The Trump era has changed so many personal relationships.

[Funtatlaguy]

All of us have always had to (often delicately) manage the way we handle politics in our families, work, friendships.
Many have hard and fast rules just not to discuss politics and often religion.
But, the Trump era has changed that.
His Presidency is so different and so divisive that it’s almost impossible to ignore especially with the advancement of social media.

I had always hoped that the people who disagreed with me on politics were still good people.
I saw the Republicans in my family and friendships as people that just wanted smaller government, lower taxes, etc.
But, I didn’t really think of them as racists, sexists, homophobes, xenophobes, etc.
But, I have unfortunately learned that I was wrong with many of them.
The Trump era and their votes and continued support of him and his enablers in and out of government have shown me some sides of these people that I either didn’t know or maybe just chose to ignore.

This isn’t earth shattering news.
I’m sure it’s happened to everyone here.
You have either cut off relationships or cut back on your interactions with Trump supporters that previously served larger roles in your life.

So, do I only blame Trump.
Do I blame the people for not living up to what I had wanted them to be.
Or do I blame myself for not seeing them for what they are or for making excuses for them.
It’s truly heartbreaking what the Trump era has brought to so many lives.

[empedocles]

1. New neighbors.

Two new neighbors move in 2 doors down the block, now almost 2 years ago. Seem very nice. One is especially friendly and helpful. January he had hip surgery and I knew that, so without request, I simply cut his grass until he walked without a limp. He was grateful and has cut my grass ever since. We would be closer, my fault, because he has a trump bumper sticker. He got a new SUV, and a new trump bumper sticker. Can't figure - especially since they are a gay couple.

I suspect I will not bring up the trump issue.

[Charlotte Little]

22. There are actual syndromes for this

Helsinki Syndrome and London Syndrome - syndromes where the threatened align themselves with the threat to feel safe. So, gays, minorities, even some women who support Trump are doing so to feel included so “it” won’t happen to them. They usually snap out of it when they or someone they love is actually harmed. Or, they may never snap out of it.

[empedocles]

24. In my neighborhood subjectivity, I didn't even think Stockholm syndrome.

Thank you.

[Crutchez_CuiBono]

26. Good job on helping w the lawn. It's a great way to SHOW you're a good person.

People want to be better I believe. Their times coming. Maybe they just need an excuse to back out. Nobody knows what these fools think.
One things for sure, you set a great example for a human being.

[PJMcK]

2. Yes, it has

One example from my life illustrates your point.

I had a friend that I met in my first job and we worked together for about two years before she left. Her career blossomed and she became a successful manager in the music business. We would have lunch or dinner several times a year and talk on the phone maybe once a month. We were very good friends.

The last time I saw her was about a month before the 2016 election. We were enjoying a sushi dinner and talking about everything except politics. Suddenly, she looked me in the eye and without being asked, said she was voting for Trump because she had always been a conservative. I was stunned and didn't say anything. I just listened to her talk for a couple of minutes. Then we changed the subject and finished our dinner.

After we parted ways, I realized something had changed between us. As the Era of Trump has unfolded, I've found myself developing a deep anger for anyone who voted for the idiot. Because of the way Trump has debased our world, I cannot talk to my friend again without bringing up politics and I feel that conversation will be volcanic. Interestingly, neither of us has tried to call one another since that dinner.

Thanks, Trump. You run everything.

[CountAllVotes]

18. Same story here

A woman that once worked for me years ago became what I thought was my friend.

Over the years, she has managed to horde a lot of $, I mean a lot!

She obtained all of this $ via a variety of ways from many different sources. Much of what she is doing is not quite on the up and up. And it was after I figured her out that I found out she is nothing more than a greedy puke.

She sues everyone she can and boasts to me how she'll have all the $ she needs for the rest of her life.

She sickens me. I cannot stand the sound of her voice.

I feel like I wasted over 30+ years of my life trying to be this woman's friend, but as it now stands, I don't give a damn.

She can have her made in China MAGA hat and all that goes with it.

There are others too. Much the same story with all of them. Its all about money and greed and HOW MUCH MORE CAN I GRAB!

No loss; just glad I figured it out as I need to save what energy I have in my doubtlessly shortened life on this sort of garbage!

[Kyblue1]

3. The Trump era (error) has changed how I feel about this country

All my life I believed that we were the "good guys". Like Superman we stood for "Truth, Justice and the American way". The election of Drumpf and the rise of the tea party has made me doubt the basic goodness of our country. The present Rethug party of McConnell, Grassley, Ryan, et al, have no respect for and have done permanent damage to our basic democratic institutions and traditions, the Garland Supreme Court nomination being the clearest example. I am saddened that I am no longer proud to be an American.

[Funtatlaguy]

4. Your last sentence is the saddest part of it all.

[elmac]

7. If I am ever asked my Nationality I will proudly say Canadian

even though I am stuck with a US citizenship. It would take a miracle at this point for me to feel at home here, to even care about this country anymore. The country, the flag means nothing to me, an empty shell, but I do still care about the good people trying so hard to give us our Democracy back.

[Racerdog1]

5. Have no use for Republicons

I choose to do no business with these idiots that support this orange plague bastard. Worked out very well for the past 3 years. Profits up, stress way down.

[ginnyinWI]

6. It goes back to the Tea Party for me.

And right wing hate radio. It made my dad into a RW crazy and we never got along after that.

Most of my family is/has been Republican. We don't talk about it much. Some just vote R by tradition, some because they somehow think the party is the more moral one. One voted for Obama but then wished he hadn't. All low information voters not really paying attention.

When everyone has their own set of "facts" and their own cable channels and radio stations to watch, which all want to become more and more extreme to attract an audience, this is what we get.

When everybody listened to Walter Conkrite, or Huntley-Brinkley in the evening, everybody was more or less on the same page. They could argue about it but weren't as likely to think the other person was an insane maniac because they believed differently.

[CrispyQ]

27. Hate radio changed my mom.

She was a Kennedy democrat. Then she had some bad times & as she was getting back on track, she got a job where they listened to Limbaugh every day. In 18 months she was a different person. It was boggling. She passed in '06 & I often wonder if our relationship would have survived Obama & the tea party.

[Rizen]

8. Exactly

I don't want any Republican friends. Unfortunately it's really hard to find social groups that are for democrats in my area.

[Timewas]

11. I would rather

Much much rather be alone than consort with trumpists

[mommymarine2003]

9. I feel the same way

My sister and brother-in-law voted for Trump. They are Evangelical Christians. She is my only sibling, and we used to speak on the phone all the time, as we live in different states. It took me months after the election to be able to speak to her on a regular basis again, but we do not discuss politics. I have no idea how she feels about Trump at this time because I am afraid to ask for fear that I wont be able to hold back my emotions.

My husband and I both come from military families. My father was career Marine, and his father was career Air Force. Our son is a disabled Marine vet (served two tours to Iraq). We have always been extremely patriotic, but we now feel embarrassed and saddened to be an American. My husband is president of his Rotary club. They have to say the Pledge of Allegiance at every meeting. He stated that he has to force himself to say it. One woman in his club now sits during the pledge. She said it is her way of taking a knee.

I could go on and on how Trump has changed my relationships with people. If I see a Republican yard sign in a neighbor's yard, I don't want anything to do with them. I walk daily with a lady who is a Republican. We still walk, but we have to keep our discussions to basic topics. You can feel the tension if we get too close to politics, although I don't believe she is a Trump supporter.

This all makes me very sad, too.

[Pepsidog]

10. Very true, sadly

[GoCubsGo]

12. In my case, it really hasn't.

The Trumpanzees in my life were were already out of the closet well before he came along. Fortunately, there are only a few of them, and I have known all along what they're like. The few borderline republicans in my life hate Trump. The rest, and vast majority of my relationships are among Democrats. So, for me, nothing has really changed. I live in the town where Lee Atwater grew up. He was the way he was for a reason, and things haven't really changed much here since the days when his beliefs were formed. I have known for 30 years what his ilk are like. (I REALLY need to get the fuck out of this shithole town...) It's "Same shit. Different day." for me.

[Puppyjive]

13. I finally caved

I have tried so hard to not unfriend people on facebook that have different views than me. I try to engage without using hate. I try to use reason and facts to support my views. I have finally heard enough. These are people that I have served with in the military. I was stationed in Oklahoma. I just am so sad that I can't be their friends anymore. They have finally crossed the line with me. They have made comments about my weight, my intelligence. When I show them facts, they just say it's fake. These people have true hatred in their minds. I came out of the military embracing diversity. It was such a good experience for me. I don't know what went wrong and how they decided to go down that path of hate. I finally blocked them. I try to carefully understand both sides, but when one side only believes the lies and conspiracy theories, it's impossible to reason with them.

[catbyte]

16. You're among friends here and thank you for your service.

[Puppyjive]

20. Thank you!

I have been a member of the DU for a long time now and this is where I feel at home with like minded people. I feel like I am somewhat informed and I this is where I can go to learn and understand. Thank you fellow DUers. You all rock in my world!

[Danascot]

14. I attended the wedding of a close friend shortly before the election

It was a beautiful, happy wedding with many friends and family. But by seven months they had split, largely over the trump thing. Maybe the marriage would have broken up over other things eventually but the differences over trump came first.

[catbyte]

15. I'm so disappointed in my fellow citizens.

[IMG][/IMG]

[Algernon Moncrieff]

17. The Iraq war was where the fuse was lit

Last edited Sun Oct 28, 2018, 01:38 PM - Edit history (1)

The Iraq war was where the fuse was lit. And even that is not the whole story. The super-patriotism that welled-up after Gulf War I was, in my opinion, a combination of Vietnam War supporters feeling vindicated and a certain segment of Baby Boomer Vietnam War opponents feeling guilty. If you want to look at the root of a lot of our problems now, they started when we sent troops to defend absolute monarchs against a military dictator.

Then Bush lost to Clinton, which enraged certain circles within the GOP/movement conservatism, and led to Newt Gingrich (remember his list of words and terms it was OK to use in attacks?) and the Contract With America. I had fundie neighbors who supported Bo Gritz in '96, and kept asked if I'd watch a video about how our President was selling drugs and having people murdered.

Fast forward to W Bush, and 9-11, and then we "all came together." But then W invaded Iraq, and it did not turn out like Gulf War I. We were not greeted as liberators, there were no WMDs, and the nation began to fracture along Vietnam lines. With a volunteer service, people in regions with higher percentages of service families began to resent regions where support for the war was low. 2004, with the "yard sign wars" that swept neighborhoods during Bush v. Kerry is where I saw the division really become visible.

But 2008, with Social Media (especially Facebook) in full effect what when it really went downhill. It went beyond bumper stickers and yard signs - you now knew exactly what your friends and neighbors thought. And what people found out was that people that they enjoyed watching games or bowling or talking about old times with had views and hatreds you never suspected. It's also a timeframe when the distances of keyboards, as opposed to being face to face, allowed people the freedom to get far nastier and more personal in arguments. At the same time, Social Media, as well as sites like DU and Free Republic (being completely honest here) allowed people to get with the like-minded and share thoughts in echo chambers.

So we are now largely divided into two tribes: one that values public institutions for social good vs. one that despises them; one that embraces conservative social mores vs. one that eschews them; one that values militarism above all vs. one that values nonaggression; one that welcomes immigrants from all nations and skill sets vs. one that only wants highly skilled immigrants from mostly European nations; one that wants a media that is critical of America vs. one that wants media to only be a cheerleader for America. Both sides like different types of leaders. One side appreciates the Oratory of people like JFK and Barack Obama, while the other side finds Trump's rants and W Bush's butchery of the English language endearing because "he sounds like us, doesn't he."

[Charlotte Little]

23. Most spot on description of how this happened

But then, add in “racism,” “misogyny,” “homophobia,” and “fundamentalism” to the mix. With that deadly cocktail now openly being consumed, this country is going to hell in real time. It’s the perfect storm with Trump playing his part as the Antichrist. I worry we won’t recover.

[vlyons]

30. It fractured for me with the Vietnam war

and the civil rights movement, and the war on drugs. Republicans have created culture wars since forever to get elected and stay in power.

[Hortensis]

19. We'd see different sides still with different leaders.

Decent, honorable, and positive leaders bring out those qualities in their followers.

[Initech]

21. Trump and Fox News have brought out the worst in people.

My neighbors have parties every month and I have been avoiding them because I don't want to discuss politics. They are all Fox bots who think that Chump is great and can do no wrong. So because of this, that's why I don't go to these parties anymore.

[Funtatlaguy]

25. Yes, I hope that Rupert, Roger, and the rest are proud of what they've done.

[Initech]

32. They most likely are.

[CrispyQ]

28. It's gonna leave a mark.

That's where I'm at. I'll never forget that they voted & supported this vile, vulgar man.

[vlyons]

29. after all that Trump has said and done,

I say shun the Trumpsters, or at least minimize your contact with them. If Trumpsters refuse to see his depravity and corruption, what does that say about them? We tell our kids not to hang out with the wrong crowd at school, the truant class skippers, underage drinkers, bullies, and such. Why would we ourselves waste time with hate-filled low-lifes and losers?

That doesn't mean that we have to be nasty to them. But when they start parroting Trump bullshit, that's the time to say, I don't tolerate divisive hate speech and just walk away. If they call you names, don't take the bait and respond. Just walk away.

[lucca18]

31. I have cut off contact with a friend that I have known for many years.

We were “best” friends. She eventually moved to Texas and I moved to San Francisco.
And, then she started to change.
Our last contact was when I told her to stop sending me racist emails, and that she was better than this.

Now I know, I never really knew her.