White, straight man pretty happy sexism, homophobia and racism all sorted out now

[Soph0571]

A white, straight man has announced that he is satisfied that homophobia, racism and sexism are now all sorted out and we don’t need to worry about any of that anymore.

Simon Williams, an IT consultant from Chipping Norton, made the announcement at a local pub as he ordered a pint of real ale.

“Let’s be honest,” he began, promisingly.

“Trendy right-on people go on about homophobia and sexism and racism, and giving more rights to gays, black people and girls.

“But what they’ve got to realise is that we’ve sorted all that now, in the real world everyone treats black people, women and gays as if they were normal.

“In my company, you be sacked for calling someone the n-word, and rightly so. If that’s not proof there is no longer a racism issue in this country, then I don’t know how I can help you.

Mr Williams went on to explain that he was fine with women and even homosexuals in the workplace.

“We’ve got Mrs Stewart who’s in charge of HR. Now, she must have got that job on merit because you’ve only to look at her to know it wasn’t for her looks.

“Also, there’s Toby, he’s one of the coders. He’s a bender and no one’s got any sort of problem with that.

“I mean, obviously you don’t want to spend too much time talking to him on your own in case he gets the wrong idea, but in a group, he’s fine. A good laugh actually.

“It’s not the 1970s any more people. It’s sorted now, we don’t need you all banging on about more rights for women, blacks, or homosexuals.”

Mr Williams was clear about what society should be focusing on.

He went on, “Thing is, we’ve spent ages focusing on rights for all of that lot and we haven’t really thought about rights for normal blokes like me.

“I haven’t had any new rights for ages.”

[link:https://newsthump.com/2018/12/07/white-straight-man-pretty-happy-sexism-homophobia-and-racism-all-sorted-out-now/|

Well that is alright then we can all breathe a huge sigh of relief!
Satire is always at its best when you really cannot tell the difference!

[3Hotdogs]

1. Is a bender an alcoholic?

[KPN]

4. I'm guessing not. Gay male?

[KY_EnviroGuy]

7. Bender.

From: https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=bender

2. A homosexual male (British slang). Someone who is bent, that is, not straight.

In my day, a bender was a really, really bad drinking episode......

[Honeycombe8]

2. This is not in the U.S. But his days left at his job are probably questionable.

Hey, dude. There ARE no "new" rights. There are just rights that you've had since the beginning of time. Those others that, in your words, are treated now like they are "normal"? They have not had those rights that you've had and take for granted. Those are not "new" rights. They are rights we are all supposed to have, but which have been denied to some.

[yardwork]

3. This is satire.

[Honeycombe8]

11. If it was satire, that was a total waste of time, then.

Satire and sarcasm should be clearly identified, so readers will know not to waste their time.

[yardwork]

12. I thought it was hilarious. The OP mentions satire in their paragraph at the bottom.

Satire is an excellent way to get a point across.

[Dr Hobbitstein]

14. Clearly identifying satire and sarcasm ruins the point of satire and sarcasm. nt

[erronis]

18. Right. Like giving the punch line before telling the joke.

[Chellee]

19. Yes, but think of how much time will be saved if you give people the punchline first.

[cwydro]

21. The OP clearly stated it was satire.

Read all the way to the end before you jump to conclusions, lol.

[yardwork]

5. This is essentially what the Supreme Court said about racism in the U.S.

This column is well-done satire, but the Justices who wrote the opinion overturning voting rights laws were serious. Their decision was based on the preposterous claim that there's no longer any racism in the U.S. That's why we have so many states suppressing the vote now.

[treestar]

13. Exactly, right after that decision

states in the South started closing polling places to make them farther away from AA voters, and limiting where you could go to register.

[yardwork]

16. Yes, and creating photo ID laws and other tactics.

[KPN]

6. Perfect ... and yes, satire at its best.

[left-of-center2012]

8. It's not real

"NewsThump – UK spoof news and satire
Topical news satire from the UK and around the world. Never letting the truth ruin a good story."

https://newsthump.com/

[Soph0571]

9. Which is why I said...

....Satire is always at its best when you really cannot tell the difference!

[Dr Hobbitstein]

15. .

?1

[Squinch]

10. Kick! Hilarious! I bet some will get their knickers in a twist over

it though!

[calimary]

17. Only problem is, for a small but very real segment of America, this kind of thinking is NOT satire.

It's how they really feel.

[Kind of Blue]

20. Well, done. When either "Let's be fair" or "Let's be honest"

is the opening then satire or some serious crap ensues.

[Garrett78]

22. What's so sad is that seems to be how a majority of white people feel.

It has become increasingly difficult for people to identify satire in this batshit crazy country.