Hilarious: Dave Barry on 2018: It Boofed.

[lindysalsagal]

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/magazine/wp/2018/12/30/feature/dave-barrys-year-in-review-2018/?utm_term=.3bda59d95703&wpisrc=nl_most&wpmm=1

Story by Dave Barry Illustrated by Ryan McAmis DECEMBER 30, 2018

We can summarize 2018 in two words:

It boofed.

We’re not 100 percent sure what “boofing” is, despite the fact that this very issue was discussed in a hearing of the United States Senate Judiciary Committee. All we know for certain about boofing is that it is distasteful and stupid.

As was 2018.

In spades.

What made this year so awful? We could list many factors, including natural disasters, man-made atrocities, the utter depravity of our national political discourse and the loss of Aretha Franklin. Instead we’ll cite one event that, while minor, epitomizes 2018: the debut of “Dr. Pimple Popper.” This is a cable TV reality show featuring high-definition slo-mo close-up videos of a California dermatologist performing seriously disgusting procedures on individuals with zits the size of mature cantaloupes. You might ask, “Who on Earth would voluntarily watch that?” The answer, in 2018, was: MILLIONS OF PEOPLE. That is the state of our culture. We can only imagine what new reality shows lie ahead. We would not rule out “Dr. Butt Wiper” or “People Blow Their Noses Directly Onto the Camera Lens.”

[underpants]

1. Dave Barry

[lindysalsagal]

2. Great paragraph:

Fueling this confidence are reliable rumors swirling around Washington that special counsel Robert Mueller is about to do some major thing that, while not specified in the rumors, will definitely mean the downfall of Trump and THIS TIME IT IS REALLY HAPPENING, PEOPLE. In anticipation of this event, CNN unveils a special panelist desk that is the length of a regulation basketball court, providing the capability to have an unprecedented 170 panelists sitting side-by-side expressing outrage simultaneously, and bringing CNN one step closer to the day when it has more panelists than actual viewers.

[tblue37]

3. Nope. I read the whole thing, and it is full of bothesiderisms. I was ready to throw my

tablet across the room more than once.

[Initech]

4. Dr. Pimple Popper is a thing?

[TrogL]

8. There's literally hundreds of YouTube videos

Start with Mr. Wilson. It goes downhill from there.

[Ilsa]

19. True. And very uncool. They should say "dermatologist" if

that is what she is. And there are other skin conditions, like melanoma, fibrous cysts, and diseases of the skin that are serious business.

[MrsCoffee]

5. Ow, my balls.

We have officially entered a period of Idiocracy.

[Initech]

9. I'm just waiting for them to replace the House and Senate with the House Of Representin'.

Yo South Carolina, what's up???

[MrsCoffee]

17. Lol!

[dhill926]

6. seriously funny shit....

making us laugh about this year, is quite the feat...recurring Eagles fans joke is hilarious...

[tetedur]

7. Today in a store I saw a game "Pimple Pete" for children 5 and up.

I couldn't believe it. And yet there it was.

https://www.target.com/p/pimple-pete-game-presented-by-dr-pimple-popper-explosive-family-game-for-kids-aged-5-and-up/-/A-53603529?ref=tgt_adv_XS000000&AFID=google_pla_df&fndsrc=tgtao&CPNG=PLA_Toys_Priority%2BShopping&adgroup=Toys_Priority_TCIN%2Btop%2Btoys&LID=700000001170770pgs&network=g&device=c&location=9025236&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI6fXWhpHI3wIVAp7ACh06OAmDEAQYAiABEgJ-JPD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds#

[Initech]

11. Noooooooooooo!!!! No no no no no no no no no no!!!!

[2naSalit]

12. +1

Okay, that has to die with 2018. Just sayin'.

[Stonepounder]

10. I wonder if "boofed" is derived from "boofer"?

The ‘‘Bloofer Lady’’ in Bram Stoker’s Dracula: the bloodthirst of a child hunter

Any reader of Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1897) remembers how Lucy Westenra transforms into a vampire after the continuous attacks of the Count. Her transformation into the so-called ‘‘bloofer lady’’ emphasises her new existence as an undead creature.

Probably way more than you want to know at:

http://sheffieldgothicreadinggroup.blogspot.com/2017/04/the-bloofer-lady-in-bram-stokers_19.html

[Aristus]

13. The article you linked to recounts how little attention is paid to the 'bloofer lady's' role

in the novel, and the possible reasons why.

I've always enjoyed, and received a good scare, from sweet Lucy's transformation into the evil, child-hunting vampiress. It's the most compelling portion of the novel, other than the opening Harker-in-Transylvania chapters. Thank you for the link to an interesting examination of this character.

[calimary]

14. It boofed, alright.

[erronis]

15. A bit more serious:

NOVEMBER

… the nation braces for what political analysts agree will be the most important midterm elections since the dawn of time. Voters prepare for the big day by binge-watching Netflix, because regular TV has turned into a gushing sewer of political attack ads apparently created by and for dimwitted 4-year-olds.

President Trump hits the campaign trail to warn voters that if Democrats are elected there will be nobody to protect the nation from a deadly caravan of alleged Hondurans moving relentlessly toward the U.S. border at approximately the speed of a senior golf foursome. This caravan, according to the president, contains gang members, diseases, diseased gang members, Middle Easterners, spies and diseased Middle Eastern spy gang members carrying what Trump claims — and Fox News confirms — is “a 200-foot-long atomic switchblade.” U.S. troops head for the border, having been ordered there by the president, but only after he was informed by military advisers that the Rio Grande is too shallow for aircraft carriers.

For their part, the Democrats appeal to voters with a three-pronged message:

Prong One: The Democrats are the party of fairness, diversity and inclusion.

Prong Two: Anybody who disagrees with the Democrats about anything is Hitler.

Prong Three: But more racist.

The election goes smoothly, except of course in Florida, which should seriously consider outsourcing all of its government functions to a competent organization, such as Montana. As usual the most confused county in Florida is Broward — often called “the Hawaii Emergency Management Agency of counties” — which to this day is not 100 percent certain how it voted in Dewey vs. Truman.

Nationwide, however, it is clear the voters have given the Democrats control of the House while leaving the Republicans in control of the Senate, thereby guaranteeing that for the next two years Congress will accomplish nothing, which may well be what the voters intended.

I think we need to be alert to Prong Two: "Anyone who disagrees with the Democrats about anything is Hitler."

Don't stifle dissenting views just because the "other" is not "yours".

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

16. K&R

[Achilleaze]

18. Boofer republicans are a disgrace

deplorable

[progressoid]

20. Don't knock the show until you see it!