Sick of the "make your abusers comfortable" arguments from "liberals"

[blueseas]

I’ve heard it in more personal contexts over the last few weeks, and just a few minutes ago I opened an email from “People’s Action” that propagates the myth that abusers can become your friends if you’re just kind enough to them and give them what they want: to feel big, strong, powerful, comfortable, and “whole” or other words for happy or satisfied.

Talk of offering “a better option” to them and taking pains to make them not feel like they have to “reject Trump” or “admit he’s wrong” or “face their behavior” is dangerous, self-harming, self-destructive talk that enables abuse to continue, because it’s completely ineffective and gives them the sense that voting for Trump is the right choice because now you’re groveling or pandering to them.

You can’t satisfy a supremacist or a narcissist, or people who are devoted allies to them. Your very existence upsets them. Being kind to them, bleeding for them, and even sacrificing your life for them either won’t result in them feeling anything positive toward you, or will result in a blip of positivity that will quickly be replaced by yet another expression of rage and yet another instance of abuse.

Martin Luther King Jr.’s words about love defeating hate don’t apply to supremacists and narcissists, or to people who are devoted to them. Those kinds of “bullies” don’t “bully” because they are seeking to fill a need for a social relationship with an authority figure. Those “bullies” aren’t “hurt people who hurt people.” Assholes like that enjoy being assholes, and that’s why they gravitate toward each other and commit abuse in packs. They are driven by lust for inflicting violence on others, by lust for control, and by lust for personal excess.

https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2018/8/11/1787482/-Sick-of-the-make-your-abusers-comfortable-arguments-from-liberals

[Thomas Hurt]

1. You can't fix magical thinkers...

[Me.]

2. You Can't Be Friends With People Who Want To Hurt You

[radical noodle]

15. I learned that in first grade

It's like beating your head against a wall.

[Paladin]

3. Nicely put.

trump worshippers deserve our scorn and dismissal. Under no circumstances do they deserve any attempts at gentle redemption from us.

[AnotherMother4Peace]

4. A GOP mouthpiece was reminding Democrats that they're supposed to "high" just now on TV, and to

remember what Michelle Obama said, actually quoting her. I'm all for going high with normal, rational people, but not for people who want to do me harm. Reminds of Bob Dylan's "As I Went Out One Morning (to breathe the air around Tom Paine"

I offer'd her my hand
She took me by the arm
I knew that very instant
She meant to do me harm

[Corgigal]

6. I love the Obamas

but they are rich, have wonderful private security and don't have to live around these nuts. Almost any country would take them, if they wanted to move. Good for them.

However, we regular folks are stuck around these bullies from the playground, and we have to deal.

[AnotherMother4Peace]

7. The Obamas have the best qualities found in humanity - Fine, gracious, kind people. Badass too,

They took down Bin Laden! The US now has a new destructive enemy from within. An enemy that wants to do us considerable harm at their own expense. How does one defend against this threat. I'm tired of being beat up and robbed, and watching them tear down this country that generations of my family have fought to save and build.

And to have GOP mouthpieces quoting Michelle, and reminding us to "go high". I'm not having it.

[EndGOPPropaganda]

10. Yes shutting us up is a BS rightwing talking point now

The GOP goal right now is to prevent Americans from rising up their voices against corruption and Russia and hate and racism.
Because the GOP wants to jam in another unqualified SCOTUS Justice .

[CrispyQ]

5. Their continued support of this vile, vulgar man is leaving a mark--on them. -nt

[lillypaddle]

8. Your first mistake

was getting on their email list. The second mistake was opening the email.

[LiberalLovinLug]

9. What is rarely brought up is all those GOP voters that put George W in office

Not during, but after W left office, the criticisms of his push to invade Iraq increased. Started to even be heard from some on the right. To the point where he wasn't even invited to the next Republican convention, nor Cheney. Nor the following convention. That was astonishing to me. I don't know why it wasn't even talked about much.

Democrats have always been proud to bring back former Democratic Presidents to speak at their conventions, Carter, Clinton, and Obama too I'm sure.

What does that tell you? Their present Republican in office has even publicly smeared the Bush name and the decision to invade Iraq.

What I am getting at is how Republican voters are easily molded and re-molded. From one year almost worshiping W and viciously defending him against any criticism by "angry liberals". To agreeing with their new Dear Leader about W or at most, almost forgetting he existed at all.

And it makes it frustrating to fight against that. Because they will keep moving the goalposts and not feel the slightest twinge of hypocrisy or unease. So they will fight tooth and nail and maybe even with a few AR-15s for Trump. But if even the best case comes true, and Trump is shamed out of office, charged with crimes etc...past history shows that his voters will be able to simply be steered away from that and towards the next best fascist to run. That there will never be an "AHA" moment with that crowd.

[wishstar]

13. Trump Republicans are demonizing John McCain too

because McCain dared to speak out against Trump and Russia collusion and voted down repealing ACA and has spoken against Trump immigration policies and of course against torture. I have seen articles by rightwingers who once supported McCain/Palin now accusing McCain of purposely allowing Obama to win the election in 2008. The same rightwingers who used to worship Bush never mention him and instead pretend that Obama caused and presided over the economic collapse and was at fault for Iraq fallout.

[LiberalLovinLug]

14. Another good example

[Solly Mack]

11. You don't feed the hand that bites you.

[Bernardo de La Paz]

12. Ignoring idiots is a good strategy. Hating them is toxic to the hater; bad for own health.

Where there is real abuse, document it and invoke authorities like social workers and police and FBI.

If attacked, run. If cornered, fight. Never get into a car when you don't want to.

[Habibi]

16. +1! nt