General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsWas Monica Lewinsky a victim of sexual harassment or
not since it was consensual contact?
Xipe Totec
(43,888 posts)On whether she actually felt she could say no without repercussions.
leftynyc
(26,060 posts)She went to the White House to have sex with Clinton, something about presidential kneepads. It was awful that her bad judgement was broadcast to the entire world as none of us deserve that but she was no victim. The only victim was the woman whose husband she blew.
Hortensis
(58,785 posts)Might consider the source. It's not Lewinsky, though she's no longer the heedless 22-year-old she was when their affair began.
When it was so extremely rudely interrupted, the roof fell in on her life, and now she looks back and realizes she was too inexperienced for the situation (not the sex presumably), while he did not have that excuse.
Here, she's actually gone out to stand in a public rope line so she could have some fun as he came by. There are other foolish exposures by someone who clearly had no real idea what could happen.
bettyellen
(47,209 posts)I think flashing your thong in the workplace would typically be considered harassment as well?
JustAnotherGen
(31,780 posts)She and I are the same age (born in 1973) -
I will always believe - she knew what she was doing. Now the power dynamic? That's a different story but -
She knew what a hook up was. She knew the meaning of 'hook up'. And I'm over the 'rich and powerful' idea. Power because of his position? Yes. But I was dating a Bill AND a Sabre (I was kind of a snot when I was younger) at the same time -
It was all fun and games.
It's just her game was with the wrong dude.
Wellstone ruled
(34,661 posts)both consenting Adults.
bottomofthehill
(8,317 posts)Never a good idea. Were they both willing, maybe, but it was and will never be seen by me as an even playing field.
MaryMagdaline
(6,850 posts)The imbalance of power is such that he gets to walk away without consequences; her life was destroyed.
bettyellen
(47,209 posts)EffieBlack
(14,249 posts)As I recall, he suffered some pretty serious consequences for that relationship.
bettyellen
(47,209 posts)played them. Im not absolving Clinton, but this was not workplace sexual harassment.
bettyellen
(47,209 posts)To be weaponized. Kinda childish, naive for sure. Tripp lead her down the wrong road. And I do think that once they made the mistake of screwing around, he had so much more to lose than she did. And she made him pay for it. Not exactly a healthy way to cope. I cant give her any awards for that.
JustAnotherGen
(31,780 posts)There was ONE bad actor in that situation. HIS name is Bill.
HRC and Lewinsky?
HRC did nothing wrong and owes no one any apologies.
Lewinsky didn't make a vow to Bill.
Bill made one to HRC.
Eliot Rosewater
(31,106 posts)Liberals hold liberals responsible for bad behavior.
Which we have done.
Should he be impeached? Of course not, but he should be held accountable and was.
And while I dont think he sexually assaulted anyone as I dont think Al Franken did, and we KNOW rump DID assault people, but the behavour by Bill over the years is wrong.
But common.
JustAnotherGen
(31,780 posts)Anyone in the media would give it air at this time? It's suspicious - you know Eliot? Like at no time did President Clinton fellate Putin or his Predecessor. He didn't get payoffs and bribes - no pay to play. He wasn't a traitor then and he's not a traitor now and the only President whose bad acts need to be discussed is 45/140.
Oh and he's broke - and Bill Clinton isn't. He's sooooooooooo broke that . . .
Eliot Rosewater
(31,106 posts)than any con. FAR better.
And he is the ONLY One they can point to of ANY wrongdoing, and it is having sex, and their side is FILLED to the rafters, so of course they talk about him
tblue37
(65,212 posts)Last edited Thu May 10, 2018, 07:04 PM - Edit history (1)
JustAnotherGen
(31,780 posts)If you play that game then . . .
True Dough
(17,246 posts)Middle-agers represent!
Jan. 30 for me. You?
JustAnotherGen
(31,780 posts)I'm not doing it.
True Dough
(17,246 posts)and I AM a "goodie goodie!"
3catwoman3
(23,943 posts)...underwear to anyone.
Orsino
(37,428 posts)She was too young and too new to the job to effectively navigate the power dynamics. What she thought she wanted, what she said she wanted and what actually happened may all be different things...but the common denominator was a weak-ass president who never should have permitted even the beginnings of intimacy with an employee.
They own their own choices, but we only elected one of them.
bettyellen
(47,209 posts)was pressured or wronged. Instead I see an adult who very freely made a bad decision, and another adult who went along with it. I think she understood the power dynamics pretty well when she tried to pressure him to continue the relationship and eventually exposed it. What I dont think she thought out were the consequences, but lots of adults donstuoid things too.
Orsino
(37,428 posts)The blame goes mostly to the prez who misused his.
bettyellen
(47,209 posts)There is a huge difference when its against your will. This affair was what she desired. I cant get behind claims that how it happened does not matter. It matters a hell of a lot to people who were actually pressured at the work place for sex, and punished for not going along.
She made huge mistakes, as did Bill and they both suffered the consequences. But she was an adult making choices too.
Orsino
(37,428 posts)It was a series of choices, with the president's by far being the worst.
bettyellen
(47,209 posts)I also think its a very very common thing for adults to do. But segments of society wanted vengeance, which they both could have predicted.
Orsino
(37,428 posts)...and if one weren't an intern working for the freakin' president. Whether or not either regrets the affair, it was on one side a terrible misuse of Executive power that set a terrible example for an entire branch of government.
bettyellen
(47,209 posts)held any power over her head. His power seemed to have attracted her. She continued to work for the government and was free to make her own choices. As a woman who worked w sleezeballs, thats what matters most to me.
Im not taking her free will from her, nor did Bill Clinton.
In her recounting of the story, shes the only one who pressured the other. The power dynamic had flipped and she threatened him. She was never lacking power or freedom.
Orsino
(37,428 posts)...given the likelihood that this was not a scene out of a sitcom in which two people suddenly melt into a passionate embrace. Presumably, it began with flirtation during wihich either party could have demurred. "She started it" would be a weak-ass defense, if he were claiming it as such. He had power over her and her job, and that she wasn't fired is not an indicator of free will.
Government employees are not supposed to have affairs with subordinates. It's bad for morale when inevitably revealed, and the possibility of coercion encourages others, less inclined to seek consent, to do likewise. I don't have a lot of sympathy for the poor old lonely president because that job is supposed to be lonely; everyone around you is supposed to address you as "sir," at least, and you have work to do running a branch of government that is supposed to strive for ethical behavior.
Most of the blame goes to the senior government official who, to a much greater degree than the intern, was well aware of what he should not do.
bettyellen
(47,209 posts)For literally exposing her ass to a coworker. Not the same as flirting, for fucks sake. She propositioned him.
Orsino
(37,428 posts)He had a lot, she had a little.
It's a couple of decades too late to attempt to litigate a workplace harassment claim, but we should always remember that in this matter, at least, Bill Clinton set a poor example for how to run a branch of government.
femmedem
(8,196 posts)as it would be to many young women. But he had a responsibility not to respond, regardless of who initiated it.
Tipperary
(6,930 posts)karynnj
(59,495 posts)It may show that the tone of the workplace was such that she felt this was something that would be ok. I wish - especially in retrospect - that Bill Clinton's reaction would have been to get her name from an aide - not directly - and told Rahm Emanuel to quietly tell her her internship was over, to go away, and not ask for any kind of reference from the White House. (She was just out of college, the step daughter of a very rich influential man - this would not have destroyed her career AND there would have been no intern scandal)
Her behavior was terrible, but Clinton's was worse as he had the trust of the people who voted for him and he should have been better than this. The cost to us was likely the loss in at least in 2000, where Bush, a mean drunk until he was 40 ran on bringing honor and decency back to the White House.
bettyellen
(47,209 posts)any way.
karynnj
(59,495 posts)It is likely she never anticipated that her actions would be such that they will define her for decades. To some real degree, her actions, Clinton's responses, the witch hunt mode the right was in then have made it impossible for her to have the life that she likely otherwise would have had. (Note: She herself has, at points, used that infamy to get attention, she is making things worse.)
As to Clinton, he has paid and will continue to pay a high price. On a personal level, he has to know how badly he hurt his wife and it is possible that he was one of many factors that can be said could have led to her loss. He also lost the last two years of his presidency to some degree. He was able to cartmentalize, but he clearly lost political capital. I don't know what he was unable to do, but I assume that something would have replaced that ugly subject.
Sadly, even as he still retains popularity from people who remember the charisma and hope, it might be that long term, the most known part of his legacy would be that he was impeached, but not removed. For himself, his wife, the Democratic party, the country and the world, it could have been so much better.
bettyellen
(47,209 posts)And people who put her there are not thinking of working women who are actually pressured. She is the one who pressured the relationship to continue, and who initiated it. It cheapens the fight against sexual harassment to try to include her, and others, who were instigators.
Ive no doubt Weinstein had women persue him too. Thats a shitty selfish choice that hurts other women, but its still a choice they made.
R B Garr
(16,950 posts)She should have been reported and fired.
It seems she had grandiose thoughts that Bill C's wife would move out of the White House and she would move in? It sounds like she was the harasser, quite the calculator. But Bill should have had her fired. Not all men would do that, and Bill wasn't one of them, apparently.
I'm so glad to read your post first on this thread, bettyellen! You nailed it again.
bettyellen
(47,209 posts)It pisses me off when people try to include this grown woman as a victim of harassment. If anything, she is the type who normalizes fucked up behavior in the workplace and makes it harder for the rest of us not to be viewed that way. From her own words, she flipped the power dynamic and pressured him- thats awful workplace behavior!
R B Garr
(16,950 posts)you said, making it harder for the rest of us. I can't imagine being the wife and thinking some predator was out to shake my world up by seducing my husband (edit, or an office co-worker and watching that dynamic of a woman showing her panties, ugh). I think most women/wives think that way and don't view her as a victim.
Sorry you had to go through that with your boss!
bettyellen
(47,209 posts)What he wants to is a dangerous recipe. He had a wife and kids, a mistress with another. About six months later I saw him... hed had a stroke. He caught my eye and it looked like he felt really guilty. I walked out before he could catch up with me. Im a tough girl but he had such a crappy impact on my life I was kind of terrorized just to see him again.
R B Garr
(16,950 posts)for necessities like rent or a car note and instead you are forced into no win situations that are disgusting and/or terrifying either way you go. That is real harassment.
Ive had a few ugly situations myself. And bizarre things one time a man called me at home in the evening and invited me to a bar for an interview. I had dropped off my resumethis was back in the day when you could still do that nothing was online. At least he made that one easy as there wasnt even any pretense. I remember feeling more sad than anything , sad as in feeling like I needed to be taken seriously to pay my bills.
bettyellen
(47,209 posts)time, I recognized him as someone who had been scoping me out the first time- when he didnt show up. Creepy as hell.
wasupaloopa
(4,516 posts)I am sure there are those who say Bill Clinton had power over her so it could not be consensual.
Still others would say Monica was an opportunist.
Yet there are those who say it was mutual consent so no harm no foul.
pnwmom
(108,954 posts)that she flashed her thong underwear and bare hip at him.
She issued the invite and he answered, yes!
Yupster
(14,308 posts)She was wrong for flashing and should have been talked to at least to never do that again.
He should have said no and warned someone to watch out for her.
An affair with the boss is wrong for so many reasons. What about the pretty intern working next to Monica who knows that the reason Monica got to travel on that trip or work that job was because she was sleeping with the boss. Is the other intern supposed to sleep with the boss too.
That's why bosses get fired for sleeping with employees. It's toxic for the work environment.
They were both wrong.
Back then the Democratic senators said he should have been officially sanctioned by the senate rather than impeached. I think they should have passed that motion whether he was impeached or not.
NCTraveler
(30,481 posts)The power difference was too great, it happened in the workplace, and I highly doubt she was able to think the consequences all of the way through at the time. That's not to say some around here weren't able to.
Came back to give this a rec. It's an important topic in everyday life.
lapfog_1
(29,189 posts)that she was going to get her "presidential knee-pads" on the gig.
Innocent victim... not so much.
OTOH, Clinton did abuse his position of authority over her... no one should engage in sex with a willing or unwilling subordinate.
so its a bit of a mixed bag.
When I was teaching college, I had more than one student make advances to me while I was their instructor. I rebuffed them all as per policy... not to mention it would have felt "creepy" to me.
OTOH, a female student of a different instructor (but taking the same course that I taught) met me via the teacher / student dynamic. After she had moved on to other courses we started dating. I married her when she graduated college (we are only 1 year apart in age).
lame54
(35,259 posts)mythology
(9,527 posts)He had a responsibility to say no.
kskiska
(27,045 posts)The deal was that either of them could stop it at any time. When he tried to, she began to make threats. That's when she was transferred to the Pentagon where she went on to become pregnant by an employee there in 1996 and underwent an abortion. It's in her book.
(excerpt)
Monica Lewinsky had a secret abortion as a result of her affair with a Pentagon employee in the midst of her scandalous fling with President Clinton, she reveals in her long-awaited book.
Lewinsky was traumatized by the experience but taunted Clinton with stories about the other man in her life, the book says.
She never told Clinton about the abortion and had to borrow money from an aunt to pay for it.
https://nypost.com/1999/03/04/monica-admits-she-had-a-secret-abortion-book-bares-her-fling-at-pentagon/
jrthin
(4,832 posts)a powerful person. There is power in youth (just as long as that youth is over 21).
Squinch
(50,901 posts)If it is consensual and both are adults, it isn't really up to us to say someone can't sleep with their boss.
lapfog_1
(29,189 posts)I think his place in History would be so much better had he kept his hands and other appendages to himself.
And we would never have had Bush 2... President Gore might have done something more significant on climate change AND avoided the Great Recession. Maybe. Would have avoided the Iraq war.
LenaBaby61
(6,972 posts)I don't know that we would have had a Pres. Gore.
Gore lost New Hampshire, which would have won him the presidency, and if that wasn't bad enough Florida was STOLEN from Gore/Dems by GOP'ers Jeb (Dubya's bro), Kathleen Harris and the Supreme Court. The 2016 election was stolen from Hillary/Dems by tRump, the ruskies and the GOP.
I'm hoping that the theft of 2 General Elections will be remembered in our nation's history. And, there should be NO WAY for us to forget this current tReasonous and worst shit hole in history tRumputin Administration, where we have the United States of America's first RUSSIAN president in our White House. Our foreign policy is being run by ex-KGB agent putin. And this crazy, right-winged, racist, deep state tRumputin byproduct mess is here with us to stay.
As for Bill and Monica.
Bill was a damn fool for getting with a 22 year old intern. He was president of the United States, 49 years old, possessing tremendous power and he should have known better. What in hell was he thinking? Monica was his subordinate.
As for Monica, I remember being 22 years old, and Monica's more bold than I ever was at that age. No way I would have flashed ANYTHING, let alone my thong at a President. When I was working, I was there to serve my patients, and give them the very best care possible. I wasn't at work to get my "groove on." I tend to put Bill/Monica's dalliance as consensual because both were adults, yet at the same time, both were DEAD wrong for what they did.
hlthe2b
(102,105 posts)So, while there was no presented evidence that she was coerced or faced promises of either positive or negative repercussions from someone who held an immense amount of power relative to her AND even though SHE never felt herself a victim, Clinton's behavior was walking that line as closely as possible to track. Surely it COULD have resulted in sexual harassment charges had she felt inclined to bring them. Had it been someone that was predisposed to cause Clinton "harm", things could have turned out quite differently--even that many years ago.
pnwmom
(108,954 posts)Yes, there was a power mismatch, but he didn't take advantage of her. He answered her invitation.
elocs
(22,540 posts)that it was consensual. We are very forgiving of our own though. Lewinsky was an intern and Clinton was the President of the United States--not exactly equal in power, were they?
Of course it was sexual harassment.
JI7
(89,239 posts)And it was consensual
elocs
(22,540 posts)But then Bill Clinton never claimed to be resolute of pure as driven snow.
If it is one of our own though and sexual harassment comes up we do like to make excuses for them, but pronounce them guilty beyond a doubt if they are a Republican.
JI7
(89,239 posts)leftynyc
(26,060 posts)Were victims. Both showed horrendous judgement. But they were both consenting adults. The only victim was the woman who was cheated on.
JI7
(89,239 posts)mythology
(9,527 posts)Makes life much simpler.
IluvPitties
(3,181 posts)You know how many relationships have developed from such dynamics? Some last, some don't.
Arkansas Granny
(31,505 posts)earn her Presidential knee pads, combined with flashing her thong at Bill, it's hard for me to see her as a victim. That does not mean that I condone Bill's behavior, which was inappropriate, to say the least. In the end, it was a consensual relationship that ended badly for all involved, including the American people.
jrthin
(4,832 posts)GoCubsGo
(32,073 posts)She was happy to be in that relationship, until everyone found out about it and put her in the spotlight, so it wasn't "harassment." It was just plain, old "I'm led around by my dick" stupidity on Clinton's part. I don't recall that he ever threatened or pressured her in any way.
Stallion
(6,473 posts)there are many happy couples who met at work in these situations. When you take the humanity completely out of human relationships I think the concept goes too far. Here's some numbers;
16% met their spouses at work
50%+ have dated a co-worker
those numbers are broken down further in the link
http://www.businessinsider.com/surprising-office-romance-statistics-2016-2
IluvPitties
(3,181 posts)It happened to me.
Squinch
(50,901 posts)inherently ethically wrong about them if both parties welcome the relationship.
Orsino
(37,428 posts)...the poorer an idea it is. The example we're discussing is among the poorest.
DemocratSinceBirth
(99,708 posts)To meet the legal definition there must be a hostile work environment or a quid pro quo demand for sex.
Response to BigmanPigman (Original post)
.99center This message was self-deleted by its author.
LAS14
(13,769 posts)... what it is, but unless the power is used to pressure consent then it shouldn't be an issue. Does the White House have one of those stupid infantilizing rules about a subordinate and his/her boss can't have a relationship?
LanternWaste
(37,748 posts)Lewinsky explaining her various evolution on the matter, of which she still does not have an absolute conclusion writes...
"But its also complicated. Very, very complicated. The dictionary definition of consent? To give permission for something to happen. And yet what did the something mean in this instance, given the power dynamics, his position, and my age? Was the something just about crossing a line of sexual (and later emotional) intimacy? (An intimacy I wanted with a 22-year-olds limited understanding of the consequences.) He was my boss. He was the most powerful man on the planet. He was 27 years my senior, with enough life experience to know better. He was, at the time, at the pinnacle of his career, while I was in my first job out of college. (Note to the trolls, both Democratic and Republican: none of the above excuses me for my responsibility for what happened. I meet Regret every day.)
This (sigh) is as far as Ive gotten in my reevaluation; I want to be thoughtful. But I know one thing for certain: part of what has allowed me to shift is knowing Im not alone anymore. And for that I am grateful.
She is still examining it in depth (as are we). I'm in no position to tell her what she experienced was, or was not, sexual harassment. She will arrive at her conclusion without my assistance.
Arkansas Granny
(31,505 posts)take your adult knocks if you make a bad decision.
I don't know about others on this board, but at age 22 I was married, a mother of two and running my own household. I knew that having an affair with a married man, regardless of our age difference or my own marital status, would have been a bad idea.
Lochloosa
(16,057 posts)IluvPitties
(3,181 posts)At 22, you should know how to manage your sexuality.
Stallion
(6,473 posts)part of equality in the workplace is taking responsibility when you are placed in that job. We've had generations of laws protecting the "weaker sex" which really served to patronize women
MichMan
(11,864 posts)Arkansas Granny
(31,505 posts)They have been treated as adults, however, since they were in their late teens.
JI7
(89,239 posts)jobs etc.
that doesn't mean 22 don't have other responsibilities.
Squinch
(50,901 posts)I wonder if there is any way for her to separate the trauma of that assaultive and total invasion of privacy from the affair itself.
kskiska
(27,045 posts)and show up at rope lines, in at least one instance to grope his crotch as he reached over to shake hands with others.
(excerpt)
It is something about the way that Lewinsky is at once so girlish and so brazen that she "playfully" grabs the president's crotch while he is working a rope line, according to the report, but is also so unsure of herself, so filled with need, that she is capable of going "ballistic" when she is ignored.
"I'm an insecure person," Lewinsky is reported to have said; she also reportedly showed up for one tryst at the White House without underwear. She's a person who boasted to her friends of her sexual appetite -- "I was soooo naughty," she writes in an e-mail about a new escapade, not with the president -- and in one note even invited Clinton to a tryst with a reminder of FDR's liaison's with mistress Lucy Mercer.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/style/daily/beverly0923.htm
pnwmom
(108,954 posts)at him.
She started it and was a fully engaged partner. Then she went and bragged about it to a friend.
He was STUPID, but she was NOT a victim.
unblock
(52,113 posts)It's certainly a bad idea for a boss to engage in sexual activity with a workplace subordinate because the subordinate might not feel free to say no. So the boss really has to presume any such activity would be unethical no matter what the subordinate says at the time.
In this case, call it luck or a good read or whatever, but she never said it was under any pressure so it wasn't harassment.
Even so, it's still a bad idea because others in the workplace might then feel pressure to engage in similar activity to get any workplace rewards she might have gotten.
So I would still call it inappropriate even if it's not, strict speaking, sexual harassment.
Note that when I say "inappropriate", I mean enough so that it could still lead to creating a hostile work environment, so a company that allows such activity could easily be in legal hot soup even if the participants in the sexual activity say there was no harassment.
Grammy23
(5,810 posts)with the Big Dog and he rarely turned down an offer of sex (or sexlike behavior) if he was in the mood (apparently rather frequently), then this fling between the two of them should not surprise anyone. There was bad judgment on both sides of that equation. Perhaps Clinton deserves more of the bad press because of his age and the dangerous consequences that could and did happen once it was revealed. But Monica was no angel as she she knew what she was doing since Clintons reputation as a womanizer was well known. When she flashed her thong, she probably had a clue what would happen next.
So the two of them tangoed and got caught. Bill had some punishment and a red face moment or two. But Monica was branded and forever wears the mark of shame, while Bill has gone on to bigger and better things. That pretty much seems to be way things go until recently. When enough times goes by well see what happens to both parties involved in these kinds of affairs in the age of learning the difference between harassment and consensual sex.
4139
(1,893 posts)😀
Ps: first and only marriage for both of us.
LAS14
(13,769 posts)djg21
(1,803 posts)Not only was Clinton her boss, but he was President of the United States. Im not suggesting that Lewinsky was not a consensual participant, but any objectively reasonable young woman (or man) in her circumstances would have had difficulty withholding consent from Mr. Clinton, which would have risked her continuing employment and any possible references or political appointment she aspired to. If it werent Clinton, but a CEO of a company, there very likely would have been a Title VII lawsuit alleging quid pro quo sexual harassment, and a sizable settlement would have been paid out to Ms. Lewinsky. Ms. Lewinsky may not have exercised great judgment, but she has paid dearly for that youthful lapse for over 20 years. I feel sorry for her.
LAS14
(13,769 posts)Orsino
(37,428 posts)What the fuck is a goddamned president doing, being alone with an intern? What the fuck was his more senior staff not doing, that Lewinsky was needed anywhere near him?
IluvPitties
(3,181 posts)Either one of them could have said no. They didn't. You might regret it later, but that's life.
LisaL
(44,972 posts)At least at the time. But yea, lets make her a victim while we are at it.
politicaljunkie41910
(3,335 posts)and it was not Bill Clinton. When she flashed her thong covered ass at the president in a hallway, she was signaling that she was a volunteer, not a victim. She also was over the age of consent, and Bill Clinton was not the first married man she had an affair with. She also had an affair with a college professor at the college she attended, while working for him in his home babysitting his and his wife's children in their home. This was prior to going to D.C. as a volunteer intern. She saw what she wanted in both cases and she went after it.
If she was victimized by anyone it was Linda Tripp who she thought was her friend, and who she told every detail of her affair with the president. Tripp betrayed her by telling all her secrets to Lucianne Goldberg, a repub who published a gossip website and spilled all the beans.
djg21
(1,803 posts)There is no credible argument to the contrary. I may directly report to my boss, but ultimately, I have to answer to the person at the top of the organizational chart, and if I displease that person, my employment is in jeopardy. It is no different when serving as an employee or intern for an elected official. You ultimately serve at the will of that official, who has the authority to direct that you be terminated.
When Lewinsky flashed her thong, she displayed a lack of decorum that was professionally inappropriate and unacceptable. Clinton should have known better, and should have directed that she be transferred, disciplined or fired. He stepped into it when he got involved with her. What if she had a change of heart after flashing her thong? Was she not allowed to say no? Could she have said no if she wanted to?
pnwmom
(108,954 posts)I don't feel one bit sorry for her. Till sometime very recently, she argued all along that she was a fully consenting adult, and this all started when she pulled down the top edge of her skirt and showed him her thong underwear.
RhodeIslandOne
(5,042 posts)She wanted to have sex with Clinton before she was even on the job.
stevenleser
(32,886 posts)You can ask whether Bill Clinton consented or not since he was the person propositioned.
IluvPitties
(3,181 posts)comradebillyboy
(10,128 posts)Monica was victimized by Ken Starr and her 'friend' Linda Tripp as well as Maureen Dowd and the NYT.
StevieM
(10,500 posts)That is not sexual harassment IMO.
Bill can be criticized for the relationship, but that doesn't make it harassment.
pandr32
(11,548 posts)frogmarch
(12,153 posts)Blue_Tires
(55,445 posts)Which angle of this story has not already been analyzed ad nauseam?
moriah
(8,311 posts)That's essentially what it boils down to.
I put more blame on Bill because he was older and should have known better.
But what happened as a result of the affair to Monica? Having to be relocated because the affair was going to come out certainly protected Bill, and at least she wasn't completely fired, but still, she technically lost her job. Becoming a punchline? That all sucked. Far more than the "crime" of screwing around with your boss deserves.
Bill was the one with enough life experience to have foreseen these issues. That's why I blame him more. But Mom taught me that line when I was a teenager. In general, it's good advice.
Now, why on earth are we talking about this?
aikoaiko
(34,161 posts)If I recall correctly...
When the relationship was over, Monica had to leave and was moved out to a less prestigious posting.
When the relationship was discovered, Monica was made to be the liar.
What the relationship was proven true, Monica was made to look like a bad woman.
Sometimes things start consensually but then the relationship ends up hurting the less powerful subordinate. Of course, Bill was made to pay a price, too.
Ultimately, it was Bill's responsibility to not get in a relationship with a subordinate because it was a conflict of interest on his part.
nolabear
(41,930 posts)And I dont mean a broken, deeply dependent one; that is a clear issue. But its important to recognize that feelings happen that MUST not be acted upon and the imbalance of power is huge even when its not terribly obvious.
I think this applies. He was in a job that leads to fantasies and the desire to be deemed desirable by a powerful person. She was young and vulnerable and I dont care if she stripped naked and danced on the desk. His job was to be the adult and say no.
EffieBlack
(14,249 posts)Just a note for future reference...
See my post downthread -- a distillation, if you will, of having watched this unfold as an adult.
Raine
(30,540 posts)after Clinton but he should've had nothing to do with her. I've heard she went after others too but they saw her for what she was and turned her down. I blame both but blame Bill more, he was older and in a postion of authority and should've known better.
Bluesaph
(703 posts)Dated a teacher. She was a senior and after graduation they got married. Still married and grandparents now.
My opinion is that Monica was not a victim. She got what she wanted. Bill was an idiot and got hooked by her bait. Hes guilty of being disloyal and being stupid.
Monica is guilty of baiting him, a married man and then when he tried to break it off she ratted.
betsuni
(25,367 posts)Followed him when he left California. She set out to seduce Bill and he was stupid and weak getting involved with her.
dansolo
(5,376 posts)She initiated the relationship, and went into the job intending to try and seduce him. Bill Clinton was an idiot, and the relationship was inappropriate, but this was in no way harassment.
And while we are talking about the "power dynamic", once the relationship started that dynamic changed, because she had the ability to threaten to reveal what happened.
Orsino
(37,428 posts)forthemiddle
(1,375 posts)No one can say that she didn't go into it totally willingly, but we can also say that this affair ruined (or at least drastically changed) her life.
Even today, she still gets disinvited from things, while he gets adoration, and that is sad.
I honestly don't think she was emotionally ready for the affair, and for that I do blame him 100%. Even though she came onto him, it was his responsibility as her boss to end it before it began.
So although it wasn't harassment, he did take advantage of her, and that is NEVER right.
Le Gaucher
(1,547 posts)While Monica Lewinsky probably had a crush on Clinton .. it was his job to put space between them. He would do that if had respected himself and loved Hillary. Monica gave him attention and he encouraged her.
So totally Bill Clinton's fault.
ismnotwasm
(41,956 posts)She also says something to the effect that she felt her youth and inexperience was taken advantage of, but that she takes responsibility for her own actions. Bill Clinton may have been a brilliant man on several levels,but he was also a pig. I never voted for him. I remember thinking Hillary must have stayed with him out of a love of country they were powerful people, and the Republicans went after them with everything they had.
Interesting Republicans ended up to electing a clear reflection of themselves like Trump, who is a much bigger pig than Bill Clinton
Mike Nelson
(9,942 posts)...behaved poorly, in my opinion. I do feel a little more sorry for her because she doesn't get the same pass a young man would get... young women are not expected to be as sexually active... and are made to feel ashamed for enjoying the sexual act - oral sex - she performed.
Hekate
(90,529 posts)Last edited Fri May 11, 2018, 05:02 PM - Edit history (1)
She was a vey foolish young woman, naively believing she could pull the same tricks with the leader of the free world that she had pulled on her college deans -- even boasting about her plans to her college friend. Naive, but not innocent. Young, but over the age of consent by quite a few years.
He was an older man at the vortex of world power, surrounded by people who had already spent years trying to destroy him and his wife. Brilliant, really brilliant, but driven by inexplicable (to me) impulses more suited to a teenage boy. She came on to him, flashing her thong at him in the office, and he was too self-indulgent to ask her to leave and tell his people to reassign her ass to the political equivalent of Siberia.
Victimhood? Oh, please. She asked. He answered.
Both of these fools -- and Hillary, who did nothing wrong -- ended up being victimized by the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy and Kenneth Starr.
The POTUS survived, barely. The Intern was damaged for life, by her account. Some behaviors have consequences far beyond what you would imagine -- kind of like drinking at a party and driving afterward. It was fun while it lasted, but then there was the pileup in which someone was killed and someone was crippled for life, and people end up before a judge saying they didn't mean for any of that bad stuff to happen.
LAS14
(13,769 posts)Miles Archer
(18,837 posts)I've not seen anything in the decades that have followed to suggest it was anything other than consensual.
UpInArms
(51,279 posts)and was the initiator ...
am thinking ... not
Yavin4
(35,419 posts)common. Sometimes it worked out, but mostly, it did not. Men see this a perk of being powerful in an organization. Things changed a little after Anita Hill. Firms became more aggressive about this behavior. You had to sign a consent document with HR if you chose to have a relationship in the office. Today, the MeToo movement has thrown even more cold water on this.
Sexual harassment is defined as unwanted romantic/sexual attention or a quid pro quo for career advancement. I don't see that in this case, but Bill did take advantage of his power over a young woman. Bad judgment? Yes. Sexual harassment? No.
LAS14
(13,769 posts)onecent
(6,096 posts)WhiteTara
(29,692 posts)intent on the then president as her prey. Sometimes I think she was a republicon plant, Bill did have a willy problem and she used it.
disillusioned73
(2,872 posts)young women taken advantage of.. yes, in a way. People that blame Lewinsky & absolve Clinton are just being disingenuous.. I see it on twitter a lot..