I am still in a state of shock

[Miigwech]

over my experiences, over the past 3 months, caring for my poor mother, who walked on, a couple of weeks ago. The hospital told my mother, after a fall, that she did not break her hip, then sent her to rehab to strengthen her, with a broken hip. After one week
in-house rehab, (because insurance would not pay for more), four days at home, she went back to emergency room due to extreme pain. The same nurse that was there for the first emergency room visit, called my Mom a liar, saying that she fell again and did not report it. The orthopedic surgeon apologized for the hospital having misread the first scan. By the time we finally got her into a special surgery hospital for total hip replacement she was so far knocked down in her health. Four weeks with a broken hip, for someone my mothers age, has a mortality rate of 80%. My Mom was living in a supposed great assisted living facility. The ambulance guys treated my Mom like a sack of potatoes. Sorry, I know most EMT's that have compassion. Those guys pulled the straps right across her skin by her ankles. I had to cover her with a blanket and made them re-secure her over the blanket. We have a giant problem with elder care ... my eyes are now open.

[Adrahil]

1. So sorry to hear that. NT

[Miigwech]

11. Thank you

.... demand, advocate for your elders care.

[femmedem]

2. I'm so sorry. That's awful.

My mother is unsteady on her feet, with Alzheimer's, and I worry that something like this is in her future.

[Miigwech]

15. Watch them like a Hawk

because they will lie ... demand 'protocol' care, guidelines in place for elderly if there is an injury. How could we know that there was such a thing as 'protocol' for person's of a certain age if they fall, we went with the doctor's at the emergency room. We should have demanded a MRI, which would have clearly shown the broken hip.

[Horse with no Name]

50. Flat films or a CT can do that just fine

As they show hard structures and MR’s show soft structures.
I hope she is feeling better.
I’m sorry this happened.

[lambchopp59]

63. As a member of the imaging team

I can say that many occult fractures barely or even fully non-visible on plain films get picked up on a CT scan.
I've seen it an astonishing number of times.
Some occult cracks can exist all the way through a patient's trochanter who gets pain medicated, sent home, then "crunchk", instant two piece femur ... just from walking.

[KentuckyWoman]

69. I thank you for this... with all my heart

for older people this bit of info about the abilities and limitations of the tests is really good to know.

[lambchopp59]

65. Caution advised. Excessive helicoptering over some caregiver situations can be disastrous.

I agree that family involvement in elder care is essential, welcomed at my facility.
There are monumental exceptions, however. Families often expect far better outcomes from caring for extreme aged parents than are realistic, resulting in someone who is veritably tortured through their last days. I've seen it so often, despite warning from the MD that attempts may be futile and palliative care should be carefully considered: "Oh, no, Doctor. Do everything you can to save mama".
The worst scenario involves helicopter parents with a teenage girl. Discretion must be applied to avoid danger to a viable fetus, including getting helicopter parents out of the way to elicit honest responses about sexual activity.
Unfortunately, many pregnancies turn out to be compromised by parents who refuse to believe that "their good, christian daughter"...
I'm not saying that all caregivers are trustworthy it is laisse-faire. But there are critical moments to get out of the way.

[Stuart G]

3. Sorry.

[BigmanPigman]

4. I am not surprised a bit.

Member's of my family and friends have experienced similar situations. Half of them almost had to be readmitted for shock when they got their bills and saw what was not covered by insurance.

[Vinca]

5. That's horrible. Your poor mother.

[LoisB]

6. So sorry, what a nightmare.

[a kennedy]

7. I do not want to alive to be in assisted living.......

Have heard horrible, horrible stories like your mother and other stories....... I hope I can die fast and not need a “place” to recooperate. Damn. I’m so sorry for your mother’s experiences.

[democratisphere]

8. The USA ranks 37th or 38th in the quality of healthcare provided

to patients. Cost the most while delivering substandard quality. How does that make sense? Once again it is all about the money and nothing else! Sorry you and your mom were the victims of the American Criminal Enterprise Healthcare System, with your mom paying the ultimate price!

[guillaumeb]

9. Sorry to read this.

I hope that your mother is doing better.

My mother in law died as a result of a nursing home fall.

Too many patients for too few workers.

But the company is very profitable.

[MyOwnPeace]

31. "But the company is very profitable"

And THAT, my friends, is Republican Healthcare in America!

[guillaumeb]

39. Indeed. Profit always comes first. eom

[erronis]

40. The profiteers are not beholden to any party, just profits. We can find Dem-voting/supporting ones

as well as reps, inds, non-political.

Money is the god, the goal.

[MyOwnPeace]

41. NO argument there.........

it is the duty of a society to decide what kind of citizenry they want to be:
Do we take care of our own?
Do we tear families apart at the border?
Do we ignore those who struggle?

Well, at this point, we know those answers..........

[sheshe2]

10. I am so sorry about your mom.

I hope she will recover sufficiently. Sending vibes.

[Ohiogal]

12. I could write a book

on some of the careless and heartless treatment and comments my mother received from supposed "good" facilities. (hospitals, dialysis center, transport workers, even nurses and doctors)

And yes, it's true many of those places are understaffed and have a high turnover due to paltry wages.

The only place that treated her with loving compassion was the Hospice.

I am sorry your mother had to endure this nightmare. You really have to keep on top of everything which is nearly impossible. Wishing you all the best.

[area51]

13. I'm so sorry.

I hope she's now getting the help she needs to get better.

[pnwmom]

14. What do you mean her insurance wouldn't pay for more?

If she's on Medicare, it would pay for a lot more than one week.

When you say your mother "walked on," are you saying that she passed away? If so, I am so, so sorry for your loss. It's hard enough to lose a parent without feeling that the system let her down.

[Miigwech]

20. She had Medicare

but her primary insurance was through the company where my Dad worked. They said 'No', actually a blessing in disguise because we got to the truth faster. "Walking On", is the way of saying that someone has died ... for some Native Americans ... as was my Mom.

[pnwmom]

27. Again, I am so very sorry for your loss, Milgwech.

I also lost my mother this year, and I know the "what ifs" are so painful.

I wish you peace and the comfort of knowing how much you loved each other.

[denvine]

16. I am so sorry to hear about your Mother.

It is so difficult to see a love one treated that way. The elderly are so vulnerable. Our system really does need to do better with elderly care.

[CousinIT]

17. The United States puts none but corporate monetary value on healthcare. . .

... it's actually corporation-care, health care is secondary to that if even considered at all - ESPECIALLY if the patient is poor, non-white, female, or elderly. We also have among the highest - if not THE highest maternal and infant mortality rates in the WORLD - even with the fancy-dancy, corprat-profit-driven most goddamned expensive healthcare system on the freaking PLANET.

There are sadly many things that make the United States the most sadistic, immoral, greed-and-hate-driven, psychopathic nation (or one of them) --- and our so-called "health care" system is one of the biggest among those things.

It is simply UNACCEPTABLE.

EDIT: bytheway, if I were you, I'd consider suing the crap out of that hospital for sending your elderly Mom off to "rehab" with a broken hip and then calling her a liar a week later when she returned in extreme pain from it. I'd endeavor to OWN that place.

[Miigwech]

25. We are looking into this

... the first letter from the (for profit hospital) states something like, 'the fracture was so small ...' to which, I say, you can't be half pregnant! My sister has a friend who fought a hospital for 10 years (over the death of his father, who died while taking a stress test) and had to finally give it up. These Corp hospitals are like trump ... they use the legal system to overpower the individual

[spanone]

18. ...

[StarryNite]

19. We learned over the years with our parents

that you have to be their advocate when they are in the hospital or even under a doctor's care. We had many good experiences with hospitals and doctors but we have also had many bad experiences. Many of the problems were with prescribed drugs. For instance my mother-in-law had Alzheimer's. When we move her and my father-in-law into a memory care home her doctor immediately prescribed Adavan for her without speaking to my husband who had the medical power of attorney. The drug caused her blood pressure drop when she stood up from the couch which caused her to fall and break her hip. She never should have been prescribed that drug due to her age and dementia.

I suggest researching all the possible side effects for any drug they are prescribed. Many people don't have any side effects but you need to be aware of what to watch for. My dad, who was 102 years old at the time, suffered a bad side effect from a strong antibiotic prescribed for a mild infection. That incident sent him on a downward spiral which he could not come back from. He died a couple of weeks after his 103 birthday. Where he had been very sharp of mind three months prior, even living alone until then, all the hospital stays and drugs, ( he wasn't on any prescriptions at all prior to the antibiotic) he wound up dying a muddle brained old man. On his last hospital stay, he was asked the typical questions to see where his was mentally. They asked him how old he was and he correctly stated he was 102 years old. The next day he was released with no prescriptions but when asked how old he was when he was back in the assisted living home he said he was 157 years old! Three hospital stays in less than three months changed him into somebody we didn't even know!

People who have never had this experience with a loved one tend to pooh, pooh it. They are fortunate to have not gone through it but everybody should be aware of what can happen. Now I advise people to research 'hospital induced delirium' or 'hospital induced dementia' when a loved one, particularly and older person, is going to be in the hospital. There are things that can be done to help alleviate what amounts to a very confusing atmosphere. Here is a link to just one of numerous articles available on the subject.

[link:https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/315313.php|

[Achilleaze]

24. !

[pnwmom]

28. This is useful info, Starrynite! Thanks on behalf of everyone with an older parent! n/t

[warmfeet]

21. This is unacceptable.

We must work our butts off. Change this insane system.

[akraven]

22. So, so sorry to read about your mom.

Health care in the U.S. is basically nonexistent if you don't have big $$ over and above private insurance and Medicare (both, for my spouse). I would not go to our only hospital for ANY reason. Fly me to Seattle where the doctors and nurses actually have training!

Sending you extreme good karma. Remember to take care of YOU, too!

[Miigwech]

29. Thanks and you are correct to really watch every inch of your own heathcare

[Meowmee]

23. So sorry

That is horrific. I have been through and heard similar stories. Maybe comsider a lawsuit. I hope she is ok now and doing better.

[UpInArms]

26. I am so sorry

[PatrickforO]

30. And a lot of us will at some time need it. The only people who can actually afford the $6K or so

per month that it costs are, well...not us.

I'm sorry about your mom. Unfortunately, most of those EMTs make around $14/hr so.

Why is it, I wonder, that a childcare worker, a home care worker, EMTs and so on, make so very little while useless parasites like stockbrokers and CEOs make stratospheric salaries?

[erronis]

42. I know yours was a rhetorical question, but the parasites/stockbrokers/CEOs are destroying

healthcare and the rest of the country because they have bought the politicians and legal system, and they don't care who they hurt on their way.

How many EMTs, teachers, home health/childcare workers can take the time off to lobby for themselves? That's exactly why the bosses try to keep the workers in barely subsistence wages - keep them down on the farm. Don't let them get uppity and think they can talk to the big-wigs on a level field.

[PatrickforO]

46. Exactly! And you know who gets it?

Elizabeth Warren.

I urge you to look into the 'Accountable Capitalism Act' she introduced in June of this year. It expands the fiduciary responsibility of CEOs beyond mere shareholder earnings to also encompass worker welfare, consumer welfare and the environment.

Imagine, if you will, how many problems THAT would solve!

Then, get rid of Citizens United, re-draft and pass a new Fairness Doctrine and we're in business!

Also, please look into the National Popular Vote Compact. If we can get enough states to pass that, then we effectively circumvent the electoral college - we could have avoided this whole nightmare of Trump.

[erronis]

48. Thank you. I will pay more attention to these items you list.

This sounds like another whole topic to continue forward outside of this thread.

[dlk]

32. When Health Care is For-Profit, Ugly Things Happen

I’m so sorry about your mother.

[srobertss]

33. I am very sorry

about the treatment your mother suffered. I know three women whose broken hip went undetected until the pain pushed the doctors into looking more closely. My mother was one of them. But the mistreatment your mother received in addition to that is truly outrageous. My mother’s fracture wasn’t so bad that it immbolized her, she was still able to use a walker and she healed. But the mother of a close friend of mine just passed away, with the fracture having gone undetected from a fall that occurred 6 months ago. They looked at all kinds of things to try to figure out what was causing the pain and finally, just two weeks ago, they found micro fractures, put her on palliative care, and she very quickly passed away. It feels like the morphine caused her to relax enough that she let go of life.

So this leads me to assume that these fractures are difficult to diagnose. These cases were all in different areas, rural and urban.

I am 65 and twisted my ankle and went to immediate care. Sitting in a wheelchair as an older woman, I was suddenly struck by the feeling of vulnerability of being an older woman in the medical system. It was a relief to realize how temporary my situation was, but my day will come.

[Honeycombe8]

34. I had a relative w/serious health issues in a nursing home for 9 years. I know how it is.

It made it worse that she was bitter and wouldn't allow family to be notified of things or check up on things. She was of sound mind and wanted to take care of everything herself. That made it very hard. We weren't able to follow up on anything, rehab or whatever, or speak to her doctor. The care she got was horrible. She was low income, so you can imagine. They all have issues. One of the big problems was theft. We couldn't mail her gifts (I was out of state), because she wouldn't receive them. I had to send gifts by FedEx or UPS and require a signature. Her cheap cell phone was stolen repeatedly. Her dvd player. Her remotes. The place smelled. It was horrible.

I'd rather die than go to a nursing home. It's not like they show in the movies, with nice people walking around or playing games or cards. Most of the people are very sick, and some are mentally unwell. I hate to think about it.

[samnsara]

35. I am so sorry (((hugs)))

[KT2000]

36. my eyes are open too

my friend broke her pelvis and rather than do surgery they drugged her into unconsciousness. They padded the sides of the bed for when she came out of it in pain. Then they sent her to a nursing home in the next town because all local beds were full. Once I saw an aide put a food tray down on her table and walk out - she was still drugged into unconsciousness. Finally a doctor was willing to do the surgery - which she sailed through just fine.

I had no power and her son who did was not on the ball.

As I get older I am thinking of ways to off myself if I find myself in such a situation. It is horrible to be at the mercy of cost cutting, profit making facilities where some workers are good but others are not. They are expected to fill in the gap with their hearts and souls while the corporations empty the bank accounts of the residents.

I am sorry for your loss. Peace to you Miigwech.

[Basement Beat]

37. Good grief- reading that just put me in rage.

I hope for a safe recovery for your mom.

[DarthDem]

38. Oh, I Am So Sorry :(

Elder care is indeed a disaster. I'm so sorry your mom had to go through that. She was lucky to have you to assist her.

[mahina]

43. Oh man, to deal with her loss under better circumstances would be too much. But with her being

treated with so much disrespect, I'm in shock for you too, all the way across the ocean.

Hope you can find a way to forgive, and let those in control of the care home and hospital know how terribly they have failed, and that they must not continue to do so.

Good luck with healing your heart, Miigwech. Aloha no

[colorado_ufo]

44. Incredibly sorry.

Blessings on you all!

[dlk]

45. Have You Considered Filing a Complaint With the State Medical Board?

This sounds like truly awful & substandard care from the hospital nurse & others. They might investigate.

[catbyte]

47. I'm so very sorry, Miigwetch

I made a tobacco offering to the spirits to guide your mom safely in her journey.

Again, please accept my condolences.

[Bear Creek]

49. Something needs to be done

Sorry to hear. Bigger problem than known.
My mother died earlier this month. I had been fighting to get her out of the nursing home. The corporate guardian. Was fighting me for guardian ship. Funny the whole time she was in hospice the ass was not there. The medicare recovery act is the biggest problem. The hospice nurse said the majority of their patients have lawyer guardians.
The home called about midnight said she had bumped her head it wasn't major but they were taking her the hospital as a precaution. Her skull was cracked. They said she fell. No bruises or broken bones. The injury was on top her head. Funeral director said they never do autopsy on elderly. I want to yell at the social worker who told me she would be safer there.

[doc03]

51. Been there, our medical system sucks and I haven't seen a nursing home

that gives proper care. They charge $6000 plus a month they pay their staff nearly minimum wage and if you complain about the care they always say they are short handed.

[Mike Nelson]

52. That is so sad...

… I've had an elderly and physically disabled relative in emergency a few times. Everyone has always been professional. I can't imagine what it must be like to be called a "liar" and being mistreated on top of the health concerns already there... I just adds to he pain. Reporting the unprofessional individuals might help others - or change the offensive behavior.

[bigtree]

53. don't neglect self-care

...caregiving is one of the most challenging jobs we do as humans.

Best wishes for your family.

[flamingdem]

54. Thank you for sharing this

We need to shine a light on elder care.

[Oppaloopa]

55. OMG I would sue everyone for the pain they unnecessary put your poor mother through.

[mickswalkabout41]

56. This is why

They pay for malpractice insurance.

[auntAgonist]

57. Miigwech, I am SO very sorry for your loss and for the horrible treatment your poor mother received.

I spent 2 weeks in a short term care rehab facility. NEVER again. Shoot me first. One day I waited 7 hours from the time I rang my nurse call button to when I actually got my pain medicine. Unbelievable. I had to look for the administrator's office and demand they do something. ... People in the halls crying, yelling for some unknown entity ...

It's not the sort of place I want to spend my final days.

[pandr32]

58. So sorry for the loss of your Mother

[Brainstormy]

59. Get a lawyer.

You have a case.

[demigoddess]

60. the main reason I don't want to put my handicapped(severely retarded) daughter

into an institution. She is very difficult, she wants to do things her way, never does what you want. I imagine she would not be coddled by carers.

[LittleGirl]

61. I'm so sorry for your loss

Elder care is despicable in the states. I'm so sorry your mother had to spend her final days suffering like that.
Bless you.

[KentuckyWoman]

62. I am in my 70's and have already decided

I have no children. My sister had no children. My brother's kids and grandkids are generally on the "I got mine eff you" side of things. My husband is terminal and probably will get another year, tops.

I am in fairly good health. I have advanced directives. An addendum letter says if I am in a facility and choose not to eat, they are not to force me. Hopefully someone, somewhere will honor that wish. I'm less afraid of moving on than I am of of long term eldercare.

[lunatica]

68. I'm alone too

I’ve been planning to get a lawyer to write up a will and directives about not being resuscitated. I’ve thought for years, after taking care of my mother who had Dementia, that I will end my life my way.

I hope a cure is found for Alzheimer’s soon. It’s a horrible disease! No one should have to get it or have a love one get it.

[kiri]

66. Where did this happen?

Please include basic information about location, at least the state. States differ a lot on their regulations.

Identifying a for-profit hospital, BTW, is perfectly OK.

[lunatica]

67. When my mother was ever in the hospital

I watched her like a hawk. I spent 10 hours a day with her and made sure she was comfortable, dry and fed. The only time I needed help from a nurse was when we would pull her sheet back up the bed because patients tend to slide down if they are in a semi upright position. The nurses were grateful I was there because they were overburdened with patients.

When she went into rehab she had a bed there. I did the same thing there. And I also took care of the comfort needs of other patients who shared a room with her.

Really, you can’t rely on doctors and nurses who are overburdened and overworked and who see their patients for only a few minutes a day.

My mother passed on in 2010, after being bedridden for five years. The last few months she had palliative care. After years of being in bed she didn’t have a single bed sore. Looking back on it I realize I was obsessed about her comfort and wellbeing. But I have never regretted it. I feel I was lucky to have been able to do it. I was able to retire early and use my retirement money along with hers to take care of her. When she died I went back to work and built up my social security benefits and pension which I live on now. I have no regrets.

[SWBTATTReg]

70. A terribly sad but unfortunatelly true in a lot of cases, elder care abuse. Some states do have...

laws against elder care abuse, perhaps some help there? It always help to have a friend or family member (you) there to ensure that they get the best care available, and if not, raise all kinds of heck! More and more of my older friends are choosing to stay at home, and hire/bring someone in so they can remain at home. Bless you and your mom, and I wish you both the best.