20 years after "no dating" book took the purity world by storm, author wants printing to cease

[Demovictory9]

The dramatic implosion of ‘I Kissed Dating Goodbye’ is a lesson — and a warning

The book begins with a young couple on their wedding day, besieged by relationships past. The groom’s ex-girlfriends have all appeared at the altar beside him, each having claimed a piece of his heart. Now, he has only the scraps to offer his distraught bride.

“I Kissed Dating Goodbye,” published in 1997 by then-21-year-old Joshua Harris, launched a revolution in the evangelical Christian world. Aimed at teenagers and 20-somethings, the first-person polemic discouraged casual (or even serious) dating and argued strenuously against physical intimacy outside of marriage. Sexual impurity was a “grimy film that coats the soul,” Harris wrote — but if you managed to wait, you would receive God’s best marriage.

The book was perfect for the moment: Abstinence-only sex education had become well established in many public schools, and organizations such as True Love Waits were taking evangelical culture mainstream. “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” sold more than 1.2 million copies and has remained a fundamental text even as purity culture peaked and cooled.

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Fast-forward to 2016: Those teens who swore off dating have grown up, and they’re angry. Harris starts to engage on social media with his former readers, and many of them say that “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” stunted their relationships, skewed their views of marriage and sexuality or otherwise changed their lives for the worse. He begins to publicly apologize, soliciting feedback about his book and stories about how it affected individual lives.

Last month, two decades after his book burst onto the scene, Harris published a statement on his personal website: “While I stand by my book’s call to sincerely love others, my thinking has changed significantly in the past twenty years. I no longer agree with its central idea that dating should be avoided.” There was a bombshell conclusion: “In light of the flaws I now see in ‘I Kissed Dating Goodbye,’ I think it’s best to discontinue its publication.” He has directed his publisher to cease printing the book.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/the-dramatic-implosion-of-i-kissed-dating-goodbye-is-a-lesson--and-a-warning/2018/11/14/eeecd65c-e850-11e8-bbdb-72fdbf9d4fed_story.html?utm_term=.ef40135737d9

[Downtown Hound]

1. My wife was one of them

Raised in a super conservative household, she actually had one of those "True Love Waits" rings. She became ultra liberal when she reached her 20's. And a big part of it was when she started having sex and realized what she had been missing all those years. And she was angry. She was angry that she could have been out dating and living life and enjoying herself and exploring her sexuality and growing as a woman when instead she was hanging onto a ridiculous and archaic 18th century value system rooted completely in subjugating women and turning them into property. She has told me on more than one occassion that if she had to do it all over again, she would have thrown that ring into the toilet and had as much sex as she could have had.

[Johnny2X2X]

2. Just rubbish

Puritans trying to force guilt on young people is a cancer on our society.

We have 70 or 80 years on this earth, anyone who tells you to spend some of those years feeling guilty about what is completely natural is doing real and lasting harm to you.

[Hugin]

3. Off to the greatest.

Who could'a known... Just about everyone.

[Achilleaze]

4. "Sexual impurity! Heh heh. Tell me more." - Dirty Donny* (R)

* aka republican Draft-Dodger-in-Chief, and family-values role model.