Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

Croney

(4,659 posts)
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 11:50 AM Dec 2018

Bye-bye, bank-teller bigot.

I bank on my phone but had to go in person to close an account. As the teller was doing his thing, in the room's absolute silence, I said merrily, "Wouldn't it be nice to have some classical music? This place is so quiet!"

He grinned and said, "Yes! Christmas music!" I said very nicely, "Well, not everyone is Christian, which is why I suggested classical, because (and here I made a sweeping arc with one arm) it transcends all religions!" (Yes, I know that's not always true, but I was just quipping.) Then I added, "Don't you agree?"

His face turned to stone and he said not another word to me. As he handed me my paperwork, I said with a laugh, "I guess not!" and I almost SKIPPED out of that bank knowing I don't have to go back.

117 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
Bye-bye, bank-teller bigot. (Original Post) Croney Dec 2018 OP
I am not sure who the bigot is in your story. wasupaloopa Dec 2018 #1
Lol Croney Dec 2018 #5
For suggesting classical music? Mariana Dec 2018 #33
Someone wished me a blessed day this morning. Hortensis Dec 2018 #43
Sharing peaceful wishes of good will Harker Dec 2018 #72
I have to say I'm confused as well lame54 Dec 2018 #114
Rude. Scoopster Dec 2018 #36
Dafuq? Codeine Dec 2018 #48
+100 Sneederbunk Dec 2018 #51
You need to reread it i guess. Nt USALiberal Dec 2018 #55
Why? I should change my opinon I guess? wasupaloopa Dec 2018 #61
I Get it, even if above didn't. LakeArenal Dec 2018 #2
Thank you. Croney Dec 2018 #10
I get it, I don't agree with it. wasupaloopa Dec 2018 #12
how is including everyone OriginalGeek Dec 2018 #31
What, exactly, did the OP do Mariana Dec 2018 #35
The OP itself is part of it wasupaloopa Dec 2018 #60
Agreed. The OP fails to see how his/her actions came off in that exchange realmirage Dec 2018 #50
Evidently. Harker Dec 2018 #78
PS. Christmas is a secular holiday too. FSogol Dec 2018 #3
Kind of seems like you went in trying to draw the foul /nt LongtimeAZDem Dec 2018 #4
+1 ProfessorGAC Dec 2018 #6
Poster planned on the bank not having any music? LakeArenal Dec 2018 #7
I meant went into the exchange. The person was doing their job, and the OP chose to start it up LongtimeAZDem Dec 2018 #16
Interesting... 2naSalit Dec 2018 #25
"Seems like a lot of extra emphasis was added to this story in your reckoning." LongtimeAZDem Dec 2018 #28
Just wow? The use of "wow" is irritating. As if everyone in the world gets it but the object of wasupaloopa Dec 2018 #63
It would appear that 2naSalit Dec 2018 #111
I read it. I wanted to ssy what I felt about "wow" wasupaloopa Dec 2018 #116
I am so glad I do not feel the need to lecture others Tipperary Dec 2018 #95
me too...nt 2naSalit Dec 2018 #112
Thank you. Croney Dec 2018 #102
I agree with you rusty fender Dec 2018 #99
Kind of seems like the OP didn't intend to talk about any holidays in any context. Mariana Dec 2018 #86
Exactly...nt 2naSalit Dec 2018 #110
Wow, you're in a merry frame of mind. cwydro Dec 2018 #8
To clarify... Croney Dec 2018 #9
"His face turned to stone and he said not another word to me." brooklynite Dec 2018 #11
I condensed it a lot. I can see that my story was Croney Dec 2018 #14
I get your point, but ... FakeNoose Dec 2018 #13
Thank you. I see now that I placed too much emphasis Croney Dec 2018 #18
You made an assumption that the teller is Christian and thus a bigot,that is irrational if not wasupaloopa Dec 2018 #30
Yes. Quite clear where the prejudging was coming from. Tipperary Dec 2018 #44
I'm an atheist but actually like traditional Xmas music nmgaucho Dec 2018 #15
Me too. Love picking one of these for a couple hours Bonx Dec 2018 #20
I'm an atheist too, and like Christmas music Croney Dec 2018 #21
Too bad. The teller could simply have said something like vlyons Dec 2018 #17
Whew, somebody gets my point. Thank you. Croney Dec 2018 #19
Man, a lot of people really do go out of their way Mariana Dec 2018 #45
Good point! Croney Dec 2018 #57
If I were the clerk vlyons Dec 2018 #77
I have been the clerk Mariana Dec 2018 #80
Why should the teller have to say anything? The assumption thar teller is a bigot and is lacking wasupaloopa Dec 2018 #22
I know, poor guy just making innocent (and seasonal) small talk and OP has to make an issue. cwydro Dec 2018 #23
My Wife Loves Christmas Music ProfessorGAC Dec 2018 #26
Nah... the teller's better response... FBaggins Dec 2018 #24
Perfect post. cwydro Dec 2018 #27
Yep. Thanks, you're right. Croney Dec 2018 #29
:) Hortensis Dec 2018 #37
Much as when I go out and hear jazz playing... LanternWaste Dec 2018 #32
The ultimate song for some true Cristmas cheer............ DFW Dec 2018 #34
you have assaulted me! therefore ... Hermit-The-Prog Dec 2018 #97
Revenge is yours! DFW Dec 2018 #107
As someone who worked with the general public for decades GusBob Dec 2018 #38
+1 /nt LongtimeAZDem Dec 2018 #39
People get awfully uptight about Christmas these days. Mariana Dec 2018 #40
I agree. Croney Dec 2018 #54
A great deal of classical music is Christian music Harker Dec 2018 #41
Yes, and let me add... robbob Dec 2018 #47
Lol! cwydro Dec 2018 #56
I'd love to hear Zen shamisen Harker Dec 2018 #65
Also, many Christmas songs robbob Dec 2018 #66
Jingle Bells... Harker Dec 2018 #68
A large percentage of classical music IS Christian... LuvLoogie Dec 2018 #42
It's so interesting to read your responses. Croney Dec 2018 #46
No doubt you added to his enjoyment of another day at work. cwydro Dec 2018 #49
I respect your opinion. Croney Dec 2018 #52
And to you! Harker Dec 2018 #58
Thank you! Croney Dec 2018 #59
Aren't you special, baiting a very captive audience! 50 Shades Of Blue Dec 2018 #53
As you can see from the responses, the teller was not at fault realmirage Dec 2018 #62
I know. I've worked behind a counter before. Croney Dec 2018 #64
You sound reasonable. Perhaps realmirage Dec 2018 #67
Btw, I give you credit for strength here. realmirage Dec 2018 #69
Thank you. I'm 74, and learned long ago Croney Dec 2018 #73
I've worked behind the counter, too. Mariana Dec 2018 #88
You're right, I hadn't thought of it that way. Croney Dec 2018 #89
Cool story, bro. nt Tommy_Carcetti Dec 2018 #70
Thank you! Croney Dec 2018 #76
I can only assume you do not understand the definition of the phrase "cool story". Marengo Dec 2018 #93
😏👍🏻✌🏻 Floyd R. Turbo Dec 2018 #82
Must be the moon phase, this is one of several cool stories floating around today Marengo Dec 2018 #91
That in and of itself is a cool story. Tommy_Carcetti Dec 2018 #92
Indeed, but alas not nearly as cool. No heroic conquest of despicable entities. Marengo Dec 2018 #94
There are indeed several. Maybe there's a contest. Tipperary Dec 2018 #98
Who is a bigot and why? xor Dec 2018 #71
I'm a non Christian who takes part in Christmas. BannonsLiver Dec 2018 #74
What I don't like is the whole "Jesus is the reason for the season" signs ProudLib72 Dec 2018 #75
What with all the Jesus-centric songs? oberliner Dec 2018 #79
Disagree 100%, Proud72, and I really don't understand Hortensis Dec 2018 #90
Well, I was being somewhat tongue in cheek with this ProudLib72 Dec 2018 #105
Well, I did wonder if it could be a shorthand version of this. Hortensis Dec 2018 #106
Mind you, those people who insist on telling everyone ProudLib72 Dec 2018 #113
+100. :) Hortensis Dec 2018 #117
Thanks for this post oberliner Dec 2018 #81
Thank you. Croney Dec 2018 #85
You're welcome oberliner Dec 2018 #108
"Christmas" is a secular federal holiday jberryhill Dec 2018 #83
The Messiah is more suited to Easter than Christmas Retrograde Dec 2018 #101
I fail to see where the bank teller is a bigot. Kaleva Dec 2018 #84
Maybe the Christmas music that should be played should be of this variety: geardaddy Dec 2018 #87
Christmas music is awful but you were trying to start some shit. phleshdef Dec 2018 #96
"And then, suddenly, party streamers fell from the ceiling." Oneironaut Dec 2018 #100
Did you forget to add the bigoted part of the Anecdote? GulfCoast66 Dec 2018 #103
Three rules of the service industry. No politics, religion, or race discussion. Decoy of Fenris Dec 2018 #104
The teller seems to have followed your advice. Kaleva Dec 2018 #109
I don't see bigotry here Raine Dec 2018 #115

Hortensis

(58,785 posts)
43. Someone wished me a blessed day this morning.
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 12:49 PM
Dec 2018

I'm not a person of faith. And these days I feel threatened by religious extremists who are endangering our nation.

But I also know that most who say these things around here are good hearted, decent people; and because I'm not a religious bigot, I chose to assume she wasn't either.

So I smiled back and said, "Thank you, and the same to you." And I left her smiling too.

LakeArenal

(28,817 posts)
2. I Get it, even if above didn't.
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 11:56 AM
Dec 2018

After the Y quit political talk a guy at our gym shows up with Giant NRA on his shirt with an American flag. I wanted to turn on MSNBC so badly.

 

wasupaloopa

(4,516 posts)
12. I get it, I don't agree with it.
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 12:04 PM
Dec 2018

big·ot
/ˈbiɡət/
noun
noun: bigot; plural noun: bigots

a person who is intolerant toward those holding different opinions.
"don't let a few small-minded bigots destroy the good image of the city"
synonyms: chauvinist, partisan, sectarian; More


Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?

OriginalGeek

(12,132 posts)
31. how is including everyone
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 12:31 PM
Dec 2018

more motey (edit - "specky". I'm used to the KJV where it's a mote, not a speck) than excluding all but one?

Mariana

(14,856 posts)
35. What, exactly, did the OP do
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 12:34 PM
Dec 2018

that indicates the OP "is intolerant toward those holding different opinions"?

Harker

(14,015 posts)
78. Evidently.
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 02:13 PM
Dec 2018

The OP is reading and considering many other points of view, without slamming any doors.

That's how we grow... with help from each other. I find that the older I get the less likely I am to say provocative or insensitive things.

At seventeen I said, "congratulations" to fellow buying a dozen local newspapers at the news shop where I worked, since to that point only new parents had made such purchases for the birth announcements. His mother had died, and he was getting copies of the obituary notice.

LakeArenal

(28,817 posts)
7. Poster planned on the bank not having any music?
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 11:59 AM
Dec 2018

Christmas can be secular. But not usually.

Plenty of oh holy night etc etc

LongtimeAZDem

(4,494 posts)
16. I meant went into the exchange. The person was doing their job, and the OP chose to start it up
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 12:07 PM
Dec 2018

By their own account, the teller smiled and made conversation; the OP then chose to (quite theatrically, by their description), lecture the teller.

What did the teller do? "His face turned to stone and he said not another word to me". As an atheist, I might not have done anything different with a customer who was making a scene.

And, that's all the teller did in this story; didn't refuse service, or lecture the customer back, or insult them; nothing.

Yeah, I think the OP was looking for it, based on the events described.

2naSalit

(86,572 posts)
25. Interesting...
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 12:25 PM
Dec 2018

a two sentence observation does not a lecture make, nor was the customer making a scene... just wow. Seems like a lot of extra emphasis was added to this story in your reckoning.

I get pretty tired of people insisting that the only thing anyone should be thinking about is xmas and all its commercial trappings, when it is prevalent in a conversation I make the same claim as the customer, politely. People need to realize that there are other beliefs than their own and just because capitalism has a grip on a concept does not require all of us to participate in it or enjoy it if we find it offensive or uncomfortable.

Don't know that I would use the term bigot in the telling of this tale but I certainly did not come away with the idea that the customer was rude, making a scene or insulting in any way. The teller should have kept their beliefs/opinions to themselves if anyone should have checked their emotions, customer service and all.




LongtimeAZDem

(4,494 posts)
28. "Seems like a lot of extra emphasis was added to this story in your reckoning."
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 12:27 PM
Dec 2018

Far less so than calling someone a "bigot" based on the information given, IMO.

 

wasupaloopa

(4,516 posts)
63. Just wow? The use of "wow" is irritating. As if everyone in the world gets it but the object of
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 01:23 PM
Dec 2018

"wow." It is a lazy way of making a statement that is really meaningless IMHO.

2naSalit

(86,572 posts)
111. It would appear that
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 06:21 PM
Dec 2018

you weren't able to read past the first sentence as immediately following my exclamation of "wow" to indicate that I was not getting where the other commenter got all that it did from the OP. Because immediately following the word "wow" I go on to explain what I meant by that, if you had been able to get that far, you might have noticed that part of my comment.

But whatever, have a happy day anyway.

 

rusty fender

(3,428 posts)
99. I agree with you
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 04:45 PM
Dec 2018

I am also an atheist, but I wouldn’t put a stranger, especially someone doing his or her job, in a position to agree or disagree with my belief that that classical music ascends all religions

I love classical music, but I don’t associate it with religion. If I’d been that teller I might have reacted the same way, perhaps, but being the wise-ass that I am, I probably would have said merry Christmas and left it at that

Mariana

(14,856 posts)
86. Kind of seems like the OP didn't intend to talk about any holidays in any context.
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 02:28 PM
Dec 2018

How, exactly, as the OP supposed to divine that the clerk would inject his own personal favorite holiday into his response to a general comment about music vs. silence?

Croney

(4,659 posts)
9. To clarify...
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 12:00 PM
Dec 2018

I was never rude, but he became very rude. I guess that was my point, that he became rude after my comment that not everyone is Christian.

brooklynite

(94,510 posts)
11. "His face turned to stone and he said not another word to me."
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 12:02 PM
Dec 2018

Please describe the rudeness. I suspect a number of us don't see it.

Croney

(4,659 posts)
14. I condensed it a lot. I can see that my story was
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 12:06 PM
Dec 2018

one of those "you had to be there" tales that don't make sense if you have to use that phrase. Sorry about that.

FakeNoose

(32,634 posts)
13. I get your point, but ...
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 12:04 PM
Dec 2018

... in my opinion if someone likes the music that our culture refers to as "Christmas music" that doesn't means he/she is a bigot. A lot of the popular holiday tunes aren't the slightest bit religious in nature, it's more about nostalgia than anything. Some of the greatest American songwriters of the 20th century were Jewish and yet they penned many "Christmas" songs.

Croney

(4,659 posts)
18. Thank you. I see now that I placed too much emphasis
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 12:09 PM
Dec 2018

on the music part, when the focus should have been the "not everyone is Christian" moment when the atmosphere soured.

I need to contemplate before I post. Lol

 

wasupaloopa

(4,516 posts)
30. You made an assumption that the teller is Christian and thus a bigot,that is irrational if not
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 12:30 PM
Dec 2018

illogical.

Croney

(4,659 posts)
21. I'm an atheist too, and like Christmas music
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 12:13 PM
Dec 2018

Vylons, in a post below, makes my point better than I did.

vlyons

(10,252 posts)
17. Too bad. The teller could simply have said something like
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 12:08 PM
Dec 2018

"Well I would prefer Christmas music, but classical is nice too." That way, he could have expressed his opinion without invalidating yours. Your original comment was merely being pleasant without being confrontational. It's the Christmas season, and aren't people supposed to be generous-natured and gracious? Some of these so-called Christians are so self-righteous and ungracious. Rather than reading the Bible, they should study an etiquette book.

Croney

(4,659 posts)
19. Whew, somebody gets my point. Thank you.
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 12:11 PM
Dec 2018

I'm not exactly batting a thousand here, and rightly so. People have made good points and I don't mind it.

Mariana

(14,856 posts)
45. Man, a lot of people really do go out of their way
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 12:55 PM
Dec 2018

to be offended about this kind of thing.

I guarantee you if the conversation were reversed here - if it had been the clerk who suggested classical music, and you who said you wanted to hear Christmas music, these same people would be denouncing the clerk as the bad guy in the story.

vlyons

(10,252 posts)
77. If I were the clerk
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 02:11 PM
Dec 2018

I would have engaged in a few pleasantries. E.G. "What are your plans for the holiday?" or "Do you have little children to celebrate with." of "Well let's hope the weather will be nice and pleasant." Or if the customer got all defensive about not being a Christian, I still would have said something pleasant back. Why is it so difficult for people to just be nice to one another?

Mariana

(14,856 posts)
80. I have been the clerk
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 02:14 PM
Dec 2018

and the best thing this time of year is to shut up about holidays, unless the customer brings it up first - and the OP didn't.

 

wasupaloopa

(4,516 posts)
22. Why should the teller have to say anything? The assumption thar teller is a bigot and is lacking
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 12:15 PM
Dec 2018

in some way is what is wrong here.

 

cwydro

(51,308 posts)
23. I know, poor guy just making innocent (and seasonal) small talk and OP has to make an issue.
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 12:19 PM
Dec 2018

Calling someone a bigot because they like Christmas music?

I’m not in the least religious, and I love many Christmas songs, some of them religious ones.

ProfessorGAC

(65,008 posts)
26. My Wife Loves Christmas Music
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 12:26 PM
Dec 2018

Neither of us have done much other than drive by a church except for parents' funerals in 40+ years. She has the cable channel that is christmas music all the time, or her CD player that looks like an old fashioned radio, going with seasonal music all the time from mid-Nov to after the New Year.

We just see them as seasonal tunes.

FBaggins

(26,731 posts)
24. Nah... the teller's better response...
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 12:24 PM
Dec 2018

... would be to turn on Handel's Messiah (as reworked by Mozart in case the OP wants to be snooty about "classical" )

he could have expressed his opinion without invalidating yours.

Which is just what the OP fails to do.

Croney

(4,659 posts)
29. Yep. Thanks, you're right.
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 12:29 PM
Dec 2018

What I thought would be the focus of my post has not come across, and it's all about the music. I get it.

 

LanternWaste

(37,748 posts)
32. Much as when I go out and hear jazz playing...
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 12:31 PM
Dec 2018

Much as when I go out and hear jazz playing, I inform the person playing it, "How about some classic rock? Not everyone is a pretentious knob..."



Not really, I like jazz. If I did what you did however, I'd be forced to consider myself a pretentious knob-- but I'd skip and laugh and wave my arms to better ignore it.

Hermit-The-Prog

(33,328 posts)
97. you have assaulted me! therefore ...
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 04:34 PM
Dec 2018

Take this!




(Actually, thanks! Been years since I heard that tune you posted and that's the first time I've seen that animation. )

DFW

(54,365 posts)
107. Revenge is yours!
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 05:46 PM
Dec 2018

Actually the animation was a tribute to Freberg. I'm not even sure he was still alive when it was made. My parents used to play me the original 45 when I was little as a subtle warning. I got the hint, but suspected something was slightly off as far as being a serious threat went.

GusBob

(7,286 posts)
38. As someone who worked with the general public for decades
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 12:44 PM
Dec 2018

I have spent plenty of time on both sides of the counter

What I can tell you is this time of the year is the worst. You are literally damned if you do and damned if you don't. It seems as if the holidays bring out the edginess in more folks for some reason. We called it the Grinch syndrome at one of my jobs

He probably just got his head ripped off from some other customer for the exact opposite reason

And just so you know, a teller has no say whatsoever about the banks policy about music

Mariana

(14,856 posts)
40. People get awfully uptight about Christmas these days.
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 12:45 PM
Dec 2018

Such that some even consider the suggestion of playing anything other than Christmas music in December, or saying that everyone doesn't celebrate it, makes you a bigot. It's ridiculous.

robbob

(3,528 posts)
47. Yes, and let me add...
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 01:01 PM
Dec 2018

Classical music represents white euro-centric culture at its most snobbish. How will such music make minorities from other cultures feel? Should they not be mixing in traditional music from India, China, Africa, etc. so no culture feels left out? Just taking the argument to it’s absurd conclusion!

...maybe this is why the bank stopped playing music! 😁

robbob

(3,528 posts)
66. Also, many Christmas songs
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 01:33 PM
Dec 2018

aren’t even about Christmas! Just off the top of my head:

Frosty the Snowman
Winter Wonderland
Baby It’s Cold Outside (Whoops! They aren’t playing THAT one anymore!)

...please feel free to add to the list of “Christmas songs that don’t even MENTION Christmas”!

LuvLoogie

(6,997 posts)
42. A large percentage of classical music IS Christian...
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 12:45 PM
Dec 2018

A lot of Classical music is Christmas music, And a lot of Christmas music is Classical.

Some of the origins of classical music can be found in the modal work of Christian monks.

See Gregorian Chants and Vespers

The composers to which you allude were often inspired by their Christian God.



Croney

(4,659 posts)
46. It's so interesting to read your responses.
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 01:00 PM
Dec 2018

That's what I like about this board.

In my mind, the story was about me asking him to agree that not everybody is Christian and therefore classical would be better. I'm not in the habit of carrying on conversations with bank tellers, and this all happened quickly; that is why I thought I'd post about it. It was an unusual exchange, for me.

It felt like a morgue in there. Any music would have been nice, now that I think of it! Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas.

 

cwydro

(51,308 posts)
49. No doubt you added to his enjoyment of another day at work.
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 01:04 PM
Dec 2018

Glad it cheered you so much that you “skipped” out of the bank.

I find this to be rather a sad story.

Croney

(4,659 posts)
52. I respect your opinion.
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 01:10 PM
Dec 2018

I guess you had to be there. Any further description of his behavior would be seen as embellishment, so I will chalk this up as a bad bit of storytelling. Sorry.

Harker

(14,015 posts)
58. And to you!
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 01:18 PM
Dec 2018

Last edited Wed Dec 19, 2018, 01:48 PM - Edit history (1)

I think anyone who might have thought you bigoted will rethink that assessment based on your openness.

Everyone has their own take. As a Buddhist recently partnered with a Christian, and being part of a very small minority where we now live, I both offer and accept heartfelt wishes for a "merry Christmas." I've also been scorned by some for my beliefs, or lack thereof.

I'm for getting along!

 

realmirage

(2,117 posts)
62. As you can see from the responses, the teller was not at fault
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 01:23 PM
Dec 2018

Rather it appears from your own story that you were going out of your way to make a big point about being an atheist or at the very least adamantly non-christian, which is sort of a rude thing to do in a casual conversation about background christmas music at the bank. People who work with the public deal with all kinds of insane people. I can tell you that from experience. This teller is just working a register for little pay, with no music playing, probably bored and miserable, and a customer walks in, the teller responds to brief small talk with the customer out of politeness and suddenly finds that the customer wants to make a big cultural point about christianity at the counter at the bank. You make a large sweeping motion with your arm, very animated, and awkward, and the teller doesn't want to get unexpectedly dragged into a very serious debate about religion with someone who seems ready to be confrontational.

Seriously, people who work in customer service deal with the craziest shit. When a customer shows signs of being a bit off balance, you never know what you might say that will spark a wild reaction and a "I want to see your manager." Anyone who comes in and shows a hint of wanting to make a scene triggers the employee into "oh god another customer who can't get in and out of the store without making a scene" mode.

My advice is just try to be polite, understanding, and reasonable with all differing points of view, don't take shit so seriously, and don't try to change the world by confronting an underpaid bank teller over christianity during the holidays. They don't need or want that shit. They just want to get through the shift with the least amount of suffering possible.

Croney

(4,659 posts)
64. I know. I've worked behind a counter before.
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 01:32 PM
Dec 2018

I didn't come across as a kook. I was simply surprised at his abrupt change in demeanor when I said not everybody is Christian. That's it. No heated exchange, no plumping up of my feathers. It wasn't an appropriate conversation to have at a bank. That's why I talked about it. You're right, of course.

 

realmirage

(2,117 posts)
67. You sound reasonable. Perhaps
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 01:43 PM
Dec 2018

since you've worked with the public you can see that even a non-christian would clamp up when a customer brings up religion at the counter. It might not have been that the teller was offended, but just sensing the potential for a very inappropriate conversation about religion while clocked in at work.

I'm sure you've been in a similar situation. I know I have.

 

realmirage

(2,117 posts)
69. Btw, I give you credit for strength here.
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 01:49 PM
Dec 2018

Most people are too weak to admit when maybe they weren't seeing the whole picture from all points of view. Those who can, become wise, and it's a real sign of strength to put aside the ego in favor of truth. Not that I have wisdom or strength. But I try, with mixed results.

Croney

(4,659 posts)
73. Thank you. I'm 74, and learned long ago
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 02:03 PM
Dec 2018

that thinking with my ego is not bringing my best brains to the table. I've certainly been schooled in this thread, and I'm better for it.

Mariana

(14,856 posts)
88. I've worked behind the counter, too.
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 02:37 PM
Dec 2018

In my opinion, it's inappropriate to talk about any particular holiday to a customer unless the customer brings it up first - and you didn't. You made a rather general comment about music, and he felt the need to inject Christmas into the conversation.

xor

(1,204 posts)
71. Who is a bigot and why?
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 01:58 PM
Dec 2018

Last edited Wed Dec 19, 2018, 03:39 PM - Edit history (1)

I'm not a fan of Christmas music myself, but I don't consider people who like Christmas music to bigots. Besides, most people don't even view Christmas as a religious thing, nor is all Christmas music religious in nature. Isn't that why Christians are often times saying "put Christ back into Christmas"?

To be honest, even as a non-christian who reluctantly partakes in Christmas festivities to satisfy those in my life, I too probably would have gave that same look after an exchange like that.

Nothing against you. Maybe I'm imagining it differently than you are.

BannonsLiver

(16,370 posts)
74. I'm a non Christian who takes part in Christmas.
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 02:04 PM
Dec 2018

I’m not too invested either way on the music, but a good deal of it is 100 percent secular. I find it weird someone would be offended by Jingle Bells or Frosty. Maybe try to lighten up a little.

ProudLib72

(17,984 posts)
75. What I don't like is the whole "Jesus is the reason for the season" signs
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 02:05 PM
Dec 2018

No, Jesus has nothing whatsoever to do with the holiday. It's a celebration of the winter solstice. The idea that Jesus was born in December has been proven false over and over again. Early Christians just saw a way to assimilate a pagan holiday and brand it as Christian.

Hortensis

(58,785 posts)
90. Disagree 100%, Proud72, and I really don't understand
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 03:45 PM
Dec 2018

this viewpoint. That Christians visiting a festival on a trade route eventually invested it with religious meaning has meaning to succeeding peoples who like that meaning, even if not to the others who'd been celebrating at that time of year for far longer, and ever since

But regarding absolutism, which strikes this liberal as almost the antithesis of liberalism, surely the meaning of Christmas is an individual choice? I don't see how we can make that for choice for anyone but ourselves. We can, obviously, claim that our own favorite view applies to all the rest of humanity, but...really?

ProudLib72

(17,984 posts)
105. Well, I was being somewhat tongue in cheek with this
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 05:28 PM
Dec 2018

You're right that there is a range of meaning we ascribe to anything (including music) and no two people ascribe the same meaning. So the OP was seemingly making the argument the Christmas songs that are all pervasive at this time of year make those who are not Christian feel isolated. I don't think that anyone can claim what they feel personally for the whole of the group: you can't say that just because you dislike Christmas music that all non-Christians hate it too.

My response was sort of the ultimate attack in the war on Christmas. I am correct that biblical scholars completely disagree with Jesus being born in December and that Christmas is an assimilation of a pagan ritual. However, even with that proof, do any of us really give a damn? Everyone is still buying presents. Everyone is still putting up lights and other decorations. Come hell or high water, we, as an American culture, are going to celebrate Christmas. I guess my point is, you can choose to be a dick about it, but it isn't going to stop anyone from celebrating it.

I guess I wasn't being very obvious in my first post, was I?

Hortensis

(58,785 posts)
106. Well, I did wonder if it could be a shorthand version of this.
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 05:33 PM
Dec 2018

People do occasionally rant here, after all. I also use words in the privacy of my living room that I don't even use here. (Jeanine Pirro is coming to mind at the moment.)


ProudLib72

(17,984 posts)
113. Mind you, those people who insist on telling everyone
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 06:41 PM
Dec 2018

that Jesus is the reason for the season are on the opposite end of the spectrum and equally obnoxious. I think a few people posting above mentioned that it is a secular holiday. I might not go that far since it is based on Christian belief; however, I would argue that a lot of people just enjoy having the time off to spend with friends and family. I don't think we need to have pushy comments from either side. Everyone needs to mind their own business and let others enjoy the holiday in whatever way they want.

 

oberliner

(58,724 posts)
81. Thanks for this post
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 02:15 PM
Dec 2018

It's led to some interesting conversation and responses. I appreciate you sharing it and personally think your point was a good one.

 

oberliner

(58,724 posts)
108. You're welcome
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 05:53 PM
Dec 2018

I have also been really impressed with the way you have handled some of the more critical responses.

 

jberryhill

(62,444 posts)
83. "Christmas" is a secular federal holiday
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 02:16 PM
Dec 2018

It is not, as some attempt to claim, an exclusive religious holiday. If it were, it would not be a US federal holiday.

I know of NO Christian denomination which involves as a matter of religious practice dancing snowmen, decorated evergreen trees, flying reindeer, etc.. Most of the trappings and customs of Christmas bear no relation to any Christian religious belief or practice. Quite obviously, there is nothing in the Bible - either in the gospels or the putative acts of the apostles, which involves Jesus celebrating his putative birthday or anyone else celebrating it for that matter.

Likewise, most of the "Christmas music" has nothing whatsoever to do with any religious belief, custom or practice.

A question for you:

Is Handel's "Messiah", in your mind, "Christmas music" or "classical music"? Off the top of my head, I'd guess much of what qualifies as "classical music" is sacred music of some kind (e.g. practically the entire opus of Bach), as opposed to Christmas carols which, in the main, are not religious at all.

Retrograde

(10,134 posts)
101. The Messiah is more suited to Easter than Christmas
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 04:52 PM
Dec 2018

once you get past the "For Unto Us a Child Is Born" part. How it got to be associated strictly with Christmas I don't know - but then "Jingle Bells" and "Frosty the Snowman" are about winter in general, which in the part of the Us where I grew up were more January than December activities.

Back to the original question: The Messiah is an example of classical music from a particular time period with a Christian theme.

 

phleshdef

(11,936 posts)
96. Christmas music is awful but you were trying to start some shit.
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 04:30 PM
Dec 2018

Thats some passive aggressive trolling on your part.

Oneironaut

(5,493 posts)
100. "And then, suddenly, party streamers fell from the ceiling."
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 04:49 PM
Dec 2018

A man, nearly in tears and resting his hand on my shoulder, uttered a whispered, "Thank you."

Who was that mystery man? None other than Albert Einstein.

GulfCoast66

(11,949 posts)
103. Did you forget to add the bigoted part of the Anecdote?
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 05:01 PM
Dec 2018

Cause I did not see it.

I’m a nonbeliever and kind of like Christmas music. I might have responded just like the teller.

 

Decoy of Fenris

(1,954 posts)
104. Three rules of the service industry. No politics, religion, or race discussion.
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 05:07 PM
Dec 2018

Been in that teller's place, myself. The -second- someone mentions anything about religion, the conversation's over. Too much liability, not enough to gain from continuing the conversation. I'd rather come across as stone-faced and grumpy than take my chances yammering a hot-button topic with some random dipshit.

Raine

(30,540 posts)
115. I don't see bigotry here
Wed Dec 19, 2018, 08:05 PM
Dec 2018

only you who started up something with someone who was working at their job. I'm sure he's even happier that he won't have to deal with you again.

Latest Discussions»General Discussion»Bye-bye, bank-teller bigo...