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Initech

(100,059 posts)
Wed Feb 21, 2018, 06:00 PM Feb 2018

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #4-7: 3 Billboards Outside Parkland, Florida Edition

Last edited Wed Feb 21, 2018, 08:46 PM - Edit history (2)


Top 10 Conservative Idiots #4-7: 3 Billboards Outside Parkland, Florida Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Join our Top 10 Rewards program today for exciting benefits and offers! Ah who am I kidding? I am not going to subject you to that shit! We already get enough of it. But I will give you free Top 10s just for repeat customers. Because unlike Trump, we care. We are back everybody. There's a lot of crazy things happening in the world - whether it's going on in the Olympics or it's Fergie butchering the national anthem. Hey conservatives that's how you disrespect the anthem - it's not by kneeling protests, it's by Fergie. But I really think we need to hold an intervention for Jay-Z guys. Either that or invite him to my next birthday party. So Jay-Z had an epic guys' night out in New York City to celebrate the birthday of his Roc Sports' cofounder Juan Perez. During the course of the night, Jay spent a little over $110,000 for 40 bottles of his own brand of crazy expensive champagne. I really got to find some way to market to rich people - Top 10 Conservative Idiots: gold covered, epic comedy news! Only $40,000 bucks a seat! Come on down to the UCB Theater in Hollywood today! We are elite! OK maybe I need to get a better advertising angle here. But let's go through the tab - he ran through 40 bottles of his "Ace Of Spades" champagne - which totaled $91,000. He even had a $50,000 bottle of Ace Of Spades Rose. Damn, that must have been one hell of a hangover the next morning! And speaking of celebrities and booze, one of our favorites - Ryan Reynolds - bought a gin company. Which is why I'm now extremely proud to introduce to you our own brand of Top 10 Conservative Idiots fortified wine! Yes, it's slightly cheaper than Thunderbird - and in fact we use the same bottle - and it will still get you a good buzz on while you wade through our madness of making fun of Trump and the Christian right every week! And we will sell it at Trump properties, by the way! In fact I have a bottle in front of me right now. Mmmmmmmmm... it's making my eyes water. Why I do believe it tastes like pure gasoline. Maybe slightly better than that. OK enough of the intro. We have a lot of idiocy to get to, but first John Oliver is back and he tears down Trump’s international relations:



Sigh… another week, another mass shooting. I hate to keep talking about guns but as long as they’re in the news, we got to. In the first slot is “Gun Nut Apologists”, and rather than our usual nonsense, we’re going to switch things up and play a game of Gun Nut Bingo! Taking the second slot is the NRA and yes they’ve finally gone off the deep end this week. Meanwhile in Washington, that guy who we still call president Donald J. Trump (3), spent his President’s Day weekend by trashing Hillary and literally politicizing a tragedy. In the fourth slot this week is also Donald J. Trump (4). So while he was having a bad week – possibly his worst yet so far – Mueller laid the smack down and indicted a bunch of Russian nationalists! The plot is thickening, folks! Taking the fifth slot this week is our weekly sermon of all things holy, Holy Shit (5). And this week, Pastor Initech is going to show you all the ways that the Christian right is reacting to the Florida shooting, and it will make your blood boil. In the sixth slot is a new installment of our ongoing series “Top 10 Investigates”. This week – it turns out the paranoid are going to be right and your phone might actually be spying on you! At number 7, we have a new installment of “This Fucking Guy” and this week we’re going to talk about Infowars regular and guy who had his tin foil hat surgically attached, Jerome Corsi (7). At number 8 is also in the realm of Infowars and that is our old buddy Alex Jones (8). See if you can guess how Alex reacted to the Florida shooting, and the answer might shock you! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot we’ve got a new installment of “I Need A Drink”, and this week we’re going to get drunk and talk about a potentially epic crisis brewing affecting our good friends across the pond! Finally this week we’ve got the next to last installment of our Shithole World Tour 2018 and this is going to be a fun one as we’re going to be, as the Beatles would say – back in the USSR! Yes, we’re going to put Putin’s home country through our World Tour filter! Plus continuing our month long Black History Month celebration, we’ve got some live music for you from the one, the only Future! Yes, we’ve got the ATL representing this week! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Gun Nut Apologists
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Sigh………. Another week, another mass shooting. And the same bullshit about guns has been recycled so much that it’s become mulch at this point. But you know what? Fuck it. This week we’re going to do something a bit different. I hope that everyone got their BINGO cards that were being passed out at the door as you walk into the theater. And for those of you playing at home here’s the game that we will be using:



That comes courtesy of Mother Jones. So with that in mind, we’re going to get interactive here on the Top 10 and a game of Gun Nut Bingo going. Unfortunately I do not have any Top 10 swag to give away but the winner will get the smug sense of self satisfaction knowing they are smarter than your average gun nut! So what’s behind door #1?

Right-wing radio host, commentator, conspiracy theorist and Donald Trump–obsessed sycophant Wayne Allyn Root complained on his radio show last night that while yesterday’s deadly mass shooting at a high school in Florida was tragic, the media was spending too much time covering it and ignoring the much more important story of a New York real estate developer who was fined millions of dollars for destroying graffiti on his property..

http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/wayne-allyn-root-fine-against-real-estate-developer-is-a-bigger-story-than-a-mass-shooting/




OK so who had… “N - politicizing a tragedy”? Everyone? Woohoo!!! Free space achieved! What’s next on the agenda? I know!

AWR Hawkins, a Second Amendment columnist for Breitbart News, told senior editor-at-large Rebecca Mansour that there was “simply not one” law that could have prevented or “even lessened the chance” of a mass shooting like yesterday’s Florida school shooting that killed 17 people.

Last night on “Breitbart News Tonight,” Hawkins shared his reaction to news that a 19-year-old man had entered a Florida high school yesterday and activated a fire alarm with the intention of shooting and killing as many people as possible. Breitbart hosts leveraged the fact the shooter had been expelled from the high school once for disciplinary problems in an attempt to absolve the gun lobby of responsibility for yet another mass shooting.

“I’ve watched and listened to the calls for gun control already and I’ve listened to those things and you take what you describe, and you take this scenario, and you have a student who had already been expelled so he’s not to be near the school or anything,” Hawkins said. “I can’t think of a gun control law that would have stopped this, and I’ve really tried to think of that today.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/breitbart-writer-i-cant-think-of-a-gun-control-law-that-would-have-stopped-florida-shooting/




OK now things are getting interesting! Who had “G - Legal argument from someone not smart enough to get into law school”? All right excellent! Now we’re getting somewhere! What’s behind door #3?

Three students at three separate high schools in North Texas were arrested for bringing guns to school the day after the deadly Parkland, Florida massacre that left at least 17 people dead.

The Dallas Morning News reported that students at North Texas’ Marcus, Plano West and South Garland high schools brought the firearms, and all three may face felony charges.

A 16-year-old at Marcus High in Flower Mound, TX was found with “an unloaded, small-caliber handgun and ammunition,” the Morning News reported. The South Garland student had an unloaded handgun, and the Plano West student also had a handgun.

None of the firearms were discharged, and there were no injuries after students reported all three students to their schools’ Crime Stoppers programs.
https://www.rawstory.com/2018/02/students-three-separate-texas-high-schools-caught-bringing-guns-school-florida-shooting/




Hey, Nana is a bad ass, guys! Nana don’t take no shit! And she has zero fucks left to give! OK so who had… “O – Threat to kill you”? I’m getting… you, you, you , you, you, you, you, you, and you sir? Great! Now what’s behind door #4?

Fox News host Brian Kilmeade argued on Monday that the way to prevent school shootings was for the Department of Education to be more like the Transportation and Security Agency (TSA), which is tasked with keeping firearms out of airports.

During a discussion about the Parkland school shooting on Fox & Friends, co-host Steve Doocy said that the lesson from the incident was that “unstable people should not have access to guns.”

“Something needs to happen from both sides to prevent bad people from doing bad things,” he remarked. “Who knows? Maybe something will be done to federal background checks because the way it’s working right now ain’t working.”

Co-host Ainsley Earhardt asserted that there needs to more armed security in schools.
https://www.rawstory.com/2018/02/fox-news-host-floats-idea-department-education-security-instead-gun-control/




Well fucking duh! Of course it ain’t working! But having a TSA everywhere definitely isn’t going to solve this shit! So who had… “B – A good guy with a gun could stop a bad guy with a gun”? You, you, you, you, you, you, and you! You ma’am? Great! Now what’s next?

Infowars-affiliated “investigative journalist” Laura Loomer has traveled to the site of last week’s mass shooting at a Florida high school, apparently trying to recreate her disinformation and conspiracy theory-filled “coverage” of the aftermath of the mass shooting in Las Vegas last year.

Loomer has been increasingly desperate for validation from her conservative media counterparts after her anti-Muslim Twitter meltdown and her effort to portray the FBI’s investigation into the Las Vegas mass shooting as a government cover-up caused some to distance themselves. So last week, when Infowars rolled out a combination of conspiracy theories about the Florida shooting, claiming that globalists ordered the shooting to cover up the FISA memo and insisting that the shooting was the “perfect false flag,” it provided an opportunity for Loomer to once again appear on the scene of a mass shooting and pull her signature stunt of harassing public officials with conspiracy theory nonsense.

On Saturday, Loomer landed in Florida and quickly got to work on behalf of Infowars, an outlet that holds to this day that the Sandy Hook school shooting was a hoax. In a video uploaded yesterday for Infowars, Loomer shouted down Democratic Congressman Tom Deutch. On camera, Deutch told Loomer if she had “any respect for the human lives that were lost in my district” that she “wouldn’t come here” and that he would “never give an interview” to Infowars.
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/laura-loomer-is-in-florida-to-help-infowars-sow-disinformation-about-another-mass-shooting/




Yes, Laura, are you proud of yourself? So who had… “I – Guns don’t have minds of their own, you can’t blame them”? You, you, you, you, you, you, sir, and you ma’am. And then what’s behind this door? Ah, Fox News fans of course!

Fox News fans are sick and tired of seeing students at the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School call for stronger gun laws.

In response to a Fox News tweet about students in Parkland, Florida rallying to demand change to gun laws in the United States, many pro-gun Fox fans lashed out at the students and said they didn’t know what they were talking about when it comes to guns, despite the fact that a gunman last week murdered 17 of their classmates with an AR-15-style rifle.

One of the most common themes among the Fox fans was that the students were being paid by a shadowy left-wing donor to speak out, while other commenters accused the students of swallowing too many Tide Pods.

Check out the angriest reactions below.
https://www.rawstory.com/2018/02/much-paid-fox-news-fans-trash-teen-parkland-survivors-demand-stronger-gun-laws/




BINGO!!!!! Who had “I – you don’t understand my lifestyle”? Come on up here, sir, ma’am! You win our first ever Gun Nut Bingo!!! Bravo, take a bow!!!



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[font size="8"]The NRA
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Whew!!! That was fun everybody! Now back to serious shit. Yeah it sucks. Yeah it sucks to become numb to this fucking bullshit. God damn the NRA. It’s like when something like this happens, I almost don’t want to do a Top 10. But I remember the original Top 10 happened in response so I could trash the NRA’s response to multiple mass shootings. It’s been 2 fucking years!!! And nothing has changed. Not a god damn thing. And it doesn’t help that we have Orange Douche in the White House. It sucks that we live in an America where this happens!

LEAVENWORTH, Kan. — A Kansas congressional hopeful does not plan to stop a raffle for an AR-15 rifle, even though it’s the type of weapon authorities said was used in the mass shooting at a Florida high school.

Republican Tyler Tannahill, a candidate in Kansas’ 2nd Congressional District, announced the raffle to support his campaign on Tuesday, a day before 17 people were killed in the Florida shooting. He told the Kansas City Star hours after the shooting that the raffle would continue, noting it was planned a month ago to coincide with the Kansas Republican Convention this weekend in Wichita.

Tannahill, a Marine veteran from Leavenworth, is among several people in the GOP primary race to replace US Rep. Lynn Jenkins, who is not seeking re-election. He said the raffle was intended to show his support for the Second Amendment.
https://nypost.com/2018/02/15/congressional-candidate-declines-to-stop-ar-15-raffle/




Yes, you’re definitely not helping. Wait, sir, we’re not playing Bingo anymore. But I would have accepted “B – Second Amendment!!!1!1” for this story! And he’s not the only one! Remember back in the first season of the Top 10 about an AR-15 raffle (see: Idiots #31 )? Well this isn’t the first time. This country has a gun addiction. And then this happens in Missouri! Well, it’s Missouri.

Third-graders in a Missouri community are continuing to sell raffle tickets for an AR-15 to benefit their traveling baseball team after the same type of rifle was used to slaughter and injure dozens at a Florida school.

Levi Patterson, the coach of a 9-and-under baseball team in Neosho, Mo., told The Star the idea was conceived before the shooting in Parkland, Fla. A father of one of the players — who co-founded Black Rain Ordnance Inc., a weapons purveyor in Neosho — offered the weapon for the raffle.

Patterson said by phone Saturday that he considered finding a different raffle item after Wednesday’s mass shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, but ultimately decided to “turn it into a positive thing” after “getting the hate.”

“One of the people from the hate group turned in (a Facebook post about the raffle) for I don’t know what,” Patterson said. The post had shown a weapon next to the school logo, leading to fierce criticism by some until Facebook removed the post, according to Patterson.

http://www.stltoday.com/news/local/state-and-regional/third-graders-are-selling-ar--raffle-tickets-in-missouri/article_8b76ff3f-0f79-5838-a76b-89cc24e368da.html#tracking-source=home-top-story-1




How do you make fun of this shit? I mean I could joke “if only there were a good guy with a baseball bat present”, but you really can’t do that. And you can’t blame Tide Pods for this like that one asshole did earlier. The only thing to blame is the gun, and people using it. Would you be surprised that Florida’s own governor got an A+ rating from the NRA?

As a candidate for re-election four years ago, Florida Gov. Rick Scott won an A+ rating from the National Rifle Association for his record on guns.

A 2014 mailer from NRA's national headquarters told Florida voters that "Scott will stop the gun control extremists from pushing their agenda to restrict your rights in Florida."

Only Scott "will protect your rights from the Obama/(Michael) Bloomberg gun control agenda," said the mailer, which featured a photo of a smiling Scott and a big "A+."

That June, Scott signed five pro-gun bills into law in what the NRA called historic.

One bill fast-tracked applications for concealed weapons licenses; another, the so-called "Pop-Tart" bill, protected students from being punished if they fashioned pastry or other foods into fake weapons, "to avoid traumatizing innocent children," the NRA's mailer said.
www.tampabay.com/florida-politics/buzz/2018/02/19/rick-scotts-a-nra-rating-and-what-it-means-now/




This guy even allows fake guns to be protected! Yes, it’s OK to make a gun out of a Pop Tart, it’s legal in Florida! But there is some good news to come out of the shooting is that they pissed off the wrong students! I am loving the reaction to the NRA from these kids.

A student who survived the Florida school shooting on Monday shared a message for the National Rifle Association (NRA), calling for it to "disband."

During an interview on CNN, students were asked what they would say to the NRA.

"Disband, dismantle ... don't make another organization under a different name. Don't you dare come back here," Emma Gonzalez said on CNN.

"The fact that you were in power for so long and that you had so much influence for so long in America just goes to show how much time and effort we still need to spend on fixing our country."
http://thehill.com/homenews/news/374502-shooting-survivor-to-nra-dont-you-dare-come-back-here




And did anyone see that movie 3 Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri? This movie centers around a real life murder. And someone decided to recreate this last weekend. Let’s call it “3 Billboards Outside Parkland, Florida”. :

The placards take inspiration from the Academy Award-nominated film "Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri" about a mother who uses roadside advertisements to criticize local authorities' handling of her daughter's brutal rape and murder.

Global activist group Avaaz is behind the protest intended to criticize Florida's "notoriously lax gun laws" and Rubio's response to the Thursday shooting at a school in Broward County, Fl., the organization said in a press release. Avaaz cited widely circulated figures that claim Rubio has accepted $3.3 million in donations from the N.R.A. SFGATE has not independently verified those numbers.

Rubio said Thursday that gun control laws would not have prevented the mass shooting.
https://www.sfgate.com/national/article/3-billboards-Miami-troll-Marco-Rubio-shooting-fl-12620471.php




Oh and by the way, if this doesn’t make your blood boil, nothing will!

Shares of gun manufacturer American Outdoor Brands, the parent company of Smith & Wesson, closed higher on Thursday following the tragic shooting at a high school in Florida.

The company's stock rose 1.2 percent and rose as much as 4.5 percent. Sturm Ruger briefly gained 2.8 percent before closing 0.2 percent lower.

The Broward County Sheriff's Office said 17 people were gunned down Wednesday at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida. The shooter, identified as 19-year-old former student Nikolas Cruz, was booked on 17 counts of premeditated murder Thursday. He allegedly used an AR-15 assault rifle in the rampage.

Shares of Sturm Ruger and American Outdoor Brands rallied Wednesday afternoon as news of the shooting spread. The stocks closed Wednesday 2.8 percent and 5.6 percent higher, respectively.
https://www.cnbc.com/2018/02/15/gun-stocks-are-rallying-as-they-usually-do-after-a-mass-shooting.html




Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! And then of course Trump’s idiot son Qusay certainly didn’t help things in regard to the Florida shooting:

Donald Trump Jr. touted a post on a fringe, right-wing conspiracy website early Tuesday morning that slammed a high school student and survivor of the Florida school shooting — even suggesting the teen is an FBI plant.

The president’s adult son, who spends so much time on Twitter it is astounding he’s able to keep the Trump Organization afloat, liked a tweet from website TruePundit.com early Tuesday morning, which linked to an article bearing the headline: “VIDEO: Outspoken Trump-Hating School Shooting Survivor is Son of FBI Agent; MSM Helps Prop Up Incompetent Bureau.”

The story bashes David Hogg, a student at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, where a gunman opened fire last week, killing 17.
https://www.mediaite.com/online/don-jr-promotes-article-from-conspiracy-site-suggesting-trump-hating-school-shooting-survivor-is-fbi-plant/





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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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You know what people? Let’s lighten up. This is a comedy show. Let’s do comedy things. This is the 45th president of the United States in a nutshell. Hey, Trump! You’re the president! Be presidential! Lead your country in a time of national tragedy! Oh fuck it, who am I kidding? This is the 45th president of the United States we’re talking about here, would you expect that from him at this point? So this was his agenda last Saturday.

President Donald Trump met with survivors of the Parkland, Florida high school shooting on Friday, before heading to his Mar-a-Lago resort for a disco-themed party.

Trump met with survivors of Wednesday’s mass shooting at Broward Health North hospital in Pompano Beach with his wife Melania. They also stopped at the Broward County Sheriff’s Office.

“I did indeed,” Trump told reporters when asked if he met with any of the seven victims hospitalized. “It’s very sad that something like that could happen.”

CNN’s Kevin Liptak reported that after the hospital visit, Trump attended a Studio 54-themed party at Mar-a-Lago:
https://www.mediaite.com/online/trump-attends-mar-a-lago-disco-party-after-meeting-with-florida-shooting-survivors/




I'm not sure what's more horrifying - Trump using the victims of the Parkland shooting for a photo op, or the thought of him dancing to "Hot Stuff"? And I mean take it from astronaut Mark Whatney – that’s the least disco song there is! So that happened. And how did Trump respond to the Florida shooting? Well in the most Donald J. Trump way possible. Can we throw that tweet up there?




Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! So that’s how Trump responds – by attacking the FBI for not doing enough!

Washington (CNN)Students who survived the Parkland, Florida, shooting laid into President Donald Trump after he linked the FBI's failure to follow up on a report about the school shooter and the resources expended on the Russia investigation.
On Saturday, Trump tweeted, "Very sad that the FBI missed all of the many signals sent out by the Florida school shooter. This is not acceptable. They are spending too much time trying to prove Russian collusion with the Trump campaign - there is no collusion. Get back to the basics and make us all proud!"
The President's tweet caused considerable outrage online, including among apparent survivors of the shooting:
"17 of my classmates are gone. That's 17 futures, 17 children, and 17 friends stolen. But you're right, it always has to be about you. How silly of me to forget. #neveragain"
https://www.cnn.com/2018/02/18/politics/donald-trump-florida-shooting-twitter/index.html




That was just about the least presidential way Trump could act. And I mean would you expect anything less from him at this point? I know I wouldn’t . After all he’s the president who gave us this:

:large

Which leads me into how he celebrated President’s Day – which as you know is our new national day of mourning when we used to have competent leaders. I miss those times.

Donald Trump didn’t have any control over the decision by Russia’s Internet Research Agency to mount what it called “information warfare against the United States of America.” As the indictment released on Friday stated, the effort began in 2014, long before Trump was a declared candidate—much less a serious one—for office.

But by refusing to take information warfare seriously—in an attempt to distance himself from it and any questions it might raise about the legitimacy of his election—the president has paradoxically made the story about himself again and again.

This solipsism was on display Saturday and Sunday morning, as Trump, at Mar-a-Lago and far from the strictures and structures of the White House, unleashed his most aggressive and scattered tweetstorm in some time. In theory, the things he said were designed to push the story away from himself and downplay any connection. In practice, he forced himself into the middle of the story, inextricably linking himself to it.
https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2018/02/trump-solipsism/553664/




Yeah as my British friends would say – bugger off! I mean Trump’s tweets are so bad that the rest of the world is literally telling its’ leaders to ignore them:

President Donald Trump’s tweets not only trigger worries at home. They rattle leaders around the world.

But U.S. officials reportedly tried to reassure global policy representatives at an international conference in Germany over the weekend, urging them to pay no attention to the president’s Twitter rants.

The U.S. actually is angry with the Kremlin over interference in the 2016 U.S. presidential election, despite Trump’s Twitter denials, American politicians and officials told foreign policy leaders in Munich, The Washington Post reported. America also remains firmly committed to Europe. And, to be clear, the U.S. doesn’t plan on dropping a nuclear bomb on North Korea, the U.S. leaders said.

“The values are the same, the relationships are the same,” insisted Rep. Michael Turner (R-Ohio), the Post reported.

German Foreign Minister Sigmar Gabriel said Saturday he no idea how to judge U.S. intentions. “Is it deeds? Is it words? Is it tweets?” he asked.

The disconnect between Trump’s tweets and U.S. government leaders often has been apparent.

Read more: https://www.yahoo.com/news/u-officials-tell-world-leaders-123104774.html





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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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President’s Day. That day where you remember presidents by getting great discounts on mattresses and appliances. Well, when we used to have competent presidents anyways. And now we’re stuck with the asshole we currently call “president”. The division in this country right now is so deep that there’s actually a dating website for Trump supporters. And would you be surprised that the featured user has a sex offender conviction? Well, neither are we!

In the last few days, you might’ve heard about Trump.dating, the new straight-people-only online service to help out Donald Trump fans who are single and ready to mingle. For the last few days, the site prominently featured the North Carolina conservative activists you see in the picture above: William Barrett Riddleberger and his wife Jodi Riddleberger.

However, the site has a new featured couple now, and that may or may not have something to do with the fact that Mr. Riddleberger is a convicted felon.

WRAL News reported that Mr. Riddleberger’s state records show he was charged in 1995 for videotaping himself having sex with a 15-year-old girl. Riddleberger was 25 at the time, and he was convicted of taking indecent liberties with a child.
https://www.mediaite.com/online/turns-out-the-man-featured-on-dating-website-for-trump-supporters-has-a-child-sex-felony-conviction/




So that happened! While on the subject of President’s Day, remember when presidents used to do presidential things like address the nation with uplifting and inspiring messages in times of crisis? Yeah those were good times, and instead we get this:




Yup – blame the other guy for not doing anything. And let’s face it – it is Donald J. Trump we’re talking about here, would you expect anything less? I wouldn’t. So here’s what he was referring to – on Friday Mueller laid the smack down!

Special Counsel Robert Mueller and his prosecutors haven’t concluded their investigation into whether President Donald Trump or any of his associates helped Russia interfere in the 2016 election, according to a person with knowledge of the probe.

Friday’s indictment of a St. Petersburg-based “troll farm” and 13 Russian nationals should be seen as a limited slice of a comprehensive investigation, the person said. Mueller’s work is expected to continue for months and also includes examining potential obstruction of justice by Trump, said the person, who requested anonymity to discuss an investigation that is largely confidential.

A federal grand jury indicted the Russians for what it alleged was a vast scheme to interfere in the 2016 election and help Trump win. But Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein said at a news conference Friday that there is “no allegation in this indictment that any American was a knowing participant” in the alleged scheme.

Trump indicated that he believes the indictment exonerates him and his campaign.

Read more: https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2018-02-16/mueller-is-said-to-still-be-investigating-collusion-with-russia




But of course Trump immediately goes to “no collusion”. It’s like he’s a parrot. Wait! Our emotional support parrot Trumpy is here and he’s learned a new phrase!



Yay Trumpy!!! And give it up for Trumpy’s trainer everybody! So Trump is desperate and he’s reaching new levels of evil. But there’s another angle in Mueller’s investigation – a company calling itself the “Internet Research Agency” is something he is looking at.

Justice Department special counsel Robert Mueller prefers to let his work do the talking for him. On Friday, he delivered a stemwinder.

Thirteen Russians and three Russian entities were indicted by a federal grand jury in connection with the attack on the 2016 election. The indictment lays out a number of detailed allegations against the Internet Research Agency located in St. Petersburg and against individuals who owned, controlled, funded or worked for the organization.

Much of what Mueller's office charges — that influence-mongers used Facebook and Twitter to turn up the volume and pit American against American — was already public. But the 37-page indictment also includes a number of fascinating new insights.

https://www.npr.org/2018/02/17/586698361/the-russia-investigations-mueller-indicts-the-internet-research-agency




Damn straight!!! And come on, there’s no good organizations that have the letters “IRA” as its’ initials right? But the noose is tightening on Trump and his election stealing shenanigans. He’s also taking a look at Jared Kushner again:

Washington (CNN)Special counsel Robert Mueller's interest in Jared Kushner has expanded beyond his contacts with Russia and now includes his efforts to secure financing for his company from foreign investors during the presidential transition, according to people familiar with the inquiry.

This is the first indication that Mueller is exploring Kushner's discussions with potential non-Russian foreign investors, including in China.

US officials briefed on the probe had told CNN in May that points of focus related to Kushner, the White House senior adviser and son-in-law of President Donald Trump, included the Trump campaign's 2016 data analytics operation, his relationship with former national security adviser Michael Flynn, and Kushner's own contacts with Russians.

Mueller's investigators have been asking questions, including during interviews in January and February, about Kushner's conversations during the transition to shore up financing for 666 Fifth Avenue, a Kushner Companies-backed New York City office building reeling from financial troubles, according to people familiar with the special counsel investigation.

Read more: https://www.cnn.com/2018/02/19/politics/mueller-investigation-kushner-foreign-financing-efforts/index.html?sr=twCNN021918mueller-investigation-kushner-foreign-financing-efforts0402PMVODtop




Tastes great and less filling! And Kushner isn’t the only one – Manafort is also on Mueller’s radar for pulling some insane bank fraud:

Special counsel Robert Mueller’s office has told a federal judge it has found evidence that Paul Manafort, the former Trump campaign chairman, committed bank fraud not addressed by the indictment last October in which he was charged with money laundering and failure to register as a foreign agent.

As legal wrangling continues over a $10 million bail package for Manafort, prosecutors this week accused him of submitting false information to a bank in connection with one of his mortgages.

“The proposed package is deficient in the government’s view, in light of additional criminal conduct that we have learned since the Court’s initial bail determination,” prosecutors wrote in a court filing submitted on Tuesday and made public in a redacted form on Friday evening. “That criminal conduct includes a series of bank frauds and bank fraud conspiracies.”

No criminal charges are known to have been filed over the alleged fraud, and Mueller’s office does not say in the filing whether it intends to bring any.

Read more: https://www.politico.com/story/2018/02/16/mueller-manafort-bank-fraud-accusations-416509





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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Yes friends! Gather around, my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened, and it is our weekly duty to remind you that the holiest among us are also the most full of:



Unfortunately this last week is yet another week that ended in tragedy. Although unlike our current president, I will make the most of trying to comfort in this time of need. But not before trashing our brothers and sisters in the Christian right, for their behavior is inexcusable in the eyes of our almighty creator! Like for instance, take this man, Carl Gallup!

Carl Gallups, a right-wing pastor and conspiracy theorist who spoke at Trump campaign rallies in 2016, appeared on TheDove TV’s “Focus Today” program yesterday to discuss the mass shooting at a Florida high school earlier this week, which he said was part of a demonic attack aimed at weakening America through gun control in preparation for the rise of the Antichrist.

“This has it’s origins in the spiritual realms,” he said. “There is a concerted demonic attempt to undermine the United States of America, to bring it down, to destroy the most precious among us. Why is that such a demonic attempt? Because we know the scriptures say that there will arise a generation that will see this Antichrist system, this one-world order … The bottom line is we are headed that way.”

“The United States is the largest Christian nation the planet has ever seen,” Gallups continued. “It’s the number one military superpower, it’s the number one economic superpower and so there is a demonic attempt to destroy it, to bring it down, to break the culture into some kind of submission. One of those ways is to take away our ability to defend ourselves, so every time something like this happens, the leftists start screaming—you can almost hear it from the pits of hell—’Take away all the guns, take away all the guns.’ That’s not the solution and we all know it’s not and we know why, but we hear that, so this is very spiritual, it’s very deep, it’s very dark.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/carl-gallups-mass-shooting-are-a-demonic-attempt-to-weaken-america-through-gun-control-in-preparation-for-the-antichrist/




Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! So apparently the banning of guns will lead to the anti-Christ! I mean really, isn’t killing people one of the original SINS!!! And it is most definitely a sin in the eyes of our Lord JAYSUS! Can I get an amen???? But there apparently be no greater SIN than the SIN of not being masculine enough, because if there's one thing that the Christian right loves, it's the Rambo franchise!

Religious Right activist Dave Daubenmire has been anything but shy about criticizing the male students at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, for not acting like “real men” and tackling a shooter who opened fire on the school last week with an assault rifle, killing 12 students and five faculty members.

Daubenmire returned to this theme on his “Pass The Salt Live” webcast this morning, fuming that male students today are not being taught the virtues and responsibilities of masculinity.

“This will sound horrible, but I have to say it,” Daubenmire stated. “Instead of the aftermath of these shootings in Florida being, ‘Hey, dude,’ where young guys are saying to each other, ‘I’m gonna learn to fire a gun, I ain’t ever gonna let this happen again, I’m gonna learn to fire a gun,’ instead the reaction is, ‘Oh, please take the guns away.’ The exact opposite message! Meet power with power! That’s manhood, masculinity!

“We don’t even teach it, we have no concept of it,” Daubenmire lamented, adding that “guys like us who really get it” are ridiculed by people like Howard Stern and organizations like Right Wing Watch.

“Most guys don’t have the stones to stand up and say, ‘I don’t care what you say!'” Daubenmire screamed. “‘It don’t bother me! Here’s what I think! Suck on that one, bud!'”

After Daubenmire fumed that the fear of offending others is “so womanly,” one of the participants in the livestream piped up to share his theory that most men today display a lack masculinity because “they just want to sleep with the women.”

“Boys, your life would be a lot easier if you’d quit letting your peter rule your life,” stated Daubenmire. “I shouldn’t have said that either, and I’m not sorry.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/dominionists-head-to-trumps-dc-hotel-to-bring-heavens-rule-to-america/




Yes, David, run into the gun fire! What a great idea! What could possibly go wrong? But of course I now ask my fair congregation – you know why the demons with guns are let loose in the school system? You know why? Take a guess!

Right-wing pastor Rick Joyner posted a video on Facebook today in which he blamed yesterday’s mass shooting at a high school in Florida on the removal of prayer from public schools and declared that only the church is equipped to close the “gate of hell” and make this nation “completely free” of these kinds of attacks.

“There is good spiritual evidence that the Columbine shooting in Colorado years ago opened a gate of hell into our country,” he said. “Gates of hell are access points, they are doorways through which hell gains access to our lives, our families, our churches, our communities. In this case, I think it has been the whole country … When there has been a breakthrough of hell into society, only the church has the spiritual authority to shut that gate of hell.”

“When prayer was removed from our schools, I believe that was the beginning of the gate of hell, many gates of hell, that are destroying our youth, our families,” Joyner continued. “That had provided a hedge of protection for our students … When prayer was removed from school, we basically said, ‘God, we don’t want you in our schools.’ He said, ‘OK.'”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/rick-joyner-links-florida-shooting-to-end-of-school-prayer-opening-the-gate-of-hell/




Really guys? Our JAYSUS wouldn’t do that! Because our god is a just and loving god and he punishes all sinners. It sayeth so in the Good Book! Can I get an amen??? But apparently this mass of murders happened because we liberals don’t worship JAYSUS enough! And blasphemy is a sin in our Good Book!

Gateway Pundit’s White House correspondent Lucian Wintrich blamed yesterday’s school shooting that killed 17 people in Florida on liberals who have “demonized” the church in favor of “fringe ways of thinking.”

Wintrich appeared yesterday alongside his co-host Ali Akbar, an activist within the self-labeled “New Right” movement, for an episode of “Wintrich Report” dedicated to the school shooting in Florida earlier that day, Akbar’s conversation with Twitter’s CEO about alleged censorship of conservatives, and a careless reporting error Wintrich made earlier that evening. While discussing the shooting, Akbar said that the mass shooting was a sign that “something is wrong in society,” which prompted Wintrich to launch into a tangent about the church.

“Part of it is the lack of community and the lack of the role of the church in modern American society. And I think that the way the left has disparaged that, what they’ve done—and it infuriates me what the left has done these days—is they have demonized Christianity, the church, Jesus Christ, who if you read his teachings, right, it was ‘We’re all brothers. Look out for one another.’ The left has demonized that and then propelled these fringe ways of thinking,” Wintrich said.
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/lucian-wintrich-says-florida-school-shooting-happened-because-liberals-demonized-the-church/




Wait until he sees this program! And no, dipshit we’re just demonizing *YOU*. So get over it and move on. For the good LAWRD sayeth “He who doth commit the sin of lying must be punished, for it is the most egregious of sins!!!” it sayeth so in the good book of Blame 6 . Yes, our book has both 69 and 420 in it! We are encouraged to do both! But before we go this week, keep this in mind as you celebrate President’s Day – Trump has made America say “Merry Christmas” again! That’s how you spit in the face of tragedy!

Religious Right political operative Ralph Reed urged supporters of his Faith and Freedom Coalition to mark Presidents’ Day by “thanking President Trump for all he’s done for our nation and for the American people.”

Reed’s email gushed that Trump “has proven, time and time again, that he’s a fearless champion for conservative values,” praising Trump’s support for the Republican tax bill and his administration’s zeal in rolling back regulations.

Reed praised Trump as “a tireless advocate for Christian values,” writing, “From the onset, President Trump promised to make America say ‘Merry Christmas’ again—and fight back against anti-Christian bigotry.” Reed also celebrated Trump for addressing the anti-abortion-rights March for Life and supporting legislation to ban abortions after 20 weeks.
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/ralph-reed-on-presidents-day-thank-trump-for-making-america-say-merry-christmas/




Yes and the LAWRD was truly speechless on this one! Now go forth with the knowledge of how the religious handle tragedies! Next week we will show you how they bend thy rules. Mass has ended, may you go in peace! Or pieces depending on if your church supports thy shotgun or not! That’s it this week for:




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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Smart Device Spying
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We now present to you the best in text-based armchair investigative journalism. It’s now time for a new installment of:



Smartphones. You have one. At times they are the best invention of the modern era, and at times they are also the worst invention of the modern era. And for those of you lucky enough to be able to afford and use a current Android or iOS device, you most likely don’t have to worry about this next subject. But for those of you who can’t afford one, you most likely have a phone from Chinese budget brands Huawei and ZTE.

Six top U.S. intelligence chiefs told the Senate Intelligence Committee on Tuesday they would not advise Americans to use products or services from Chinese smartphone maker Huawei.

The six — including the heads of the CIA, FBI, NSA and the director of national intelligence — first expressed their distrust of Apple-rival Huawei and fellow Chinese telecom company ZTE in reference to public servants and state agencies.

When prompted during the hearing, all six indicated they would not recommend private citizens use products from the Chinese companies.

"We're deeply concerned about the risks of allowing any company or entity that is beholden to foreign governments that don't share our values to gain positions of power inside our telecommunications networks," FBI Director Chris Wray testified.

"That provides the capacity to exert pressure or control over our telecommunications infrastructure," Wray said. "It provides the capacity to maliciously modify or steal information. And it provides the capacity to conduct undetected espionage."
https://www.cnbc.com/2018/02/13/chinas-hauwei-top-us-intelligence-chiefs-caution-americans-away.html




But for the truly paranoid it might not be just limited to those brands. In fact you may have one of those smart devices in your home from Google, Amazon, and now Apple. There’s even another method to their madness, and sometimes the truly paranoid might actually be right!

In December, I converted my one-bedroom apartment in San Francisco into a “smart home.” I connected as many of my appliances and belongings as I could to the internet: an Amazon Echo, my lights, my coffee maker, my baby monitor, my kid’s toys, my vacuum, my TV, my toothbrush, a photo frame, a sex toy, and even my bed.

“Our bed?” asked my husband, aghast. “What can it tell us?”

“Our breathing rate, heart rate, how often we toss and turn, and then it will give us a sleep report each morning,” I explained.

“Sounds creepy,” he said, as he plopped down on that bed, not bothered enough to relax instead on our non-internet-connected couch.

I soon discovered that the only thing worse than getting a bad night’s sleep is to subsequently get a report from my bed telling me I got a low score and “missed my sleep goal.” Thanks, smart bed, but I know that already. I feel like shit.
https://gizmodo.com/the-house-that-spied-on-me-1822429852




Yes, WTF LOL indeed. So keep this in mind the next time you’re looking for a bargain based smartphone or any smart device. But it’s not just limited to Huawei and ZTE phones. In fact all of your phones and devices might be spying on you.

Consider everything your smartphone has done for you today. Counted your steps? Deposited a check? Transcribed notes? Navigated you somewhere new?

Smartphones make for such versatile pocket assistants because they’re equipped with a suite of sensors, including some we may never think — or even know — about, sensing, for example, light, humidity, pressure and temperature.

Because smartphones have become essential companions, those sensors probably stayed close by throughout your day: the car cup holder, your desk, the dinner table and nightstand. If you’re like the vast majority of American smartphone users, the phone’s screen may have been black, but the device was probably on the whole time.

“Sensors are finding their ways into every corner of our lives,” says Maryam Mehrnezhad, a computer scientist at Newcastle University in England. That’s a good thing when phones are using their observational dexterity to do our bidding. But the plethora of highly personal information that smartphones are privy to also makes them powerful potential spies.
https://www.sciencenews.org/article/smartphones-data-collection-security-privacy




That’s probably the only safe way to talk on the phone these days. Who needs spies when you have smart devices? But it might not just be your smartphone – it might be other smart devices! Your vacuum cleaner!

“Consumers need to be aware of these features and aware of the possibilities that can happen with those features installed on their devices,” said technology expert Burton Kelso.

Kelso said it’s just one more “smart device” that is collecting information about you.

“That will target you with ads that are geared towards your lifestyle or your house size. But at this base, it’s really designed to help the Roomba do a better job of vacuuming,” Kelso said.

iRobot is conscious of the security and privacy concerns that the new camera and connectivity may introduce.

“Right now, the information Roomba collects enables it to effectively clean the home and provides customers with information about cleaning performances. iRobot believes that in the future, this information could provide even more value for our customers by enabling the smart home and the devices within it to work better, but always with their explicit consent,” said a representative from iRobot.
http://www.kctv5.com/story/37451253/sweeping-up-more-than-just-dirt-is-your-roomba-spying-on-you




Yes, it does seem a little crazy indeed. How about your smart medical devices?

Abilify is the first FDA-approved pill with a tracking mechanism, but it's hardly the first medical entry in the Internet of Things. Medical devices such as insulin pumps, pacemakers, and CPAP breathing devices can all be enabled to report data back to users and medical professionals alike. Given the high-stakes nature of the first two, where insulin use and regulating heartbeats can literally be life-saving, these technological changes make sense on the surface. There have been some problems, though. First, all Internet-enabled tech can be hacked. Last fall, the FDA recalled 500,000 Internet-connected pacemakers over security concerns. Medical device giant Johnson & Johnson warned consumers that its insulin pumps could be hacked. The idea of someone turning off your heart by hacking is the scary stuff of science fiction, and might well be a real threat.
https://psmag.com/social-justice/the-pills-have-eyes




Yes, probably. What about your TV?

Consumer Reports has found that millions of smart TVs can be controlled by hackers exploiting easy-to-find security flaws.

The problems affect Samsung televisions, along with models made by TCL and other brands that use the Roku TV smart-TV platform, as well as streaming devices such as the Roku Ultra.

We found that a relatively unsophisticated hacker could change channels, play offensive content, or crank up the volume, which might be deeply unsettling to someone who didn’t understand what was happening. This could be done over the web, from thousands of miles away. (These vulnerabilities would not allow a hacker to spy on the user or steal information.)
https://www.consumerreports.org/televisions/samsung-roku-smart-tvs-vulnerable-to-hacking-consumer-reports-finds/




Again, yes, probably. But while we are pointing out security devices in all the smart products you own, we should point out that the beef between the US government and Huawei might have an ulterior motive.

Huawei is the third largest smartphone manufacturer in the world behind Samsung and Apple. It is also the ninth largest technology company (by revenue) worldwide with 180,000 employees and an average annual revenue of $78.8 billion. In other words, Huawei is as "big" a company as Microsoft. That's good news for Huawei, and usually seeing a company move up the ladder to challenge the market leaders is good for consumers, too. Officially, Huawei is a subsidiary of Huawei Investment & Holding Co., Ltd. in Shenzhen, China and that's where the real issues the U.S. has with Huawei start.

Unofficially, everyone thinks the Chinese government is in control of Huawei. While I'm not an expert on foreign affairs or the history of the Chinese Communist Party, I am smart enough to know that the Chinese state surely does have a financial interest in one of the biggest companies inside its border. The chance that the state has a controlling interest in Huawei doesn't surprise me, either. There has been no evidence offered, and not surprisingly there isn't much on the public record to clear things up, so we have to assume that it could be true. Intelligence agencies, as well as economic agencies and trade officials, have a problem with this. A big problem for several key reasons.
https://www.androidcentral.com/us-governments-beef-huawei-isnt-really-about-phones




There you have it. The US government’s beef with Huawei is based on an urban legend. But that doesn’t excuse the spying. Until next time, that is it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.




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[font size="8"]Jerome Corsi
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It’s now time for:



This week’s “This Fucking Guy” award goes to Infowars regular and guy who had his tin foil hat surgically attached to his head, Jerome Corsi. You might know Corsi best for appearing along side Alex Jones and saying things more batshit than he does! In case you’re wondering about the kind of Grade A, USDA certified bullshit that Corsi puts out on a daily basis, here’s some of his greatest hits. And this is just for the last couple of weeks!

Jerome Corsi, a right-wing “journalist” for the conspiracy theory website Infowars, has recently dedicated himself to decoding the cryptic postings of an anonymous internet user known as “QAnon” and their supposed relevance to the fringe right-wing conspiracy theory known as “The Storm,” which alleges that the special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 presidential election is really a cover for President Trump’s efforts to take down thousands of corrupt political, business and entertainment leaders who are part of a massive satanic pedophile ring.

Over the weekend, Corsi posted a video in which he claimed that the recent disappearance of Sean Hannity’s Twitter account was the work of the “deep state,” which was trying to conceal a coded message that Hannity was sending that would have revealed that Trump is about to launch a “counterattack” against those who have been working to undermine his presidency.

On Sunday, Hannity’s Twitter account sent out a mysterious message that said simply “Form Submission 1649” before the account disappeared. It was restored a few hours later, but Corsi, relying on posts from QAnon, said that Hannity’s final message actually carried a secret message.

“What 1649 is, that is the year in which Charles I in Great Britain was beheaded in a treasonous plot,” Corsi said. “Those posts that were coming out from Hannity were suggesting that we are moving into a phase in which it is going to be more clearly said that Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton were involved in treason.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/jerome-corsi-says-sean-hannity-was-sending-out-a-coded-message-before-the-deep-state-took-down-his-twitter-account/




So let me get this straight. Hannity is receiving intel from QAnon – an anonymous twitter troll, who then repeats it back on Fox News, and then Hannity says it on air with the hope that Trump is watching and then it shows up in Trump’s daily twitter toilet tantrums. It’s a bullshit to bullshit pipeline! Thank you audience! But that isn’t the only batshit crazy thing Corsi has said lately. Let’s go through some of his greatest hits. I mean come on, Adam Schiff is being targeted because he’s in that super secret pedophile cabal that they’re always talking about. I didn’t know that!

Jerome Corsi, a right-wing “journalist” for the conspiracy theory website Infowars, returned to the “Lionel Nation” program today to discuss his latest effort to “decode” the cryptic postings of an anonymous internet user known only as “Q,” which he claimed reveal that Democratic Rep. Adam Schiff may be being blackmailed over alleged involvement in pedophilia.

Corsi has recently dedicated himself full-time to covering the cryptic postings of an anonymous 8Chan forum board poster known as “Q,” whom some right-wing activists believe to be a high-ranking official within the Trump administration—or possibly even President Trump himself. Q’s posts are at the center of a fringe right-wing conspiracy theory known as “The Storm,” which alleges that special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 presidential election is really a cover for President Trump’s efforts to take down thousands of corrupt political, business and entertainment leaders who are part of a massive satanic pedophile ring.

Relying on recent posts from Q, Corsi attempted to tie Schiff, the ranking member of the House Intelligence Committee and leading critic of a recently released memo regarding surveillance of a Trump campaign adviser, to the sprawling conspiracy theory. Corsi alleged that Schiff had ties to three people who died in a recent helicopter crash, all of whom were “associated with the Standard Hotel, a trendy, gay-friendly hotel located in Schiff’s district in West Hollywood, California.” Offering absolutely no evidence to substantiate anything he said, Corsi reported that “a pedophilia ring” was being run out of this hotel and now “you’ve got Schiff being involved, perhaps, with blackmail, there is possibly pedophilia, all of which has been suggested by QAnon as the subject of research.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/jerome-corsi-suggests-that-rep-adam-schiff-is-being-blackmailed-over-involvement-in-pedophilia/




Quick! To the pedo mobile!



Thank you sound effects guy! We can’t make fun of the right wing enough for this shit because they deserve it every time they bring up “rampant pedophilia”. And then there was this.

Last week, Jerome Corsi, a right-wing “journalist” for the conspiracy theory website Infowars, appeared on “Lionel Nation” to discuss his efforts to decode the cryptic postings of an anonymous internet user known only as “Q” and their supposed relevance to the coming “storm.”

As we have noted before, Corsi, who was behind the bogus “Swift Boat” attacks on John Kerry and the equally bogus birther attacks on Barack Obama, has recently become obsessed with “The Storm,” a fringe right-wing conspiracy theory alleging that the special counsel investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 presidential election is really a cover for President Trump’s efforts to take down thousands of corrupt political, business and entertainment leaders who are part of a massive satanic pedophile ring.

Those who traffic in this conspiracy theory rely almost entirely on 8chan forum board posts penned by a figure known only as “Q,” whom they believe is actually a high-ranking official within the Trump administration—or possibly even Trump himself. The cryptic warnings and messages posted by Q, Corsi stated, are designed to prepare Americans for the horrible truth that is soon to be revealed once Trump unleashes a wave of arrests.
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/jerome-corsi-when-the-storm-breaks-well-see-films-of-global-elites-butchering-children/




Think of it like playing a really fucked up game of “Six Degrees Of Kevin Bacon”. Except there’s just one degree and Kevin Bacon is a satanic pedophile. You know one of these days I want to do an all “THIS IS WHAT INFOWARS REALLY BELIEVES IN” edition. Because they believe in some fucked up shit. Like you know Infowars loves them some false flags. Remember the GOP train attack? False flag!

Jerome Corsi, the crackpot conspiracy theorist who works as a “journalist” for the right-wing website Infowars, participated in a livestream on YouTube this morning in which he asserted that an accident yesterday in which a train carrying dozens of Republican members of Congress collided with a garbage truck was really an ISIS “sleeper cell” attack.

According to Corsi, the government had shut down every road that intersected with the route the train was traveling and that the train itself was being escorted by an Apache attack helicopter, which spotted a truck racing alongside the tracks, accelerating in order to “try to calculate the timing to hit the train” and derail it.

“There were three guys in the cab, we don’t know their names, we don’t know who they were,” Corsi said. “We are getting zero information out about this at all. This was clearly an activating sleeper cells attack that failed, done by amateurs who we are going to later find out probably had affiliation with ISIS or whatever.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/jerome-corsi-gop-train-accident-was-a-false-flag-terror-attack/




Or how about that Russian plane crash last week? Guess what? False flag!

Jerome Corsi, a right-wing “journalist” for the conspiracy theory website Infowars, appeared on “The Alex Jones Show” yesterday to discuss the crash of an airplane in Russia in which 71 people were killed. Corsi asserted that the crash was really the result of a bomb planted by the CIA to kill executives of the Russian energy corporation Rosatom in order to cover up the Uranium One “scandal.”

Rosatom is at the center of the bogus Uranium One right-wing conspiracy theory and Corsi declared that this plane crash was really “a CIA hit” to kill company executives in order to prevent them from testifying against Hillary Clinton, despite the fact that there is no evidence to support his claim that any executives from Rosatom were even on the plane in question.

“It turns out on the plane crash, there were several executives of Rosatom, which is the Russian energy agency that is involved in the Uranium One deal,” Corsi said. “There were several executives actually on board of this airplane. One of the top ones was a gentleman named Ivanov, who ended up being the CFO of Rosatom. This is the agency that has been involved in the whole Uranium One deal.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/jerome-corsi-russian-plane-crash-was-a-cia-hit-to-cover-up-the-uranium-one-scandal/




Come on, even Steve Harvey thinks you’re crazy! So we have satanic pedophiles, false flags, and cover ups. That’s Jerome Corsi, this week’s:




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Fuck, just once I was hoping I wouldn’t have to talk about Alex Jones and his stupid show. What? I don’t want to! Make me! OK, fine, Carlos. I will. What? You can’t prove it! That’s Carlos, our producer, everybody! Well, anyway, Alex Jones called the latest school shooting a “false flag”. Which should come as a shock to, um, absolutely no one. Especially followers of this program. Aurora? False flag. Sandy Hook? False flag. Orlando? False flag. San Bernardino? False flag. And now Parkland? False flag.

Alex Jones, the nutritional supplement salesman leading Infowars, claimed the school shooting in Florida yesterday proved his prediction that globalists would orchestrate a mass causality after the release of the House Intelligence Committee’s FISA memo

Today on “The Alex Jones Show,” Jones spent much of his time outlining his elaborate multi-shooter, false-flag conspiracy theories about yesterday’s horrific mass murder at a Florida high school.

Jones claimed that he had predicted “more than 10 times on air” that a “new Oklahoma City attack on a church, a school, or a federal building blamed on right-wing terrorists” would happen in the United States after Rep. Adam Schiff warned that releasing Rep. Devin Nunes’ widely hyped (and later panned) memo could pose an increased risk of domestic terrorism in the United States.
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/alex-jones-says-globalists-ordered-florida-school-shooting-because-fisa-memo-was-released/




Yes he is fucking crazy. Really, Alex? All of these shootings are false flags? Tell me more! Well, it certainly wouldn’t be the most hair-brained thing he’s cooked up lately. He’s in some deep paranoia about the “deep state”.

This afternoon, the Dow Jones industrial average suffered a dramatic drop while President Trump delivered a speech about the economy. Naturally, Infowars conspiracy theorist Alex Jones blamed today’s sudden Dow drop on what he believes is an ongoing war between President Trump and the secret “deep state” society that supposedly controls the nation.

“This is a big, big deal and again, this is economic warfare, undoubtedly, against this president,” Jones said. “They’ve been trying as hard as they can. There he is touring the country, getting thousands of factories back, and now this happens. You better believe something this big is meant to embarrass him on his big economic tour he’s involved in.”

Doug Hagmann, who was sitting in to take over the radio hour, agreed with Jones and claimed the stock market plunge was “blowback by the deep state.”
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/alex-jones-dow-jones-drop-is-economic-warfare-between-trump-and-deep-state/




Normally I don’t like showing the clips but we got to show this one because it’s exquisite:



INVEST IN OUR INFOWARS BRAND TACTICAL CURRENCY! IT NEVER DROPS AND YOU’LL NEVER BE BROKE!!!! We got to keep this operation afloat here people! Well, anyway, back to the Florida shooting, while the rest of America was shocked and horrified at the events of what happened, Alex got a gun and he was showing it off.

InfoWars' Alex Jones (left) and his "snowflake" gun (right). Images via screengrab and Twitter.
Don't miss stories. Follow Raw Story!

In the midst of a deadly school shooting in Parkland, Florida, InfoWars host Alex Jones tweeted two close-up photos of a gun etched with epithets about “snowflakes,” “unicorns” and “libturds.” It was accompanied only by a heart-eyes emoji.

It took almost no time for Twitter to pick up on the terrible timing of Jones’ post.

“The Sandy Hook truther decided to post some sweet gun pics right in the middle of another school shooting,” journalist Parker Molloy tweeted, referencing Jones’ belief that the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting in 2012 was a “false flag” operation planned by anti-gun government forces.

“What a ghoul,” the journalist added.
https://www.rawstory.com/2018/02/internet-rains-hell-piece-sht-alex-jones-tweeting-photos-anti-snowflake-gun-deadly-school-shooting/




Can we show that?




Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Wow, you know Alex, timing is everything, and you lost big time. And he loses even further because this is who he chooses to blame. Yup, it’s us.

It took no time at all for the right to start peddling lies, half-truths, and misinformation in the wake of Wednesday's school shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida—a massacre that took the lives of 17 students and adults who had committed the grevious sin of getting up and going to school that day.

Alex Jones, the lead-supplement-pushing conspiracy theorist and professional yeller behind InfoWars, blamed the Democrats.

The Democrats have been caught in false flags before. I'm not saying this is a false flag but they've been talking about massacres and things if people don’t leave them alone, and release the memo. So, if there are massacres and they keep threatening massacres, that makes them suspects when they’ve been threatening massacres. And who what mentally-ill person they’ve wound up or what’s happening or was this gang related. We don’t know. The media will say that I said it’s a false flag and the Democrats did it. I did not say that. We’re simply questioning the long history that these folks have.
https://www.thestranger.com/slog/2018/02/15/25820511/alex-jones-blames-the-latest-school-shooting-on-democrats






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[font size="8"]I Need A Drink
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It’s now time for:



Whew, man, I need a drink this week. This week got particularly dark. So tell me, bartender, what goes well with KFC? A Bloody Mary with chicken nuggets? No thanks I think I’ll stick to my usual Jack Daniels mixed with Jack Daniels. I call it the Double Jack. So this week while Cape Town recently received the alarming news that its’ city only has a finite supply of drinkable water left, our friends in the UK are facing a shortage that’s equally as alarming.

More bad news for KFC fans: A chicken shortage that has closed hundreds of stores in the UK could last all week.

The fast food chain was forced to shut restaurants across the country after a logistics snafu hit chicken deliveries.

As many as 800 of about 900 KFC locations were closed on Monday. Roughly 600 locations remained closed at lunchtime on Tuesday.

"Each day more deliveries are being made, however, we expect the disruption to some restaurants to continue over the remainder of the week, meaning some will be closed and others operating with a reduced menu or shortened hours," a KFC spokesperson said in a statement emailed to CNN.

In a message posted on its UK Twitter account, KFC said "our teams are working round the cluck" to reopen all restaurants.
http://money.cnn.com/2018/02/20/news/kfc-chicken-shortage-uk-stores/index.html




Damn straight! And I mean come on people it’s fucking KFC! At least in America when we eat shit it’s because it’s late at night, we’re drunk, and that’s usually the last recourse before vomit. But seriously people don’t go and create chaos. That’s what the Joker does!

"The chicken crossed the road, just not to our restaurants," KFC said on Twitter.

"We've brought a new delivery partner onboard, but they've had a couple of teething problems - getting fresh chicken out to 900 restaurants across the country is pretty complex!" it added, apologising to customers for the inconvenience.

"We won't compromise on quality, so no deliveries has meant some of our restaurants are closed, and others are operating a limited menu or shortened hours."

The statement listed KFC restaurants that were still open despite the problems.

The distribution network uses software developed by the firm Quick Service Logistics (QSL).
http://www.bbc.com/news/business-43110910




Well, at least it’s good to know that there’s no shortage of bad puns in the UK. And it’s also good to know that they won’t compromise on quality. But really people don’t get the police involved. They have much more important things to do than to fulfill your cravings for grease.

There was panic on the streets of London as the 'KFC crisis' rolled into its fourth day, with more than half of its 900 UK stores closed due to a chicken shortage.

Frustrated chicken lovers were resorting to calling the police, who warned "fried chicken is not a police matter", as well as contacting their MPs.

Staff keen to get back to work reportedly took matters into their own hands, and KFC told The Telegraph it is "urgently investigating" an incident in Kent, where workers were seen smuggling what looked like meat from the local butcher into the back door of the premises. The chain is also looking into reports that staff members in West London, approached a local butcher to ask for all their chicken stock.

The fried chicken company has said it has strict food safety policies in place, and staff should not be taking chicken from local butchers.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/02/20/kfc-chicken-shortage-causes-chaos-police-tell-customers-stop/




Well the chicken from the local butchers is probably a step up in quality. I mean it’s fucking KFC people! At least in America we know shitty food is shitty food, and you know what? We’ll eat it anyways because that’s what we do here. And you know what? When one place runs out of shitty food we go to the next place that serves shitty food. Because it’s late, we’re hungry, and we don’t give a shit! It’s the American way, damn it! At least in Europe you have the option of eating much better food because they banned high fructose corn syrup. Or maybe not.

People took to social media to vent their frustration at the issue, while some also made light of the supplier problem.

Andrew Penfold said: “I think the Colonel should be demoted to Sergeant.”

Adam Thorpe said: “Bad times for a KFC lover here in sunny Ipswich.”

While Bee Giles tweeted: “Every cloud has a silver lining. Bin those calories.”
http://www.ipswichstar.co.uk/news/the-colonel-is-working-on-it-chicken-shortage-closes-cardinal-park-kfc-1-5398617



Well if there is a plus side there is also no shortage of quality jokes in the UK! And really how much fried chicken can you eat, UK? But for every quality joke there is always a bad pun that comes after it.

The UK is KFC's largest market in Europe, and one of its top five globally.

Franchisees operate 95% of KFC's outlets in the country. The company said Monday that it would pay its staff as normal, and it was encouraging franchisees to do the same.

KFC did not say whether it would compensate its franchisee operators for lost business.

KFC fans have used social media to complain and express their amusement this week over a chicken restaurant running out of its signature product.
http://money.cnn.com/2018/02/20/news/kfc-chicken-shortage-uk-stores/index.html





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[font size="8"]World Tour Shithole Edition Destination #5: Russia
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Part of our mission statement here at the Top 10 Conservative Idiots is to show you that conservative idiocy isn’t just a problem with America. No, it’s a global problem that is stemming far and wide, and it’s not just America where conservative idiots ruin everything they touch. And if you’re thinking of moving out of the United States just because Donald J. Trump is our current president and our nation is turning to shit, you should know what it is you’re getting into should you decide that you want to leave the country. Well now things suddenly got interesting! So our world tour got hijacked by Donald Trump, and we’re off on a quest to find if any of the places Trump is suggesting are shitholes are actually shitholes. So here’s the World Tour 2018 Shithole Edition:



[font size="6"]Russia[/font]



Ah, stupid Youtube copyright laws. I wanted to include the Beatles’ classic tune “Back In The USSR” because that would be perfect for this entry. Of course you know Russia. It’s all over the news right now because of one man: Robert Mueller. Who we will get to in a minute. But first it is always our duty to tell you more about Russia. Russia is the single largest country in the free world. Its’ major cities include Sochi, St. Petersburg, Vladviostock, and of course the capital Moscow. It’s the home to the national airline Aeroflot, which also owns and operates many Russian manufactured aircraft and that includes Russian manufacturers Illyushin, Tupolev, and Yakolev, and it’s also the home of the world’s largest aircraft currently in operation – the Antonov AN-225! Now as far as landmarks go, Moscow is the home of a world wonder – the Kremlin. It’s also the home of the Trans-Siberian Railway – as once famously profiled in Agatha Christie’s classic novel and recent flick starring Josh Gad and Kenneth Branagh – Murder On The Orient Express. Russia is also the home of Red Square – at one point the center of Russian activities which included military parades (something Trump loves) and public executions – something Trump doesn’t say he loves but probably thinks it. But what else is Russia the home of? Why it’s the home of a whole lots of people about ready to go down!

Thirteen Russians have been criminally charged for interfering in the 2016 US election to help Donald Trump, the office of Robert Mueller, the special counsel, announced on Friday.

Mueller’s office said 13 Russians and three Russian entities, including the notorious state-backed “troll farm” the Internet Research Agency, had been indicted by a federal grand jury in Washington DC.

A 37-page indictment alleged that the Russians’ operations “included supporting the presidential campaign of then-candidate Donald J Trump ... and disparaging Hillary Clinton,” his Democratic opponent.

Mueller alleged that Russian operatives “communicated with unwitting individuals associated with the Trump campaign”, but the indictment did not address the question of whether anyone else in Trump’s team had knowingly colluded.

Rod Rosenstein, the deputy attorney general, said at a press conference in Washington: “There is no allegation in this indictment that any American had any knowledge.” Rosenstein added that the charges did not mean the Russian activity had an effect on the outcome of the election.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2018/feb/16/robert-mueller-russians-charged-election




Thank you minions! And then there’s this where the infamous Troll Bot Army finally has a name – they’re called the “Internet Research Agency”.

The Department of Justice’s Deputy Attorney General, Rod Rosenstein, has announced a sweeping indictment of 13 Russian citizens, and several corporate entities they’re connected to, as part of an attempt to interfere in U.S. elections, at least as far back as 2014 and including the 2016 presidential race. The accusations against the defendants include the following: (1) They operated fake Facebook pages; (2) They committed identity theft for the purposes of electoral interference; (3) They enteried the U.S. on false pretenses; (4) They contacted the Trump campaign without revealing their connections to a hostile power; (5) They tried to stage rallies, discourage people from voting, and laundered money through U.S. banks.

All of this was done under the auspices of the blandly named “Internet Research Agency.” And this isn’t the first time the Internet Research Agency has been embroiled in international affairs. Here’s what you need to know about Russia’s social media propaganda operation:

The Internet Research Agency was first discovered in 2013: Located in St. Petersburg’s Olgino district, the Internet Research Agency was first uncovered by Russian journalists in 2013. It’s not Russia’s only trolling and propaganda operation on the internet, but it became so synonymous with Russian propaganda operations that even those located elsewhere are called “trolls from Olgino.”
http://uproxx.com/news/what-is-internet-research-agency-indicted-russian-hackers-mueller/




Oh come on, guys! Nothing good has the words “IRA” associated with it! And this begs the question – which came first? The troller or the trollee? And if you troll the trollers, does that make you a troll as well? But hey! You know foreign elections aren’t the only thing Russia has targeted. They’re also going after hockey games!

GANGNEUNG, South Korea — Russia's presence at the Pyeongchang Olympics — technically the Olympic Athletes from Russia, as named by the IOC — has been controversial.

It continues to be.

On Friday Russian President Vladimir Putin made an appearance ... well, his likeness did.

During a game between Slovenia and Russian athletes, fans in one corner of the Gangneung Hockey Centre unfurled two large banners featuring Putin’s face.

After around 10 minutes, arena security and police intervened and the banners were rolled up.

One read, “No one is stronger than Russia in winter sports,” and the other seemed to be a message of support from Korean practitioners of the Russian martial art of sambo. It wasn’t immediately clear who had brought them in.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/winter-olympics-2018/2018/02/16/vladimir-putin-likeness-disappears-russia-slovenia-hockey-game/344305002/


?noredirect

You know what else Russia is the home of? It’s the home of an Olympic doping scandal that got the whole country disqualified from multiple games. And you know what? They’re doing it again! I mean you can’t keep a good addict from doing their thing!

GANGNEUNG, South Korea — Fans of curling at the PyeongChang Winter Olympics describe the sport as cerebral, calculating and generally genteel. If you're wanting feats of physicality, they say, head over to the mountain for freestyle skiing.

However, Monday's announcement that Russian curler Alexander Krushelnitsky — the winner of a bronze medal last week with wife Anastasia Bryzgalova in the mixed-doubles competition — is suspected of doping after failing a preliminary drug test has sent shockwaves through a sport not commonly associated with scandal.

"It's a little different than like cross country or something where you're going full whirl all the time. There's more finesse and you don't always need your brute strength," American curler Matt Hamilton, who beat Russia in a mixed-doubles round at these games but failed to medal, told "Today."
https://www.nbcnews.com/storyline/winter-olympics-2018/russian-curler-who-won-olympic-medal-suspected-doping-puts-sport-n849336




Oh and come on it’s curling! It’s the only sport where your opponent can literally quit and walk off the court in the middle of the match! Just… fuck it, I’m done! Speaking of that, even Russians themselves are sick of the election meddling scandal and wish it would go away. Well, they kind of brought it on themselves.

Russians aren't laughing their anythings off.

The day after President Trump tweeted about Russians "laughing their asses off" in response to American investigations of tampering in the 2016 presidential election, the Kremlin on Monday reacted with a distinct lack of hilarity to the indictments of 13 Russians in connection with carrying out an illegal "information warfare" campaign.

"First of all, we didn't see any substantial evidence of someone interfering in their domestic affairs," Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov told reporters on a conference call. "We still insist such evidence lacks foundation."

For many Russians, the U.S. accusations have simply become tiresome. Many dismiss the idea that their government could be powerful enough to weaken American democratic institutions.
http://www.latimes.com/world/europe/la-fg-russia-indictments-20180219-story.html




[font size="6"]The Verdict & Scorecard[/font]

I’d say how I really feel about Russia but come on we’re not going to judge the people of this country based on how shitty their leaders are! I mean what would that make us?

Tourism: C
Culture: A
Political Spectrum: D-
Liberal Appeal: D-

Overall: D-

[font size="6"]Next Week[/font]

This is it! Next week is the very last World Tour stop ever! We are officially going to retire this bit forever, but before we do – we are going to do something unprecedented. Yes, we are going to put our own country through our World Tour filter – and we are coming home to visit the United States!


[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Future[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, representing the ATL, his latest album is called “HNDRXX”. Playing his song called “Mask Off”, give it up for the one, the only Future!





Yeah how about that?

See you next week!

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