Mitt applies for retirement

[Vox Moi]

HR Man: "Well, I see you want to retire. Congratulations! When is your effective date?"
Mitt: "Three years ago".
HR Man: "Forgive me. My belated congratulations. Well, now; what did you want to see me about?"
Mitt: "I want to retire".
HR Man: "Uh ... didn't you already do that?"
Mitt: "Well, anybody who says I didn't is just spreading lies."
HR Man: "OK then, what can I do for you?"
Mitt: "I want to retire three years ago."
HR Man: "You're retiring again? I do believe there is a company policy against retiring twice."
Mitt: "I'm not here to retire now and then. I'm only here to retire then."
HR Man: "Where were you then?"
Mitt: "Well, of course I was here."
HR Man: "But you are still here now."
Mitt: "What I mean is that I'm here now and I retired then."
HR Man: "So ... you want too re-apply?"
Mitt: "No, I'm retired."
HR Man: "Then what are you doing here?"
Mitt: "As I said, I want to retire."
HR Man: "I'm afraid that I'll have to ask you have to leave the building."
Mitt: "I own the company."
HR Man: "Why didn't you tell me? "
Mitt: "Because you weren't here before I left. Haven't spent a moment thinking about leaving since I decided to leave."
HR Man: "When did you decide to leave?"
Mitt: "Just now."
HR Man: "And you own the company now?"
Mitt: "Yes, I own the company now but I'm retiring then. Perhaps it would look better in your annual review if we just finished up here."
HR Man: "OK. After you retire I will not have worked for you for three years. Since I wasn't at the company back then your opinion on my review for the year I wasn't here won't count. I'll sign your retroactive retirement papers under one condition."
Mitt: "
HR Man. "I'll sign if you promise not to come back to retire again; not now, not anytime in the future and certainly not anytime before this."
Mitt: "Well, you know that I was too busy with the Olympics to see you then so seeing you before this is simply impossible."

[chollybocker]

1. Nice.

Shades of Monty Python's 'Argument Clinic.'

Mebbe you could add: HR Man presents Mitt with the proverbial gold watch; Mitt grabs the watch and frantically rewinds, rewinds, rewinds...