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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsThe Rude Pundit: The Real Reason Mitt Romney Is Losing and Will Lose
If he were a better man, Mitt Romney would have one of those dark mornings of the soul. He would wake up after a bender on virgin appletinis (known as "apple juice in a fancy glass" to the rest of us), unshaven, viciously moussed hair disheveled, and stagger into the bathroom in only his magic underwear. He'd tiredly root around for his penis and take a sputtering leak, as befits a man of his years. Then he'd look in the mirror, trying to remember what he did the previous night. He'd think about all the conflicting promises he made to donors, all the people he pretended to like. As he stared deeper into his bloodshot, sinking eyes, no longer assisted by copious amounts of highlighter, he might think about the past, think about how he made his money, how he spent it, how he didn't care about all the people who fell by the wayside in his march to demonstrate that he was the king of profiting from the ruins of others, a fancy junkyard salesman who occasionally repurposed the heaps of metal into a working mousetrap, but was just as likely to merely polish the garbage and sell it. Yes, if Mitt Romney were another kind of man, an honestly self-reflective man, he might stare in the mirror, think about why most predictions were that he would lose the election that he had spent over half a decade running for, ponder the situation he found himself in, question his very existence, and conclude, "I am really a dick."
As people begin to write pre-mortem postmortems of Mitt Romney's campaign, you're going to see many question why and how, how in the world, indeed, could a candidate of Romney's vintage be losing. There will be conservatives who are smug about Romney having never been a true crazy right-winger. There will be conservatives who try to throw him a life preserver, like bald demon Reihad Salam at CNN, whose "Why Mitt Romney Is Losing" editorial is full of floaties. For instance, Salam posits a fantasy Romney, one who actually comes up with plans to, say, regulate banks once the weak Dodd-Frank bill is burned by some fantasy Congress. On the left, Charles Blow in the New York Times says of the one-term governor's strategy of just plain, fucking lying about what Barack Obama is doing, "Romney has to find a line of attack that works because there is a creeping feeling beginning to overtake part of the electorate that his candidacy is in trouble. The problem is that these sorts of desperate, baseless attacks only amplify the sense of panic."
But there's one overriding reason that Romney's candidacy was doomed: he is a completely unlikeable prick. And, unlike the fake self-aware Romney above, he doesn't give a shit that he's an unlikeable prick. In the world he existed in before running for president, one can be admired for dealing with others as an unfeeling asshole. That might be how cutthroat investment schemers work, but Romney is fast learning that people are not corporations. We give a damn who we're dealing with and who's fucking us over, and anyone who isn't so deluded by swallowing the Rush Limbaugh chowder on Obama or just being plain racist can see that Mitt Romney is not only not someone you'd want to have a beer with, but he's someone who, given the right circumstances and the right bar, you'd want to punch in the nose for being such a self-righteous cock.
Now, how do you, if you are Mitt Romney, overcome that? Well, short answer is "You don't."
The long answer is that you need to have something that mitigates your innate dickishness. A compelling back story? Um, "privileged son of a politician who bullied his classmates at prep school and who, while Americans his age were bleeding out on rice paddies in Vietnam, spent over two years living in a lovely mansion in France and trying to cajole Parisians into becoming Mormons" doesn't work.
You could have a demonstrated record of doing something other than making money for rich people. Sure, you could push the Olympics experience, but that just makes you look like an asshole for placing yourself above the athletes. A better man, which you are not, could say that providing health insurance for most everyone in Massachusetts is a pretty awesome accomplishment, but your weaselly refusal to say it's a generally good thing just reconfirms that you are a craven, power hungry dickhead.
You could offer a real reason why you want to be president. But other than "That Obama sure sucks," you have offered no reason other than an inferred "Boy, I'd make a great president, for sure." And, again, that seeming expectation, that feeling of inevitability, of both your nomination and your win? That just makes you seem like the awful human being you really are.
A secret source of the Rude Pundit's (yeah, fuck you, Politico, the Rude Pundit's got those, too) said they recently spoke to a bunch of Republican officials who are genuinely embarrassed that they have to support Mitt Romney. One can only imagine the pain of having to grit one's teeth and say that the giant peckerwood next to you should lead the nation. Christ, Romney is such a stiff tool that he makes Bob Dole look like a charmer.
No, this isn't the most sophisticated analysis. But why bother when the conclusion is so obvious? The fact is that most of you reading this, on the left or right, are coming up with another dozen ways that demonstrate Romney is an unbelievable putz. If nothing else, Romney's pricktastic ego and endless supply of money will make the next few months amusing, as he degrades himself and his party further and further with such unsubtle, obvious lies that at some point the word "liar" sticks even more than "dick."
http://rudepundit.blogspot.com/2012/08/the-real-reason-mitt-romney-is-losing.html
louis-t
(23,273 posts)uponit7771
(90,304 posts)...same
catbyte
(34,341 posts)that he thinks insulting people is a great icebreaker. He does it all the time. The cookies. The raincoats. Then there's the replicant-with-a-faulty-personality-chip smalltalk. The round chocolate pastry-type items (i.e. doughnuts). Trees are the right height. It's snowing powdered sugar. The Olympics. It goes on and on.
It is stunning that he is this socially inept after a decade of grooming himself to be president--it started with the SLC Olympics. I read an article in Salon about Ann Romney convincing Mitt to take the Olympics job because it would better help him "fulfill his "destiny" of running the country. Ugh. Jesus Christ, Mitt. You're rich enough, take some fucking charm school classes. This election would be a lot closer if people even remotely liked him. Boo freaking hoo.
Diane
Anishinaabe in MI & mom to Taz, Nigel, and new baby brother Sammy, members of Dogs Against Romney, Cat Division
"Dogs Arent Luggage--HISS!
LynneSin
(95,337 posts)He's a DOUCHEBAG!
hifiguy
(33,688 posts)"But there's one overriding reason that Romney's candidacy was doomed: he is a completely unlikeable prick. And, unlike the fake self-aware Romney above, he doesn't give a shit that he's an unlikeable prick."
Perfect.
NRaleighLiberal
(60,009 posts)Hissyspit
(45,788 posts)"a fancy junkyard salesman who occasionally repurposed the heaps of metal into a working mousetrap, but was just as likely to merely polish the garbage and sell it."
Perfect metaphor for Willard's illustrious business career.
He sniffs the air, suffused with the stench of the rotting corpses of those he discarded and trampled and says, "Ahh - smells like victory."
1StrongBlackMan
(31,849 posts)I love his stuff.
Raster
(20,998 posts)...inhabiting the White House. I have no desire to live under the mandate of Salt Lake City. But with each passing day, I cringe a bit less, because I've realized Rmoney does not have a snowball's chance in hell to win the election. I realize that all the rethuglican dirty electoral tricks and frauds will not change Rmoney into something likeable or electable. And I rejoice.
Hissyspit
(45,788 posts)malaise
(268,724 posts)Beautiful
turtlerescue1
(1,013 posts)Perfect.
aquart
(69,014 posts)I've learned not to believe anyone's going to win until the SCOTUS tells me.
mountain grammy
(26,599 posts)It can be weird and scary out there, don't take anything for granted.
speedoo
(11,229 posts)He had things to run on, Romney has nothing.
smirkymonkey
(63,221 posts)I think Nixon was paranoid and deluded, Romney is willfully hateful, egotistical, entitled and greedy - and he thinks those are his best qualities.
tomp
(9,512 posts)trof
(54,256 posts)mountain grammy
(26,599 posts)"But, really, the question is, "Why don't you go fuck yourself?'" Everytime mittens is asked questions, I think of this line from one of Rude's blogs and laugh. Thank you, Rude Pundit.
VOX
(22,976 posts)Whoever it is, the VP candidate will be a King or Queen asshole. The lower half of the GOP ticket will be chosen to counteract Mitten's "centrism" (hah!), and will pose and spout some seriously weird, hateful teabagger fuck-you shit.
maddiemom
(5,106 posts)In talking to those supporting Romney, I'm continually amazed at the lack of enthusiasm for the candidate on the part of those planning to vote for him. It seems to be mainly "He's not Obama."
randome
(34,845 posts)If the GOP had central leadership, they would find a way to foist Romney on us despite his shortcomings.
But the Tea Party is tearing up the place. The GOP doesn't know which way to pivot so they flounder. That's why this is the best chance we have in decades to put them down.
eridani
(51,907 posts)--he's WHITE! And there will always be Republicans as long as there is hate and fear to be exploited for political gain.
Lugnut
(9,791 posts)Aristus
(66,294 posts)(Love Stephanie Miller's nickname for the Rude One...)
Well said!
thelordofhell
(4,569 posts)mike_c
(36,270 posts)Yes indeed.
HiPointDem
(20,729 posts)machine, not about personalities. Americans have no idea what romney's actual personality is, or why he does what he does.
but the media keeps telling us these stories about "personality".
Duchess St.Rollins
(74 posts)...rocks the hardest! And, "pricktastic..."
Romney is a pricktastic, dicktacular disaster, indeed.
RevStPatrick
(2,208 posts)That Rude fella sure has a way with words.
So do you, from what I hear!
Duchess St.Rollins
(74 posts)vlyons
(10,252 posts)but once I saw him turn his back on his Mass healthcare reform, I knew that he was a dick. And his bullshit explanation that Romneycare was ok for Mass but not for other states, simply left me flabbergasted. What kind of phoney-baloney argument is that. Then the whole bit about lowering taxes on the rich SOME MORE!!! and embrace of the Ryan budget, and turning his back on pro-choice for women, and just about every other position that he ever held just to pander to the right wing crazies and creationist southern Baptists, well it pretty much revealed what a horrible candidate he was. As much of a clown as Santorum is, Rick was right about Romney being a real dork. I know that we're not supposed to use the Nazi label on anything other than the real historic Nazis, but really!! Romney's dissembling and big lies have got to be right up there with Goebbels and Nixon.
The Republican pros have got to be sick to their stomachs over such an unworthy candidate. The smart ones, like Jeb Bush are laying low and How they can stand up there and go rah-rah Romney must make them want to vomit. But they don't. Which just shows how totally bankrupt is the Republican brand.
ananda
(28,837 posts).. he's trying to run FOR the teabaggers
ON a moderate record.
Reep winners these days tend to be teabaggers
from the getgo.
rurallib
(62,387 posts)Lizzie Poppet
(10,164 posts)99Forever
(14,524 posts)calimary
(81,127 posts)"Romney has to find a line of attack that works because there is a creeping feeling beginning to overtake part of the electorate that his candidacy is in trouble. The problem is that these sorts of desperate, baseless attacks only amplify the sense of panic."
Impressions that sink into the public psyche can be VERY lasting.
geardaddy
(24,926 posts)Riverman
(796 posts)Reported by Ryan Grim on Huffington Post and interviewed today on Democracy Now! Romney is a Sociopath: Like the Nazis has no empathy for the pain they cause other people.
Last edited Tue Aug 21, 2012, 07:08 PM - Edit history (1)