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Tommy_Carcetti

(43,131 posts)
Fri Nov 2, 2018, 10:37 AM Nov 2018

Guys, I'm pretty sure this whole Jacob Wohl/Jack Burkman scheme is actually.....

....a real life Coen Brothers movie played out in reality.

I mean, think about it. You've got all the hallmarks of a Coen Brothers movie here. Think "Burn After Reading" mixed with "The Big Lebowski" mixed with various elements of some of their other movies.

Basically, you've got a couple of amateur crooks whose inept and poorly planned criminal scheme absolutely spirals out of their control as they desperately attempt to hold it all together.

They create a patently fake PI firm, "Surefire Intelligence", that is so transparently a fictitious entity with fictitious employees. It's about as real as the Soggy Bottom Boys, except with far less musical talent.

I mean, their main Private Investigator's name was "Donald Treehorn."

Donald Treehorn treats objects like women, man.

Now they bring in this other woman, Carolyne Cass, into their mess. And she's this fringe 34 year old self-described "fashion designer" from LA who probably owes money all over town--I mean, she's gotta feed the monkey, man.

And they try to bring her to the press conference, but she's fleeing the interview. She's fleeing the interview!

My only request: They have to recruit Academy Award winner Christoph Waltz for a role.

Perhaps as Surefire Intelligence lead researcher "Simon Frick."

43 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Guys, I'm pretty sure this whole Jacob Wohl/Jack Burkman scheme is actually..... (Original Post) Tommy_Carcetti Nov 2018 OP
made for William H. Macy vlyons Nov 2018 #1
"I *am* cooperating here!" nt Tommy_Carcetti Nov 2018 #2
It has the feeling of an elaborate prank, but isn't. MineralMan Nov 2018 #3
Trying to one-up James O'Queef Roland99 Nov 2018 #5
Yeah, probably shouldn't try to punk a Federal special prosecutor... Wounded Bear Nov 2018 #7
Yeah...federal law enforcement people don't have MineralMan Nov 2018 #10
And the idiots didn't take the clue when she bailed that maybe that press conference wasn't... brush Nov 2018 #9
Yes. I was amazed that they still tried to hold MineralMan Nov 2018 #12
And They Held It From . . . ProfessorGAC Nov 2018 #31
They aren't professional scam artists but they did stay at a Holiday Inn last night. Garrett78 Nov 2018 #36
I think the desk folk at the Holiday Inn wanted to keep them as far away from guests as possible. Tommy_Carcetti Nov 2018 #42
Hilarious Observation dlk Nov 2018 #4
LOL! peekaloo Nov 2018 #6
Da Fino, the Brother Shamus for Surefire Intelligence. Tommy_Carcetti Nov 2018 #13
i was thinking sasha baron cohen, but yeah. unblock Nov 2018 #8
These assholes are used to getting away with anything. Adrahil Nov 2018 #11
Little Jason strikes me as something like a younger version of Steve Buscemi in "Fargo." The Velveteen Ocelot Nov 2018 #14
Jack Burkman to Jacob Wohl on the drive to the Holiday Inn: Tommy_Carcetti Nov 2018 #21
My mind immediately went to the wood chipper scene gratuitous Nov 2018 #26
This plot really tied the tRump administration together Bradshaw3 Nov 2018 #15
I'm Mr_Lebowski, and I Approve This Message!!! mr_lebowski Nov 2018 #16
This message was self-deleted by its author Top 10 Idiots Nov 2018 #17
Actually I think it sounds more like a Wes Anderson movie. Initech Nov 2018 #18
I actually thought of Wes Anderson too. Tommy_Carcetti Nov 2018 #19
The only thing is there's no deaths or graveyards involved. Initech Nov 2018 #22
Be patient..... dixiegrrrrl Nov 2018 #34
It is more like a live action Beavis and Butthead show: FSogol Nov 2018 #20
Well, It Made My Laugh! ProfessorGAC Nov 2018 #32
You said "corn"... PunkinPi Nov 2018 #41
Donald Treehorn has to be a bullshit name, right?? Docreed2003 Nov 2018 #23
Maybe. Maybe not. Tommy_Carcetti Nov 2018 #24
Bwahahahahahahahhaha!!!! Docreed2003 Nov 2018 #25
I just hope they go to prison for obstructing justice mucifer Nov 2018 #27
Every good movie mercuryblues Nov 2018 #28
Maybe one of their lesser films, but I think "Hail Ceasar!" might provide some answers. Tommy_Carcetti Nov 2018 #30
I keep looking around for Sacha Baron Cohen. Raster Nov 2018 #29
Has Mel Brooks retired? Marcuse Nov 2018 #33
pretty much has, yes NewJeffCT Nov 2018 #38
No. Its an episode of arrested development!! Tiggeroshii Nov 2018 #35
Forget it, Donnie, you're outta your element. tclambert Nov 2018 #37
Yep, I'd like to see it end this way. geardaddy Nov 2018 #39
Idiots. What can one say? Somehow, I wouldn't be terribly shocked if rump had anything to ... SWBTATTReg Nov 2018 #40
The open fly during the presser was the tip off lololol grantcart Nov 2018 #43

MineralMan

(146,242 posts)
3. It has the feeling of an elaborate prank, but isn't.
Fri Nov 2, 2018, 10:47 AM
Nov 2018

The two people involved are just so stupid that they couldn't even pull the thing off. The "lawyer" one couldn't even show up a their "press conference" with his fly zipped. The other one is even more stupid.

The young woman involved got smart just in time. Smart enough, at least, to realize that she could get in big trouble over such a dumbass farce.

I give the entire effort a D- grade.

Roland99

(53,342 posts)
5. Trying to one-up James O'Queef
Fri Nov 2, 2018, 10:49 AM
Nov 2018

Which really shouldn’t take much but these idiots couldn’t tie their own shoes if they had Velcro straps!

MineralMan

(146,242 posts)
10. Yeah...federal law enforcement people don't have
Fri Nov 2, 2018, 10:55 AM
Nov 2018

great senses of humor. As someone who has pulled off some decently large pranks, I always knew better than to target people who could put me in jail.

Those guys couldn't engineer a proper prank, so they tried to do something "for real."

An unzipped fly at a press conference? Sheesh!

brush

(53,724 posts)
9. And the idiots didn't take the clue when she bailed that maybe that press conference wasn't...
Fri Nov 2, 2018, 10:54 AM
Nov 2018

a great idea.

ProfessorGAC

(64,801 posts)
31. And They Held It From . . .
Fri Nov 2, 2018, 11:44 AM
Nov 2018

. . .a "conference room at a Holiday Inn"

Yeah sure. That thing was shot in a basement room just a little bigger than a closet.

Tommy_Carcetti

(43,131 posts)
42. I think the desk folk at the Holiday Inn wanted to keep them as far away from guests as possible.
Fri Nov 2, 2018, 01:38 PM
Nov 2018

I'm surprised they didn't hold it in the sauna at the gym.

peekaloo

(22,977 posts)
6. LOL!
Fri Nov 2, 2018, 10:51 AM
Nov 2018

I love you!

I've thought the same thing since Trump's emergence, a Coen Bros movie come to life.

Rather sad that Jon Polito is no longer around as he too would be a perfect casting choice.

And then there's Trump screaming "Mah Hair" a la Clooney in 'OBWAT'.

 

Adrahil

(13,340 posts)
11. These assholes are used to getting away with anything.
Fri Nov 2, 2018, 10:55 AM
Nov 2018

And the way things have been going... maybe they will.

The Velveteen Ocelot

(115,543 posts)
14. Little Jason strikes me as something like a younger version of Steve Buscemi in "Fargo."
Fri Nov 2, 2018, 11:00 AM
Nov 2018

But these guys are such numpties that they're likely to fall into their own wood chipper.

gratuitous

(82,849 posts)
26. My mind immediately went to the wood chipper scene
Fri Nov 2, 2018, 11:31 AM
Nov 2018

"Ya do know there's more to life than a little bit of money?"

Bradshaw3

(7,484 posts)
15. This plot really tied the tRump administration together
Fri Nov 2, 2018, 11:02 AM
Nov 2018

And they peed on our democracy. They peed on our democracy. Shut the fuck up Donnie!

 

mr_lebowski

(33,643 posts)
16. I'm Mr_Lebowski, and I Approve This Message!!!
Fri Nov 2, 2018, 11:03 AM
Nov 2018

Oh, oh!

If we're picking cast members for the movie ... I always vote for Peter Stormare ... dude's awesome in everything.

Response to Tommy_Carcetti (Original post)

Initech

(100,023 posts)
18. Actually I think it sounds more like a Wes Anderson movie.
Fri Nov 2, 2018, 11:09 AM
Nov 2018

I'd use "The Grand Budapest Hotel":

Elaborate scheme to take down a powerful entity? Check.

Quirky characters with crazy names and weird occupations? Check.

Two-tone color scheme? Check.

Does it go horribly wrong? Absolutely!

Tommy_Carcetti

(43,131 posts)
19. I actually thought of Wes Anderson too.
Fri Nov 2, 2018, 11:10 AM
Nov 2018

Maybe Alexander Payne.

Basically any director who has a good grasp on the absurd.

Initech

(100,023 posts)
22. The only thing is there's no deaths or graveyards involved.
Fri Nov 2, 2018, 11:12 AM
Nov 2018

In order for it to be a real Wes Anderson movie there would need to be some sort of funeral or cemetery involved. But it does meet all the rest of the requirements.

FSogol

(45,428 posts)
20. It is more like a live action Beavis and Butthead show:
Fri Nov 2, 2018, 11:11 AM
Nov 2018

Beavis: heh, heh, let's remove Mueller.
Butthead; Uh, hey, baby.” “Damn we're smooth.”
Beavis: we'll use that picture of the one girl we know.
Butthead: you said "girl", heh, heh
Beavis: we can use Mom's phone number, uh, heh
Butthead: Did you know when you eat rump roast you’re eating a cow’s butt?
Beavis: I am the great hedge fund manager, cornholio!
Butthead: your zipper is open again, heh, heh

PunkinPi

(4,874 posts)
41. You said "corn"...
Fri Nov 2, 2018, 01:37 PM
Nov 2018


(For those who don't know, "corncob" means, someone who has been brutally owned, yet insists that they are victorious in the online discourse despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Via the Urban Dictionary)

NewJeffCT

(56,828 posts)
38. pretty much has, yes
Fri Nov 2, 2018, 01:33 PM
Nov 2018

He still does the occasional speaking engagement - he was at the Bushnell in Hartford, CT about 2 years ago where he had a Q&A with the audience about his life & career.

SWBTATTReg

(22,046 posts)
40. Idiots. What can one say? Somehow, I wouldn't be terribly shocked if rump had anything to ...
Fri Nov 2, 2018, 01:36 PM
Nov 2018

do w/ these guys (or at least rump's son), especially viewed in the light of how stupid this whole thing was.

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