They literally lie about everything... How is that even possible?

[MrScorpio]

[PatSeg]

1. It is like they assume

that a lie will always be better than the truth. I don't think they even consider telling the truth.

[peekaloo]

2. Brutus, er, Vanilla Vice and Chance the Gardener trying to locate porn channels

is the real caption.

"Don't believe what you see or hear, it's not happening."

[dalton99a]

6. +1

[leftyladyfrommo]

3. Years and years of practice. nt

[Tommy_Carcetti]

4. In Bizarro Obama-Biden meme style....

“Where’s Season 5 of The Apprentice? Goddammit, I specifically told these assholes I wanted to watch Season 5 of The Apprentice.”

“There is is, sir, right there.”

“Where?”

“Right there, sir.”

“You fucking holy rolling asshole, that’s Season 4. I said Season 5. Five! Fi-ve!”

“I’m sorry, sir. I’ll go sit in the corner—never mind, I can’t on account of the fact that it’s the Oval Office, sir.”

“A fuck it. I’ve had enough of your shit Mike. You’re fired. Go on. Get.”

“That’s a funny one, sir.”

“Shoo now.”

“The thing is... I’m the one person you can’t actually fire, sir.”

“Who the fuck says that?”

“Um....the Constitution, sir”

“The Constiwhation?”

“Never mind, sir. I’ll just go stand in the, um, corner.”

[empedocles]

5. Can't make this stuff up