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Floyd R. Turbo

(26,546 posts)
Fri Jul 12, 2019, 01:03 PM Jul 2019

This makes me so 🤬 angry!

A 19-year-old member of the choir at Swansboro United Methodist Church in North Carolina was fat-shamed by a church leader who told her she shouldn’t be wearing jean shorts with her body.

Over the weekend, the singer, Jenna, went into the church’s bathroom to check her phone because a family member was in the hospital. She was confronted by Bonnie Sue Bihary, who immediately began to shame her by talking about how another “chubby” girl in the church wears an appropriate dress that comes to her knees, and why aren’t you doing that?

“So you’re sitting here calling me fat?” Jenna asked her off camera, her voice thick with tears.

The woman put her hands on her hips and asked her: “Oh. You don’t think you are?”

https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2019/07/03/church-leader-body-shames-19-year-old-girl-fat-girls-dont-wear-shorts/

35 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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This makes me so 🤬 angry! (Original Post) Floyd R. Turbo Jul 2019 OP
no excuse for that kinda shit gopiscrap Jul 2019 #1
If anyone had spoken to my daughter like that, there would've been hell to pay! Floyd R. Turbo Jul 2019 #3
Seems pretty typical to me. trev Jul 2019 #2
Or, no church! Floyd R. Turbo Jul 2019 #20
Well, that would be my choice, yes. trev Jul 2019 #25
That's so cruel! smirkymonkey Jul 2019 #4
He has only his fake doctor to blame for that. MrsCoffee Jul 2019 #7
But ... but ... he's *great looking*. trev Jul 2019 #26
Ah, I know the type. LuckyCharms Jul 2019 #5
I would have responded, "And you are ugly. The difference between us, 3Hotdogs Jul 2019 #6
Unfortunately, that is the way this country is Bettie Jul 2019 #8
That woman wasn't exactly skinny. cwydro Jul 2019 #9
Should she really be going sleeveless? lame54 Jul 2019 #10
OK, It's me, right? Does anyone else essme Jul 2019 #11
If she was 16, I could see the drama a bit more, but hey, who knows what's going on in her life. cwydro Jul 2019 #12
especially folks in church essme Jul 2019 #15
I think that's just normal to that age group now. They put everything on social media. cwydro Jul 2019 #19
Yep! I loved the "church lady!" essme Jul 2019 #22
Who knows how much that girl has been bullied and/or abused! I think she showed restraint by not Floyd R. Turbo Jul 2019 #13
Really? Being told to wear a dress essme Jul 2019 #14
The woman is a bully! The best way to handle them is a kind word followed by a smack in the chops! Floyd R. Turbo Jul 2019 #16
Dude, whatever essme Jul 2019 #17
I am! Especially bean night! Floyd R. Turbo Jul 2019 #18
: onecaliberal Jul 2019 #23
It's a gas! 😏 Floyd R. Turbo Jul 2019 #24
! Kali Jul 2019 #31
Notice the fat shamer is not exactly slim herself. nt tblue37 Jul 2019 #21
Actually, I just saw the video and I was shocked! smirkymonkey Jul 2019 #30
Sanctimonious bitch! no_hypocrisy Jul 2019 #27
I had no problem with the way she looked. Maybe this is more about envy. jalan48 Jul 2019 #28
It says the woman was forbidden from taking on any leadership roles at the church ProudLib72 Jul 2019 #29
She should have never been fat-shamed, especially by a fellow church member Niagara Jul 2019 #32
follow-up Celerity Jul 2019 #33
Thanks for posting! Floyd R. Turbo Jul 2019 #35
How christian. spanone Jul 2019 #34

gopiscrap

(23,756 posts)
1. no excuse for that kinda shit
Fri Jul 12, 2019, 01:06 PM
Jul 2019

unless you're aiming them at some one who has made those remarks to another such as trump

trev

(1,480 posts)
2. Seems pretty typical to me.
Fri Jul 12, 2019, 01:07 PM
Jul 2019

Methodism is a rather conservative denomination, so it's bound to be authoritarian and brazen.

If I were her, I'd look for a better church to go to.

trev

(1,480 posts)
25. Well, that would be my choice, yes.
Fri Jul 12, 2019, 03:03 PM
Jul 2019

I think most Christians tend to stay with the church. I grew up Methodist myself, but left it when I was 18 to attend another church--much to the rage of my Republican parents. I left that one 8 years later and left my religion behind with it.

But I think I'm an exception.

 

smirkymonkey

(63,221 posts)
4. That's so cruel!
Fri Jul 12, 2019, 01:16 PM
Jul 2019

I make fun of how fat Trump is all the time, but that is because he is a mean bully who fat-shames and look-shames others when he is in no position to criticize anyone for what they look like. Also, I hate him and it gives me pleasure to tear him down. Not very mature, but there it is.

However, I would never do such a thing in real life to anybody, especially someone I didn't know. Besides, this is a church! Aren't they supposed to love and accept people for who they are and not what they look like? What makes people think that their unsolicited opinions are welcomed when they are only intended to hurt and shame?

MrsCoffee

(5,801 posts)
7. He has only his fake doctor to blame for that.
Fri Jul 12, 2019, 01:27 PM
Jul 2019

If you are gonna claim to be something you aren't, expect to get called on it. And since Trump is such a disgusting bully, people do not need to hold back.

6'3" 230lbs my ass, lol

LuckyCharms

(17,425 posts)
5. Ah, I know the type.
Fri Jul 12, 2019, 01:17 PM
Jul 2019

I've had plenty of people who have verbally abused me in my younger years, and then chastise me for "swearing" while giving their shit right back to them. I know the type well.

That young woman did very well for herself by standing up to that shitty older woman.

Bettie

(16,089 posts)
8. Unfortunately, that is the way this country is
Fri Jul 12, 2019, 01:28 PM
Jul 2019

people think that commenting on the size of bodies is OK, especially if they don't meet the arbitrary beauty standards set for women.

Men get fat shamed too, but women are also treated as though their only value is in their looks, with the assumption being that fat is equal to ugly.

It is, however, pervasive.

essme

(1,207 posts)
11. OK, It's me, right? Does anyone else
Fri Jul 12, 2019, 02:00 PM
Jul 2019

think this kid just needs to think, "geezz, shut up you old twit," or something similar, and laugh it off?

I think the over reaction on the girl's part is a bit odd.

55 year old Episcopalian woman here who dealt with plenty of mean old snot wits back in days of the dinosaurs with no phones-

 

cwydro

(51,308 posts)
12. If she was 16, I could see the drama a bit more, but hey, who knows what's going on in her life.
Fri Jul 12, 2019, 02:07 PM
Jul 2019

I know what you mean. I dealt with a lot of that from older women (and men) growing up.

I’ve never been fat, but I’ve always had short hair - you wouldn’t believe the comments I used to get as a young woman.

People are weird.

essme

(1,207 posts)
15. especially folks in church
Fri Jul 12, 2019, 02:17 PM
Jul 2019

I mean, Jesus Christ- the woman in the bathroom was CLEARLY to anyone breathing, a jerk-- but, to start screaming and crying over it? Recording it? Putting it on social media?

WTF?

 

cwydro

(51,308 posts)
19. I think that's just normal to that age group now. They put everything on social media.
Fri Jul 12, 2019, 02:24 PM
Jul 2019

I don’t get it, but I’m not in that age group.

That being said, kind of funny to see that hateful “church lady” get her comeuppance.

Remember Dana Carvey? He nailed that type!

essme

(1,207 posts)
22. Yep! I loved the "church lady!"
Fri Jul 12, 2019, 02:36 PM
Jul 2019

That said, I don't think screaming and crying like that is normal for a 19 year old.

Floyd R. Turbo

(26,546 posts)
13. Who knows how much that girl has been bullied and/or abused! I think she showed restraint by not
Fri Jul 12, 2019, 02:09 PM
Jul 2019

putting that women flat on her ass!

essme

(1,207 posts)
14. Really? Being told to wear a dress
Fri Jul 12, 2019, 02:15 PM
Jul 2019

results in getting beat up, or put on social media these days?

The old lady is an asshole. No doubt. Clearly, she's a jerk. You don't think screaming and crying, and "putting the woman flat on her ass" is a LITTLE FUCKING over reactive?

 

smirkymonkey

(63,221 posts)
30. Actually, I just saw the video and I was shocked!
Fri Jul 12, 2019, 03:42 PM
Jul 2019

I think the fat shamer was even heavier than Jenna! Jenna didn't look bad and the self-righteous church lady was quite hefty and unattractive. Typical Trumper.

ProudLib72

(17,984 posts)
29. It says the woman was forbidden from taking on any leadership roles at the church
Fri Jul 12, 2019, 03:25 PM
Jul 2019

Honestly, I think she should have been kicked out and told she was no where close to being a Christian. That would have, maybe, had some impact.

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