was incapacitated, including after he was deceased," a Denver Police Department report states. "The complainant, Risk Management for Denver Health, made a mandatory report."
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/nurses-suspended-checking-size-corpse-genitals-article-1.3474233




And then one of my favorite dumb stories this year involves my local football team – the Los Angeles Chargers and a clearly insanely disgruntled fan from San Diego, but the real fail came from Chargers owner Dean Spanos who clearly doesn’t understand how crowd sizes work – much like our president!

Dean Spanos is having a bad few weeks. Awful crowds at the Los Angeles Chargers games at StubHub Center and an 0-3 record have been made worse by a billboard and banners flying over the stadium disparaging him. Well, now the Federal Aviation Administration has reportedly piled onto Spanos’ misery.

FOX 5 in San Diego is reporting Spanos tried to stop the banners being flown above StubHub Center on game days by requesting a temporary flight restriction (TFR). The FAA rejected the request and the reason is delicious. You see, TFRs are only granted for stadiums and arenas that hold 30,000 or more. Spanos’ soccer stadium home only holds 27,000, so the FAA shut down his request.
http://thebiglead.com/2017/09/29/faa-denies-spanos-request-to-block-disparaging-plane-banners/




And then there was this story out of Florida where a Florida man who rescued a squirrel and kept it as a pet was possibly getting kicked out of his apartment. Can you say SQUIRREL?

Ryan Boylan and Brutis are inseparable pals.

Boylan tells Clearwater’s WFLA News Channel 8, “I can’t imagine not being around her.”

As for Brutis, she always has a shoulder to lean on.

Problem is, Brutis is a squirrel, and property managers at Boylan’s Clearwater Beach condo, who discovered his furry friend in April, say Brutis has got to go or Boylan will be evicted.
http://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article184097341.html




What? There’s a squirrel? SQUIRREL!!!!! And finally to round out the year in stupid people, we got to revisit the Borat impersonating tourists who were arrested in Kazakhstan . Yeah really don’t do that, I hear that they hate that movie there. Very nice!!!

(PRAGUE) — Six Czech tourists who dressed up in skimpy swimsuits made famous by Sacha Baron Cohen’s “Borat” have reportedly been detained by authorities in Kazakhstan’s capital Astana.

Sporting lime green “mankinis” and black wigs, the men had hoped to take a picture in front of the “I Love Astana” sign.

But local police took action, detaining them on Friday and fining them 22,500 tenge ($68) each for committing minor hooliganism, according to the Kazakh news website informburo.kz.
http://time.com/5026484/tourists-detained-borat-kazakhstan/




That’s it this year for:




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[font size="8"]World Tour Destination #27: Mexico
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Part of our mission statement here at the Top 10 Conservative Idiots is to show you that conservative idiocy isn’t just a problem with America. No, it’s a global problem that is stemming far and wide, and it’s not just America where conservative idiots ruin everything they touch. And if you’re thinking of moving out of the United States just because Donald J. Trump is our current president and our nation is turning to shit, you should know what it is you’re getting into should you decide that you want to leave the country. So if you want a recap of where we’ve been so far, in the last few weeks we’ve discovered that the UAE is the original home of corporate greed, Canada is Canada, and Cuba is the center of an attempted murder mystery plot. Here’s the tour schedule:



[font size="6"]Mexico[/font]
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This is it people! This is the grand finale! We are hanging out in the beautiful city of Cancun, and we are done with the first leg of our first ever Top 10 Conservative Idiots world tour! Let’s kick back and have a margarita, and let’s do this thing! So welcome to Mexico! it’s that country that’s south of the border, don’t you know? Mexico has a very long and very crazy history that we can’t really get into. Mexico is the home of the ancient civilizations the Incas and the Mayas. Which you can see in famous temples and ruins like Chichen Itza, and Teotihuacán. It’s northern neighbors are the states of California, Arizona, Texas, and New Mexico. Mexico is home to such major cities as Tijuana, Mexico D.F. (Districto Federal), Guadalajara, and of course everyone’s favorite spring break destinations like Cancun, Cabo San Lucas, and Puerto Vallarta. And by the way if you go to Mexico and think all Mexican food is burritos, tacos, and chimichangas, think again! Real Mexican food is things like Mole sauce and pretty much anything with poblano chiles. Mexico is also the home to the mariachi and caliente music. I love me a good mariachi band, and we’ve got one right here! Oh if you think I’m doing an entry on Mexico without a live mariachi band present, you don’t know this show! Say hola to the crowd, guys! That’s Mariachi Corazon De Camino, from Gardena, California! So what else is Mexico the home of? Well, it will be the new home of Ford for starters!

Ford Motor Co. is changing gears again in Mexico, shifting planned production of a small electric-powered sport utility vehicle to a plant south of the border instead of a Michigan factory.

Sending the electric vehicle to Mexico, where labor costs are lower, will help the business case for the costly model. It also risks raising the ire of President Donald Trump, who had been sharply critical of an earlier plan by Ford to build a small car factory in Mexico that the company ultimately canceled.

“They have to do what’s best financially and this electric vehicle is not going to be huge” in terms of sales volume, said Michelle Krebs, an analyst with car-shopping website Autotrader. “It’s not like they’re not putting money into the U.S.”

Moving production of the as-yet-unnamed electric SUV to Mexico will allow the carmaker to boost planned output of self-driving vehicles at its factory in Flat Rock, Michigan. The Wall Street Journal reported the automaker’s change of plans earlier.
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2017-12-07/ford-moving-production-of-electric-suv-from-michigan-to-mexico




I can just picture Trump right now going “BUY AMERICAN!!!!”. And with cars comes that sweet sweet crude! Exxon may be moving some operations to Mexico. I mean is this how we MAGA, Mr. Trump?

Exxon Mobil Corp. is joining Chevron Corp. and other U.S. refiners to supply the newly free Mexican fuel market.

Exxon sent two cargoes totaling 120,000 barrel of diesel and gasoline Wednesday from its refinery in Beaumont, Texas, to a private terminal in San Luis Potosi. The company is moving cargoes along Kansas City Southern Railway Co.’s network and plans to utilize the San Jose Iturbide terminal in Guanajuato state, which is being expanded, to bring in more supplies. Eventually, it aims to move product from all of its refineries along the Gulf Coast.

“Exxon Mobil is the first company to compete in the Mexican fuel market in an integrated form,” Carlos Rivas, general director of fuel for the company in Mexico, said Wednesday in a phone interview.
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2017-12-06/exxon-jumping-in-to-mexico-s-fuel-market-with-first-u-s-cargo




No sorry, we got no time. We’re almost to the end of the world tour! I just want some tacos and a margarita to celebrate, OK? You know we had those massive fires in California, and there were even a few in Mexico that have spawned up! But this is too fucked up!

A large plume of smoke in the skyline south of San Diego is tied to a wildfire in Mexico, Cal Fire officials confirmed.

Smoke was first spotted by San Diego residents around 11:30 a.m. Wednesday morning, causing concern.

Thick white smoke could be seen by neighbors in the southeastern part of San Diego County.

There is no active wildfire working in San Diego County at this time.
https://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/local/Fire-in-Mexico-Creates-Cloud-of-Smoke-Visible-From-South-Bay-462352253.html




Yeah fire! Fire! Heh heh heh! Although you know what will really blow Trump’s mind? Mexico is more progressive than the United States! Yes – our friends south of the border are winning more than Trump is! Ha!!!

MEXICO CITY —

Former Mexico finance minister Jose Antonio Meade, who resigned to seek the presidential nomination of the ruling party, is lagging far behind in public support ahead of next year's election, according to a newspaper poll published Wednesday.

Meade, who is widely expected to receive the nomination of the centrist Institutional Revolutionary Party (PRI), came in third in two scenarios polled by Mexican newspaper El Universal, while leftist Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador maintained a strong lead in both instances.

The survey found that 31 percent of respondents would vote for Lopez Obrador, who leads the National Regeneration Movement (MORENA) party, followed by the conservative National Action Party's (PAN) Ricardo Anaya, leading a coalition of parties, with 23 percent. Meade came in third with 16 percent.
https://www.voanews.com/a/poll-mexico-ruling-party-presidential-hopeful-trails-leftist/4152144.html




Really, sir, is this how we are winning? Really? And you know how Mexico is winning? It’s starting to track tourists who get black out drunk! Hey if you go to Mexico – DO NOT DRINK THE BAD ALCOHOL!!!

Officials with the U.S. Department of State are now tracking reports of blackouts and injuries related to potentially tainted alcohol in Mexico and said Friday they have already received a dozen complaints.

The agency has come under fire from lawmakers on both sides of the aisle in recent months for “underplaying” the risks to tourists traveling to Mexico and for not doing enough when U.S. citizens are injured or die while vacationing there. One U.S. senator called the department’s response to tourist troubles in Mexico “disingenuous.”

The announcement comes three days after the U.S. Office of Inspector General launched an inquiry into the agency’s policies and procedures for handling those cases.
https://www.jsonline.com/story/news/mexico-blackouts/2017/12/15/state-department-says-has-begun-tracking-mexico-alcohol-related-blackout-incidents/957066001/




First up give it up for our mariachi band! How great is that? So don’t drink the bad alcohol. But Mexico is also doing better than we are at our own War On Drugs game if this is accurate!

MEXICO CITY — Mexico’s Congress on Friday passed a law that strengthens the military’s role in fighting organized crime, defying an outcry from human rights groups, police experts and even United Nations officials who warned that the measure will lead to abuses.

The law, which President Enrique Peña Nieto is expected to sign, sets up a legal framework to deploy soldiers in regions controlled by drug gangs.

The law’s supporters argue that it ends a dozen years of improvised orders that place soldiers on the streets with no clear mission and no deadline.
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/12/15/world/americas/mexico-strengthens-militarys-role-in-drug-war-outraging-critics.html




[font size="6"]The Verdict & Scorecard[/font]

Give it up for the Top 10 Mariachi Band everybody! Mexico is a great place to visit and there’s tons of cities with tons of things to do. Living here you might want to reconsider, at least for the time being.

Tourism: A+
Culture: A+
Political Spectrum: C-
Liberal Appeal: B

Overall: B+

[font size="6"]Next Week[/font]

There is no next week! This is it! We are finished! We’re coming home for some long rest! I want to thank all of our hosts – you guys were absolutely amazing! Except for maybe Saudi Arabia. But the rest of you – all amazing! I love you all! And then when the new season starts we’ll have another few rounds before Stupidest State 2018! We did it everybody!!!


[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Rise Against[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, let’s get this post season party started! Closing out the season is an awesome band from the heartland of Chicago! They have a new album out called “Wolves”. Playing their song “Welcome To The Breakdown”, give it up for Rise Against!





Wait – they want to stick around for one more? Sure!




Yeah how about that?

Thank you very much for following the Top 10 throughout the shitty year that was 2017! I want to thank all the amazing musical acts we’ve had this year. I want to thank all our contributors. I want to thank my staff, crew, fans and well everybody who supports the Top 10! I also want to thank all of our amazing hosts for the Top 10 World Tour! This is the end of the Top 10 season 3! Top 10 Conservative Idiots returns January 10th with the start of season 4 and our very special countdown to our 100th edition!

See you next year!

Credits

Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: City National Grove Of Anaheim, Anaheim, CA
Special Thanks To: City National Grove Management
Images: All images copyright belongs to respective copyright holders.
Videos: All videos copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Articles: All article content copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Writing: Top 10 Writing Department
Graphics: Top 10 Graphics Department
Research: Top 10 Research Department
Lighting & Stage Props: Top 10 Lighting Department
Legal: Top 10 Legal Department
Advertising: Top 10 Advertising Department
HR: Top 10 Human Resources Department
Initech’s Wardrobe Provided By: JAB Inc.
Wheel Of Corruption By: Studio 1 Stage Props, Burbank, CA
Mexico Hosting: Univision, Mexico City (fuck you Trump!)
Mariachi Band: Mariachi Corazon De Camino, Gardena, CA
Top 10 Gospel Choir: Apex Church Gospel Choir, San Dimas, CA
Rise Against Appear Courtesy Of: Virgin Records
Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management
Follow The Top 10 On Twitter: @DUInitechTop10


Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

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Top 10 Conservative Idiots #3-27: 2017 Year In Review Edition (Season finale!) (Original Post) Initech Dec 2017 OP
Thanks I needed that. voteearlyvoteoften Dec 2017 #1
Thanks I needed that! Initech Dec 2017 #2
Hella yes! underpants Dec 2017 #3

voteearlyvoteoften

(1,716 posts)
1. Thanks I needed that.
Wed Dec 20, 2017, 08:21 PM
Dec 2017

TV off tonight due to puke gloating.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays
🎄🎁☠️👌🏼🍷

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