"Muelleritis". What is it?

[guillaumeb]

Muelleritis is a disease that causes the sufferer to have an intense fear of people named Mueller.

Symptoms can include frantic tweeting whenever the name is in the news, and often accompanied by frantic denials that Mueller has anything to report.


Other symptoms include the sufferer flying into fits of rage, and verbally attacking people near to the sufferer.


In Trump's case, that nearness refers only to physical proximity, not an emotional closeness.

Muelleritis is highly contagious, and medical experts I have consulted say it might affect as much as 38% of the population at this time.


That 38% includes everyone in the Trump Administration, as well as Trump's co-conspirators in the GOP Congress, and the members of his family.


The only known cure for Muelleritis is a lengthy stay at a special institution where the sufferer can be treated.

An institution known as Federal Prison.

[manor321]

1. Another symptom is a tendency to commit obvious crimes right out in the open :)

[guillaumeb]

3. And deny it while sounding angry.

A terrible disease.

[dalton99a]

5. +1

[Eliot Rosewater]

2. the singers are the best

[guillaumeb]

4. Soon to be Grammy Award winners. eom

[Garrett78]

6. It would be inflammation of the Mueller.

[guillaumeb]

7. And it affects SO MANY people.

Terrible.

[LakeSuperiorView]

9. Muellerphobia would be fear of Muellers...

You are correct that an itis would be inflammation or swelling of.

[jimmy the one]

8. why Muller became Mueller

The only known cure for Muelleritis is a lengthy stay at a special institution where the sufferer can be treated.
An institution known as Federal Prison.

Haha guillaum; no link, so I presume this is your original.

An aside as to the spelling of Mr Mueller's name. First some background:

Mueller is of German, English and Scottish descent. His paternal great-grandfather, Gustave A. Mueller, was a prominent doctor in Pittsburgh, whose own father August C. E. Müller had immigrated to the United States in 1855 from .. the Kingdom of Prussia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Mueller

So the original prussian - german spelling of Mueller/Muller is with two dots over the *U*, as in August Muller's name above. Similar to the one dot over our lower case *i*, the two dot in german is known as an 'umlaut'. The two dot umlaut can be placed over the german vowels A, O, U, and the couplet AU (the famous fraulein word has an umlaut over au).
The umlaut alters the pronunciation of the vowel or au couplet as follows: Round your lips as if to give a quick kiss to mum or gullfend, and pronounce the A O or U while keeping the lips rounded.
Same rounded lips with the au, which sounds more like ow so it's not 'Froy line' but more like 'froh line'.
https://www.studying-in-germany.org/german-umlauts/

In the 60's or 70's, germans got annoyed with americans mispronouncing names like Müller as muller, or Mädchen as mad chen, or Schön as shawn or in that song 'danke shane', and there being not much they could do about it since english & american typewriters & keyboards did not have the umlaut capability to put two dots over those vowels & au, so as to prompt proper pronunciation.
They came up with a novel idea to put an 'E' after the umlauted U and A and O (but not the au couplet). This they figured would make americans pronounce the A O and U as long vowels, not short, and the long sound would be closer to proper pronunciation. Such as RUE, SUE, DUE, MAE, DOE, ROE, HOE, TOE.
So that explains why the E is added, over time, to Robt Muller's last name to make it MUELLER, forcing pr MYOO LER or MOO LER.
He can pronounce it however he wants to of course, not saying he agrees with it, but this was the german strategy.
As we know by now from fehrenseh apparat (er, TV), it's been largely ignored by americans (!) who usually pronounce it MULLER, rhyming with duller, or culler.
Arg, Gott im himmel.

[montana_hazeleyes]

14. This is interesting jimmy the one.

Before I'd heard Robert Mueller's name and just read it, I was pronouncing it as if it was pronounced Miller.
That was because years ago the S.F. Giants (I'm a fan) had a player whose last name was spelled Mueller and he pronounced it as Miller.

[Stuart G]

10. I like the last 2 sentences with the cure:

The only known cure for Muelleritis is a lengthy stay at a special institution where the sufferer can be treated.

An institution known as Federal Prison

[guillaumeb]

11. My own prescription.

And, no access to a phone.

[edbermac]

12. It's what happens when you don't wear protection.

[guillaumeb]

13. Very nicely said.

But Trump cannot protect himself from his biggest enemy:

himself.