Allstate Gets a Call from Paradise (parody)
Allstate: Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line. A representative will be with you within....39 minutes.
Customer: Dammit!
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Allstate: Hello, this is Mayhem, from Allstate. How may I impede you today?
Customer: My house in Paradise burned down.
Allstate: I'm very sorry to hear that. What can I do for you?
Customer: I have homeowner's insurance with Allstate.
Allstate: Do you have the original copy of your policy with you?
Customer: No. It burned in the house with everything else I own.
Allstate: Well, that's unfortunate. What is your name and address.
Customer: James B. Wilson, 1234 Forest Lane, Paradise, California
Allstate: One moment while I look that up....Oh, yes, I see your policy here. Was there damage to your home?
Customer: It burned to the ground.
Allstate: What was the cause of the fire?
Customer: It was a forest fire. All the houses in town burned down.
Allstate: Do you have a photograph of the damage?
Customer: No, the house burned to the ground and is completely destroyed.
Allstate: Let me check something here....Oh, I see that the power company's power lines started the fire, according to reports. I'm afraid that your policy excludes payment for damages caused by a third party. Have you called PG&E about your damage?
Customer: Yes. They denied it was their fault.
Allstate: Well, I'm afraid there is nothing I can do for you right now. Later, if PG&E is found not to be at fault, you can call me again. At this time, we will be unable to process your claim.
Customer: WHAT? What am I supposed to do?
Allstate: I'm sure I don't know, sir. Enjoy the rest of your day.