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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsTrump Orders Pence to Find Passage in Bible Where Jesus Tells People to Get the Hell Out
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)Hoping to bolster the core message of his 2020 campaign, Donald J. Trump ordered Mike Pence to locate a passage in the Bible where Jesus tells people to get the hell out of here, White House sources confirmed on Monday.
According to the sources, Trump summoned Pence to the Oval Office and commanded him to find somewhere in the Bible where Jesus tells people that they dont belong here and they should beat it.
Pence, who seemed startled by the request, asked Trump if he meant the time when Jesus expelled money changers from the Temple, but Trump shook his head angrily. No, not that. I dont want to piss off Deutsche Bank, he said. I want something where Jesus tells the poor and the meek or whatever to go back to the shithole places they came from.
After a shaken Pence said that he would see what I can find, Trump reportedly demanded that the Vice-President also locate a passage where Jesus calls journalists the lowest form of life.
https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-orders-pence-to-find-passage-in-bible-where-jesus-tells-people-to-get-the-hell-out
gordianot
(15,237 posts)comradebillyboy
(10,144 posts)DinahMoeHum
(21,784 posts)The Wielding Truth
(11,415 posts)Efilroft Sul
(3,579 posts)God judges those outside. Purge the evil person from among you.
English Standard Version
Guess who Pence, Trump, and Miller will deem evil?