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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsA Letter to Asian Girls by Caroline Wang
Editors Note: Caroline Wang is a Chinese-Australian university student living and studying in Melbourne. The views expressed in this piece are solely her own. This piece was originally published in Et Cetera, an Australian student publication, and republished with permission.
Have you ever wanted to wake up white?
A few years ago, I was on a date. It was 11pm; we were in the city and walking back to his place. My date, who later became my boyfriend, is a charming and intelligent African Australian, deeply attuned to his own racial identity as you would have to be growing up brown in Australia. I am an Asian-Australian woman.
It was our third date. We were on Lonsdale Street when a group of loud, drunk white men stumbled in front of us. One of them turned to my partner and whisper-shouted, Congratulations man, you got an Asian girl! How did you get an Asian girl? Youre Black.
We looked at each other and kept walking. We were silent on the way home.
Outside his apartment, he turned to me and asked: Is there anything you want me to say? When people call me the n-word on the street, there are certain words I want to hear from my friends. Is there anything I can do?
More silence. I didnt have an answer for him.
The night crawled. I told him, Nothing. Dont do anything, I dont expect anything. Im used to it.
What I couldnt tell him was that time I was eight-years-old and a white middle-aged man approached me in the supermarket. I was picking carrots for my mother when he told me,
continues...
https://nextshark.com/letter-asian-girls/
lunasun
(21,646 posts)"I get angry when I see people I knew from primary and high school Instagram their photos of dumplings, at the night noodle markets posing with their bao and duck pancakes.
You used to call my food weird and gross and smelly but now that dumplings are popular, now that white people have decided that my mothers food is worth eating, I should just get over my anger, forget how I was teased, isolated and made to feel like nothing."
tazkcmo
(7,300 posts)I don't have any words to express the emotions aroused by reading this.
yuiyoshida
(41,831 posts)maybe I misjudged DU.
Skittles
(153,142 posts)you are appreciated by lots of DUers, yuiyoshida - maybe we all needed a reminder
procon
(15,805 posts)so interesting that they stopped in to read what you have to say, that's much more than most threads get, you know? Don't overlook all your silent fans, we're here!
mahina
(17,640 posts)Thank you for sharing this excellent perspective. Ill look for more work from the author.
Aloha Yuiyoshida.
zipplewrath
(16,646 posts)I think you might be surprised how much more attention it gets during the day.
tazkcmo
(7,300 posts)My young Padawan.
JuJuYoshida
(2,215 posts)Something that hits home, I love you. We stick together honey.
yuiyoshida
(41,831 posts)Civic Justice
(870 posts)I think Asian women are naturally beautiful as God made them be, they are as unique in Ethnicity Beauty as Is All Human Beings of All Ethnicity are made to be unique and beautiful as they are. NONE of Any Ethnicity should never measure their imagery by "white image standard".
Here in America, the long history of society trying to measure Black People, Asian People, Latin People and Others by white image standards is a process that truly needs to find its end !!!!!
I am sadden by black women who wear these wigs with hair that is like white peoples hair, or other kind of hair weaved into their heads. God made them beautiful as they are, and their natural hair is of the beauty that God made them.
The media imagery which is predominantly whites has promoted this based on the history of fiction and delusion of white superiority and the intentional exclusion of other Races and Ethnicity with the media depictions. .....And even when they put black people in commercials, the incessant aim to make sure they look as mixed race (light skin) as they can find, does not serve the element of diversity in full. Black people both mixed race and none mixed, are all beautiful. The other element of 'white people concept of stereotyped "character depictions", is itself a means and methods that result to insult other races and ethnicity, as if they are expected to fit the stereotyped character depictions based on white peoples concepts.
There have been recent entertainer who have take offense as "being photo-shopped to lighten their skin in magazine covers',
The fact is, that "all races are beautiful".... some ethnicities hold their skin texture longer than others, and this too is Gods doing in the creation of the Races.
I watched in some Asian countries I visited the mass volume of "skin lightening creams"... and it was perplexing, because their natural skin in the various shades within their ethnicity, are all beautiful.
I often women why women of any ethnicity become manipulated by "commercial advertisement and promotions" with full on knowledge that its "staged imagery" to fit with the fictions of often time lustful fantasy, more than it address the natural beauty of people. They go so far as to use the youthful bodies of early teens, to send out a message of delusion about the natural nature and realism of women's bodies.
People are influenced by the Depictions Pushed by Media, it has been that fiction of "imagery" for centuries, when fact is, the "character of people matters greatly".. All during slavery, people dressed in attire that was suppose to convey via image a character which did not exist in truth. It tried to promote a image as if it supported or denoted dignity, and it too was false, as these were the same people, who would retreat to home, indulge in every vile of slavery, from rape to torture, and every kind of abuse that is a horror to even imagine.
The aim of trying to force feed "image standards" is a madness that was spread about the world, with the same indignities that the imperialist encroachments upon people demonstrated the vile of malice, vanity and greed among the things that promoted an incessant stream of acts of inhumanity upon and against other people.
Today, as the younger generation take hold of the world, they will "dispel" all this madness that has plagued societies for centuries. The Liberal Minded Young People of Today and Into the Future will acknowledge the naturalness of beauty in all Ethnicity and Races of people.
We should all Thank God for the Amazing Beauty of This Diversity.
I would hope the young people as they gain control in the media and other elements of society, began to promote "diversity in full scope in its commercialized depictions'....
Sadly, for white people, who measure each other by the "media commercial imagery", continue to find much malice and mayhem within their society, as they base their trust upon how one another fits the image of media depictions, they suffer now from widespread 'bullying" based on judging each other by "media depictions of imagery, as well as what of material things they see such imagery associated with"... it has made so much of a "external and materialistic measure', until the quality of character has suffered and mayhem of unimaginable consequences escalates in astronomical frequency and a continual cycle.
Thus so, such elements as "imagery measurements" is a "vile upon society", that has led to extreme vanity, and every kind of evil to acquire material measurement things. the vanity has attacked and is destroying the natural esteems of life, even as people age, many become lost and disassociated unto their natural self. They claim every type of psychological affliction to every manner of addictive self destructive consumption's, until they destroy the elements of their natural beauty.
This madness of "Media Depicted Influences of White Imagery Measurement" damages society, and it too damages white people in ways, they may not even be fully aware to consider.
yuiyoshida
(41,831 posts)Civic Justice
(870 posts)People talked about black people lips, but now many are out trying to get "lip injections', people talked about black people butts and yet, people are out trying to get "butt injections".. People talk about Asian peoples eyes, yet, people put on eye liner trying to make their eyes appear similar to the natural of Asian peoples eyes.
Today, look at the mass of people who now "dye their hair dark", as opposed to decades ago, people were dying their hair blond.
People once looked at Asian food as a novelty, now they find the natural ingredient they use is actually healthy, people talked about black people and various foods from greens to black eyed pea's... yet, the natural grown vegetables their ancestry was raised on was the same foods they make joke of, and people talk about black people and Fried Chicken, yet, there is Fried Chicken eaten by a mass of ethnicities and have been for centuries.
There was and is ridicule of how black people talk, yet, the culture of the environments across America has many variations of how people talk.
What may be a point to consider, is: when anyone has such incessant effort and acts to try and put others down, it demonstrate their desperation to try and uplift themselves by pushing others down, such is a weaker minded person, who has no sense of true place of self, and they are consumed in vanity to the point they need to make negative measure of others.
What anyone looks like is "ALWAYS" in a constant state of change, because time does not stop and as time passes so does the process of aging take place.
Be not diminished in self concept and self value by the ignorance of others. One need not buy into that nature of vanity. The true self is the reality of ones gift of life, and the quality of character is what one works to develop and improve in the ongoing of living. The nature of ones dignity, is the upholding of the values that support ones character, and thus so, their beauty can flow in its naturalness of ones self.
nolabels
(13,133 posts)we are in or surrounded by. I kind of think it should be studied more. People needing to be trendsetters for good, bad or indifference I often try to keep an eye on.
I also like to notice if they have somehow borrowed or adapted an idea or a problem solver tool from someone else or have something totally unique. Something that makes things quicker or life simpler often make bigger ripples
Wanting and needing acceptance from peers, family, society, and culture can also be a heartless and demeaning grind. And to what end and degree we need to do that can be difficult in determining without the input of our compadres.
We are all being played in one way or another (mostly willingly) all the time from all of it, ....this thing we call society.
A fun new concept I just got to learn about from link
by Carl Samson March 27, 2018
There is a kind of love unique to Korea, something that Koreans themselves find difficult to explain.
But for starters, jeong encompasses subjects such as affection, compassion, and sympathy. As Dr. Christopher K. Chung and Dr. Samson Cho of UCLA put it:
Jeong is difficult to define. One Korean-English dictionary defines it as feeling, love, sentiment, passion, human nature, sympathy, heart. Although it is complicated to introduce a clear definition of jeong, it seems to include all of the above as well as more basic feelings, such as attachment, bond, affection, or even bondage.
In a conceptualization study, they described its definition as both simple and complex
https://nextshark.com/jeong-korea-unique-kind-love-extremely-difficult-explain-foreigners/
IronLionZion
(45,419 posts)immigrant parents of course will never understand. My parents claim they don't know why I refuse to cook Indian food in my small apartment. It's because I don't want my carpet and clothes to smell like curry, not because I hate myself and my people. When anyone of any race feels that I must be an H-1b or work in IT I set them straight in a way that makes them publicly uncomfortable so they won't make that mistake again. Most millennials understand I'm from America. Most immigrants refuse to accept it and some older folks struggle with it.
I can't relate to the creepy sexual stuff. That's inexcusable and unacceptable to do to anyone, let alone a child. It should be a crime if it isn't already. I've experienced quite the opposite where people repeatedly assured me I'll die a virgin or have an arranged marriage or both simultaneously, like Schrodinger's cat.
Being the only one of your type is a tough situation for any type of person. Nowadays there should be enough Asian children of immigrants to seek out like minded friends to better deal with such issues and discuss experiences. I've mentored young folks in my career who had been told complete lies about false limitations on career choices in the US government if your parents are immigrants and your grandparents live in another country. Complete BS is swirling all around us and can be cut through easily with some quick googling on government sites to get the official policies. Obama appointed a lot of government leaders who look like me.
yuiyoshida
(41,831 posts)blake2012
(1,294 posts)But Obamas clarion call was heard by millions of teens and twenty somethings. His clear voice is why Parkland students speak out politically.
Kennedy engaged a whole new young generation to make their world a better place and now Obama has been and is continuing to do so.
Fun that his role is now community organizer again.
I heard a great story on KQED this morning about the March of Latinos in Morgan Hill holding a cross. They marched all the way to the cathedral in San Jose to protest anti-immigrant sentiments in the early 1990s. Many young from that generation witnessed the activism for that cause and are now active under Trump.
blake2012
(1,294 posts)Skittles
(153,142 posts)WhiskeyGrinder
(22,318 posts)mythology
(9,527 posts)Whether it's race or gender or sexual orientation etc. And people can be unbelievably stupid and petty and cruel, particularly when speaking from a position of power/safety.
But I believe over time we are on average getting better. Not necessarily linearly so (see Trump), but we are getting closer to the day when a woman could be elected president, we've seen a black man elected president, we have the Me Too movement and a younger population that is more diverse than ever. It's already taken too long, but we are moving toward a better place I think.
yuiyoshida
(41,831 posts)I am seeing far too much of that reflected even here at DU. I am considering my option to leave.
blake2012
(1,294 posts)MicaelS
(8,747 posts)I always enjoy your posts. This is a heart-wrenching story from this woman. I have always thought Asian women beautiful.
tazkcmo
(7,300 posts)Please don't leave. I really enjoy your music videos and other posts like this one! You teach me and other DUers so much about Japanese culture, trends and other stuff that I would never know about other wise. In short, we need you.
RobinA
(9,888 posts)you are looking for?
nolabels
(13,133 posts)The loud and boisterous are often the ones that get heard but the ones that whisper are often the ones that get listened to.
Some would say its happening too fast, the truth to power, the anyway you can get there movement, the me-too movement. the anytime you can belong movement. But I am with you on it, I declare I am with the "Why are we not there yet?" movement
RobinA
(9,888 posts)is good at dealing with difference.
AnotherDreamWeaver
(2,850 posts)And thank Skittles for posting the link in your newer thread. I usually just read posts on the Greatest page.
When in the Navy I was stationed in Okinawa and Japan and loved the culture. Went to a Worlds Fair in Osaka and the Peace Park in Hiroshima. Enjoyed the students who would say "please sir, may I practice english" and I would talk with them.
Yours is a name I often click on to see what you have brought to share. I just don't post often, but get all my news from DU.
Take care,
ADW
Skittles
(153,142 posts)I have a blast doing it
I also think it's amusing when they IM me asking stuff like what does FOOBER mean (um, that was FUBAR; go ahead and google )
AnotherDreamWeaver
(2,850 posts)Skittles
(153,142 posts)AnotherDreamWeaver
(2,850 posts)or letters to look up.
If my memory serves me well, it was reading Catch 22 I first heard it.
Skittles
(153,142 posts)sheshe2
(83,728 posts)Thank you for posting it.
BTW, we are stronger together against the likes of trump and his ilk. They are the white male privileged party..it is time for them to go. I much prefer diversity.
Lee-Lee
(6,324 posts)I grew up mixed Fillipina, Native American and now I know thanks to DNA a good amounts African American too.
But half Filipina was what stood out mostly. And growing up in a southern mill town that meant I was the outsider. I wasnt white and not good enough for the white girls. I wasnt black and was at best on the outside looking in during the times I tried to hang with them. I found my place mostly among the other who didnt fit in, the Latinas and other Asians but there were few of us.
I was the dark skinned girl it was ok for the white boys to date. As long as they explained I was Asian, not black, to people....
The bane of my existence throughout high school was Full Metal Jacket. As soon as that movie came out the few Asian females in the school received s relentless stream of Me so horny and Me love you long time.
NewJeffCT
(56,828 posts)Makes me think back to high school - I grew up in a small town that was almost all white at the time. There were a handful of African American kids, but no Hispanic kids and no Asian kids. (This was 1970s and into the mid 80s when I graduated high school)
However, once I hit high school in the early 80s, we did have a family move to town that were originally from Hong Kong. I don't remember the details, but I'm pretty sure they moved from somewhere else in the US before moving to my town in Connecticut, as I don't remember any accents. The girl was a year or two behind me and her brother was in middle school when they came there.
I would imagine the girl's experience was similar to the young woman in the article, which would have been horrible. I was too painfully shy to talk to any girl in high school on a social basis. I remember her brother was a good athlete, though, and found acceptance by doing well with basketball and baseball.
My wife is Chinese, though, and grew up in China and didn't move to the US until she came here to get a 2nd master's degree. So, she did not experience the angsty teenage years here in the US., nor did she ever have reservations speaking Chinese in public when on the phone or dealing with other Chinese socially or for business. And, I know my family likes her a lot more than they did my white ex-wife (and, that was true even before we married)