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Sat May 25, 2019, 09:56 AM

Nancy Pelosi Slams Edited Footage With Claim That When She's Drunk You'll Fucking Know It



WASHINGTON—Denying that there was any factual basis to the doctored footage shared by President Trump that suggested she was intoxicated, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi blasted the viral video clip Friday by claiming that you’ll fucking know it when she’s drunk. “Yet again, we have the President spreading baseless accusations on his Twitter feed, this time implying I’ve been drunk on the job, when in reality there’s not going to be any goddamn ambiguity whatsoever when I decide to get loaded,” said Pelosi, telling reporters that she couldn’t have been under the influence in the video because it did not feature her clutching the lectern for dear life while flipping off her colleagues and calling them “a gaggle of cocksuckers.” “This video is a distraction from the malfeasance and cover-ups that this administration is actively engaged in, so let me put this matter to rest once and for all: When I get plastered, I’m a mean-ass drunk, so until you see me actively pissing on the House floor or pressing a broken beer bottle up to [Minority Leader] Kevin McCarthy’s dumb face, you dipshits can rest easy knowing I’ve been sober as a goddamn judge.” Pelosi reportedly went on to do a keg stand on the Capitol lawn to demonstrate exactly what “you fucking geniuses” should be on the lookout for.


https://politics.theonion.com/nancy-pelosi-slams-edited-footage-with-claim-that-when-1835013354

19 replies, 7517 views

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Arrow 19 replies Author Time Post
Reply Nancy Pelosi Slams Edited Footage With Claim That When She's Drunk You'll Fucking Know It (Original post)
kpete May 2019 OP
WhiskeyGrinder May 2019 #1
Lars39 May 2019 #2
Mme. Defarge May 2019 #3
riversedge May 2019 #4
catrose May 2019 #5
MBS May 2019 #6
riversedge May 2019 #12
Politicub May 2019 #7
Scarsdale May 2019 #8
smirkymonkey May 2019 #11
LAS14 May 2019 #9
NNadir May 2019 #10
pangaia May 2019 #13
Mountain Mule May 2019 #14
INdemo May 2019 #15
mcar May 2019 #16
SpankMe May 2019 #17
NastyRiffraff May 2019 #18
lunatica May 2019 #19

Response to kpete (Original post)

Sat May 25, 2019, 10:02 AM

1. I love this.

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Response to kpete (Original post)

Sat May 25, 2019, 10:03 AM

2. Lol

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Response to kpete (Original post)

Sat May 25, 2019, 10:07 AM

3. Damn straight!

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Response to kpete (Original post)

Sat May 25, 2019, 10:13 AM

4. I could not believe she said that when I read the headline. It is the Onion of course.

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Response to riversedge (Reply #4)

Sat May 25, 2019, 10:20 AM

5. Sadly, now America's finest news source

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Response to kpete (Original post)

Sat May 25, 2019, 10:53 AM

6. Satire aside, Nancy Pelosi doesn't drink alcohol.

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Response to MBS (Reply #6)

Sat May 25, 2019, 11:32 AM

12. Thanks. I did not know that.

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Response to kpete (Original post)

Sat May 25, 2019, 11:00 AM

7. Yes!!

Damn right!

...let me put this matter to rest once and for all: When I get plastered, I’m a mean-ass drunk, so until you see me actively pissing on the House floor or pressing a broken beer bottle up to [Minority Leader] Kevin McCarthy’s dumb face, you dipshits can rest easy knowing I’ve been sober as a goddamn judge.


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Response to Politicub (Reply #7)

Sat May 25, 2019, 11:13 AM

8. "Sober as a judge"

Any judge but Kavanaugh that is.

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Response to Scarsdale (Reply #8)

Sat May 25, 2019, 11:25 AM

11. Well, we now know that aphorism has lost all it's meaning.

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Response to kpete (Original post)

Sat May 25, 2019, 11:18 AM

9. Signs of the times. I had to read this twice before I saw "Onion" at the top. nt

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Response to kpete (Original post)

Sat May 25, 2019, 11:23 AM

10. My laugh for the day.

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Response to kpete (Original post)

Sat May 25, 2019, 11:34 AM

13. Get this to the dumb shit in the WH.. he'll think it's real

and once again make an ass of himself.


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Response to kpete (Original post)

Sat May 25, 2019, 11:49 AM

14. A much needed laugh!

Thanks!


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Response to kpete (Original post)

Sat May 25, 2019, 11:55 AM

15. Nancy Pelosi should challenge Trump to an alchohol and drug test

then we will see who has the addiction problem.
I have seen close camera shots of Trump on the stump and his pupils are the size of silver dollars, a sign of cocaine use.
Repeating his words, his slurred speech, is not necessarily because of Dementia symptoms, it could also be because of his cocaine hobbit.

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Response to kpete (Original post)

Sat May 25, 2019, 12:09 PM

16. ...

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Response to kpete (Original post)

Sat May 25, 2019, 12:13 PM

17. Oh, holy shit this is funny!!

I can't tell you how much I wish she'd really said this!

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Response to SpankMe (Reply #17)

Sat May 25, 2019, 12:21 PM

18. I can actually picture her saying that

in private, of course. Or in her mind. And I wouldn't blame her.

However, according to her daughter, Nancy doesn't drink.

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Response to kpete (Original post)

Sat May 25, 2019, 07:01 PM

19. This made me laugh out loud!

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