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Wed Apr 4, 2018, 02:00 PM

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #4-12: Wheel Of Corruption & The Goblet Of Fire Edition

Last edited Wed Apr 4, 2018, 02:47 PM - Edit history (1)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #4-12: Wheel Of Corruption & The Goblet Of Fire Edition

Ed. Note - due to a scheduling conflict, the Top 10 will be posted early today! Also I won't be able to get to the YouTube shooting and the oh-so-predictable RW reactions to that, since it happened at the time we were putting together this week's edition, but we will cover it in full next week. In the meantime, our good friends at Right Wing Watch do a good job of covering the worst of it: http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/these-are-some-of-the-worst-right-wing-reactions-to-the-shooting-at-youtube-hq/ And now back to our regularly scheduled programming! Enjoy!

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Sign up now and get a free iPhone 8 on us! We are back everybody! I want to start by saying I am not going to talk about the craze of condom snorting – yes that’s a thing. And it’s as disgusting as it sounds. What? You see the wheel here on stage, I got my sous chef Fernando coming, I would like to hang onto the contents of my stomach thanks! Yeah fuck that story and everyone who participates in that horrifically disgusting act. No, fuck them! Seriously! Let’s move on to much happier news. Congratulations to the Villanova Wildcats for winning the NCAA tournament this year. Michigan Wolverines, you put up a good fight, and you can rest assured that you will not have to go to the White House to meet Trump. Yeah remember when we had a president who wasn’t a complete jackass? Those were good times. And you know this might be one of the most insane NCAA tournaments I’ve ever seen. You had ups, you had downs. You had highs. You had lows. You had lows getting beaten by highs. You had highs getting beaten by lows. You had 98 year old nuns. There was a number 1 seed getting upset by a number 16 seed. And Duke lost. But all in all this was also one of the best NCAA tournaments I’ve ever seen. It sucks for Sister Jean, I mean America was really pulling for a win for Loyola Chicago because of her. I mean who wouldn’t want to see a 98 year old nun watch her team win it all for the first time. And one of my favorite things about the NCAA tournament is how many crazy prizes are offered every year for someone who completes the proverbial “perfect bracket”, I mean come on. NOBODY HAS DONE THIS, OK!!!! You have a better shot of winning the Powerball than you do getting a perfect bracket! And both of those have some incredibly insane odds. But hey they’re all like religion – you can’t get saved if you don’t play! So seriously stop offering a billion dollars if someone gets a perfect bracket. All you’re doing is just getting our e-mail addresses so you can hawk your crap. Stop it. Just stop it. OK enough of the intro. We got a lot of idiocy to get to. But first you got to see John Oliver’s epic smackdown of Sinclair Broadcasting:

In the first slot this week is Gun Nut Apologists (1). They’re getting desperate folks, and Parkland survivor David Hogg is really getting to them. Taking the second slot this week is Roseanne (2). Yes the star of the hit sitcom revival is a conservative idiot – and has been posting bullshit on Twitter, and attracted the attention of our ratings-obsessed president. In the third slot is said ratings-obsessed president Donald J. Trump (3). Taking the 4th slot this week is also Donald Trump (4) because there was yet another Trump firing. And that means another installment of the Trumper games! Taking the 5th slot, we’ve got a new installment of “People Who Somehow Got Elected” and this week – we’re finally going to add Wisconsin governor Scott Walker (5) to the list! In the 6th slot, is the latest installment of our investigative journalism series “Top 10 Investigates” (6) and this week we’re going to Victorville, California to visit a massive automotive boneyard. And when you find out why it’s there, it’s truly fascinating. Taking the 7th slot, we’ve got of course our weekly sermon of all things holy, Holy Shit (7), and this week, our resident pastor is going to predict the future since Christian republicans have already called the 2020 election! In the number 8 slot this week, we're going to educate you on an insane right wing conspiracy theory known as "The Storm" which has been popping up in the news a lot lately thanks to Roseanne and Sinclair Broadcasting, but what is it? You will soon find out. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot we’ve got a new installment of “I Need A Drink” and this time we’re going to get drunk and discuss one of the more bizarre rules of professional hockey. What other sport has a reserve goalie rule? Well this dude nailed it! And finally this week we’re live from the Gila River Arena in sunny Phoenix, Arizona with Week 3 of Round 1 of our Stupidest State (10) tournament of champions! This time around, the casino moguls in Nevada are going for broke against Koch Industries in Wisconsin, while Florida is bringing their big guns to the dance against Louisiana! Plus we’ve got some live music for you from Portland’s finest, the Decemberists! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Gun Nut Apologists
[br] [/font]

Hey everybody! It’s time for the WHEEL OF CORRUPTION!!! Yay!!!!

Of course you know the rules by now – I spin the wheel and we have to talk about whatever it lands on. Of course if it lands on the guacamole option, you know that it costs $1.50 extra. So here’s what is on the wheel this week:

- Guns
- Abortion
- Crime
- Poverty
- Chance
- 5,000
- Infowars
- Nazis
- Go Directly To Jail
- Buy A Vowel
- North Korea
- Lawsuits
- Whammy
- Donald Trump
- People Are Dumb
- ‘Merica!
- How Is This Still A Thing?
- A Random Tweet
- 10,000
- Community Chest
- Talk Shows
- Clip Without Context
- Something Random In The News
- Fox News
- Top 10 Investigates
- Polls
- Chance
- Nukes
- Protests
- Intermission
- 15,000
- Bankrupt
- Golf
- The GOP
- Butter Beer
- Community Chest
- Florida (Obviously)
- This Fucking Guy
- Beating A Dead Horse
- Holy Shit
- Guacamole ($1.50 Extra)
- Harry Potter
- T-Shirt Cannon
- ? (Mystery Item)
- I Need A Drink
- Lightning Round
- Bonus Spin

Let’s get this going! Spin that shit! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy stop! And it lands on… clip without context!

There you have it – only in the Trump era could he be giving a speech next to a guy in a giant bunny costume with a shocked look on his face. Spin it again! Guns. Folks. Really, is this where we are at in 2018? Attacking high school students? I mean come on this is fucking insane. The gun nuts just can’t stand that someone is attacking their precious death toys. I’m of course talking about the David Hogg – Laura Ingraham feud. Here’s what happened.

At least 17 major companies have now announced that they are pulling their sponsorship of Laura Ingraham’s Fox News program because of a Wednesday tweet by the anchor widely seen as mocking Parkland, Florida, school shooting survivor David Hogg.

On Friday, Byron Allen’s Entertainment Studios — whose upcoming Teddy Kennedy film “Chappaquiddick” had been promoted frequently during “The Ingraham Angle” in recent weeks — announced on Twitter that it “had pulled all Chappaquiddick ads” from the show.

The studio joined at least eight other companies on Friday in stopping ads on the show after Hogg’s Wesdnesday night call for a boycott of sponsors. Other Friday walkouts included Liberty Mutual, Office Depot, Miracle-Ear, Jenny Craig, Principal investment group, Honda, Ruby Tuesday and Atlantis resort.

That’s right! You don’t insult high school students! Especially someone with a media connection and who was the victim of a mass shooting attack! But Laura Ingraham wasn’t the only conservative attacking David Hogg this week. I give you rock music singer and guy who most likely wears adult diapers, Ted Nugent.

(CNN)National Rifle Association board member and classic rocker Ted Nugent slammed survivors of the Parkland, Florida, school shooting, calling them "liars" and "poor, mushy-brained children."

Nugent made the comments during an interview on "The Joe Pags Show," a nationally syndicated conservative radio program.

"All you have to do now is not only feel sorry for the liars, but you have to go against them and pray to God that the lies can be crushed and the liars can be silenced so that real measures can be put into place to actually save children's lives," Nugent said about the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School students.

"These poor children, I'm afraid to say this and it hurts me to say this, but the evidence is irrefutable, they have no soul," he added.

Read more: https://www.cnn.com/2018/03/31/politics/nra-member-calls-parkland-survivors-liars/index.html

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! I mean come on Ted, really, you’re calling these kids soulless? Need I remind you of what you did to get out of serving Vietnam?

In a series of tweets on Sunday, Reid recalled that Nugent had defecated in his pants to dodge the draft and had repeatedly been associated with pedophilia.

“Then a week before my physical, I stopped going to the bathroom. I did it in my pants. poop, piss the whole shot. My pants got crusted up,” Nugent told High Times in a 1977 interview. “[T]hey made everybody take off their pants, and I did, and this sergeant says, “Oh my God, put those back on! You fucking swine you!” Then they had a urine test and I couldn’t piss, But my poop was just like ooze, man, so I poop in the cup and put it on the counter. I had poop on my hand and my arm. The guy almost puked. I was so proud. I knew I had these chumps beat.”

After Reid’s mini-tweet storm, she also pointed out Nugent’s history in a segment on MSNBC.

“That is Ted Nugent who in 1977 gave an interview saying he took meth and poohed his pants so he wouldn’t have to go to Vietnam and reportedly adopted a 17-year-old girl so he could have sex with her,” she pointed out.

Yeah that was pretty much my reaction too! And then there was Sylvester Stallone’s brother and last member of Member’s Only, Frank Stallone.

Remember Frank Stallone? He’s the D-list younger brother of Sylvester Stallone who once scored a Top 10 Billboard hit in the ’80s with the ultra-cheesy ‘Far From Over,’which Sly used in his film Staying Alive. Frank was also the subject of a running gag by Saturday Night Live’s Norm McDonald during the ’90s when McDonald hosted Weekend Update.

Well, ol’ Frank is back, and he’s going after Parkland survivors because of course he is.

In a since-deleted tweet, Stallone called David Hogg a “pussy” who is getting “a little big for his britches.” He added that he was sure “someone from his age group is dying to sucker punch this rich little bitch.” Stallone finished off the tweet by claiming Hogg would “run home like the coward he is” and that the high-schooler is the “worst rep for today’s headline grabbing punk.”

This David Hogg pussy is getting a little big for his britches. I’m sure someone from his age group is dying to sucker punch this rich little bitch. Watch him run home like the coward he is . He’s the worst rep for today’s youth headline grabbing punk
— Frank Stallone (@Stallone) March 31, 2018

Read more: https://www.mediaite.com/online/sylvester-stallones-brother-calls-david-hogg-a-pssy-wants-classmates-to-sucker-punch-him/

Oh and in case you’re wondering what kind of society we live in – it’s apparently one that favors guns over, um, lives, apparently.

The NRA saw a major spike in donations following the school shooting in Parkland, Florida.

The shooting took place in February and left 17 people dead. That same month, NRA donations tripled from the month before. Federal Election Commission filings say the NRA received just under $248,000 in January. It received more than $779,000 in February.

The NRA has faced intense scrutiny since the shooting. It's not entirely clear if the donations are part of its supporters' response to that or part of a larger trend. History shows consumers display increased interest in guns and gun sales increase after mass shootings.

Some of that sales bump is likely due to fears the event will prompt stricter gun laws and make it more difficult to purchase a gun.

Oh and it gets worse from there! Some frothing at the mouth gun nut started a website dedicated exclusively to news about David Hogg, apparently so gun nuts could go harass him wherever he follows. Yeah BOOOOOOOOOO!!! Boo, I say! These idiots apparently have a screw loose.

An internet conspiracy theorist tied to Alex Jones has launched a new website dedicated to attacking gun control advocate David Hogg, and claims it’s protected by free speech.

The content on “Hoggwatch.com” features content exclusively related to the 18-year-old Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School Student, who survived the February shooting that killed 17 people.

Many of the articles are written by Mike Adams, the founder of Natural News — a bombastic website seeking to debunk widely accepted scientific theories.

But Hoggwatch.com, which began publishing stories after the Feb. 14 massacre, pushes conspiracy theories that Hogg is a paid actor who wants to shift the American ideology.

Read more: https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/conspiracy-theorist-launches-site-just-to-attack-david-hogg/ar-AAvpyEL?li=BBnbcA1

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[font size="8"]Roseanne
[br] [/font]

Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! Sweet, I win 10,000 of something. What that is, we don’t know. Spin it again! and it lands on… Poverty! So folks by now you know that the Roseanne show revival – about a blue collar, working class family that votes against their best interests – premiered to gangbuster ratings, and even got the attention of our ratings-obsessed president. You know that Trump loves him some ratings. “I have the best ratings, OK? I get nothing but 5 stars everywhere I go!”.

When “Roseanne” premiered in 1988, I was among the millions of Americans who tuned in weekly to watch the Conners navigate life in the Midwest. Although I was a kid in Los Angeles, thousands of miles from the fictional Lanford, Ill., the show’s humorous, caustic portrayal of a working-class family struggling to make ends meet resonated with me. In the show, I saw my own family’s quest for the American Dream and how, for many living in poverty, it’s often a dream deferred.

In one of my favorite episodes, Roseanne juggles paying the bills by intentionally putting the wrong check in the wrong envelope and telling the utility company the bill never came. In another, Becky is embarrassed when she learns her mother has taken a job as a shampoo girl to provide for their family. I was Becky, not quite fully grasping that we were poor or that money was in short supply. This was the genius of Roseanne — it transcended race, class and political boundaries while appearing not to do so.

The “Roseanne” reboot, rather than working to bridge the class divide and understanding in America, attempts to insert itself into the current political moment by declaring Roseanne a Donald Trump supporter. After the premiere, Trump even called the real Roseanne to congratulate her on the series reboot.

That was pretty much my reaction to the Roseanne reboot too, sir. So yes you know that our ratings-obsessed president called Roseanne to congratulate her. Which is quite amazing that Trump actually paid a compliment to somebody, we would expect him to do the opposite at this point!

RICHFIELD, Ohio —Unusually quiet for the better part of a week, President Trump let loose Thursday during an infrastructure speech that also featured presidential riffs on the border wall, the Democrats, Syria, trade, North and South Korea ... and Roseanne.

Praising the high viewership for this week's premiere of the revived Roseanne sitcom, starring Trump supporter Roseanne Barr, the president told a group of union workers in Ohio: "Look at her ratings! Look at her ratings!"

Trump trumpeted Barr's show during a speech designed to promote an infrastructure plan based on public-private partnerships and reduced federal regulations.

"We will breathe new life into your very run-down highways, railways and waterways," Trump told supportive union members. "We'll transform our roads and bridges from a source of endless frustration into a source of absolutely incredible pride."

Ah yup! There it is! There’s the Trump we all know! He just can’t stop talking about ratings, can he? I mean they’re yuge! The biggest! Nobody gets better ratings than he does! So what is the real controversy with Roseanne? Why is this show such a big deal in the Trump era? Well…

So it should come as no surprise that the new Roseanne — technically a continuation of the original series, but also a different show in some subtle ways — would reignite this old debate between where Roseanne the actress ended and Roseanne the character began. Except, because this is 2018 and everything eventually turns into a discussion about Donald Trump, the political polarity has been completely flipped. The arguments now are less about Roseanne’s bold examinations of feminism and class both on and offscreen and more about how she’s perhaps the president’s most famous supporter.

These arguments have become a vast, interlocking set of controversies that are impossible to separate, because each is necessary to understand the other. For instance, writing off Roseanne entirely — because it homogenizes Trump supporters as people just worried about their families or the country — misses the ways the series depicts Roseanne as a hectoring bully who convinced her sister, Jackie, not to vote for Hillary Clinton at the last minute. (She voted for Jill Stein instead.) But praising Roseanne as a series about the self-delusions of Trump supporters misses the ways it refuses to talk about the harsh realities of living in Trump’s America for people who aren’t straight and white.

Dude, he seriously smiles like he’s in a doctors office and he gets off on the rectal exam. Yeah just try and contemplate that image for a minute. Go on, I’ll wait! But now let’s take a look at the real Roseanne – the one who you don’t see on TV. This is where the controversy comes in.

Actress Roseanne Barr faced heavy criticism on social media this weekend after posting a tweet apparently indicating support for an online conspiracy theory claiming President Trump is involved in combating a global trafficking ring tied to the "deep state."

In a tweet posted Friday night, the "Roseanne" star alleged that Trump was breaking up human trafficking rings and freeing "hundreds" of children in sex slavery around the world every month.

"President Trump has freed so many children held in bondage to pimps all over this world. Hundreds each month. He has broken up trafficking rings in high places everywhere. notice that. I disagree on some things, but give him benefit of doubt-4 now," the actress wrote.

I’m with the kid on this one. And in case you couldn’t think it could get any more ridiculous, wait until you see who supports Roseanne! And with friends like these, you know, who needs enemies? This was a miracle? I think even Jesus somewhere is giving a facepalm at this one!

Over the weekend, Roseanne Barr posted a tweet praising President Trump for supposedly having “freed so many children held in bondage to pimps all over this world” and “broken up trafficking rings in high places everywhere,” which was a rather confusing statement to anyone not familiar with the right-wing conspiracy theory known as “The Storm.”

Barr’s since-removed tweet was rooted in a fringe right-wing conspiracy theory alleging that the special counsel investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 presidential election is really a cover for Trump’s efforts to take down thousands of corrupt political, business and entertainment leaders who are part of a massive satanic pedophile ring.

Unhinged conspiracy theorist Liz Crokin has been one of the leading voices promoting this conspiracy theory and she was overjoyed with Barr’s tweet, declaring in a video she posted over the weekend that Barr’s tweet was “nothing sort of a miracle.”

“It is just absolutely amazing and it is nothing short of a miracle that Roseanne, with her controversial viewpoints and the fact that she is exposing the deep state child sex trafficking and elite pedophilia, that she has been given this platform,” Crokin said. “I have to pinch myself because I am still finding it hard to believe. It is so amazing for our community.”

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

Let’s spin that shit! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! Bankrupt? No!!!!!

Spin it again. And it lands on… Donald Trump. Yes, the president who, if you were to compare him to any James Bond villain, he would be a real life Auric Goldfinger. And he probably would blow up Fort Knox. But let’s think about this here for a minute – He loves gold. He has an insane plan to dominate the world. And he’s been accused of cheating at golf. Yeah he’s a real life Goldfinger all right! So on the eve of the holiday known as Easter, how does Donald J. Trump celebrate the holiest of Saturdays? In the most Donald J. Trump way possible!

President Donald Trump began his morning on Holy Saturday with tweets blasting California Gov. Jerry Brown and Amazon before heading to the golf course.

The president, who is spending the Easter weekend at his Mar-a-Lago residence in Palm Beach, Florida, called Brown “Moonbeam.”

He also slammed the U.S. Post Office and Amazon over postage rates, tweeting that Amazon “must pay real costs (and taxes) now.”

Well, I think it’s safe to say that we all are. But I can guarantee none as shocked as the look on that Easter bunny’s face. I mean can we show that again? I love this so much!

To quote the late great Freddie Mercury – “Is this real life? Or is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality”. So now that we got his Easter pre-game party out of the way, how did Trump celebrate the actual Easter? About as well as you can possibly imagine.

President Donald Trump delivered another of his classic campaign rally speeches from the White House this morning, boasting about the economy and his build-up of spending on the military, with a giant pink-eared bespectacled bunny at his side.

Trump’s address was his way of commemorating the 140th annual White House Easter Egg Roll – a tradition that dates back to 1878.

“This is a special year. Our country is doing great. You look at the economy; you look at what’s happening,” Trump told the large gathering of children standing below him on the White House lawn

“Nothing is ever easy but we have never had an economy like we have right now. And we’re going to make it bigger and better and stronger,” he beamed.

Trump also took the moment to assure egg-rollers and their parents, “Our military is now at a level, will soon be at a level, that it’s never been before.

Oh wait, ladies and gentlemen! What’s that? There is some urgent news I have to report here!

Oh and this just in – Trump has told his 1,400th lie since he took office! Ladies and gentlemen, that is the 45th president of these United States! Bravo, take a bow! You know Trump’s lies are like fine wines – each one has its’ own body and character, and they have layers of flavor. You got to give it time to ferment.

The U.S. president has now said 1,400 false things since his inauguration, an average of 3.2 per day.

Speaking in Ohio, President Donald Trump is threatening to "hold up" the trade agreement his administration just finalized with South Korea to provide more leverage for talks with North Korea. (The Associated Press)

WASHINGTON—U.S. President Donald Trump was supposed to give a speech on infrastructure. Instead, he took his audience on a dizzying ramble-journey that covered everything from the war in Syria to the sitcom Roseanne. And he was highly dishonest along the way.

Trump made 16 false claims during the Ohio address. He added five more over the course of the week for a total of 21.

He has made 1,400 false claims over the first 437 days of his presidency, an average of 3.2 per day.

Oh! Oh no he didn’t! He set the fact checker on fire! Oh the humanity!!! I mean could this possibly get any more insane? Only if Trump doubled down on his attacks on Amazon. And he most certainly did, I mean this is Donald Trump we’re talking about here! Forgive our president for he knows not of which he speaks.

President Trump once accused Verizon of making “a STUPID deal” for AOL. He ridiculed Coca-Cola as “garbage” — but said he would keep drinking it. He called both H&R Block and Nordstrom “terrible.” He said Sony had “really stupid leadership” and described executives at S&P Global, a financial firm, as “losers.”

Before and after he became president, Mr. Trump attacked tech firms, military contractors, carmakers, cellphone companies, financial firms, drug companies, air-conditioner makers, sports leagues, Wall Street giants — and many, many media companies, which he has labeled “shameful,” “dishonest,” “true garbage,” “really dumb,” “phony,” “failing” and, broadly, “the enemy of the American people.”

Lately, Mr. Trump’s antibusiness rants have become particularly menacing and caused the stocks of some companies to plunge. His Twitter posts have carried with them the threat, sometimes explicit, that he is prepared to use the power of the presidency to undermine the companies that anger him.

The U.S. Chamber of Commerce, long a booster of Republican presidents, is not happy. “It’s inappropriate for government officials to use their position to attack an American company,” said Neil Bradley, the executive vice president and chief policy officer of the chamber. Mr. Bradley, who did not specifically name Mr. Trump, added that criticism of companies from politicians “undermines economic growth and job creation.”

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[font size="8"]The Trumper Games: MockingTrump Pt. 1
[br] [/font]

Let’s spin it to win it! Wheel goes round, wheel goes round, wheel goes round. Oh and it lands on… oh the guacamole option! Come on out here, Fernando! So I got this great plate of chips and salsa, a nice 24 ounce glass of Negra Modelo, and Fernando is coming to prepare my tableside guacamole. Fernando is our sous chef here at the Top 10. Here’s your $1.50 Fernando. OK easy on the onions, not too much tomato. Yeah look at that!

That’s Fernando everybody! All right, spin it again! And it lands on… Donald Trump. Another firing, another week for:

Ah, welcome to yet another edition of the Trumper Games! Happy Trumper Games! So last week if you need a recap – the president eliminated another tribute! Damn it, Charlie! You brought the cheap champagne again, I want the good shit! Last week, the president eliminated Tribute McMaster. This week – the president eliminated another Tribute, this time from District 4. I will be honest, I have no idea how the districts work, I just make them up as I go. This week – the tribute that was eliminated was David Shulkin, the head of the department of Veterans Affairs. As the president would say “You’re fired!”.

WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump fired Veterans Affairs Secretary David Shulkin on Wednesday, ending weeks of speculation about the embattled administrator’s future.

Shulkin’s position in the administration had been in jeopardy since the release of a damning inspector general report last month that criticized him for wasteful and unethical actions during a 10-day official department trip last summer.

In the wake of that report, Shulkin accused subordinates and White House operatives of working to undermine him because of a host of policy disagreements. In recent days, he backed away from promises to purge his department of those enemies and largely avoided the press.

The move leaves the Department of Veterans Affairs — which has a budget of nearly $200 billion and boasts about 360,000 employees — in a state of leadership disarray for the second time in less than four years.

Yes – the president eliminates yet another tribute! That’s 4 tributes in the last 3 weeks! The president is on a roll! And he has done all of them through his favorite method of elimination – the tweet! And remember the rules of the Trumper Games state that anyone can be eliminated at any time, and for any reason! So who did the president replace Tribute Shulkin with?

WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump ousted Secretary of Veterans Affairs David Shulkin on Wednesday, announcing his intent to nominate the White House physician, Adm. Ronny Jackson, to fill the post and ending weeks of speculation about when the embattled cabinet official would leave the administration.

Trump tweeted a confirmation of the news, which was first reported by Reuters. In a statement, the president described Jackson as "highly trained and qualified and as a service member himself." Trump also thanked Shulkin for his service and the "many great things we did together at Veterans Affairs."

Jackson has been a White House physician to Presidents Trump and Barack Obama. Robert Wilkie, an undersecretary of defense, will serve as interim secretary until Jackson is confirmed by the Senate, Trump said in a follow-up tweet.

Yes, my pretties! The president has replaced Tribute Shulkin with Tribute Jackson – yes the very same White House doctor who previously praised Trump’s “very good genes”. Come on, really? This is the guy who gave us Don Jr and Eric! He doesn’t have that great of genes! So what do we know about Tribute Jackson?

Sen. Bernie Sanders wouldn't commit to supporting President Donald Trump's pick to lead the Department of Veterans Affairs, Rear Adm. Ronny Jackson, on Sunday.

In an interview on CBS’ "Face the Nation," the Vermont independent noted that Jackson, Trump's personal physician, is a virtual unknown on veterans issues. He also expressed concerns the Trump administration is pushing to privatize the nearly $200 billion bureaucracy, citing the conservative agenda of the influential donors Charles and David Koch.

"We know nothing about what Dr. Jackson stands for and what his vision is for the VA," Sanders said.

Trump replaced VA Secretary David Shulkin last week after months of criticism over reports he misused government travel. Shulkin has since said he was forced out for pushing back against efforts to privatize veterans services.

That’s right! We know nothing! Only in the most stunningly incompetent of administrations could we replace a tribute with another tribute, and know nothing! This president really… doesn’t know what he is doing! Damn it, Johnny! Keep my champagne refilled! But of course, let the finger pointing and blame gaming begin!

Former Veterans Affairs Secretary David Shulkin is making it clear he was fired from his job amid conflicting claims from the White House.

White House spokeswoman Lindsay Walters on Sunday told The Associated Press that Shulkin had "resigned" from his job when President Donald Trump abruptly announced via Twitter last Wednesday that he was nominating White House doctor Ronny Jackson to replace him.

But in television interviews, Shulkin said he had not submitted a resignation letter, or planned to, and was only told of Trump's decision shortly before the Twitter announcement. He said he had spoken to Trump by phone earlier that day about VA improvements, with no mention of his job status, and was scheduled to meet with the president the next morning.

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[font size="8"] Scott Walker
[br] [/font]

Spin it to win it! And it lands on… chance!

Eh, the rest of the players might get $50 each, but I will get stock options worth $500,000,000! Ha! Jokes’ on them! Spin it again! and it lands on… oh People Who Somehow Got Elected! Let’s hit it!

Politicians at national, state and local levels who are so terrible , you wonder how they got elected in the first place. Or in this case reelected. It’s now time for another installment of:

This week – it’s the governor of the state of Wisconsin, Scott Walker. Governor Scott Walker is a byproduct of the Koch Bros / Tea Party craze fueled by a combination of voters fed a diet of hatred on Fox News, and money funded by the Koch Bros. And thanks to the Supreme Court’s controversial Citizens United ruling that allowed unlimited amounts of money to flow into campaigns, and for billionaires to simply buy key positions. Like being the governor of the state of Wisconsin, who was called “a menace to democracy”.

When a judge ordered Gov. Scott Walker to stop messing with Wisconsin democracy and order special elections to be held for a pair of vacant legislative seats, that should have been the end of the governor’s lawless scheming to leave the 229,904 Wisconsinites who live in those districts unrepresented for almost a full year.

Everyone had figured out what Walker was up to. Fearful that special elections might see Democrats elected in the historically Republican 1st Senate District and 43rd Assembly District, Walker simply refused to call the elections after the seats went vacant last year. Walker and his lawyers tried to makes excuses for the governor’s anti-democratic machinations, but Dane County Circuit Judge Josann Reynolds dismissed them as “inconsistent, incompatible and irreconcilable.”

“To state the obvious,” the judge explained, “if the plaintiffs have a right to vote for their representatives, they must have an election to do so.”

Remarkably, the response of Walker and his legislative allies to the judge’s order was not to order the elections — which could have been held in conjunction with the regularly scheduled spring elections if Walker had acted promptly. Instead, they proposed to rewrite state statutes so that governors would no longer be required to call special elections to fill legislative vacancies “as promptly as possible.”

Yes – Scott Walker is so terrible at his job that even leading newspapers in Wisconsin aren’t endorsing his reelection bid. Even the citizens of Wisconsin are under the impression that they are currently without leadership.

MADISON - After a three-month delay, a lightning-quick lawsuit and three orders from as many judges, Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker called two special elections Thursday and GOP senators dropped legislation to block the contests.

Republican efforts collapsed following a Wednesday ruling by an appellate judge ordering the governor to call the May primary and June general elections. In less than a day, Walker abandoned a state Supreme Court appeal to overturn the ruling and lawmakers in both the Senate and Assembly canceled plans to vote to leave the seats vacant.

"This is a victory for the citizens of Wisconsin who are without representation because of Governor Walker's refusal to do his job," said former U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder, whose national Democratic group brought the lawsuit against Walker on behalf of local voters. "Republicans in the Legislature should stop trying to find new ways to keep the people they're supposed to represent from voting."

Wow, even Dirty Harry thinks that Scott Walker sucks. And when he says that Scott Walker sucks, damn it, he means it. But let’s expand on this – Walker originally refused to call the special elections in Wisconsin, and was ordered to by a federal judge. See, the republicans can’t win if they can’t lie, cheat, and steal.

MADISON, Wis. — A Wisconsin judge Thursday ordered Gov. Scott Walker to call special elections to fill a pair of legislative seats vacated by fellow Republicans, handing a victory to Democrats who have pushed for the elections to be held.

A national Democratic group led by former U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder filed the lawsuit on behalf of voters who argued they were disenfranchised by Walker’s decision not to call elections to fill the vacancies that occurred on Dec. 29.

Attorneys for Holder’s groups, the National Redistricting Foundation, argued that Walker has a legal obligation to call special elections as soon as possible. Democrats said the governor is afraid Democrats will win the seats, but Walker contends the lawsuit is a partisan, special interest effort to waste taxpayers’ money and he’s under no legal obligation to hold the elections.

Dane County Circuit Judge Josann Reynolds, whom Walker appointed in 2014, rejected all of his defense arguments in requiring him to issue an order no later than March 29 calling special elections within the next 11 weeks. Reynolds said Walker’s interpretation of the law was inconsistent and incompatible with a strict interpretation of the Constitution, something she noted the conservative governor has long said he adheres to.

Yes there is something rotten in the state of Wisconsin, all right. And that something rotten just happens to be in Madison. In fact the governor and republicans of Wisconsin are so desperate to *NOT* hold an election that they’re resorting to such desperate measures as this.

Gov. Scott Walker and Republican lawmakers are moving quickly to change when special elections must be held in the wake of a court order requiring special elections for two vacant legislative seats.

Dane County Circuit Judge Josann Reynolds — who was appointed to the bench by Walker in 2014 and elected to a six-year term the following year — blistered the governor Thursday for refusing to call the special elections and ordered him to do so within a week.

The Senate and Assembly, which wrapped up their regular session business this week, are planning to meet in extraordinary session to take up a bill that would change the timeline for special elections, according to a statement issued Friday by Senate Majority Leader Scott Fitzgerald, R-Juneau, and Assembly Speaker Robin Vos, R-Rochester.

Walker — even before formal legislation had been made public — said that he would sign the bill.

Yes – and Scott Walker is one of those people who wants to watch the world burn. He would rather hold elections in secret or not hold them at all. Because the republicans can’t win if they can’t lie, cheat, steal, and rig their way to the top, as we have seen time and time again. In fact the GOP is so corrupt in Wisconsin that they wanted to simply eliminate the position of Secretary of The Treasury:

Scott Walker just got called out by a judge he appointed for making up absurd excuses for trampling on the voting rights of Wisconsinites by literally refusing to let them vote. The governor’s rationale for refusing to call special elections to fill vacant state legislative seats was so absurd that Dane County Circuit Judge Josann Reynolds dismissed them as “inconsistent, incompatible and irreconcilable.”

In ordering Walker to call the special elections for the state Assembly and state Senate seats that were vacated when he appointed Republican legislators to his administration, Judge Reynolds saw through the fabric of excuses blocking elections that Republicans might lose and simply declared: “To state the obvious, if the plaintiffs have a right to vote for their representatives, they must have an election to do so.”

Logic tripped Walker up and, thankfully, there was a judge to check and balance the governor’s anti-democratic impulses.

Yes and no one wants to see the world burn more than Scott Walker. And in case you’re wondering why all this is going down in Wisconsin – the GOP is all about protecting “the brand” and “the base”. And it will stop at nothing to do so. So much that their strategy of “all or nothing” is backfiring on them big time!

The risk of losing two seats in the legislature might not be as bad for Wisconsin Republicans as the fallout from attempts to avoid having special elections.

UW-La Crosse political scientist Joe Heim told WIZM that the image of the Wisconsin GOP may suffer over the election fight.

“You think (the GOP was saying), 'Well the courts aren't going to let us do this, they're going to force us to, so we're just going to change the law,’” Heim said. “I think that kind of gives an image of arrogance to the Republican Party.”

There you have it. Scott Walker rigs elections and is more concerned with protecting his brand than his people. That’s Wisconsin governor Scott Walker – another politician to add to the growing list of:

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Herbie The Stored Bug
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Let’s give the wheel a nice strong spin shall we? And it lands on… clip without context!

Why don’t you name some, Linda? Go ahead I’ll wait. Spin it again! And it lands on… Top 10 Investigates! It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is: Top 10 Investigates.

Two years ago, Volkswagen got caught up in the middle of one of the worst anti-environmental scandals any automotive manufacturer could have been involved in. So if you need a recap of this scandal, Volkswagen got caught cheating on emissions standards in a massive clusterfuck that nearly broke the company. So what does one do to make it right? They bought back the vehicles that were the victims of this scandal. But what do they do with those vehicles once they bought them back? Well, we go to the California desert – the city of Victorville is the home to a massive automotive boneyard that is visible from space.

Volkswagen has bought back hundreds of thousands of automobiles in the US as a result of the diesel emissions scandal uncovered in 2015. After spending $7.4 billon on the cars so far, where did they end up?

Thousands went to the desert, as these images from near Victorville, California, already known for its graveyard of decommissioned airplanes, show. The cars taken back by VW will either be fixed and returned to customers, resold or destroyed. Over 20,000 vehicles have already been destroyed, Reuters reports.

All told, about 350,000 cars in the US have been reacquired by the German automaker. VW has found 37 sprawling lots across the US, including a disused football stadium in Detroit, for the cars that are still awaiting their fate.

Yes that’s correct – some 350,000 cars are just sitting in a massive boneyard at the Southern California Logistics Airport in Victorville. So where exactly are these vehicles being stored? It’s not just in a boneyard in Victorville, they are all over the country.

Volkswagen has taken parking lots to a whole new level in the United States - and will not be emptying them soon.

Volkswagen AG has paid more than $7.4 billion to buy back about 350,000 U.S. diesel vehicles through mid-February, a recent court filing shows. The German automaker has been storing hundreds of thousands of vehicles around the United States for months.

Volkswagen has 37 secure storage facilities around the United States housing nearly 300,000 vehicles, the filing from the program’s independent administrator said. The lots include a shuttered suburban Detroit football stadium, a former Minnesota paper mill and a sun-bleached desert graveyard near Victorville, California.

VW spokeswoman Jeannine Ginivan said in a statement on Wednesday that the storage facility in Victorville, California, is one of many “to ensure the responsible storage of vehicles that are bought back under the terms of the Volkswagen” diesel settlements.

Yes and that’s exactly what Volkswagen did – they said “fuck this place, let’s put up a parking lot.”. And these parking lots aren’t just massive – they’re visible from space. In fact just do a simple Google Maps search on the Logistics Airport in Victorville – you can see it for yourself. And this is what some might call “vehicular purgatory”. Who we hear are playing Coachella this year. Awesome band.

The desert can play tricks on the eyes, especially when the temperatures hit triple-digits.

But on a cool spring day last week there was no confusing the ocean of cars parked off Adelanto Road and Innovation Way at Southern California Logistics Airport for a mirage. Victor Valley residents have grown accustomed to seeing airliners parked at SCLA over the years, either for storage, painting or other modifications. But row after row of cars? That was something new.

Stirling Development’s Anita Tuckerman confirmed SCLA has become ground zero in Southern California for Volkwagen’s buyback of diesel-powered cars that the company rigged to cheat on emissions tests. Earlier this month, a federal judge ordered Volkswagen to pay a $2.8 billion criminal fine. The company has announced plans to spend another $18.32 billion to rectify everything.

“Stirling has leased them 134 acres,” said Tuckerman, director of Asset Services for Stirling Development. “They can hold 21,000 cars on their current land.”

So this whole fiasco is costing Volkswagen billions of dollars, hundreds of wasted man hours, and the potential to be an environmental disaster worse than the previous environmental disaster. After the first four environmental disasters, is your fifth one free? Is there a rewards program for that?

Across the nation, nearly 300,000 recalled Volkswagens were still in storage at the start of the year at temporary lots like the one adjacent to Pikes Peak International Raceway, according to news agency Reuters.

Volkswagen has not released any updated timetable for the clearance of the remaining “buyback cars” still in storage. The automaker hopes to re-sell the remaining cars either in the U.S. or in foreign markets. Some may get disposed of for scrap parts.

At the makeshift lot next Pikes Peak raceway, hundreds of cars have been moved off site in recent months but thousands more remain. Volkswagen has declined to release the total number of cars in storage at the lot.

Nationally, there are 37 storage lots, according to Reuters, citing an updated report on the automaker’s recall program related to its diesel emissions scandal. The lots include a shuttered suburban Detroit football stadium, a former Minnesota paper mill and an old air field near Victorville, Calif., the news agency said.

Yes, WTF. WTF indeed. This entire thing is proving that it could potentially be an environmental and fiscal disaster. That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Let’s spin the wheel again shall we? And it lands on… come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! Oh hey look, intermission!

Spin it again! And it’s time for… Holy Shit! Gather around my fair brothers and sisters, it’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened, and it is our weekly duty to remind you that the holiest among us are also the most full of:

So… my fair congregation, I ask you – how does one predict the future? Well that is what my colleagues in the Christian right are doing this week! And I answer you… I don’t even think they know. Can I get an amen on that one? Thank you! Because there are a certain minority of them that are already calling the 2020 election for Donald J. Trump. Even though we haven’t even hit the primary season yet! Here is one such individual who is already predicting the future !

Frank Amedia, the tsunami-stopping pastor who served as a volunteer “Christian policy liaison” for Donald Trump’s presidential campaign before launching his POTUS Shield effort, appeared on Jim Bakker’s program today, where he prophesied that President Trump will win re-election in 2020.

Amedia recounted how God had told him weeks before the 2016 election that Trump would win and then gave him the assignment on election night to launch POTUS Shield in order to “put up a line of defense and call My prophets to go forth” to wage spiritual warfare on behalf of the president.

After recounting the history and purpose of POTUS Shield, Amedia revealed that God had given him permission to declare that Trump will be re-elected in 2020.

“I wasn’t allowed to release it until today,” Amedia said. “I have been holding it in my heart for several months, I think I shared it with a few of my people and that’s it. Donald Trump will be the next president of the United States again in 2020. I think you feel the power of God releasing on that.”

So there you have it, my religious brothers are already calling the 2020 election for President Trump, and the race hasn’t even begun yet! Donald could still get primaried! So here is why GAWD is saying that Trump is the man for 2020! According to Brother Jim, GAWD is just using him!

On his television program today, End Times prepper pastor Jim Bakker declared that support for President Trump is a test from God of one’s faith in Him.

“Do you know why church people and millions of other people do not understand Donald Trump, that God could use him?” he asked. “They don’t know God. They don’t know God. They don’t know this book [the Bible] one iota.”

“He used the unlovely, He used the unacceptable, He used the people that no one would vote for,” Bakker continued. “We don’t get God. God uses the impossible.”

“He picked a president,” Bakker added. “He is testing; your evaluation of Almighty God is going on. God picks the unusual. God picks the one that no one else would pick.”

And there you have it folks – Brother Jim is saying that god is testing you. You know if this is god’s will, and I’m sure it is, then what’s Satan’s will? That question has yet to be answered! But in predicting the future, one must pass the test, and one must protect thyself! Which is why you NEED lots of firepower!

Chuck Baldwin, a right-wing pastor and radio host who was the 2008 Presidential nominee of the Christian Reconstructionist Constitution Party, appeared on Sheila Zilinsky’s podcast over the weekend, where he declared that any Christian who does not own the equivalent of an AR-15 assault rifle “has denied the Christian faith” and is “worse than a heathen.”

Citing a passage from 1 Timothy, Baldwin asserted that every adult has “a duty to provide for your family, but you cannot provide protection for your family without being equipped to do so.”

“Therefore, you must have the means of self-defense,” Baldwin said. “And in our society today, that means a firearm in the similitude of an AR-15. Without that, you are not in a position, you are not even able to protect not just your family and your house, but your neighbors, your community around you; that we, as a community of people—that’s the militia—are given the God-given responsibility to protect our communities. That is a biblical requirement.”

Baldwin called on pastors to preach sermons telling their congregations that “if you are not prepared to defend your family and your neighborhood and your community with the force of arms, you have denied that Christian faith and you are worse than a heathen.”

So, my fair congregation, you must have guns, and you must be prepared to have your faith be tested by the LAWRD OUR GAWD!!!! For he is testing you at all times. He might be testing you right now by making you listen to my shit! Hey, we don’t know! In order to predict the future, one must be armed, and one must be mind fucked on a daily basis! But… what else are we forgetting? Well we wlll need shelter because apparently an environmental apocalypse is coming!

Ralph Drollinger, the man who leads weekly Bible study meetings for members of Congress and Trump’s Cabinet—including embattled Environmental Protection Agency head Scott Pruitt—distributed on Monday a Bible study warning that America is in the process of shifting from Christianity to the “false religion of Radical Environmentalism.” Pruitt told CBN last year that it was “wonderful” to participate in the Cabinet Bible studies.

Drollinger’s weekly written Bible studies (also available online in print and audio versions) are distributed to public officials by Capitol Ministries, which is expanding in the U.S. and globally. Drollinger, who sometimes describes them as a kind of a homework supplement to the in-person Bible study meetings, told a reporter last year that Trump reads the studies and sends him positive hand-written notes about them.

The study posted on Monday, “Coming to Grips with the Religion of Environmentalism,” appears to be an updated version of a previous written study with the same title. It draws heavily on a passage in the biblical book of Genesis in which God grants mankind dominion over the Earth and all its creatures and instructs man to rule and subdue creation.

Yes, I think even JAYSUS is speechless at this one because you can’t predict the future. I mean you simply can’t! And I hope that’s the takeaway you get from today’s sermon. Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]The Storm
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Spin it to win it! Wheel goes ‘round, wheel goes ‘round… and it lands on, oh clip without context!

Uh huh, sure, Jim. Tell us more! How many supplements did you need to sell? Go on I can wait. Spin it again! and it lands on… Conspiracy Theories! You know we were originally going to do a “This Fucking Guy” segment here. But I couldn’t find enough information. But I did find a ton about “The Storm” so that’s what we’re going to talk about here. Do you all know what “The Storm” is? It’s one of the most baseless, bullshit conspiracy theories out there. And it’s quite insane. It is essentially Pizzagate 2.0, and we all know how crazy Pizzagate was. So before we get into it, what is “The Storm”?

A new conspiracy theory called “The Storm” has taken the grimiest parts of the internet by, well, storm. Like Pizzagate, the Storm conspiracy features secret cabals, a child sex-trafficking ring led (in part) by the satanic Democratic Party, and of course, countless logical leaps and paranoid assumptions that fail to hold up under the slightest fact-based scrutiny. However, unlike Pizzagate, the Storm isn’t focused on a single block of shops in D.C., or John Podesta’s emails. It’s much, much bigger than that.

As most terrible things do, this story begins with a post on /pol/, a sub-board of the more-or-less-anonymous, anything-goes website 4chan. Over the last few years, /pol/ — which technically stands for “politically incorrect” — has slowly but surely become a top contender for the ever-coveted title of the most upsetting community online. It’s the sort of place where neo-Nazis and people who believe women shouldn’t have basic human rights used to meet before we started verifying them on Twitter and electing them to public office. And as of late, it’s expanded its ranks to include fringe members of all shapes and sizes.

Yes like all bad ideas this one originated from 4chan by the famed anonymous poster known as Q. Boy wouldn’t it be great to unmask Q and find out who Q really is? And they would have got away with it too if it weren’t for those meddling kids! But the Storm was in the news a lot this week and it mainly has to do with Roseanne. But there is more to this than you would think. So QAnon attempted a 24 hour meme war that backfired on them big time.

Conspiracy theorists tapped in to “The Storm” have declared today to be the day in which they “post a continuous barrage of memes” in order to prepare the nation for the release of a video that they believe will serve as the “nail in many coffins” for liberal politicians who are involved in a massive alleged pedophile cult.

The Storm is a conspiracy theory that has captured the imaginations of “Pizzagate” truthers who believe that the highest ranking liberal political and business leaders are engaged in a secret satanic pedophile ring dedicated to trafficking and abusing children. At the helm of The Storm sits an anonymous poster on 4chan and then 8chan message boards known only as “Q.” Many followers of The Storm believe “Q” to be a high-ranking government official whom President Trump has ordered to leave cryptic clues—dubbed “crumbs” by conspiracy theorists—about supposed behind-the-scene efforts to unravel the alleged pedophile ring. An archive site of QAnon posts has documented nearly 1,000 cryptic messages since late October of last year.

Since the theory began in October, hordes of people have been engaged with it. YouTube videos about “QAnon” regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. The most dedicated participants in the conspiracy theory, including Infowars Washington bureau chief Jerome Corsi, spend hours per day in Discord chat rooms attempting to decode posts written by “Q.”

Now, these activists believe they have been ordered by Trump to “set the stage” for the impending release of a video concerning Hillary Clinton that they say will contain footage that is “impossible to defend” and will lead to the undoing of the liberal elite.

What “undoing” left of the “liberal elite” is there left to do? You’ve already undone everything and about 90% of the progress Obama made in his 8 years in office. How much more damage are you threatening to do? Blame us for terrorist attacks? Yeah! But you know what? We got him!

Participants in the ongoing conspiracy theory known as “The Storm,” which alleges that President Trump is working to take down a massive elite satanic pedophile ring, believe that the main subject of their theory—an anonymous 8Chan user dubbed “Q”—is being targeted by the FBI.

Early this morning, “Q,” who some conspiracy theorists are convinced is a high ranking White House official, claimed that the FBI was opening a case on him or her in relation to the recent series of bombings in Austin, Texas, because of a number of “Q” posts that contain the phrase “BOOM.” “They are scared … They will fail. We know the details” the post reads:

The user “Q” is the figurehead of a larger conspiracy theory known online as “The Storm.” According to advocates of “The Storm,” Special Counsel Robert Mueller is not actually investigating President Trump and his associates for possible collusion with Russian officials during the 2016 election, but rather is working for Trump to dismantle a satanic pedophile ring involving global elites.

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[font size="8"]I Need A Drinkl
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Let’s spin the wheel again shall we? And it lands on… come on no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! Clip without context!

Well, sir, we’re going to need divine intervention to get us through the next two years. Spin it again! And it lands on… oh hey I need a drink!

Yes and I need a drink this week. So tell me bartender, what goes well with a cross check? Molson lager? We can’t get that here in the States. I’ll just take a large IPA thanks. In case you don’t know what we’re talking about – we’re going to discuss one of the strangest rules in any sport that got national and international attention last week. I’m of course talking about the NHL’s reserve goalie rule.

Chicago Blackhawks goalie Collin Delia was injured in Thursday night's game against the Winnipeg Jets and the team needed to call on 36-year-old goalie Scott Foster to make his NHL debut as the emergency back-up.

Delia, making his first NHL start, was helped off the ice with an apparent lower-body injury in the third period. He was filling in for starter Anton Forsberg, who was injured during warmups. The team's No. 1 goalie Corey Crawford has been on injured reserve since late December.

Foster only found out he was dressing as the backup "moments before game."

"The initial shock happened when I had to dress," Foster told media. "I think I blacked out after that."

Foster took the ice wearing No. 90. He finished the night with seven saves on seven shots—including one on sniper Patrik Laine—in 14:01 of ice time and was named the game's No. 1 star for his efforts in the Blackhawks' 6-3 win.

OK that dude is definitely way more of a bad ass than you or I will ever be. I mean come on, his first time playing in a professional hockey game and he fucking nailed it. You can’t get more awesome than that, can we? Well what is the reserve goalie rule? Let’s explore that a bit further.

An NHL team only has two goalies, the starter and his reserve, on its playing roster at any given time, but the league mandates that a third, last-resort option be present at every home game. To become eligible, all the EBUG has to do is sign a one-day amateur tryout contract. The opportunity comes with no compensation, but the backups get to watch the game and will often get a free meal out of it.

Rule 5.3 of the NHL rulebook reads:

In regular League and Playoff games, if both listed goalkeepers are incapacitated, that team shall be entitled to dress and play any available goalkeeper who is eligible. This goalkeeper is eligible to sit on the player’s bench, in uniform. In the event that the two regular goalkeepers are injured or incapacitated in quick succession, the third goalkeeper shall be provided with a reasonable amount of time to get dressed, in addition to a two-minute warm-up.

Perhaps it is a testament to the durability of NHL players, but an EBUG rarely has to do so much as look up from his free dinner, let alone actually suit up and prepare to be called onto the ice. In 2009, a college drama student put on pads for the Edmonton Oilers after an injury to one of their rostered goaltenders. In 2008, the Washington Capitals asked their website editor to sit on the bench. In 2011, the Minnesota Wild signed a 51-year-old embroidery shop owner to a one-day contract after its starting goalie had to attend the birth of his child and the team’s minor-league reserve couldn’t make it to the stadium in time. None of those guys had to actually play, however.

Yeah so that happened. And man it was quite a sight to behold. In fact this rule is actually making talks in other sports. I mean imagine if baseball had this rule!

On Thursday evening, Scott Foster was an Oak Park, Ill. accountant and recreational hockey goalie whose last competitive action came during his senior year at Western Michigan University in 2005-06. By the time the Chicago Blackhawks finished their 6–2 win over the Winnipeg Jets on Thursday night, Foster had made his NHL debut, stopped seven shots and allowed zero goals in 14 minutes of action. A codicil in the NHL collective bargaining agreement specifies that an emergency goalkeeper can enter a game for either team in the event that both active goalies get injured. On Thursday, the Blackhawks lost starting goalie Anton Forsberg to injury in warmups and backup Collin Delia, who was making his NHL debut, with 14 minutes remaining. That forced Foster, who finished his day as an accountant just hours earlier, to finish the game. Now, Foster is the talk of the sports world and an instant folk hero.

The emergency backup goalie rule usually puts unsuspecting people—coaches who were once NHL goalies, former professionals—into the thrilling if terrifying scenario of entering a NHL game. Foster's perfect outing assures that he'll finish his NHL career with a 1.000% save percentage.

While you may think Scott Foster is an isolated incident and he’s definitely an anomaly in this world of hockey, he most definitely isn’t! in fact this isn’t the first time hockey has had to enact this controversial rule. In fact there’s other times that hockey has had this happen, and I am definitely going to need more beer!

Eric Semborski was coaching youth hockey players at the Philadelphia Flyers training facility Saturday morning, a rink where he’d interacted occasionally with NHL players in Voorhees, N.J., when he got the call.

A series of events had taken place earlier that would result in the 23-year-old former college club goalie becoming an NHL player himself. Semborski was pulled aside by his boss and found himself talking to a representative of the Flyers.

“He started taking down my player history,” Semborski told USA TODAY Sports. “Then he said the Blackhawks would need a goalie in a couple hours and to go home and get my gear. It’s not something I ever thought about.

"To go from club hockey to the Wells Fargo Center? I dreamt about being in the NHL as a kid, but I knew it was never going to happen.”

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[font size="8"]Stupidest State Contest: Round 1 Week 3
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Let’s give the wheel a spin one final time this week. And it lands on… t-shirt cannon! Everyone in the audience will get the new 2018 Stupidest State t-shirt. Now if only I had the budget to make and sell t-shirts. Well, when you have a budget of 0, well, you know… Spin it again! Stupidest State contest! Hit it!

16 states will enter, but only one will be crowned the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!

Welcome back! I hope you all filled out your brackets! This We have not one, but two exciting matchups this week! Last week – we had a huge upset in the tournament brewing as perennial favorite Kansas was knocked off by a young upstart, and red hot West Virginia in the fight for Fiscal Irresponsibility superiority. Meanwhile, in the Family Values conference, Alabama – though they may have been weakened because of the Roy Moore election, showed Indiana who’s boss in an absolutely epic showdown of who worships Jesus the most. This week we’re live from the Gila River Arena in Phoenix, Arizona, where we’ve got a pair of exciting matchups for you! This week, a young, upstart Nevada team looks to go for broke against conference favorite Wisconsin, while Florida brings their big guns to the dance against conference newcomer Louisiana! Let’s get out our brackets so you can follow along!

[font size="6"]Match 1: Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference: Nevada Vs Wisconsin [/font]

[font size="4"]Nevada[/font]

Welcome to Nevada everybody! Of course we were here last week broadcasting our Stupidest State contest live from the beautiful new T-Mobile Arena that’s right off Las Vegas Blvd, better known as “The Strip”. Of course everyone knows the Strip – it’s the only place in the entire world where you can experience what it’s like to live like a baller in the best suites at the MGM Grand and Caesar’s Palace, and you can go from that to living like the homeless. Just put it all on 36 Black. But Nevada is also home to the University of Nevada and the newest NHL franchise, the Las Vegas Golden Knights, and they are the future home of the Las Vegas Raiders. But what else is Nevada the home of? Campaign finance scandals! Of course every state has those, but nobody is greedier than Nevada!

Democrats are accusing former U.S. Rep. Cresent Hardy — who has filed to run for Nevada’s 4th Congressional District, the seat he won in 2014 — of using nearly $4,000 of campaign funds for personal use.

The 11 expenditures in question span Jan. 3 to Aug. 8 of last year, after Hardy had left office. The Republican lost his 2016 re-election bid to Democratic Rep. Ruben Kihuen. Federal election laws prohibit the personal use of leftover campaign funds but allow officeholders six months to spend the money on “winding down” the office.

Campaign finance filings show Hardy spent $395 on an Alamo rental car, $210 at The Orleans, $297 at Hotels.com, $788 on airfare and nearly $80 for phone and internet services with Cox Communications.

“This is potentially more troubling evidence of Cresent Hardy’s history of shady dealings to line his own pockets,” said Drew Godinich, a spokesman for the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee. “We deserve leaders who put the needs of Nevada first, instead of themselves.”

Read more: https://www.reviewjournal.com/news/politics-and-government/nevada/democrats-accuse-nevadas-hardy-of-misusing-campaign-funds/

And then Nevada is also the home of a guy named Steve Wynn, whose giant Wynn Casino is directly across Las Vegas Blvd from Trump tower, and he is embattled in a sex scandal of his own, and just like Trump – treats his workers like shit.

Steve Wynn is under siege. The casino magnate is facing a range of allegations—from sexual harassment to forced sex—from former female employees, according to The Wall Street Journal. Then on Saturday, Republican National Committee Chair Ronna Romney McDaniel announced she had accepted Wynn’s resignation as the RNC’s finance chair. Wynn called the claims of assault “preposterous” in a statement, but the board of directors of Wynn Resorts has formed a committee of independent directors to investigate the allegations in the article.

But there’s no indication that President Donald Trump is moving to sever ties with his fellow mogul. Trump loves people who flatter him, and Wynn flatters him profusely. In other words, Wynn may be the most controversial example of Trump’s insistence on surrounding himself with successful businessmen despite the baggage they bring—but he’s also part of a larger pattern.

The close relationship between the two men is a recent development. During the Republican primary, Senator Ted Cruz met privately with Wynn to discuss a potential endorsement when he was in Las Vegas for a primary debate, in December of 2015. Wynn, whose net worth Forbes estimates at $3.5 billion, had given money to Cruz in the past, and the Texas lawmaker’s team hoped to score his official imprimatur.

[font size="4"]Wisconsin [/font]

Wisconsin. You know Wisconsin. It’s the state that has given us the Lambeau Leap, the Green Bay Packers, the University Of Wisconsin, and the cheese head. It’s also given us the current speaker of the House & rejected spokesmodel for Axe Body Spray, Paul Ryan. It’s also given us the guy who we profiled earlier in “People Who Somehow Got Elected”, Scott Walker. And Scott Walker has enacted and enabled some policies that the residents of Wisconsin aren’t well, let’s say less than pleased with.

STEVENS POINT - A University of Wisconsin-Stevens Point spokeswoman said Wednesday that university leaders have tasked a committee to create a new proposal aimed at limiting cuts to humanities majors.

The action by the university's common council comes after roughly 300 people on March 21 staged a sit-in of the Old Main building to protest a proposal by the university that would cut 13 humanities majors. The proposal has been met with backlash and has garnered national attention.

At the student-led protest, students delivered to the chancellor and the administration a letter asking the university to create a second proposal.

"In response to a request from students and alumni who organized a sit-in on campus March 21, the UW-Stevens Point Common Council has asked its Academic Affairs Committee to serve as a task force to write a counter-proposal for addressing fiscal challenges, one that particularly preserves our existing humanities majors," said Nick Schultz, a UW-Stevens Point spokesperson, in an email Wednesday evening.

Yes that’s just at the collegiate level. The Kochs aren’t afraid of screwing over anybody and anything they damn well please. Because that’s what closet backdoor dictators do. And then there’s this.

Now that he's running for re-election in what could be a tough political year for Republicans, he proposed and the Legislature approved a $639 million increase in K-12 funding for 2017-19 -- the largest increase, he brags, in the state's history. ...........................................Forget about that $1.8 billion cut. Walker will trumpet the "largest education increase in history." Very clever indeed.

Then, there's the Affordable Care Act. From the day Walker took office, he's done his best to sabotage Obamacare. He was one of several Republican governors to turn down federal dollars to expand Medicaid, a feature of the ACA aimed at lowering premiums. He bad-mouthed everything about it and backed the "repeal and replace" Republicans. When Donald Trump became president, he cheered when Trump signed executive orders to undermine the insurance exchanges and create uncertainty in the marketplace, all combining to raise rates.

But as election time nears, Walker has suddenly seen the light. Like a gallant knight riding to the rescue, he now hopes to be seen as a savior, putting aside $200 million to stabilize the market for those who use the insurance exchange in Wisconsin. Seventy-five percent of the costs, incidentally, will be picked up by the federal government, which he found untenable only a few years ago.................

[font size="6"]And The Winner Is… [/font]

Sorry Nevada, you may be casino evil and have mobsters and gangsters in your back pocket, but no one out greeds Wisconsin. I mean come on this is the state that elected and reelected Scott Walker, and tried to actively suppress the vote. Wisconsin handily wins 79 – 64. They will move onto the next round.

[font size="6"]Match 2: Gun Nut Conference: Florida Vs. Louisiana[/font]

[font size="4"]Florida[/font]

Ah, Florida. The home of Florida Man. You know we could just sit here and literally all day post meme after meme and story after story about how batshit crazy Florida is. But since the last tournament, they left the Batshit conference because as it turns out – Florida has some of the country’s worst gun laws. It’s also the home of another Koch backed governor – Rick Scott. And since the Parkland shooting, Rick Scott has spent an awful lot of time in the spotlight – and time he doesn’t want. Since the Parkland shooting, it’s all been completely insane.

The pro-Second Amendment right wing officially broke its brain last month. Instead of civilly disagreeing with the Parkland-surviving teens who organized the March for Our Lives, Breitbart has accused David Hogg of giving a Nazi salute (didn't happen), commentators and sitting lawmakers have utterly misrepresented Cuban politics and accused Emma Gonzalez of supporting the Castro regime, the Daily Wire wrote an article making fun of David Hogg's actually very-good 4.2 grade-point-average, and social-media users have spread all sorts of memes comparing school-shooting survivors to Hitler.

Did you assume that photoshopping Hogg's face onto the body of a Hitler Youth member was the lowest the public discourse about this could go? Think again! A burgeoning take on right-wing pockets of social media seems to be that the Parkland kids actually caused the Stoneman Douglas massacre by bullying poor, poor Nikolas Cruz.

To be clear: There's little evidence that Cruz was bullied. Douglas students have consistently described Cruz as a frightening individual that most people steered clear from, and he was evaluated multiple times for psychiatric issues and threats of violence.

And even if any students bullied someone, that doesn't give anyone the right to walk into a school with an assault rifle and murder people. The meme here seems to stem from one of Gonzalez's speeches, where she says she and others "ostracized" Cruz — but the clip is ripped out of context and she is very clearly explaining that Cruz's actions (threatening others, taking tons of photos of his guns, drawing swastikas on his belongings) terrified people and made them want to avoid him.

Read more: http://www.miaminewtimes.com/news/right-now-blaming-parkland-teens-for-bullying-nikolas-cruz-10221533

Yes – what more American thing to do than to blame the victims for being in harms’ way? That’s all we do as a country, because, reasons. And how does Rick Scott respond? Armed guards in schools! Because, guns!

The Florida House spent nearly seven hours Tuesday debating a four-point school safety plan. The final vote on the proposal could come Wednesday.

The debate covered 37 amendments filed by Democrats. Another 41 amendments were withdrawn from consideration.

Before the House began consideration of a Senate proposal that puts guns in the hands of school employees, Rep. Jared Moskowitz, D-Coral Springs, put his colleagues on notice.

"By the time we are through everyone will know where everyone stands on the marshal program," he said.

Read more: https://www.tallahassee.com/story/news/2018/03/06/house-poised-pass-school-marshal-plan-votes/400847002/

[font size="6"]Louisiana[/font]

Loooooooooooooosiana, as it’s called by the advertisements for its’ home state fast food chain Popeyes, is a state we have not covered yet. It’s home to such world class universities as Tulane University. It’s also the home of the New Orleans Pelicans and all the creepy and weird mascots that team has produced. But the city of New Orleans itself is creepy, weird, and utterly fascinating as it’s the home of Mardi Gras – a celebration of life and, well, let’s be honest, public drunkenness. It’s also the home of Koch backed governor Bobby Jindal (state now run by a dem- Jon Bel Edwards). Who again has enacted some of the worst gun laws in the country.

A judge ruled Thursday that a Louisiana law prohibiting felons from carrying firearms was in violation of a recently ratified constitutional amendment, according to The Times-Pacayune.

“The courts cannot question the wisdom of fundamental law and frustrate the will of the people; their function is to interpret and apply that law,” he wrote. “After reviewing the law and applying a strict scrutiny standard, the Court finds La R.S. 145.1 unconstitutional in its entirety.”

Louisiana voters approved a constitutional amendment last November to subject any gun law to the highest standard of scrutiny by a court, a level of judicial review that few laws pass. Chris W. Cox, executive director of NRA’s Institute for Legislative Action, boasted that no state “has passed a right to keep and bear arms constitutional amendment as strong as Louisiana’s.”

Yes they take the phrase “keep and bear arms” just a little too literally. And with hardcore guns as you know, comes hardcore racism! Yes, the two often go hand in hand but not like in Looosiana. Cases like this:

Eight alleged members or associates of a white supremacist prison gang called the Aryan Circle have been indicted in Louisiana on federal charges in the 2016 killing of a fellow alleged member of the gang.

Court records unsealed on Tuesday show Jeremy Wade Jordan, 38, of Orange, Texas, pleaded guilty on March 2 to the first of two counts in his indictment. The first count in his Dec. 14 indictment charged Jordan with "violent crimes in aid of racketeering" in the murder of Clifton Hallmark in Evangeline Parish.

Jordan, whose case had remained under seal since December, is scheduled to be sentenced on June 18.

A separate indictment, also unsealed Tuesday, charges seven other people -- residents of Louisiana, Texas, Oklahoma or Arkansas -- with being accessories after the fact to the slaying. The two-page indictment, handed up last Thursday, says they helped Jordan "in order to hinder and prevent his apprehension, trial and punishment."

Read more: http://www.nola.com/crime/index.ssf/2018/03/8_indicted_in_white_supremacis.html

[font size="6"]And The Winner Is… [/font]

Oh man this was a close one. Looooooooosiana was the favorite here, but Florida completely routed them by a whopping 30 points. Florida wins and ironically celebrates by eating Popeye’s chicken. The final score is 99 – 67. Florida Man was on his A game this week and sharp shot his way to the top.

[font size="6"]Next Week [/font]

Next week we’re live at the home of the Los Angeles Chargers, Stub Hub Center, and it’s the final week of Round 1 and we’ve saved the best for last as last year’s world champion Texas goes batshit crazy against red hot Virginia, while the Mormons of Utah duke it out in a Family Values face off against the child brides of Missouri!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]The Decemberists[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest has a great new album called “I’ll Be Your Girl” and they are going to be seen on tour everywhere in March and April. Playing their song “Severed”, give it up for the Decemberists!

See you next week!


Host: Initech
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Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management

Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

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Reply Top 10 Conservative Idiots #4-12: Wheel Of Corruption & The Goblet Of Fire Edition (Original post)
Initech Apr 2018 OP
dembotoz Apr 2018 #1
Initech Apr 2018 #4
murielm99 Apr 2018 #2
malaise Apr 2018 #3
Initech Apr 2018 #5
malaise Apr 2018 #6
Initech Apr 2018 #7
malaise Apr 2018 #8
CaliforniaPeggy Apr 2018 #9

Response to Initech (Original post)

Wed Apr 4, 2018, 02:15 PM

1. stevens point grad...you can not imagine how i hate walker

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Response to dembotoz (Reply #1)

Wed Apr 4, 2018, 02:41 PM

4. My aunt recently moved out of Wisconsin, they hated Walker!

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Response to Initech (Original post)

Wed Apr 4, 2018, 02:22 PM

2. I haven't read the whole thing yet,

but I had to give it a rec.

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Response to Initech (Original post)

Wed Apr 4, 2018, 02:30 PM

3. Damn you're early today

Off to read

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Response to malaise (Reply #3)

Wed Apr 4, 2018, 02:43 PM

5. Yeah I have a Dr appointment at 2:00 so I wont be able to post at the regular time.

But I might move to 11:00 starting next week, this is the most recs I've got in several weeks!

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Response to Initech (Reply #5)

Wed Apr 4, 2018, 02:44 PM

6. Hope you get a clean bill of health

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Response to malaise (Reply #6)

Wed Apr 4, 2018, 02:46 PM

7. It's just a routine thing, nothing serious.

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Response to Initech (Reply #7)

Wed Apr 4, 2018, 02:47 PM

8. Great

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Response to Initech (Original post)

Wed Apr 4, 2018, 03:05 PM

9. A big, fat K&R!

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