First off, full-disclosure, I'm Asian American. My mom is a first-generation immigrant from South Korea, my dad is a third-generation Japanese American who grew up in rural Hawaii.
I'm now middle-aged and raising my own family, and now more than ever I'm noticing some stark difference between those with strong ethnic/immigrant identification and my friends who are, let's just say, "generic" white Americans.
For myself and many friends and relatives, immediate and extended family is a major resource. My mother and mother-in-law live in the area and are our default childcare for emergencies and special occasions (and they do it willingly). We pool money for weddings, sending kids to college, funerals, etc. I'm also actively involved with the local Japanese American community at a Buddhist Temple, practice aikido (a martial art) at a local dojo, and volunteer for different activities. All of these provide friends and a sense of belonging.
There's some drawbacks. Everyone being tight-knit does mean that family and community sometimes feels intrusive or even stifling. Sometimes I butt heads with those who are more conservative socially, religiously or politically. I and others occasionally get roped into obligations that feel like a burden.
But overall, I have never felt alone or without someone or somewhere to go to.
On the flipside, a lot of my white American friends seem more prone to loneliness, or even if they are married, don't get nearly as much help from their extended family (or even their parents in some cases). At the same time, they are the ones who seem to complain the most whenever they have to do something for someone else (even their own kids).
Anyway, it feels like something is out of joint in this country. I'd like to believe in an America where everyone might come together to help even a single person like George Bailey in "It's A Wonderful Life," but that seems unlikely these days.
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