General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsBREAKING: White House receives NEW letter from 9-year-old Dylan, whose nickname is "Pickle."
NO LINK YET, BREAKING NEWS.
This is your friend, Dylan. I am writing because I am very upset that the FBI is trying to hurt you by leaking and collecting pensions. My mom always told me that good things shouldn't happen to bad people. You have worked so hard all of your life and you deserve all of the money you have gotten as President. I cried for three full days until my mom finally asked what was wrong. I told her that someone on fake news said that you weren't getting paid to be President. Then she wiped my eyes and gave me a cookie (chocolate chip, my favorite) and said that you were still making millions of dollars every minute from your businesses, and that your tax cuts went mostly to people like you and your family. I was so happy I that I cried again, but these were GOOD tears! I love you, but I also love Mrs. Trump, and your beautiful children Don Jr, Eric, Ivanka, and Barron. I think there is one more I forgot, but I can never remember her name, just like you!
I am also happy that the bad man in the FBI is getting NO money! He should ask to receive his money and then give it to YOU for doing such a wonderful job in making America GREAT again!
My mom also won't tell me what a "porn star" is. My friends in school said you "railed" a "porn star," and I don't know what "railed" is either. I think it means you took her on a train. If you did, how kind and generous of you. You give, and keep on giving until it hurts. I just don't know what you gave the porn star, and if it hurt when you gave it to her, or what a porn star even is.
I like Mr. Sessions a lot! He's as tall as me! People say you want to fire him, but I hope you don't. When I watch him on TV, he makes me feel so good about myself, knowing that there is a future in America for people who are only three feet tall!
I love you so much that I have cried 9 times while writing this letter! I feel like I'm going to cry again, but before I do, please make sure you send the FBI man to jail for a long time for saying bad things about you.
I also love the lady who tells your stories every day, Sarah. She reminds me of my nanny. She also reads me stories every day and then I poop and take a nap. When I poop, I think of you too. Some day I will be rich like you and will only poop on gold toilets too!
Thank you for being my friend, and please say hello to Mrs. Trump if she is still there. My mom said she would be leaving soon.
I love you President Trump,
Pickle
magicarpet
(14,113 posts)...... but Pickles thinks just like tRdump's base. A bit of an avaricious pig.... but seems like a real sweet kid. Oh I failed to mention.... he seems like a Fascist fuck just like his hero "The Donald". God Bless his Nazi little heart.
:middle finger:
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(flip the bird emoji)
Mz Pip
(27,430 posts)Its too funny and too snarky to actually be written by a 9 year old.
Miles Archer
(18,837 posts)magicarpet
(14,113 posts)Miles Archer
(18,837 posts)onethatcares
(16,161 posts)You sounded just like my 58 year old brother in that letter. You're not him, are you?
Miles Archer
(18,837 posts)trueblue2007
(17,189 posts)Miles Archer
(18,837 posts)Lucinda
(31,170 posts)lame54
(35,259 posts)eppur_se_muova
(36,247 posts)ProudLib72
(17,984 posts)Damn you, there cannot be two Pickles on DU!
https://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=10359762
I didn't try as hard as you, though.
Miles Archer
(18,837 posts)...although I see both "Pickles" have unresolved issues with porn stars...
Shaddox
(384 posts)onecent
(6,096 posts)LeftishBrit
(41,202 posts)magicarpet
(14,113 posts).... but it was his seven year old sister who actually authored it. She is a spitting image of Ivanka tRdump.
:satire:
Rstrstx
(1,399 posts)I'm sure it's entirely unrelated