Wells Fargo Computer Glitch Accidentally Forecloses On All 5,700 Branches

[Zorro]

SAN FRANCISCO—Saying it deeply regretted the error, financial services giant Wells Fargo confirmed Wednesday that a computer glitch had resulted in the lender accidentally foreclosing on all 5,700 of its retail banking branches in the United States.

“We apologize to anyone who might have been affected by this simple calculation error, including all of the branch managers, loan officers, and tellers who no longer have a place to work,” said CEO Timothy J. Sloan in a form letter that was sent to thousands of former Wells Fargo employees along with a check for $1,000 intended as remediation for the sudden loss of their jobs.

“Rest assured, we have taken measures to ensure such an oversight does not occur again and look forward to winning back the trust of everyone who relied upon our banks.”

Sloan declined to comment when asked if the savings incurred by closing every single Wells Fargo bank across the nation had paid for his new $15 billion annual bonus.

https://www.theonion.com/wells-fargo-computer-glitch-accidentally-forecloses-on-1830889330

[Demovictory9]

1. lol... the Onion. I clicked here to type "Karma"

[elleng]

2. YAY!

[montana_hazeleyes]

3. LOL!

I clicked on thinking, good grief what now! LOL These days it's easy to think just about anything may be real!

[raging moderate]

4. Either they are total villains

or total screw-ups.

[cos dem]

5. I click, thinking "gotta be The Onion"...

really relieved when it is.
Sadly, wouldn't be surprised if it was not.

[TheBlackAdder]

6. I heard this was a result of a rounding error, where each forclosure was short $0.01

.

The W.F. representatives stated that normally this type of foreclosure is only reserved for elderly people over the age of 80, which exposed two flaws in their process, not just the one. The exact amount of shortfall was $0.00873581, which was rounded up to an even penny. System changes will verify that whole pennies are involved and targets are at least actually octogenarians, preferably widows on fixed income.

.

[appalachiablue]

8. +1

[Gothmog]

7. I love the Onion

[912gdm]

9. Why are all the satire threads allowed in GD?

At least in the main title you should be required to post /s.

I came on after work half asleep to see what's happened and saw a Wells Fargo story.. Halfway through the post I realized it was humor BS.

I love a joke like anyone else, but the bait-clicking is wrong. There is the lounge, humor, and creative speculation for the hAha! got you posts.

[Zorro]

10. Lighten up, newbie