"I'm sorry" is poetry.

[LAS14]

Every now and then I see a column in the paper or a blog post that takes up the question of what is the appropriate response to bereavement in another in a social setting. You're in the greeting line at a funeral, say. The opinions are strong and often conflicting, but one opinion that crops up a lot is "I'm sorry" doesn't do it.... for various reasons. It hit me the other day that "I'm sorry" is poetry. It is code for "we're all part of the human race and the experience of loss is shared but ineffable," etc., etc.

So that's what I'm sticking with in the absence of a close relationship.

[samnsara]

1. i like that!

[CharleyDog]

2. when my SO died suddenly, at a young age, hearing a "I'm sorry" was fine

and I appreciated the sentiment, and the symbol of the sadness.

Yet, surprisingly, I got a lot of people telling me THEIR stories about THEIR loved-one who died. They wanted to talk about THEM. I listened, and comforted THEM. But really not helpful at the time. A simple "I'm sorry" is much preferred.

Just having people there with you means a lot, and you never forget, I've found, the people that made the effort to be there with you. It meant a lot. Several of my "best" friends told me "they don't "do" funerals" and didn't bother. And it turned out, later on over other incidents, they were not friends at all really.

[stopdiggin]

3. Absolutely is

Totally agree. You don't have to explain to me in detail how YOU feel. I probably can't take that in right now anyway. I'm so sorry is plenty .. totally appropriate .. and sincerely appreciated, to the degree it can be.

And my response? Thanks for coming. And that too meant sincerely.

[TheBlackAdder]

4. What sucks is, "Sorry for your loss" which seems to have been made popular by those CSI shows.

.

I was just at a viewing the other day and I said "I'm sorry." That "for your loss" part is just crap, so I left it out.

.