BREAKING NEWS: George Soros to declare bankruptcy.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

Sources close to the Hungarian-American billionaire say that he grossly underestimated the amount of individuals who ultimately attended last week's March for Our Lives and as a result was unable to meet payroll demands.

"He was already hurting following the Women's March in January," one individual close to Soros told the press. "He was hoping that there would be subdued support for the March for Our Lives so that he would have enough to cover the Nobody is Above the Law protests after Robert Mueller is fired, but those darn kids just wiped him completely out."

Once Soros re-emerges from bankruptcy, he is expected to focus strictly on lower profile protests, such as the recent decision by the Coles County, Illinois Board of Education to remove soda machines from all school properties.

Details at Eleven.

[NCTraveler]

1. Solid. Nt

[DownriverDem]

71. I get it, but

The right hates Soros and don't care that they have their rich donors (Koch brothers & Mercers). Did you know the Pirate's owner, Kraft, lent one of the team's planes to bring the Parkland victims families, some wounded victims and those students speaking at the rally to DC? He wrote them a very nice letter from the team that was placed on every seat in the plane. I love it.

[NCTraveler]

73. I dont get your but.

I don’t see how it flows from the satire or is reflective of my comment “solid”.

I don’t see the right winger Kraft mentioned in the satire or any other connection.

[hlthe2b]

2. some of your satire is outright funny.. this one, to me, misses the mark. Keep trying, though

[rtracey]

34. ugggg really

This is one of the funniest I've read......the hilarious aspect that every GOP turd thinks every demonstration by the democrats is a SOROS PAID venture....... sorry you missed the point..

[hlthe2b]

37. 'guess it is too spot on for what the RW is spewing and thus pushes my buttons...

[rtracey]

57. too me

too me thats the funny part..... its too spot on.

[GetRidOfThem]

49. I beg to differ...

...I liked it. Because the headline really fooled you, but after the first sentence of the story line you already picked up what is going on.

[jpak]

3. Oh NOOoooossss!!!!111

[pamdb]

4. George Sorors

JOKE!!!! ...right?

[Adrahil]

5. Well done, sir. Yas got me!

[Stuart G]

10. Got me too...at least the first paragraph got me....Then the last few words of the first paragraph..

turned on the lite bulb....this is satire, not true..no not true, Mr. Stu...


but you still got me for a while....so a hattip for you...

[Glamrock]

6. That. Was. Great!

Laughed out loud! Thanks Tommy!

[Baitball Blogger]

7. And the right will be spreading this post as truth in

3,2...

[HipChick]

8. You got me..!

[demmiblue]

9. Lol! K&R

[Freddie]

11. Must be why my latest check bounced!

[lastlib]

69. You got a check??!? Dayum--how did I miss payroll??

[louis-t]

12. Giggety.

Funny stuff.

[gratuitous]

13. Fake news! That's not the reason at all

Soros is declaring bankruptcy in a brazen bid to appeal to Trump voters.

[mountain grammy]

14. Onion? Whatever, very funny!

[Cary]

15. Ha!

I needed that laugh. Thank you.

[LiberalLovinLug]

16. Brilliant!

[bucolic_frolic]

17. This seems to me Right Wing Satire

What's it doing here?

[askyagerz]

19. Its left wing sarcasm.

[Dave Starsky]

24. It's a satire on what they're literally saying on Fox News.

Supposedly, George Soros is paying for all of this protesting. They really believe that.

This is making fun of that.

[RhodeIslandOne]

27. Not really

If you accept the premise that George Soros paying people to demonstrate is tin foil nuttery, you can further laugh at the idea he would be going bankrupt to pay millions of people to protest. (People who of course are protesting on their own time and dime)

[bucolic_frolic]

29. Well thanks

It's sorta understandable to me. I guess one has to understand the satire is directed at Fox and not at George.

Thanks, I can be slow at times.

[annabanana]

40. satire doesn't come naturally to some people. .

(genetic?)

[whopis01]

41. No - it would be Right Wing false claims

or Left Wing Satire.

If the Right Wing said it, they wouldn't be satirical about it. They would be making false claims and trying to get others to believe it.

[JohnnyRingo]

18. Kick

[Blue_true]

20. Yes, $500 per head and free lodging and meals add up fast.

[Dave Starsky]

25. Not to mention the dental plan.

And the subsidized membership to Planet Fitness.

[Scalded Nun]

21. Excellent

[Glorfindel]

22. Well done, Mr. Carcetti! Bravo!

You got me good.

[Chipper Chat]

23. Fox should win a Pulitzer for this one.

Imagine all those kids lying about not being paid by George. Kudos to Fox for uncovering the truth.

[malaise]

26. Too good

[geardaddy]

28. Well done.

[debsy]

30. Bravo, indeed!

I've always been called somewhat gullible... Thanks for the laugh.

[Nevernose]

31. People call me a paradox

I’m constantly, compulsively making jokes and always giggling. I’m known in my circle of friends and coworkers as “the funny one.” What’s paradoxical is that, while I usually find a way to smile, giggle, or chuckle, I never really laugh.

This post, though? 110 decibel belly laugh, straight from the gut and from the heart. I suspected it was going to be a joke post, but this was truly hilarious.

You need to consider freelancing for The Onion or something. Making written comedy “work” is true a talent.

[old guy]

32. Damn. You made me look.

[NRaleighLiberal]

33. Brilliantly played!

[ConnorMarc]

35. Hahahahahahahaha!!!

I'm using this.

...hope you don't mind.

[PurgedVoter]

36. This is going to make managing my checkbook much harder.

Great, now I am going to have to depend on my checks for maintaining the moon landing hoax and convincing people the earth is round.

I probably need to start defending climate change to make up the difference.

[Jim Lane]

64. Get your bus driver's license.

In November there will be openings for driving illegal immigrants around to different polling places.

[stonecutter357]

38. K&R

[annabanana]

39. Oh, VERY good! This explains the recording that I got when I called for my pay:

"The check is in the mail"

[magicarpet]

42. Poor Mr. Soros...

.... maybe he could hook up with Stormy and they could make porn movies together. Word is... there is good money to be made in cinema.

[DinahMoeHum]

43. Bwahahahahaa!!!!

Good one!

[njhoneybadger]

44. Dam it to hell I knew that would happen

[red dog 1]

45. You got me!

Even though there was no link, I thought it was real until I got to the last paragraph.

Good one!

[Fritz Walter]

46. Wishful thinking

Hey, Faux Gnus:

Why don’t you try wishing in one hand and crapping in the other? See which one fills up faster!

[muntrv]

47. Send this to Trump TeeVee. See how far they run with this story.

[Enoki33]

48. Assumed this came from Hannity.

[BlueStater]

50. If he did really go bankrupt, who would become their new bogeyman?

I guess they'd just have to find some other super rich guy to blame for the existence of all Trump critics.

[marble falls]

51. Sometimes you knock 'em outa the park and sometimes its a swing and a whiff...

Better luck next time, at least you gave it a swing.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

54. Eh, I tried. I threw out this satire piece in the middle of working on Rykov research.

Which is definitely not satire.

[marble falls]

56. Sounds too much like an employment situation to me. I'm alergic.

[Eliot Rosewater]

52. B R I L L I A N T

[underpants]

53. Stop. It.

[LeftinOH]

55. This needs to be meme'd and sent out into the ether...

..so that the Trumpsters will fall for it, and spread it even more. Lord knows, they never research anything. Just make it look like a sort-of official news piece. Trolling those twits is good sport.

[BobTheSubgenius]

58. Comical and clever.

I, for one, liked it right away - "right away" being the tiny interval or time I read the first para and it dawned on me.

[stage left]

59. Damn.

I guess I'm never gonna get paid then.

[yonder]

60. Ya got me, hook, line and sinker

through the first paragraph. The second was like, "waitaminute, whaaaat" as I'm searching for The Onion link. The light came on, with a big smile by the third. I'm slow.

good one, thanks

[IronLionZion]

61. That bankruptcy qualifies him to run for president

unless he needs a reality TV show first

[dreamland]

62. I'm sure it wasn't easy finding all those child actors

[PatrickforO]

63. OK...took awhile, but I get it now.

Like most really brilliant satire, this is...really brilliant!

Because hey, everyone knows that every time there is a demonstration by regular people demanding something from the powers that be that will actually help them, like gun control, ALL of the demostrators are ALWAYS on the payroll of Soros. Because no rational American would be thoughtful enough to march for things like gun control, women's rights, etc.

Nope!

[chia]

65. You had me looking for the Borowitz link. Well done, you.

[Gothmog]

66. I love good satire

[Dopers_Greed]

67. Brilliant

Got me

[AwakeAtLast]

68. This is gonna be shared on my Facebook feed anytime now

By some idiotic Repuke who doesn't know satire from Fat Tire. Thanks a lot!

[Sunsky]

70. Damn

It was that kids march wasn't it? When I saw the crowd, I knew there was no way he'd be able to pay for all of that.

[Nitram]

72. Oh, snap!

[Tommy_Carcetti]

74. Thank you everyone for all the recs! And while I have you, a completely shameful self-promotion!

Do you enjoy satire?


Great! I'm glad you do.

Unfortunately, this next thing isn't satire. But it is a fascinating read.

Part One and Two of my introspective on Kremlin Propagandist Konstantin Rykov and his role in the 2016 Presidential Election:

Part One: https://www.democraticunderground.com/100210416264

Part Two: https://www.democraticunderground.com/100210416302


At least two more parts to come.

[NastyRiffraff]

75. Love it!

I have no doubt that some Republicans will take it seriously, which makes it even funnier!