A Jew's Christmas Eve Reflections...

[PCIntern]

In my middle-60's I have become curiously reflective upon what was as opposed to what is. The Christmases of my youth were filled with anticipation, festivity, decorations, music, excitement, parties, and a moderate increase in general good-will-toward-all-(wo)men. The radio and TV were filled with "heartwarming" Christmas specials featuring families like Bing Crosby's (yes we later found out that he was abusive to his family), Bob Hope, The King Family, Andy Williams, and many many other celebrities who "came into our homes" and imparted the Joy of the Holiday. There were many many children's books about preparing for the Holiday...my favorite one was Mrs. Coverlet's Magicians, a Weekly Reader Children's Book Club book about three children left with a mean housekeeper/guardian over the season and their truly fun adventures following the witch's spell they placed on the housekeeper to keep her passive and bedridden - they were the "good kids" of the Fifties despite their behavior as kidnappers.

Anyway, we as Jews watched and partook of the excitement as much as possible: going to stores, watching the shows, here in Philadelphia we had spectacular Christmas shows at John Wanamaker's Department Store and the Christmas Village a Lit Brothers. Every storefront was decorated with Christmas greenery, fake spray-on snow on the windows (which had this really peculiar smell), and Christmas carols being played through a speaker either in the doorway or inside the store. It was festive and the spirits of all seemed to be lifted: people said "please" and "thank you", and although we weren't included in the family celebration, the goodwill, at least in my circles, was manifest by many who were normally standoffish.

Christmas Day for us was one of quiet reflection and reading or playing games at homes with friends: no, most of us did not go to Chinese restaurants and movies then. We let the day pass and watched the homes of the people hosting the Holiday fill up with visitors early: for it was one of the two days of the year where dinner is eaten traditionally in the afternoon hours. Later, we would see people leave and realize that starting the next day, it was back to business as usual, except for the hiccup of New Years Eve and Day, which many people found "strangely" depressing.

As I have come to realize later in life: Christmas has lost the acute societal joy and celebration which it had. There is no break in the rising line of anger and tensions which the society has as a part of its fabric, and so people are operating on a rising line of tensions which, during the past say twenty years, has evolved into a nearly full-scale Civil War of ideas and opinions. There is no longer any room for "the other side", and I blame the radical Right wing for this. Their phony War on Christmas, their phony fears that people of color are going to "destroy their way of life" (as though their lives revolve around anything but alcohol, football, and stealthily watching pornography), and their phony patriotism have undermined the fabric of America and thus the enjoyment of the Holiday. I for one loved the Season for all the positives stated above but it has become a depressing landmark in a troubled landscape which is increasingly desolate and barren.

When I was in junior high and high school I had six long years of Latin, taught by a fairly intellectual British man, who assigned many treatises to translate from the end of the Roman Empire. I must say that you could change a few names and dates and publish them now and they would have verisimilitude and be entirely accurate. On this Christmas Eve, I do believe that the barbarians are at the gate. God help us.

[saidsimplesimon]

1. "I do believe that the barbarians are at the gate."

My grandmother would say, if she were alive, "God helps those who help themselves".

I prefer to hang my star on, "I have not yet begun to fight".

The barbarians have been creating mischief for many years from their dark rat holes until their king of chaos arrived. Now, they operate with impunity in the open and consider themselves above the Rule of Law. imo

[elocs]

5. "God helps those who help themselves".

Nope, God helps those who cannot help themselves because if you can help yourself, why would you need God's help?

[Maeve]

12. I prefer 'Luck favors the prepared'

And 'keep your powder dry'. Like you, I don't look to be rescued by someone (or Someone) else. Altho I do have some trust that the systems we have in place and the work of like-minded people will be effective in the long run.

[ananda]

18. Agree. To repair society the Savior Complex has got to go.

We have to be the change we want.

[Sherman A1]

2. I enjoyed Christmas a few times along the way mostly when I was in my teens

but over 4 decades of working in the Retail Sector just beat any enjoyment of any holiday out of me. Even Retired now, it's a matter of going through the motions for this obligation, that event to attend or a family gathering in which I have to bite my tongue when a B-I-L starts his "discussion" of how Obamacare is terrible (he likely wouldn't have insurance without it) or some GOP talking point from another B-I-L.

When working I would often be chided as to why I just was sitting in a corner with a soft drink and not participating in the joy of watching the nieces and nephews rip into a bunch of packages of stuff. Truth being that I was exhausted and just wanted to go home because I needed to be at work the next morning at 4am, but I heard the "Gee, we are going here and there this week as we are off until after New Year's as the office is closed."

I pretty much learned to loath holidays and still do.

[PCIntern]

3. I know how you feel... my empathy to you

I’m in the service sector. Same deal.

And same family gathering issues.

[Tobin S.]

7. Bah humbug!

I hear you. I'm as busy as ever with work as well over the holiday season. My employer is contracted to the Post Office. I'll be at work on Christmas Day.

[Ohiogal]

11. My sister worked retail for years

I know she felt much the same way. We really need to get rid of this materialistic mind set that goes along with Christmas in our society. She told me once she had to work on Christmas Day (she managed a Revco drug store) and a woman came in and bought a bag of pretzels. As she brought them to the counter, she said, "Gee, it's too bad you have to work on Christmas." Sis had to bit her tongue, she said. Funny, though, she quit that job, went into another field (which I admired) but married a right winger! So go figure.

[modrepub]

32. My Short Stint In Retail

was eye opening. I only had to work one post-Christmas day (thank God) but that was enough to know I didn't want to have to do that the rest of my life. I still don't know why someone hasn't done a documentary on what it's like to be at one of the big box retailers the day after Christmas. Maybe, just maybe, people who would watch that would have some empathy for those caught in that mad house.

[TwistOneUp]

4. Very eloquently put!

Thank you for that, and Cheers!

[MyOwnPeace]

6. PCI & Sherman.......

Really enjoyed your reflections. It is interesting to hear other viewpoints regarding what I struggle to keep as something safe and valuable - and to apply the "holiday" into a meaningful part of my life and that of my family.
Wishing you and all on the site PEACE.

[Sherman A1]

8. Thank You Kindly

Hope that You can keep it safe as you wish to do.



Have a good holiday!

[PCIntern]

10. ...and Thank You...

Peace to you and yours...

[Sherman A1]

34. This is what I wanted most on Christmas each year when working in Retail

http://retailcomic.com/comics/december-25-2018/


I post this comic strip each day in a Facebook Group that I still admin for the grocery store from which I retired. The creator of the strip about the fictional Grumbles Department Store Chain really has the lunacy of the industry pegged.

Have a Great Holiday Season (BTW It's National Pumpkin Pie Day!) Yesterday was National Egg Nog Day so I'm like a kid in a candy store.

[llmart]

9. I enjoyed your reminiscing...

I'm a bit older than you, but I too remember how much more quiet and simple Christmas was and how the holiday centered around peace, and gifts were more for the children than grownups. When I got older and my own children were growing up the holidays became more anxiety ridden for me because of the pressure put on mothers to give their children the perfect Christmas. I grew to dislike the holidays but was very clever at covering up how I felt for the sake of my children. Now I'm going to be 70 in a few short months and I still do not enjoy the holidays. I now have a grandchild and feel the need to participate somewhat, so I drag out the very few decorations I have but there's no joy in it. I would just as soon hide in my house until the shopping nonsense disappears as I get overwhelmed in the stores. Everyone has everything they need and if they don't they go out and buy it for themselves, so the concept of gift giving that I grew up with where you put some thought and effort into one nice gift for someone has changed dramatically. Gift cards are all the rage and so people exchange gift cards. No effort or thought need be put into that. Heck, it doesn't even involved having to wrap it up.

So yes, I may sound like a Scrooge but I still do the basics and have plenty of time to do them, but the joy just isn't there. I'm not Jewish but growing up in an atheist family I had the same feelings watching Christmas unfold every year and yes, I do believe we have lost the "acute societal joy and celebration" Christmas once had. But then I think we've lost that joy across most aspects of our society today. This is what isolationism and the concentration on self brings. It is truly sad.

[Sherman A1]

35. I understand your sentiments towards the holidays

and myself just go through the motions these days for the reasons described in my responses above.

I started something years ago that helps a little bit. In the quiet of the morning on Thanksgiving and Christmas before anyone wakes up around the house (I'm an early riser) I go outside and look up at the stars (when we don't have cloud cover) and just say Thank You for all the good things in my life, My health, family, friends, etc and then generally rush back into the coffee because it's damn cold out there!

I am not at all religious (raised Catholic, but got over it) but, this is my holiday moment and it is just mine in the quiet. It seems to put just a few seconds of meaning into the day, before the world takes over.


Take Care

[Honeycombe8]

13. Excellent post. Thanks. "verisimilitude": the appearance of being true r real.

I couldn't remember what verisimilitude means, so had to look that up. It's good to keep up the vocabulary.

[adVance democracy]

14. This belongs in Greatest Threads

[WhiskeyGrinder]

15. The Christmases we remember from our youth aren't much different than the ones we experience

now. Many of us keep Christmas with the same "societal joy," but as adults, and refuse to let it become a "depressing landmark."

[oberliner]

16. Great post

Lots to think about - thanks for sharing!

[NNadir]

17. Thank you for these lovely insights.

There still is a place in the world for love, and we can choose, however more strain it takes, to exclude the ugliness in the world from our personal reflections.

I work with a lot of Hindus as it turns out; and their celebration of the season is a joy to behold.

[mountain grammy]

19. My mom was Jewish, my dad raised Catholic but had long abandoned it.

We had a Christmas tree and presents. and also lit a menorah. Tradition! Dad was a Marine and very involved with Toys for Tots. They collected used toys in those days and we'd help clean them up and mom and dad would make necessary repairs.. We would get a reject or two and some of those ended up being my favorite toys. I remember a beat up toy switchboard with the plugs etc. that I had hours of fun with. I remember the tree and Christmas of 1957 in Cherry Point, NC well, because that was our last one with dad.

After Dad died in 1958, we had no more Christmas trees, but my mom always loved the holidays and played Christmas music constantly. After all, she said, most of the best Christmas songs were written by Jews.. She grew up in Brooklyn and said in the city, even during the Depression, Christmas was lights and good cheer.

[PCIntern]

20. Very poignant...thank you.

[MaryMagdaline]

21. Lovely and thoughtful post

I love the purity of thanksgiving. Everyone of every faith, and no faith, celebrates. It’s just friends, family and eating. I love going to publix and saying happy thanksgiving to every person of every nationality, not worrying whether they are Hindu, Muslim, Jewish, Christian or atheist. It’s the true national holiday.

[Mr. Quackers]

22. wow.

very astute, probably the most intelligent post I have read on this site.

Our culture is toxic.

[pwb]

23. Nice post. The U.S. has interrupted peace in the world for almost thirty years.

Our endless wars make it hard to celebrate the peace of Christmas for me.

Age might have something to do with it too.

You have a nice holiday and new year and thank you for taking the time to remind us what can and should be again.

Peace.

[LuvNewcastle]

24. I started getting depressed about Christmas when I was young.

I loved being with all my family and eating together and telling stories, but I couldn't fully enjoy it while knowing all along that it was going to last one day and that would be it. The family would be gone along with the cheerfulness and the banishment of our cares. Everything would go back to 'normal' the next day, and it was a huge anti-climax. I wondered why we couldn't take some of that happiness and make our lives better all year round. Christmas showed me that these people were only able to be happy for one day a year. It was apparently too much work for people to be kind and generous for any more than a day. In a sense, it made Christmas fake to me.

[sellitman]

25. Early 60's Jew here too.

My wife and kids aren't and Holidays are always complicated. I'm use to it by now though. Many of your thoughts are mine. A Happy Holiday Season and a Health new years.

Kevin

[SCantiGOP]

26. Thanks, PCIntern

A nice way to start my daily perusal of DU. A gentle reminder of what we have lost as a society in innocence and cohesiveness as we have turned our backs on each other in pursuit of money and materialism.

Gentle but also a call to arms. I was in the streets in the 60s, and am prepared to back back in the streets in MY 60s to resist the Barbarians.

[grantcart]

27. Great post

If the Barbarians were at the gates then a wall would make sense, unfortunately we just got a phone call and the Barbarian is a phyromaniac and the call came from inside the house.

Happy Chanukah.

[JudyM]

28. "nearly full-scale Civil War of ideas and opinions" has dramatically diminished good will toward all

The concept of a war on Christmas has undertones of antisemitism as well. I have this year witnessed people with thinly veiled defiance pronouncing the Merry Christmas greeting, as if incorporating others is something legitimate to defend against. As a Jew, I have for many years offered a happy holidays-style greeting to folks I interacted with if I didn’t know their religion. I never intended it as an offense to them.

We will not improve as a society until we find a way to obliterate right wing radio and tv.

[Liberty Belle]

29. Dad was Jewish. Mom was Christian.

Our school sang mostly Christmas carols but also a couple of Chanukah songs, too. Nobody saw anything wrong with this as long as both the religions represented among the class's students were included. So we sang about the Nativity and Frosty the Snowman but also Dreidels and lighting Menorahs.

I worked in retail for a few years but to me, it was an exciting and inspiring time of year. Sure, it was tiring. But I worked in a music store, where parents were giving their children the gift of music and I loved helping them find the perfect piano, guitar, flute, banjo or whatever instrument they chose. Sometimes someone would buy a piano or violin or dulcimer for their husband or wife, a truly loving gift. Or they'd just ask help to find some special sheet music for the musician in their family.

One time a man came in on Christmas eve and bought an organ that made all kinds of instrument sounds and could play chords with one finger. He wanted it delivered to a poor family he knew that had just lost their father -- and he wanted it to be an anonymous gift. That totally restored my faith in humanity.

When it was slow, I'd play music to draw a crowd and lift people's spirits. Sometimes children would start dancing. One time the San Diego chicken (who later became the Padres team mascot) showed up and danced around. A young man in the store was a classical pianist and sometimes we'd play duets.

The employees would sometimes stay late or get together at someone's house and play music and sing carols, too. I really loved that job, my first, as I was just 17 when I started working there, though it paid very little in money we felt rich in spirit.

It was in a mall, right in front of the area where the holiday entertainment would be -- usually carolers or maybe a small brass band playing traditional carols, nothing too flashy or loud.

When I got older and had kids of my own, their classes would adopt a poor family each Christmas and we'd fill up a basket with food and toys. I tried to instill the spirit of the season. To me, being raised in a mixed religion household, it was always more about the spirit of giving and generosity than a religious commemoration.

Today there are far too many so-called Christians who are hypocrites; they get angry over what their perceive as a "war on Christmas" if someone simply wishes one happy holidays (which I've said for decades, having been raised in a mixed-religion household). Yet those same people ignore both the teachings of Jesus and the reason for the season, not caring if children are shivering in cages, or people are dying without healthcare.

Some of the worst ones I've met have, I've found, not been the recipients of much kindness in their lives. They may have plenty of money and material wealth, but they are poor in spirit, having had cold-hearted or even abusive family relationships growing up. Show them a little bit of kindness and you may get an unexpected result. It's worth a try. Teach them that you'll really feel better about yourself the more you give to help others.

[karynnj]

30. I suspect that things were never as perfect as the memory of Christmases decades ago .. and now

there are still wonderful moments enjoyed by families. I appreciate your perspective because sometimes things can be more clearly seen from the outside. Although I converted to Judaism, neither my born Jewish husband or my children have ever been on the outside looking in. With my welcoming family, my kids enjoyed Christmas and when the calendar worked, the cousins enjoyed lighting Hannukah candles and playing dreidel on some non Christmas days when we were visiting my parents.

The joy of Christmas as seen within a Christian family may be very similar to what it was in the 1950s. I see many young families that my nieces and nephews are part of with their young kids who are enjoying things not that different than my experience. They meet Santa Claus and have their picture taken, they decorate Christmas trees, make Christmas cookies for themselves, neighbors and Santa Claus. They go to parties.

I would suggest that while the experience within families might be very similar to what it was when I was a kid. what may have changed a lot is the broader cultural tone. Looking back, I remember that all 5 TV channels we got in the Chicago area all had a huge amount of Christmas programing. Some radio stations played just Christmas music. In addition, every store and especially mall we went into had Christmas music starting after Thanksgiving and holiday greetings were routinely exchanged. It was unavoidable.

Now, I don't think I have either gone shopping in either town center or a mall since Thanksgiving. The grocery store does play Christmas music. While there is still TV Christmas programming, we now have a wealth of choices of programming that we can watch whenever we choose. While this is good, it means that kids today will never (any time of year) have the experience of going to school the day after some highly awaited program and critiquing it with all your friends. As a 13 year old in February 1964, I think that everyone in my classes watched the Beatles on Ed Sullivan. We all watched Heidi every Thanksgiving. It may be that with the wealth of options, we have lost having widely shared TV events - and that is a stark difference now at Christmas.

However, here in Burlington VT, there has been holiday events like those of the 1950s. There was a free showing of "It's a wonderful life" at a local venue where you contributed what you wanted for a charity. There was an annual event called "Winter Tales" where folk music and stories happened. There were performances of the Nutcracker Suite. (I loved the excitement of my 3 or 4 year old neighbor who was going with her parents.)

One huge factor this year, might be the tsunami of Trump stories that have all of us fearing for our country. For the last year, it seems that at least every week - and sometimes every day - there has been another bombshell report. Our concern is matched by the anger of the Trump base at us - even as they get what they want and control all branches of government. I think that has set the tone and created the tension in the country. It may be that for a huge proportion of adults, that tone is so pervasive that it has eclipsed the annual holiday spirit mood.

[Corgigal]

31. I grew up in Westchester County New York.

My best childhood friend, Felicia was Jewish and lived right behind me. The whole family would stop by every Christmas Day and if early enough help open the gifts. Then we would play board games or dolls and we had a great time, for hours and hours.

She went to college in Massachusetts, and I moved on and went into the Air Force. We have lost track of each other, but we both have families now and are doing ok.

I think it's nice to blend holiday traditions, and now my son in law, raised in Puerto Rico is teaching me about 3 kings day. Live goes on, and we learn along the way. Well, democrats do.

[jcboon]

33. Beautiful post

Very well said.