Broken: Trump in Secret Call to Nancy Pelosi

[MineralMan]

Trump: Nancy, it's Donald. Donald Trump.

Nancy: Uh, hello Mr. President...

Trump: I've been thinking, Nancy. About that wall or fence or whatever it is now. Can I run something past you?

Nancy: Uh, OK.

Trump: I asked Jared. You know, Ivanka's wife...anyhow, I asked him if we could build something for $1.3 Billion. You remember, the Democrat congress people were willing to give me that much, right?

Nancy: Well, that was before. Things change next week, you know. But, go ahead.

Trump: Well, it turns out that we can build something for that money. Jared called a fence company he knows. They can build a 4' high chain link fence along the entire border for $1.3 Billion. Now, Jared, you know, Ivanka's wife, says they might have to hire undocumented workers to bring it in for that, but I'm OK with that. I hire a lot of those, myself, you know.

Nancy: A four foot cyclone, fence, Mr. President? How would that keep anyone out? I mean, that's like what you put in your backyard, right?

Trump: Well, see, it doesn't matter. It's not really to keep people out. We need those workers, see. But I told my people I'd build a wall. I have to do it, or I won't get re-elected. You understand that. I mean, the whole wall thing was about the idea, really, right?

Nancy: No, Donald. I don't think we'll go along with you on that. And as for your re-election, I wouldn't worry too much about that. You'll be lucky if you can get Pence to pardon you after I'm done with you. No, I think you should forget about that wall thing. We have other plans for you.

Trump: Wait....what? I don't understand. I am running in 2020, aren't I?

Nancy: {muffled laughter} No, Donald. You're not. Better make other plans. Bye, now.

Note: For the humor challenged: This is satire.

[N_E_1 for Tennis]

1. He went to Jared...nt

[PJMcK]

3. Yeah, you know, Ivanka's husband! (n/t)

[MineralMan]

4. Wife. Ivanka's Wife!

[Ms. Toad]

12. Because being a female spouse is an insult?

Not funny.

[MineralMan]

13. Uh, no.

Not in any way do I intend it to be an insult. The post is a piece of satire. Look at it satirically, please.

[N_E_1 for Tennis]

5. Don't know if you have Jared jewelry stores...

in your area, but that’s a tag line for them. In the tv commercials people are all gushing over the piece of jewelry the guy bought his wife, fiancée, girlfriend and they look at each other with those knowing eyes and proclaim, “He went to Jared”, inferring the store is the best and he is the greatest for shopping there.

[PJMcK]

9. Yeah, I got it!

I thought it was a great post. Was riffing on the way MM kept having Trump refer to Jared as Ivanka's husband.

We live in NYC and hear those stupid ads all the time!

[N_E_1 for Tennis]

11. Ok, Happy Holidays...nt

[MyOwnPeace]

2. You know.............

I'm not so sure that such a call couldn't happen.

He's nailed. He's screwed. He's backed into a corner.

Except for those suffering from his "shut-down" - I'm loving it!

[malaise]

6. Nancy would have hung up

Father he said Democrat congress and. Not Democratic

[Ohiya]

7. Satire!

Admit it, you are tapping his phone!

[DinahMoeHum]

8. Tee hee! Thanks for the laughs.

I badly needed 'em today.

Enjoy the holidays.

[Hermit-The-Prog]

10. fake news! He wouldn't say, "it's Donald"

"I am your President! The best President! Bow before me!"

"Yeah, Donald, sure. There are no cameras. What do you want?"