"Not a Gay Couple": Plans for the Democratic Convention

[morningfog]

Oh, so many things to be annoyed by in the plans for the Democratic National Convention as leaked to Politico's Mike Allen.

* * *

Allen reports that each night of the convention program will include two people talking about their experience of a contested issue, one praising the president's approach, the other running down Romney's. The casting calls have been soaked in bleach. For gay marriage, the documents reportedly say, "not a gay couple," but rather a "parent and gay son or daughter." For Don't Ask, Don't Tell, not a gay couple, but rather, a straight soldier helped by a gay soldier, "i.e., medic, in fire fight." For reproductive rights, not a woman who got an abortion or even birth control at Planned Parenthood, but a "husband who talks about how a PAP smear saved his wife's life." All entirely unobjectionable, and as a result, far less meaningful.

http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2012/08/10/leaked_plans_for_the_democratic_convention.html

[ag_dude]

1. If you want to win the hearts and minds of those you don't agree with...

...this is how you do it.

Baby steps.

Are the people that would like to see a gay couple going to vote for Romney? Heck no.

Are the people that are reachable but still not 100% comfortable with homosexuality going to? Perhaps.

[morningfog]

2. Puhlease. We need to stand with our convictions.

None of this pandering to bigots shit.

[ag_dude]

11. I'm not talking about the bigots

The true bigots will never be convinced one way or the other. I'm talking about the people that are on the fence and can be convinced to jump over.

Or you can alienate them in just because you want to see a gay couple.

[morningfog]

13. Wow. You think "seeing" a gay couple will alienate non-bigots?

Wow. Just wow.

[ag_dude]

14. Yeah, I do.

And you are obviously rankled up for a fight I don't have the time take part in this morning.

Go outside and take a breathe. I'm not the enemy.

[morningfog]

15. Not looking for a fight. But,if someone feels aleinated seeing a gay couple,

they are homophobes or bigots.

[demwing]

26. so run with that message

"If you don't see things as I see them, you're a bigot" and please report back on how well it works for you.

Let me try it...

"Actually, the parent with a gay child hits home for me, as I am that parent. If seeing a parent and a gay child alienates you, you must be a bigot."

Now...are you won over?

[morningfog]

27. Think about the position you are defending.

If someone is so offended by seeing a gay couple that they will not support that party (because that is what this is about), then they are by definition a bigot.

We should not cater to bigots. We should not try to win over bigots. They will come around or they will die out. We will keep moving forward. We do not need them as a voting block. They are not a significant population anymore.

"If seeing a parent and a gay child alienates you, you must be a bigot." I agree with this.

[demwing]

28. but you're letting it alienate you

not for what it says but for what you perceive it says.

You can beat a mule with a stick to get it to move, or you can take that stick, tie a carrot from it, and dangle the carrot just in front of the Mule's nose. It's always easier to pull a load than to push it.

I don't see all of these people who are "on the fence" about gay rights as being bigots - some are just homophobes. Different critters.

You won't change hate, but you can change fear if you know how.

Do you use shame? Do you accuse the person of being a bigot? Or do you change fear by educating people, and by making them think about how these issues affect their family members and friends?

That's the position I'm defending, not you're straw-man version of what you think I mean. Fuck the bigots, concentrate on the ignorant (because they can be educated), and use emotional triggers (because they WORK).

[Vanje]

33. It is a well known fact that straight people

cannot look at a gay couple without thinking of graphic sweaty man on man butt-sex.

[yardwork]

25. I'm part of a gay couple. What about my vote?

Do the Democrats want my vote or are they willing to throw me under the bus to appeal to bigots who are going to vote for Romney anyway?

Careful about your strategy here. I'm going to vote Democratic no matter what but a lot of gay people might not.

[demwing]

29. Marriage Equality is an official plank of the party platform

That has never happened before! Does it really feel like you're being thrown under the bus?

[yardwork]

31. No, it feels like progress, but then I see wimpiness and that looks weak.

People don't like wimpiness. Let the Democrats have the courage of their convictions. They have nothing to fear but fear itself.

[Aristus]

3. Well said.

I agree. Winning over the undecideds, however few they may be, is more important than pissing off the Romney-bots.

[morningfog]

6. It is not about pissing off Romney bots. It is about respecting the people that the policies

ACTUALLY AFFECTED.

The couples are the ones who matter, not the relatives. It is sad that we have to hold up the parent or the friend rather than, *shudder* actual gay people.

[ag_dude]

12. Not shit it's sad. It's also reality.

Some of us want to make it 'less sad' instead of making it worse.

[Pab Sungenis]

16. Make it less sad

by sweeping it under the carpet?

[gkhouston]

9. People often change their attitudes about "the other" when "the other" is personalized.

Yes, it's smart to show the culturally isolated examples that could be drawn from their daily lives, but it's a mistake to not use this to also put an individual face on folks they don't (or won't) see around them. You wanna show that someone in the military who's gay can also be brave? If you must, but also have someone whose life has been personally and deeply affected by Don't Ask Don't Tell speak. The point is that gays are human, not that they should be tolerated because they might save our asses in combat.

[Jamastiene]

21. I've got news for you.

Bigots don't have hearts and don't use their minds. They refuse to. They will still complain about even this. They already are complaining about the convention on local news here in NC. This will just give them something else to complain about. This wishy washy stuff does nothing either way except show no spine.

[Brickbat]

4. While I agree with that, I have to say what I've seen with the push here in MN regarding the

proposed constitutional amendment against gay marriage. One of the big ads encouraging people to vote no ("no" being a vote against the constitutional amendment) shows a lesbian couple at their nice Minneapolis house. They talk about what their long-term relationship has meant to them. But throughout, they never touch each other. They sit close, but not touching, on the couch.

I have been totally impressed with Minnesota United For All Families' approach in everything else they've done, and the feedback has been hugely positive. The ad itself rankled me, because I was like, you can't even tell they're a committed couple! They could be sisters! But I figure they know what they're doing, and so far, it seems to be working.

I do agree with standing up for principles, however. It's a delicate balancing act.

[Pab Sungenis]

5. How nice to know we've gone from being nothing more than political props

to instead being shoved completely out of the way and our rights being nothing more than political props.

Sigh.

[morningfog]

8. They seem to have more sympathy and respect for people "who know a gay."

Rather than those whose lives are impacted by the policies.

[Skidmore]

7. Why would anyone believe Mike Allen, who is and has been a wiggly lapdog for

the Republicans from when Bush ran the first time. The guy practically becomes jello around Republican power figures. Did you ever watch him? I'll reserve judgement until the actual convention. My guess is that the "leaker" is a Republican strategist trying to stir the pot and Mike Allen is doing what he always does.

[morningfog]

10. Whether true or not, DUers are already practicing apologia for it.

[Jamastiene]

22. Exactly.

I show up at DU less and less nowadays for that very reason.

[morningfog]

17. .

[Behind the Aegis]

18. I am shocked!

Oh, wait. No, I am not. Musn't offend the bigots and 'nervous Purvis' types.

[Jamastiene]

23. The apologists do not have a clue how it is already being played here in NC.

Just the fact that the DNC is happening here in NC is already causing them to complain, because they are being asked to hide the gaudy signs and fence the junkyards on the route to the convention. Even the slightest mention of gay people at all will just make them complain more. Why not show a spine and have actual gay people at the convention? I see Obama hasn't learned a thing from trying to "work with" the right wing. It ALWAYS slaps him in the face, but he ALWAYS goes right back to that tactic. When will he learn?

I think some of the apologists on DU would have no problem if Obama invited David Bahati to the convention to appease the right wing of NC. I think that is what some of them would really like to see instead.

[Autumn]

19. How bland and offensive.

And by all means, lets squeeze in a few more repukes.

[morningfog]

20. Yeah, a repuke a night, but no ACTUAL gays.

Only gay acquaintances.

[William769]

24. 2008 all over again? Fuck that shit!

We weren't told to sit in the back of the bus, we were fucking thrown under the bus (a double decker to boot)!

DNC Had no problem taking our money (LGBT) for the past the couple of months and I'm talking millions of dollars here.

This MOTHERFUCKING time I'm going to be driving the the bus so you all better watch out!

Has no one learned from the past? If your going to walk the walk & talk the talk, then fucking do it!

One thing the other side has done right is their take no prisoner approach, for once I'd like to see our side take that approach. MAN UP AND STAND BY YOUR FUCKING CONVICTIONS!

[cali]

30. well, it does count for quite a bit that marriage equality

will be officially endorsed in the platform.

[mmonk]

32. Well today's party isn't exactly a portrait in bravery. But maybe it will be

enough of a contrast to make people think.