How much glue does Chumpy need to keep his hair piece from flying off in the wind?

[MoonRiver]

Looks like it's almost in air right now!

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

1. He must buy hair spray by the barrel.

[MoonRiver]

2. Raving mad narcissists gotta do what they gotta do!

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

3. I'm thinking spar varnish might be more effective.

It withstands all kinds of weather and is nice and glossy.

Spar varnish was originally developed for coating the spars of sailing ships. These formed part of the masts and rigging, so suffered a hard life in service. They were flexed by the wind loads they supported, attacked by sea and bad weather, and also suffered from UV degradation from long-term exposure to sunlight. The most important condition for such varnishes to resist was the mechanical flexing. This required a varnish that was flexible and elastic. Without elasticity, the varnish would soon crack, allowing water to penetrate to the wood beneath.

That's exactly what he needs.

[MoonRiver]

4. Lol, I never knew!