" He passed out with his head in a plate of mashed potatoes "

[democrank]

That was a teeny portion of a recent conversation with a dear friend as we shared childhood memories of alcoholic fathers. I cried joking about coming home from school to find my bed missing....another piece of furniture swapped for a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon. The two of us laughed ‘til we cried, cried ‘til we laughed. Life back then was like being strapped inside a burning building with nobody willing to call the fire department.

Donald Trump’s presidency reminds me of my childhood. No rational person in charge, nobody running things, no rules, no guidance, no standards, no bottom lines, no reasonable explanations, no kept promises.

Trump’s presidency is like life after a tornado. You look through a hole where a wall used to be and see the neighbor’s bathtub crashed against your mailbox. Everything is upside down....nothing seems familiar and you wonder if you’re even on the right street.

Just as it was during my childhood, there is the teeniest little light....far off but noticeable. People are gathering. Heroes are preparing. Women are planning. Children are hoping. It will take a mighty effort to rid ourselves of Trump and his enablers and put our country back together. But....yes, yes we can.

[rownesheck]

1. I feel like

I'm turning into one those dads! Hang in there, me!

[cilla4progress]

2. Beautiful.

That was beautiful. And heart-wrenching.

Thank you.

[Leith]

3. It Has Helped My Sanity to Come Here

and be with likeminded people. We're all in this together.

[blm]

4. ((democrank))

I hear you

[pandr32]

5. Brilliant

[AJT]

6. We had no real parenting. I lived in one of the wealthiest suburbs in the country

and had no direction and no idea what to do. My stepfather drank and my mother ignored us all. It was a parentless free for all.

[bitterross]

7. I thought this might be about Kavanaugh.

Silly me, sounded like a throw-back to Kavanaugh's antics.

[lunasun]

8. My uncle dated a woman who passed out in a plate of spaghetti and meatballs in a restaurant

He told us because he said it was so strange an experience but also to say why he was breaking up with her...he was not a big drinker
As for Trump days everything is off kilter and reminds me of a twilight zone segment
(see my sig line )
but I see resistance here in Chicago and hope all are progressing forward everywhere, despite the current chaotic president.
We have to get back Dems in power if for nothing else , yes just to restore some reasonable order in the US

[TheOther95Percent]

9. My Mother Gave My Dad A Choice: Booze or His Family

He "chose" his family, but he was a dry drunk until my late teens. It was only after he had a relapse and a stint in rehab that my mother made good on her threat.

My earliest childhood memory is him passed out on the front portch, car keys in his hands.

Trump has triggered me big time. My dry drunk father acted exactly like him right down to the snarling mouth and general overall asshole behavior.

[Rhiannon12866]

10. I'm a member of ACOA - Adult Children Of Alcoholics

You're not alone.

https://adultchildren.org/

[Raine1967]

18. Same here. The OP really touched me.

Every day I feel like I am living like I did when I was a teen living with an abusive alcoholic.

Every day I have to use the skills I learned as an adult with a dysfunctional father.

The most problematic part for me is that I was able to leave my dysfunction. I could deal and heal with me and the scars it left. I did so for over 30 years.


I use those skills every day under this administration. I feel like I am back to being a teen living with an abuser. I'm pretty happy I have the coping skills I learned so many decades ago.

[spooky3]

11. My sympathies to all DUers who experienced such an awful childhood and

are now dealing with everything Trump is dredging up.

It makes me think of "People get ready; there's a train a -coming..." by Curtis Mayfield. For those who are not religious, maybe we can put faith in democracy and in the many people working to make things better.

[lastlib]

12. (I thought this was going to be a thread about GHWB's trip to Japan....)

I recall him puking on the Japanese PM at a state dinner, then passing out drunk and having to be carried out. They tried to dismiss it as a combination of jet-lag fatigue and stomach flu, but it didn't work.

[klook]

29. Bushu-suru (ブッシュする)

According to Wikipedia, that’s “doing the Bush thing.”

My first reaction was the same as yours, I confess.

[volstork]

13. This is an awesome post!

Thanks for sharing.

[Jarqui]

14. Great post

The one alteration to the story I might suggest is that it seems there are a bar full of people like this trying to run the country. There is more than Trump who are responsible for this mess.

[Honeycombe8]

15. An excellent description of the Trump so-called Presidency. nt

[czarjak]

16. Yes...

We will!

[KentuckyWoman]

17. Good post and

Hugs

K and R

[AllaN01Bear]

19. i was depressed when al gore lost to dubya elated w billy and obama

slammed into the dumps again with the disaster we have now for president. i feel like the rug yanked out from under me and i am still falling.

[maddiemom]

27. After Gore, it was so gratifying to see the Dems finally motivated to do something...

about the Electoral College. Oh wait...after Hillary, it was so gratifying...Oh, never mind.

[MontanaMama]

20. Your OP is so beautiful. And sad...

and hopeful. I am in tears reading it. I share a similar upside down childhood filled with predictable unpredictability that can’t be shaken or forgotten. But yes, “there is the teeniest little light...far off but noticeable.”

Yes we can.

[Raine1967]

21. Like you, I grew up w. an alcoholic father. He was abusive.

I went to every group that could help me as a teen and as a young adult.

I used to think it was my fault that my parents were so messed up. I used to think it was my fault for so many problems with my family. I was a kid and a very sensitive one at that.

I got the help I needed and learned over the years that it wasn't me.

That was in the 80's/90's.

Now here in this days and age, I feel like I am back to living under the same roof as my father --

Now, as a 51-year-old, I can put my coping/survival skills back to use.

[susanna]

22. Beautiful, insightful post.

Thank you so much, democrank.

May we prevail.

And yes, yes we can.

[Demovictory9]

23. k&r

[Luz]

24. Thank you so much for sharing this. I now understand

my hubby a little better. He comes from the same household of uncertainty and conditional love, and now I see the reason he's had such high anxiety since the election.
Yes, there is a small glimmer of light for us all.

[kag]

25. What a great post!

Thanks for sharing this. My father was the son of an alcoholic father, and never got any help. He had a lot of issues (including being a fox-watching republican). If he had lived to see Trump (he died in 2014), he would probably have felt right at home, wouldn't have seen what the problem was.

I think your post helps me understand a lot of his behavior. And it's funny.

[MFGsunny]

26. from a seeming bottomless bowl of current political despair ....

....... you raised my hope of: yes, we can! yes, we will!

[iscooterliberally]

28. I used to have to put guns together as a child.

My dad was both a raging alcoholic and a 'gun enthusiast'. He would buy a new rifle and come home and take it apart and then start throwing a tantrum because he was too drunk to put it back together. I would have to reassemble the gun from a pile of parts with no instructions or anything. I still have some of the guns, but I took them apart and left them that way. I'd much rather play with guitars. When I was about 7, dad came home really late. I happened to wake up at about 2am and saw him staggering up the drive way. I heard him trying to get in the front door, but he was too hammered and crawled into the back seat of the car. I went out and opened the door and woke him up and brought him inside. At that point I realized my dad had a problem, but I didn't know what alcoholism was.

[Kurt V.]

30. k&r

and thanks

[lillypaddle]

31. Your childhood sounds a lot like mine

When my parents died, the saddest part of it was thinking about what a waste their lives had been. These thoughts came to me today as I watched the casket of George HW Bush arriving amidst a 21 gun salute and all the pomp and ceremony afforded a respected & beloved former president.

The comparison to the waste of my parents' lives in death came because I was imagining what the funeral would be for DJT. I wonder if he reflects at all on what might have been, had he even attempted to be the man and president this nation deserved. I wondered if anyone would even show up to greet his casket, except those who wanted to jeer at the waste and dishonor he brought to our country, to cheer that we were finally rid of him. Instead of being revered in death, he would be reviled as he was in life.

Peace.

[klook]

32. Apt analogy and a moving personal account.

I was fortunate to grow up with normal(ish!) parents, but I’ve certainly felt a heightened sense of anxiety for the past 2 years.

I look forward to a time when one of my first waking thoughts each day won’t be, “FUCK! It’s really true? Donald Fucking Trump is the fucking president??”

[3catwoman3]

33. One would think that, ater nearly 2 years, I would not still be...

...waking up incredulous every morning, but I am. My words are much the same as yours - "Donald Fucking Trump? Seriousy?"

[mia]

34. Thank you for your post.