Wow; for anyone who has ever had to deal with

[Sailor65x1]

Terrible difficulties with one or both parents, and the long-term effects. My best friend just sent me this link. It gives me a new appreciation of Kafka.

https://www.brainpickings.org/2015/03/05/franz-kafka-letter-father/

From the editorial commentary: "After all, the most devastating pathology of such relationships is the child’s compulsive effort — be it by vain hope or by concrete action — to eradicate the abusive parent’s demons and make the paltry angels endure, only to be disappointed over and over again every time the demons re-rear their undying heads."

[WhiteTara]

1. Thank you. This post answers the questions

of another DUer and her parents. Glad you're on board!

[Sailor65x1]

2. You're welcome. That's why she sent it to me

Even though his letter is written to his father, this can so easily apply to and explain things with either or both parents.

[WhiteTara]

3. And what happens to the child

who has unconditional love for their parents. If course, with constant abuse and cruelty, we learn to cringe.

[cpamomfromtexas]

9. You are so right

[The Blue Flower]

4. My parents are both long gone but...

Their problems have reared their ugly head in my adult sister. I moved across the country so we could be closer in our retirement years, but her inability or unwillingness to confront those demons in herself have made a relationship impossible. I spent decades working on myself. First for self-awareness, then for inner healing. It's been quite painful, but I am finding my way in a new place without her, even as she smears me to her circle of friend with lies to justify her own bad behavior toward me. Emotionally, she's our dad all over again.

[Sailor65x1]

5. I am sorry; I think that happens often

My sister might be somewhat like yours.

[fierywoman]

6. Kudos to you for the long hard work you did with yourself!

[The Blue Flower]

7. Thank you

I'm grateful for the long, hard climb. I'm a better person for it.

[cpamomfromtexas]

8. I hope I am successful at dealing with this. Still in the

Shock and struggle phase. I am in panic mode quite a lot and I know it is because of long term abuse. As a kid I was so afraid of him. You never knew what could happen so I was alway hyper vigilant.

[WhiteTara]

10. I have 4 sisters and

it's fairly impossible for me to be around any of them. They are cruel and manipulative.

[The Blue Flower]

11. It helps to hear that

Truly. Thanks for sharing.