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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region Forumssexual assault prevention tips for men--guaranteed to work
(idea came from a post in the lingerie football thread, but I couldn't get the graphic to copy, so found a slightly different version)
Sexual Assault Prevention Tips For Men - Guaranteed To Work!
1. Don’t put drugs in women’s drinks.
2. When you see a woman walking by herself, leave her alone.
3. If you pull over to help a woman whose car has broken down, remember not to rape her.
4. If you are in a lift and a woman gets in, don’t rape her.
5. When you encounter a woman who is asleep, the safest course of action is to not rape her.
6. Never creep into a woman’s home through an unlocked door or window, or spring out at her from between parked cars, or rape her.
7. When you lurk in bushes and doorways with criminal intentions, always wear bright clothing, wave a flashlight, or play “Boys Who Rape (Should All Be Destroyed)” by the Raveonettes on a boombox really loud, so women in the vicinity will know where to aim their flamethrowers.
8. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If it is inconvenient for you to stop yourself from raping women, ask a trusted friend to accompany you when lurking in shadows.
9. Carry a rape whistle. If you find that you are about to rape a woman, you can hand the whistle to your buddy, so s/he can blow it to call for help.
10. Give your buddy a revolver, so that when indifferent passers-by either ignore the rape whistle, or gather round to enjoy the spectacle, s/he can pistol-whip you.
11. Don’t forget: Honesty is the best policy. When asking a woman out on a date, don’t pretend that you are interested in her as a person; tell her straight up that you expect to be raping her later. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the woman may take it as a sign that you do not plan to rape her.
In other words, the best way to prevent rape is to not rape anybody.
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upaloopa
(11,417 posts)Very insulting to most men we aren't all rapists
DrDan
(20,411 posts)
REP
(21,691 posts)
niyad
(113,205 posts)
arely staircase
(12,482 posts)in case you forget.
niyad
(113,205 posts)
Major Nikon
(36,827 posts)Two wrongs don't make a right. Most people learned this by grammar school.
Just sayin'
niyad
(113,205 posts)we don't tend to hear a whole lot of rebuttal from the men (witness the fact that some of the men who are so upset about this OP didn't have a word to say about the "sexual assault tip--don't dress like a whore"
just sayin
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)Last edited Sat Sep 1, 2012, 11:11 PM - Edit history (1)
participate in it. so ya.... absolutely fascinating
ok for the goose but the gander needs to stfu
and i still hold this is not about "men" but about "tips"
niyad
(113,205 posts)Major Nikon
(36,827 posts)I'm sure one can find what they think is sexism under every rock. That doesn't mean it is.
And sure, you can claim it's about whatever you want. That doesn't mean it is.
If your idea of equality is putting one side down because the other is disadvantaged, then you have a pretty piss poor outlook on the concept.
Just sayin'
Major Nikon
(36,827 posts)I see men correcting others' sexism on DU all the time. Here's just one example where I did it a couple of weeks ago, and I'm certainly not the only one.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=1145866
I can't remember ever seeing a woman on DU calling out sexism when it's directed towards men although I'm sure it's happened a time or two.
niyad
(113,205 posts)even though you yourself cannot remember any such instance. but the men are correcting sexism all the time. wow---just. . . . wow.
this thread has been an amazing eye-opener.
Major Nikon
(36,827 posts)Then you really can't say you're against sexism, now can you?
The only thing eye opening about this thread is that some don't mind flaunting their own sexism to get attention they apparently crave. Since I really don't feel like feeding that monster anymore and you apparently lack the ability to engage in discussion like an adult, I'm out.
Have fun!
niyad
(113,205 posts)discussing things like an adult. the reality is that there is far less sexism directed against men, but, of course, you would not see that. however, as I said, this thread has been very instructive.
sad, but instructive.
Matariki
(18,775 posts)Insinuating that rape is somehow a woman's fault and her responsibility to prevent it. The point of this meme is to put the blame where it belongs.
Confusious
(8,317 posts)"if you have a penis, you're a rapist"
Thanks for the reminder, I had forgotten I was a rapist.
1StrongBlackMan
(31,849 posts)"If you have a penis, you CAN BE a rapist.
Seriously!!!
Confusious
(8,317 posts)It's more of what I said. "if you have a penis, you ARE a rapist."
This thing has been posted more then once, and I've said nothing, more then once.
It feels like someone telling me, over and over again "you're a man, you can't control yourself, you're a criminal, and your crime is rape."
You don't know me from jack, and automatically telling me that I'm guilty of a heinous crime like rape is a fucking insult.
And no, I don't know any fucking rapists, and if I did, no matter who they were, brother, father, best friend, I would turn them in and testify against them at trial.
1StrongBlackMan
(31,849 posts)Something that is not you?
It's like the "
some) liberals' objections to/criticisms of President Obama is racist" argument. If you have objections/criticisms and KNOW they are not an application of a race-based double-standard, why would you include yourself into that group ... only to argue that you are not in that group?
Confusious
(8,317 posts)the poster is saying "all men rape"
I am a man, all MEN rape
That's why I'm insulted.
Is it really that hard to see?
petronius
(26,602 posts)am by the "Do not ingest" warning on the bottle of Drano. I see it as a clever and humorous way to put the responsibility for rape where it belongs, on rapists, and not an indictment of all or even most men...
Confusious
(8,317 posts)I would consider men-hating or men-are-the-source-of-all-evil and it's starting to get on my nerves, as in, piss me off.
CTyankee
(63,899 posts)It really isn't.
Confusious
(8,317 posts)it was all about me.
Zoeisright
(8,339 posts)Think about someone other than yourself.
hughee99
(16,113 posts)Apparently, that's what men do.
Confusious
(8,317 posts)Confusious
(8,317 posts)it was all about me.
1StrongBlackMan
(31,849 posts)that's what you read into it ... possibly because it did not say "SOME men rape."
But for what it's worth, if ALL men (rapists and non-rapists) followed the "tips", NO man would rape.
Confusious
(8,317 posts)and posted on your wall. Seems you needed the reminder, from what you said in another post.
I don't. I understood them without anyone telling me before puberty. Practically all do.
Just the assholes who don't.
DirkGently
(12,151 posts)There's a rather large difference. It's sexist bullshit.
sabrina 1
(62,325 posts)Or do you think that criminals are likely to read this and say 'Oh, okay, thanks for the advice, I am now no longer a criminal'. If it was that easy, we could give the same advice to stop murder and theft and a whole host of other crimes.
This assumes that all men need this advice. When the truth is a vast majority of men do not go around raping women and this advice is aimed at those who do, the least likely to pay attention to it.
a geek named Bob
(2,715 posts)It may lead some too say
"You're implying i'm a rapist? Then don't expect any sort of help. Ever."
Some "making a point" use way too broad a brush...
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)not a single person i know would be so petty if someone was being hurt and needed help.
a geek named Bob
(2,715 posts)If they need help, I'll call a cop.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)then dont. that is your choice.
all yours to own.
again, i do not know one person that would make such a petty choice. but then, when i read this to my 14 yr old son the other day, he recognized these are the "tips" girls are taught, and he recognized the twist in giving it to the rapist. he did not think it was talking about him. it wasnt a tough one for him, at 14.
i will let 17 yr old read it and see the reaction on his part. there are enough men on this thread, that recognize it for what it is and sees no reason to take offense. that it is not talking to them. it is talking about tips given to women to avoid rape. and twisting it to put ownership of rape onto the rapist.
not a rapist, it has nothing to do with you.
and if you are opened minded enough, it might allow you to recognize how ownership of rape is given to the female. that both female and males have to disconnect from.
a geek named Bob
(2,715 posts)This list of the OP's likely won't affect the actual rapists.
And it likely WILL annoy/alienate guys who don't rape. You don't get to order people to help. It's called freedom of action.
As to your comments about petty...
If someone accused me of a serious crime, and then came to me for help...
part of my reaction would be an assumption that they were trying to set up a framing con.
Another part of my reaction would be that to accuse someone of something that far beyond the pale, breeches the social contract.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)issues here.
it is talking about tips women are given. and it flips it around toward a rapist. how in the world you can suggest it is talking to you is ridiculous. it is ridiculous to see it is even talking about rape. it is talking about a society that tells women what to do. a 14 yr old boy clearly understands. and you dont?
and again.... if you can walk away from someone who is being hurt, that is your choice. that says everything about you. i do not know one person that would or could walk away from someone being hurt. regardless of a slight they may fabricate.
but brag about your right to walk away from another being hurt in all your self righteousness.
it really amazes me some of the things i see people type out. i have to assume they do not know what it is really saying about them.
you see some girl being raped and can justify in your mind not helping her, i have to question the real reason this article pushes you in the direction it does.
a geek named Bob
(2,715 posts)pretty much what I thought...
1.) I said I'd call a cop.
2.) I believe I mentioned not being able to trust the (previous) accuser.
It really sounds like the OP, and perhaps you, are either:
1.) trying guilt games
2.) trying to score cheap political points
Seriously, what's next? Andrea Dworkin? Luce Iriagaray?
One of my rules is: never help those that try to hurt you. Accusing someone (even by implication) of that heinous a crime is a definite form of hurt. OP's phraseology paints men as needing this "advice." That's an accusation.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)help, dont help, that is yours.
feel persecuted not because it is what the article says, but what you create, go for it.
done.
a geek named Bob
(2,715 posts)This is sort of what I mean by social contract.
Like I said... Freedom of action.
4th law of robotics
(6,801 posts)at least for men being unwilling to help children who are in danger in public.
Because no matter what someone will ask "why did he *really* help that kid?"
Part of your female-privilege is knowing that no matter what your actions towards children or members of the opposite sex people will not automatically assume that "rape" is your main motivator.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)i do not know ONE man that would dismiss a child in need. private or public. what a disgusting attitude. but then like i say, if this is who you are, that is your choice. my choice is to be disgusted you would even think that let alone say it out loud.
as for the premise that public must assume a man around a child is a possible threat, i have always called bullshit to that, also. and have stated not only is it all of our responsibility to call that out, but, especially women. in the same manner that men need to speak out to men on certain issues.
4th law of robotics
(6,801 posts)every day that you are a vile sexual offender. That the only reason you'd want to be around kids is to hurt them. That you are incapable of being near children without assaulting them. And then this was coupled with numerous cases where people like you had their entire lives ruined by a mere accusation (sans evidence of course). How willing would you be to put yourself in a situation where you are alone with a child that is not yours?
Like I said; not thinking about these things is a privilege you enjoy because of your gender. You don't see it because of your privilege.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)if this is what you believe, there is no surprise you have the attitude you do.
know, all of us, even women, have men and boys in our lives and we know the reality they live. this is so far out of line, it sounds like it comes straight from PUI or MRA.
4th law of robotics
(6,801 posts)some women in their lives (wives, daughters, a mother at the very least).
Does that mean they are capable of lecturing women on issues that affect women?
You seem to believe that since you have sons/husband whatever that makes you perfectly qualified to lecture men on what it means to be a male in this society. I disagree.
I won't try to tell you what it is to be a woman. Perhaps you could do me the same courtesy in reverse?
/do you seriously not realize that societal assumptions for men in public near children are different from those for women in public near children? Really? When was the last time a woman was assumed to be a pedophile for looking a little "too long" at a kid in a park?
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)i didnt say that, did i. as a matter of fact, first post to you i stated that we all need to speak up to this, but especially women. kinda ignored that in my post, right? kinda dismiss the times we have had threads about men that are kicked out of bookstores because they "might" be a predator and i was the first to speak out against that, right?
you throw out such a bullshit comment that men will not help a child that needs it. yes, bullshit. throw an OP together and ask, kid hurt in park, do you help or cause you are a man you do not help cause you are worried about being called a sexual predator.
i KNOW that not a single of the men or boys in my life for a lifetime have ever NOT helped a child because they were afraid to be called a sexual predator.
is there an issue with this. FUCK ya. now, reality dude. the majority of the predators are MEN. is that suppose to be ignored? is that not allowed to be said cause then people like you accuse people like me that we said ALL MEN ARE SEXUAL PREDATORS. see, see. and start threads in your forums claiming women are saying this garbage to you?
am i allowed to call bullshit when you accuse women of saying this garbage that they have never said?
again.... live your reality. a pretty shitty reality, but wtf, you want to live that world, do.
4th law of robotics
(6,801 posts)i KNOW that not a single of the men or boys in my life for a lifetime have ever NOT helped a child because they were afraid to be called a sexual predator.
I know of not a single man or boy in my lifetime who raped a woman. What does this anecdote prove other than that anyone can make up anecdotes and post them in lieu of evidence?
is there an issue with this. FUCK ya. now, reality dude. the majority of the predators are MEN. is that suppose to be ignored? is that not allowed to be said cause then people like you accuse people like me that we said ALL MEN ARE SEXUAL PREDATORS. see, see. and start threads in your forums claiming women are saying this garbage to you?
Gee, why on a thread addressed towards all men on how they as a gender can stop rape would people assume the message is "all men are sexual predators"?
Baffling.
am i allowed to call bullshit when you accuse women of saying this garbage that they have never said?
You're going to have to be more specific. Even in context this statement doesn't make sense.
/are you capable of acknowledging that as a woman you don't have the same insight in to what it is to be a man as say a man would?
//yes even if you have a lot of male friends.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)waste of time.
4th law of robotics
(6,801 posts)seabeyond
(110,159 posts)4th law of robotics
(6,801 posts)You call it "games" when I ask you to clarify or respond clearly to questions I've asked about your stances.
Oh well. Some people are like that I guess.
alp227
(32,013 posts)Too many American men would never actually commit rape yet have the "sluts deserve it" mentality or the Daniel Tosh rape-is-funny worldview.
a geek named Bob
(2,715 posts)sabrina 1
(62,325 posts)violence is not viewed as wrong. It is the way to get what you want. We have a society that promotes this attitude, not just towards rape, but in general. We want another country's resources, invade them, kill them, torture them and wave the flag while doing so.
The changes that are needed are at the very heart of how this society sees itself. We view violence as strength eg, when nothing could be further from the truth. Violence is a sign of extreme weakness. But so long as society applauds violence the way we do, just asking 'men' not to rape is simply ignoring the root causes of the violence in this country.
Rape is a weapon of war, one of the oldest and most devastating to a society. And this country seems to be always at war, so why should we be surprised when war mongers see nothing wrong with using one of the oldest weapons of war against women?
When this administration chose to 'move forward' from the War Crimes of the Bush administration, they said to the women of Iraq and Afganistan who were brutally raped and tortured with the approval of the US Government under Bush, 'rape is okay by us, deal with it'.
We know our elected officials viewed the horrific video evidence of rape and torture and sodomy in US detention centers. There is no way to say we did not know about these crimes, because the awful proof was there. But not a thing, not even an apology to those victims has been forthcoming. And worse, when other countries decided to do the job our government failed to do, this administration intervened to protect the criminals.
So, until we the people are willing to stand up against the culture that is breeding these attitudes, there is no point in whining about it. If on the one hand we excuse our own party when they protect war criminals, but on the other rail against violence against women, we are not being consistent and won't be taken seriously, by anyone.
polly7
(20,582 posts)Add to that the Viagra given by the CIA to Afghan tribal lords, it's not like it was unknown that many of their wives are young girls forced into marriage. That one still makes me ill to think about. I get that the OP is a satirical slant on the blame women for their own rape theory espoused by the most ignorant who see rape as an extension of sex, but you've made the all-important point; that rape is a weapon, always has been and will continue to be unless we get rid of the notion completely that might makes right, and that violence against anyone can be excused as long as it benefits a certain people as a whole.
alp227
(32,013 posts)WHY does a simple anti rape poster trigger guilt in your mind, if you would never condone rape in the first place?
(RWTP= right wing talking points. Another example of a fallacious RWTP similar to your argument is "white guilt".)
Confusious
(8,317 posts)it's about a long list of posts around here.
A man commits child abuse
"oh, he's a monster, all men are like that"
A woman commits child abuse
"A man must have done something to her"
A man is physically violent
"oh, he's a monster, all men are like that"
A woman is physically violent
"doesn't happen"
A man commits spousal abuse
"oh, he's a monster, all men are like that"
A woman commits spousal abuse
"doesn't happen"
And my favorite, Qantas moves men away from unaccompanied children and will place a woman next to the child, in plain view of all the other passengers, because we all now, every man is a potential pedo.
women being pedos? doesn't happen.
ad nauseum.
There are more emotions then guilt, and not everyone is a robot that spouts talking points. Some of can think for ourselves. Try it sometime.
Your post says more about they way you think then it does me.
1monster
(11,012 posts)Sounds like an AWM screed.
Confusious
(8,317 posts)The only thing I'm tired of is "all men are (bad)(evil)(awful)" pick one
I had to look up AWM on Wikipedia to see what it was.
GObamaGO
(665 posts)In the same way telling a woman who as been raped that it must have been what she was wearing, or walking alone, in other words, placing the blame for the rape on the victim.
As far as your being offended by it, that is entirely in your power, and your choice to react that way.
Confusious
(8,317 posts)And then it turning on me. ( I.e. people making jokes about the job I do, which I take pride in, and pretty soon the jokes turn into fact.)
So I decided one day to not allow it to happen anymore.
I've ignored the posts "all men are (bad)(evil)(awful)" (pick one) since I joined. (which would be Thu Jul 14, 2005, 05:04 PM )
I've gotten tired of it.
You want to site the statistics, that fine, that's fact. Men do rape women. Men rape men. But not all of us rape and I take offense at being included in that group.
I also take offense at the number of "all men are (bad)(evil)(awful)" (pick one) posts.
REP
(21,691 posts)Confusious
(8,317 posts)They failed. Miserably.
The condescension outweighs any message they were trying to get across.
LanternWaste
(37,748 posts)"but that's not the feeling I get from the OP.."
I imagine we often see (or feel) only those things which better validate our own presumptions, and minimize, or even ignore those things which do not.
Much as you "felt" the OP was implying all men are rapists, I saw no evidence of that implication-- merely an inference on your part... 
Confusious
(8,317 posts)It's based on other threads:
A man commits child abuse
"oh, he's a monster, all men are like that"
A woman commits child abuse
"A man must have done something to her"
A man is physically violent
"oh, he's a monster, all men are like that"
A woman is physically violent
"doesn't happen"
A man commits spousal abuse
"oh, he's a monster, all men are like that"
A woman commits spousal abuse
"doesn't happen"
And my favorite, Qantas moves men away from unaccompanied children and will place a woman next to the child, in plain view of all the other passengers, because we all now, every man is a potential pedo.
women being pedos? doesn't happen.
ad nauseum.
OriginalGeek
(12,132 posts)I read OP and didn't feel like I was being called a rapist. It turns out I have been following all these prevention tips all my life.
If you have been as well, then these tips are not directed at you.
Confusious
(8,317 posts)It's based on other threads:
A man commits child abuse
"oh, he's a monster, all men are like that"
A woman commits child abuse
"A man must have done something to her"
A man is physically violent
"oh, he's a monster, all men are like that"
A woman is physically violent
"doesn't happen"
A man commits spousal abuse
"oh, he's a monster, all men are like that"
A woman commits spousal abuse
"doesn't happen"
And my favorite, Qantas moves men away from unaccompanied children and will place a woman next to the child, in plain view of all the other passengers, because we all now, every man is a potential pedo.
women being pedos? doesn't happen.
ad nauseum.
How would you feel if someone kept telling you that a particular feature you have was a sign of being a piece of shit? Would you you say that it wasn't ment for you?
OriginalGeek
(12,132 posts)Nobody I know from the internet has ever told me that.
Nobody that knows me has ever told me that.
I honestly doubt anyone that knows you has ever told you that.
You are trying wayyyy too hard to find offense in an ad campaign that was meant to illustrate that it's ridiculous to tell women they are at fault for being raped. There is no offense here that is meant for you. You have the right to take it any way you feel but that doesn't mean you take it correctly.
Please be careful if you smoke around your post - there's enough straw in there to burn down Chicago twice again.
Confusious
(8,317 posts)Is something that does not exist, and then you attack it.
If you don't think those posts exist, then you haven't been paying attention.
Here's the quntas post
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10021127773
OriginalGeek
(12,132 posts)but it didn't happen to you.
Nobody here, where you are complaining that people are accusing you of being a man and therefor guilty of these crimes, accused you of any of these crimes.
4th law of robotics
(6,801 posts)I've never been discriminated against for being black (probably because I am not). Does that mean such discrimination A) doesn't exist or B) if it does warrants no attention?
OriginalGeek
(12,132 posts)from discrimination.
Confusios posted that he felt attacked because someone else posted something that had nothing to do with him. He was not attacked.
Of course racial discrimination exists and of course it is awful and should be eliminated. Of course man bashing exits and it should be eliminated too. But it didn't happen here where Confusious thought it did.
4th law of robotics
(6,801 posts)is it not aimed at all men? I don't see any other qualifiers present.
And the airline policy likewise targeted all men (unless they were traveling with a female guardian).
OriginalGeek
(12,132 posts)Like I said, I have a penis and didn't feel like the OP was directed at me.
Confusiouses first post in the thread was "
Thanks for the reminder, I had forgotten I was a rapist."
I don't think that's what the OP said at all.
As for Qantas, it's a deplorable policy and should be changed. But Conf. bringing up the Qantas thing here and then taking offense at it as if DU feminists support it and accused Conf of it is ridiculous on his part. I whole-heartedly agree that ire should be directed at Qantas but nobody here that I saw supported that policy and it's not fair to be mad at DU for it. DU feminists are not Qantas.
If you find some DU feminists who think that policy is swell, feel free to argue with them about it. I think you'd have a fair point.
4th law of robotics
(6,801 posts)I wasn't intending to argue, just trying to see what you were getting at.
We can just agree to disagree on this.
/for what it's worth there were a few feminists on here who vigorously argued in favor of that policy. If it saves only one child . . .
OriginalGeek
(12,132 posts)I would have argued against that. We could just save all the children by never letting them out anywhere at any time and never letting any other people ever come into contact with them ever...
mythology
(9,527 posts)Personally I find the suggestions in the original post to be rather useless. It's an attempt to bring some humor to the idea, but it's just not very funny, nor does it seem to recognize that most rape (like most crime) is committed by somebody who knows the victim. To me it also fails in that it isn't likely to reach the people who might actually need such a suggestion.
lapislzi
(5,762 posts)Any person CAN be a rapist. Any person CAN be raped. I'm a woman, and I could rape somebody if I really wanted to or tried hard enough. Rape is generally not a difficult act to accomplish.
People, don't rape people. How is this hard to understand?
Matariki
(18,775 posts)you baby.
Confusious
(8,317 posts)That's the feeling I got.
alp227
(32,013 posts)Probably why you are offended by this simple advice that normal healthy human beings follow.
a geek named Bob
(2,715 posts)if the topic at hand accused a whole gender (via implication) of murder?
You're offended? Maybe you're repressing a killing you did...
Not a good argument
Confusious
(8,317 posts)Were you expressed frustration at republicans, and say the same thing about you?
Trying to repress something you did?
Maybe a story about kids kicking a bum?
Trying to repress something you did?
Your pop psychology has the same validity as astrology or homeopathy. none.
Romulox
(25,960 posts)Is it productive?
arely staircase
(12,482 posts)
caseymoz
(5,763 posts). . . would be an innuendo that I'm responsible for what a burglar does?
And if me and a female friend get out of my car (which doesn't have automatic locks) to lock the the door, I'm saying she's responsible for cars being broken into?
I hate to think what touchiness like this would do to the success of a defensive driving program. You get three compound fractures and cracked skull, but it wasn't your fault.
While I'm at it, I might as well point out what applying this attitude to advice in a sex-ed program might do to teen pregnancy.
Rejecting commonsense due to suspicions that there's putdown hidden it somewhere is crossing over into paranoia. Then to come back with this OP is responding hatefully to an imaginary insult.
That's two steps into crazy-town. The third one is if you think this witty comeback is somehow empowering.
polly7
(20,582 posts)Brickbat
(19,339 posts)You might not know he's a rapist. But it's good to watch out for them. Or so they tell women all the time.
upaloopa
(11,417 posts)As if we all are animals that haven't had the self knowledge to not rape people. I am as concerned about rape as you are. No one I know is a rapist or a potential rapist. You think I want my wife raped? I don't need to tell my wife's male co-workers not to rape her.
niyad
(113,205 posts)THEIR responsibility, offensive, yes? (and, if that is the case, surely you will be adding your outraged comment to the thread about women preventing rape by not dressing like whores? will be looking forward to seeing it there)
you know, I had it pegged almost to the second the reaction this OP would get.
upaloopa
(11,417 posts)of the world.
You don't know me or what I think so stop the insults!
niyad
(113,205 posts)1StrongBlackMan
(31,849 posts)he doth protest too much.
Confusious
(8,317 posts)he shouldn't mind the government watching him, right?
Sometimes an insult is just an insult.
1StrongBlackMan
(31,849 posts)A hyperbolic reaction to a statement is a window into one's denial.
Confusious
(8,317 posts)If someone accused you of being dishonest, you'd just let it slide?
arely staircase
(12,482 posts)eom
1StrongBlackMan
(31,849 posts)coming from?
upaloopa
(11,417 posts)niyad
(113,205 posts)to avoid sexual assault: "don't dress like a whore"
http://www.democraticunderground.com/10021234163
Confusious
(8,317 posts)on every outrage thread to be proper DUers?
I guess I'm in trouble then, I haven't been doing my 15 minutes of hate properly.
upaloopa
(11,417 posts)You don't get to define people and you are not the judge of what people think or feel.
sabrina 1
(62,325 posts)about any crime. You cannot reason with criminals, it's ridiculous to assume a criminal is going to listen to a plea to be nice. Iow, if this is aimed at rapists, it is a waste of time. Men who are not rapists which is the vast majority of men, do not need this, unless it actually is meant to imply that all men are potential rapists, which would be disgusting.
Otoh, the rest of society who are not criminals, CAN take steps not to become victims of those who prey on others.
Foiling would-be rapists is what the advice given to women is intended to do. It is NOT to say that women are responsible for their crimes. That is just silly.
Eg, we are told not to walk up to a Grizzly Bear and try to pet it. We accept the fact that we cannot change the nature of the bear, but we CAN avoid being eaten by one.
I find this OP to be insulting to all the men who would probably give their lives to protect the women they love from a rapist.
Odin2005
(53,521 posts)A lot of guys have an attitude of "maybe = yes, no = maybe".
Zalatix
(8,994 posts)The OP was preaching to the choir. Totally unnecessary. And rapists aren't going to care to read it.
Odin2005
(53,521 posts)There was a massive flame war 3 years ago about a scene from the movie Observe and Report in which the protagonist did just that, and several DUers thought it wasn't rape.
Zalatix
(8,994 posts)Same applies for now. "Fucking passed out drunk woman != rape" = PPR. Or at least it SHOULD be a PPR level offense.
I know, that's fascist of me. It's high time for another alert on me, I suppose. Oh well. I'll repeat... "Fucking passed out drunk woman != rape" = PPR bait.
ProudToBeBlueInRhody
(16,399 posts)...some people thought...no wait, knew...it was a movie and the main character was a disturbed, mentally challenged idiot.
lapislzi
(5,762 posts)The OP is raising awareness of behaviors that in the not-too-distant past would not have been considered criminal at all.
The masked man jumping out of the bushes or lurking in the back seat of your car is mostly myth. That's an easy crime to spot, to prevent, to avoid. And yes, people should behave cautiously and prudently at all times.
Trouble is, they often don't. It's a cultural trope (watch any romantic comedy) that when a woman says "no," she really means "try harder." That's a shibboleth that needs to be shattered.
If alcohol or drugs are involved, it makes it even worse. Most rapists ARE KNOWN to their victims. A rapist will use the excuse of the victim's impaired state to take sex that is not necessarily consensual, or would not be were the victim in an unimpaired condition.
Both my rapists were known to me. I am sure neither one believes he committed any kind of crime.
1StrongBlackMan
(31,849 posts){snip}
Trouble is, they often don't. It's a cultural trope (watch any romantic comedy) that when a woman says "no," she really means "try harder." That's a shibboleth that needs to be shattered.
{snip}
Both my rapists were known to me. I am sure neither one believes he committed any kind of crime.
That is the point that needs to be raised, over and over again.
DirkGently
(12,151 posts)I've seen this nasty little piece of rhetorical bullshit several times here now. "Men" don't need to be reminded that attacking women in elevators is rape. Rapists need to stop raping people. "Men" don't "a need a buddy" to help them control the urge attack any woman they happen across. Rapists do.
This absurd little piece of trash is not a response to women being accused of bringing rape on themselves -- it's simply the same kind of utterly clueless, demeaning sexist lie aimed at men.
DirkGently
(12,151 posts)DirkGently
(12,151 posts)All crime prevention "tips" are aimed at the targets of crime, because ... duh? Do you find the suggestion that people lock their cars likewise an unfair misplacing of responsibility?
A set of sarcastic reminders to men in general not to become rapists in no way responds to the issue of women being blamed for rape.
This "meme" is needlessly nasty, rhetorically nonsensical, vicious, ugly and dishonest.
Brickbat
(19,339 posts)How do you know they're not rapists?
DirkGently
(12,151 posts)Rapists aren't confused about what they're doing. They're not otherwise decent men who get confused about whether it's okay to savage people. They're rapists, and the only tips anyone needs is how to avoid or stop them. The entire premise that this piece is a response to blaming women for rape is dishonest to the core.
REP
(21,691 posts)Take it up with them.
Odin2005
(53,521 posts)... a couple years ago and now he's serving hard time in the clink. Most rapists don't look any different then any other guy out there. The guy who raped my friend was a close friend of her BF.
1StrongBlackMan
(31,849 posts)the guy that:
1) "Talked his way in" over her objections, e.g., "Come on baby. If you love me you'll let me."
2) Simply continued after she said no (for the 1-1,500th time) and stopped moving your hand out of her pants.
3) Took liberties with some female that they knew was just on this side of unconscious.
4) Joined in at that party where there was that one girl in the backroom and 15 guys. And strangely, she's not saying a word.
These are all examples of the rape that are most common; but not understood (by men) to be rape.
Webster Green
(13,905 posts)Amazing.
upaloopa
(11,417 posts)What is it with some people who feel insulting people is the way to discuss an issue?
lumberjack_jeff
(33,224 posts)unreadierLizard
(475 posts)a small part of this forum thinks it's okay to judge and lump all men together in one basket; since men rape, we must all feel guilty, even though most people who arrest and bring to justice rapists are also men.
/shrug
Matariki
(18,775 posts)but clearly *some* men need to be told these things or no woman would ever experience any of the things referred to.
Anyway, that list is about putting the responsibility for sexual assault where it belongs and satirically addressing all those supposedly helpful tips for women that are in actuality putting the blame and responsibility on women.
This faux indignation from a few people is rather disingenuous.
Confusious
(8,317 posts)"you have a penis, so you're a rapist, so here's some reminders on how to control your rapist tendencies, since you are a man, and therefore a rapist"
LanternWaste
(37,748 posts)"that's the feeling I got..."
I suppose basing one's entire premise on simply a "feeling" is rather convenient when we have little else...
Confusious
(8,317 posts)It's based on other threads:
A man commits child abuse
"oh, he's a monster, all men are like that"
A woman commits child abuse
"A man must have done something to her"
A man is physically violent
"oh, he's a monster, all men are like that"
A woman is physically violent
"doesn't happen"
A man commits spousal abuse
"oh, he's a monster, all men are like that"
A woman commits spousal abuse
"doesn't happen"
And my favorite, Qantas moves men away from unaccompanied children and will place a woman next to the child, in plain view of all the other passengers, because we all now, every man is a potential pedo.
women being pedos? doesn't happen.
ad nauseum.
DirkGently
(12,151 posts)"Men" don't need a reminder or a "buddy" to know not rape people. And the "faux indignation" is the utterly bad faith premise that rape prevention tips unfairly put responsibility on women. "Lock your door" doesn't unfairly put the responsibility on car owners. It simply recognizes that criminals aren't the ones interested in stopping crime.
This little piece of hate snark is a rhetorical backstab of the first degree. It doesn't address victim blaming at all, but instead proceeds from the false premise that rape is committed by men who don't know right from wrong. "Men" don't need a reminder not to to savage women. Rapists do.
alp227
(32,013 posts)I am astonished to hear so many on a left wing board and so many in my generation in general react in such a cavalier, trivial way with such a simple moral issue. Do you watch "The Young Turks" on youtube? People on the comments wee defending or rationalizing Tosh joking about an audience member being raped, in this video:
"All men are rapists" is a fallacious way to frame anti rape awareness campaigns. It's just as bad as right wingers wanting to ban gay parents based on the gay=pedophile fallacy.
gollygee
(22,336 posts)It's to contrast against how people aren't offended when women are given tips to keep themselves from being sexually assaulted. It feels totally normal and not offensive to a great number of people to tell women to "not dress like a whore" so they don't get raped, or this kind of thing wouldn't happen so often - and it does happen often. But we see it for what it is when we do the same to men but in reverse.
arely staircase
(12,482 posts)they do not advise anyone not to "dress like a whore." Do you really think that rape prevention advice usually includes such nonense? well it doesn't. here is a sample of a common collection rape prevention advice.
Sexual assault and rape can happen at college. You may have heard about date-rape drugs being used on college campuses. These are drugs that are dropped into your drink at a bar or at a party when you leave your drink unattended, or when you are distracted. Believe it or not, more than half of all rapes are committed by someone that the victim knows or goes on a date with. So when you are getting to know a person, be careful where you go and what situations you put yourself in.
To protect yourself against date-rape drugs:
Don’t drink something that you didn't open yourself
Don’t share drinks with anyone
Don’t drink from a punch bowl
Don’t leave your drink some place and come back and drink from it later
To protect yourself from being sexually assaulted:
Walk in well-lit areas with a friend if you are out at night
Use the campus security escorts available at your college. Most colleges will provide an escort if you have to walk back to your dorm late at night.
Make sure that someone such as a friend or roommate knows where you are when you go out.
How do I know if I was raped or sexually assaulted?
The definition of rape is any penetration into your vagina by a finger, a penis, or other object that happens without your consent. It is also illegal if someone touches your vagina with his or her mouth or penetrates you anally without your consent. Keeping silent does not equal consent. Any of these things which are done without your consent are wrong and illegal!
What should I do if I am sexually assaulted or raped?
It's important to get medical help right away. If you are sexually assaulted or raped, you should go right to the student health center or nearest hospital emergency or urgent care unit to get checked out. Someone there will help you contact your campus or town police if you haven't already called them. Reporting a sexual assault or rape is important so that the person that did this to you will be caught and won't be able to do it to someone else. You shouldn't shower or change your clothes before you are examined, so that no evidence is destroyed.
Reporting a Rape or Assault
Many women have a hard time reporting rape or sexual assault because they are embarrasse, in denial of what happened, just want to forget what happened, or think they caused it. It's very important to talk about all these feelings and everything that you went through with an experienced counselor. Ask who you can talk to at your college counseling center or student health center. If you need something that your college doesn't offer, ask for some names and contact information for counselors or groups in the community. Some colleges also offer group sessions for victims of rape and sexual assault. Also, decide who in your family or among your friends can be supportive, and talk with them as well.
If you want to speak with someone confidentially, over the phone, there are hotlines listed in the resource section. There are resources are available and people who can help you get through this traumatic experience. Always remember that the rape or assault was NOT your fault.
Read more: http://www.youngwomenshealth.org/collegehealth11.html#ixzz25XtIt4aN
http://www.youngwomenshealth.org/collegehealth11.html
gollygee
(22,336 posts)since it's like a week old.
1StrongBlackMan
(31,849 posts)that most men, the vast majority of whom are not rapists, don't find this insulting, as they see the "don't rape them" line and realize the post is not directed to or at them.
But that's just my take on it ... You know ... from the view of someone that is unwilling to ascribe to myself what I know I am not.
Iggo
(47,545 posts)I'm not insulted in the least.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)switching ownership to the rapist.
wasnt the end of the world. and made him reflect for a moment. and gave him a laugh.
Odin2005
(53,521 posts)...that puts the onus on women to protect themselves from rapists.
hifiguy
(33,688 posts)and the other one. I don't see anything to get bent out of shape about.
Odin2005
(53,521 posts)Sometimes over-reaction is a sign of psychological projection.
hifiguy
(33,688 posts)and intemperate statement. As a rule, liberal men do not go around slipping mickeys into drinks or assaulting women.
unreadierLizard
(475 posts)most conservative men don't, either.
this whole "you are man thus you are guilty of all crimes committed by men and thus you should feel ashamed" meme that some are pushing is kind of out of hand.
rape is rape, no matter who's doing it - and it's wrong. most men and women believe that
DirkGently
(12,151 posts)All crime prevention tips are aimed at the targets, not the perpetrators, for reasons too obvious to say. Proceeding from the premise that "men" in general need reminders not to brutalize people is intellectually dishonest and doesn't get anywhere near satirizing "Don't dress provocatively" or other sexist attitudes blaming women for rape. Rapists don't take advice, and non-rapists don't need it.
deutsey
(20,166 posts)After reading some of the comments criticizing the list, I can see what they're saying, but I still take it more as an example of satirical jiujitsu than anything else.
aaaaaa5a
(4,667 posts)Thank goodness men don't count in that equation.
kelly1mm
(4,732 posts)Romulox
(25,960 posts)kelly1mm
(4,732 posts)here is a link:
http://bjs.ojp.usdoj.gov/content/pub/pdf/cv09.pdf
Romulox
(25,960 posts)making it the most prevalent form of rape in America.
http://nplusonemag.com/raise-the-crime-rate
kelly1mm
(4,732 posts)If you add in prison rape, and I see no reason not to, males seem to be well over 50% of the victims.
HopeHoops
(47,675 posts)I can say that from experience - with long-term girlfriends and my wife. There's a point where even Viagra wouldn't help.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)HopeHoops
(47,675 posts)Someone must have put it in her beer while we were dancing because she went from mildly lubricated to completely gone within a minute of returning to the table. I have no idea what it was, but knew well enough that it wasn't just beer. It was quite a challenge to get her to the van and home and she had a miserable next day. That's some frightening shit. But I do remember thinking, why the fuck would someone do that even with a SINGLE woman? It rendered her useless for anything, including stumbling. You have to be really desperate to do something that risky in the first place, but it was OBVIOUS that she was already spoken for!!! Some people are just fucked up in the head.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)if a person is willing to fuck a dead person??
it was fortunate she had you.
kinda, sorta, maybe a little sorry for the post on your lounge post, but you piss me off sometimes, though i think you are the .... cats meow, sometimes, too.
HopeHoops
(47,675 posts)As I think I mentioned to you before, I've got a bumper sticker that says, "A man of quality is not threatened by a woman seeking equality". Still, sex jokes are funny, targeting both genders. One of my favorites is in "Tank Girl" when a soldier tries to get her to give him a BJ and she responds, "Oh, we're going to need a pair of tweezers and a magnifying glass for this." The rape scene in "Girl With the Dragon Tattoo" was horrific, but I loved how she got revenge - (if you haven't seen it, she tazes him, ties him up, crams a dildo up his ass with her boot and tattoos "I Am A Rapist PIG" on his chest and belly - in large letters).
As for my wife, I'm the fortunate one. That was just a situation where she needed some assistance. We've both been there for a variety of reasons. We rarely go out alone, or even with other people for that matter, but recently my service dog (her dog, really) has been joining us on excursions. A lot of bartenders just automatically bring her a bowl of water now. I tip extra for the thought (and I tip well to begin with - always have).
hence, just a snarky comment to you and then i am done. i always see this you.
thanks. so you know, just a TIT for tat kinda thing. nothing more.
HopeHoops
(47,675 posts)As for "this me", I can't be otherwise.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)meh. me either.
HopeHoops
(47,675 posts)
RadiationTherapy
(5,818 posts)Liberal_in_LA
(44,397 posts)
Matariki
(18,775 posts)and the point is well made.
niyad
(113,205 posts)to post an image.. you can right click and select "save image url". then just past the url into your post.
Occulus
(20,599 posts)arely staircase
(12,482 posts)by not aiming it at one gender it actually seems quite clever. the problem i had with the op is that it seemed to broad brush men as the rapists (and most are) but worse was that it assumed only women were the victims.
bluesbassman
(19,366 posts)You're preaching to the choir. If you really believe that even a small segment of DU males are active or potential rapists, why on earth would you continue to associate yourself with such a group?
Again, I'm going to assume that you meant this as some sort of public service, but I have to say that it comes off as insulting, condescending, and inflammatory. These kind of posts do nothing but cause division and animosity between the female and male members of this community.
MicaelS
(8,747 posts)Were just bullshit smoke and mirrors by "experts and authorities" too damned cowardly to state the best rape prevention tip of all.
Which is to buy a gun, learn how to, and be willing to use it. And that, IMO, is why 49 out of 50 states today have concealed carry laws. Because a lot of women have made the decision to buy a gun and to hell with the "experts and authorities".
orpupilofnature57
(15,472 posts)on the sexual assault of women. If the same peer pressure was exerted on our sex by members of the same sex as an act of utter misanthropy it would have joined the taboos such as murder, incest, and failure in life, things that bring suicidal shame to those exposed.
panader0
(25,816 posts)1StrongBlackMan
(31,849 posts)"If you have a penis; you must be a rapist"/"most men aren't rapist" memes.
Can anyone trotting out that/those lines, honestly, say that they do not know someone (male) who has:
1) "Talked his way in" over her objections? e.g., "Come on baby. If you love me you'll let me." (RAPIST)
2) Simply continued after she said no (for the 1-1,500th time) and stopped moving your hand out of her pants. (RAPIST)
3) Took liberties with some female that they knew was just on this side of unconscious? (RAPIST)
4) Joined in at that party where there was that one girl in the backroom and 15 guys? And strangely, she's not saying a word. (RAPIST)
The message of this OP is NOT directed to or at the vast majority of men. Get over it and Get over yourself.
Confusious
(8,317 posts)2. No, I don't know anyone
3. No, I don't know anyone
4. No, I don't know anyone
1) "Talked his way in" over her objections? e.g., "Come on baby. If you love me you'll let me." (RAPIST)
Depends on what you mean.
Was I dating a girl, and she said I don't want to and then tried to convince her? Not anything but a little snuggling and kissing, and if she said yes, great, if still no, then that's the way it was. There have been times that I wasn't in the mood and she convinced me with the same? yes, that has happened.
Is that what you're referring to as rape?
Or just badgering someone until they gave in? No, I don't know anyone.
If you know people like this, then you need a better class of friends.
1StrongBlackMan
(31,849 posts)I trust that you are responding honestly. I, on the other hand, know someone in each catergory and, honestly, that someone in each category was me! That was before I learned what rape was really all about.
But with all due respect:
I call Bullshit. But maybe the honesty part alludes you.
Confusious
(8,317 posts)I've never done it.
I want people to respect my boundaries, I respect theirs.
PS. And, I can say with pretty much granite certainty that none of the people I would call a "friend" have done it either, because that would involve being an "asshole," and I don't hang out with assholes.
Now if you want to say "Has someone you met done that?" I could pick out a few people I could think might have done something like that, because of the basic reason I got the feeling they were "assholes" and I wanted nothing to do with them. They're usually loudmouth arrogant jerks, who don't treat their friends much better then the women they date.
PPS. A first and only meeting isn't a good place to accuse someone of being a rapist.
1StrongBlackMan
(31,849 posts)I've never done it.
You're getting all twisted.
First, go back to what I said ...
So ask yourself (though I doubt that you will) why you are personalizing this? I never accused you of doing anything.
Secondly, I never limited my question to "friends" ... I'm pretty certain that most of the people that post to this site would find involvement in any of the scenarios I mentioned objectionable ... and therefore, would be reticent to call anyone involvement in them a "friend." But I see it as my job as a man to let those males that are (or aren't) my "friends", as I have with you, that the above scenarios constitute rape. Period.
Lastly,
If you are referring to this discussion ... I suggest, again, that you examine why you insist on personalizing the rapist thing? I have not called you a rapist. I have, however, indicated that we all know guys that have engaged in the above mentioned conduct. I go further to indicate that those involved in such conduct are rapists. And, finally, I, further, indicated that if and when we encounter such males ... us men should call them on it. Period.
Confusious
(8,317 posts)I call Bullshit. But maybe the honesty part alludes you.
You called me a liar.
No offense, but some of us, probably most, aren't as dense, and knew that as soon as we hit puberty.
Might have something to do with a certain quantas thread a while back. The Quantas' policy is to move men from sitting next to unaccompanied minors. Some people had problems with that, some didn't.
Some thought it was AOK, and that it seemed to them that all men should be considered pedos.
So now we have the thread where all men should be considered rapist.
This is just another in a long history of threads, and it's starting to get on my nerves.
It's not just this thread, it's the accumulation of threads.
1StrongBlackMan
(31,849 posts)to examine why you feel the need to personalize something that you believe has nothing to do with you.
Confusious
(8,317 posts)You just ignored it.
Either that, or you didn't understand my point.
1StrongBlackMan
(31,849 posts)I just have noted that you are trying to include yourself in a cohort that you do not want to be included, so that you can be insulted. I just wonder why? And suggest that you ask yourself that, as well.
Confusious
(8,317 posts)because of a particular feature I have, that I am a piece of shit.
It's based on other threads:
A man commits child abuse
"oh, he's a monster, all men are like that"
A woman commits child abuse
"A man must have done something to her"
A man is physically violent
"oh, he's a monster, all men are like that"
A woman is physically violent
"doesn't happen"
A man commits spousal abuse
"oh, he's a monster, all men are like that"
A woman commits spousal abuse
"doesn't happen"
And my favorite, Qantas moves men away from unaccompanied children and will place a woman next to the child, in plain view of all the other passengers, because we all now, every man is a potential pedo.
women being pedos? doesn't happen.
ad nauseum.
Any more clear now?
1StrongBlackMan
(31,849 posts)But, then, that is clearly your issue that you will have to work through ... Good Luck!
Romulox
(25,960 posts)Um, what? How would I "know" about this, unless one or the other party told me? It's an odd phrasing.
Confusious
(8,317 posts) Alduin
(501 posts)Most men aren't rapists.
orpupilofnature57
(15,472 posts)
Texasgal
(17,042 posts)Women get that shit all of the time " she shouldn't have worn that skirt" "she should't have been drunk" etc..etc.
I hear you. It is all so very insulting to good human beings.
Cleita
(75,480 posts) Confusious
(8,317 posts)that rapist like to hang out on DU.
Alduin
(501 posts) gollygee
(22,336 posts)And how many people lurk here? Do you think it's an impossibility?
Confusious
(8,317 posts)But it's 99.99% giving a lecture to the choir.
I really hate it when people do that. Might as well call me an idiot or moron.
And really, I doubt they're hanging out here. They probably hate this place.
Alduin
(501 posts) LanternWaste
(37,748 posts)Much like, "if you're a gun owner, you can potentially murder someone..." And we all know that's not true, yes?
hifiguy
(33,688 posts)People get killed accidentally by guns all the time. No rapist ever commits a crime accidentally.
liberal_at_heart
(12,081 posts)about calling out rapists. I've noticed this about the men in my family. It's like they're afraid if they flirt with a girl they will be accused of rape. There is a fear and mistrust of women that if men misbehave in the slightest they will be accused of rape. I don't really understand it myself. The statistics of women falsely claiming rape are nothing compared to the actual statistics of rape.
Romulox
(25,960 posts)seabeyond
(110,159 posts)think twice about shifting responsibility to victim instead of ownership on rapist.
that is the point of the piece.
which has been repeatedly said on this thread, and everyone pretending it is about saying all men are rapists.
Romulox
(25,960 posts)others because YOU feel pain. It's not right.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)anymore than any of the other issues that are in GD. it is a consideration. insight. something to think about.
YOU choose to take it personally. and it has nothing to do with you specifically or anyone else.
it is an illustration to look at a subject from a different perspective.
that simple.
Romulox
(25,960 posts)"I meant *some* women...why so sensitive?".
You don't get to tell me how to feel.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)goes to women LIE, i see no connection or reason.
doesnt make sense.
where are men victims that women do that we tell men how to avoid it.
that is what you would use as a comparable argument.
i am not telling you how to feel. i am telling you, that you take it personally, and reading the piece, that is not what they are saying. you can feel lousy. but you are making up a reason to feel lousy. though it is your right to feel lousy. that is not what the piece is saying.
Romulox
(25,960 posts)accept that "some" is implied if made a broad-brush statement like that.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)how to prevent their rape.
it is address the issue of people TELLING WOMEN, that they are responsible in some way for their rape.
it is not about men necessarily, any more than it is about women. iti s about both men and women that tell women tips to not be raped. that is what the piece is about.
Romulox
(25,960 posts) seabeyond
(110,159 posts)women, carry a whistle to prevent your rape.
this is saying
MEN carry a whistle so when you are going to rape you give a heads up.
it is a play on each "tip" a woman is given to prevent HER rape. things she is suppose to do to not be raped.
they twist it to the rapist. saying instead of the woman doing all these things, rapist, dont rape.
instead of victim being responsible for keeping self from not being raped, rapist, dont rape.
it is always about what the woman is suppose to do to avoid rape.
that is what is being challenged.
us women easily recognize the twist, cause we have been being told to do these things. you may not recognize the twist cause you have not heard these "tips" for a lifetime.
Romulox
(25,960 posts)you some advice you resent. That's what YOU don't seem to get.
niyad
(113,205 posts)or not, discussion will be had. the fact that this particular list does not please you, because somehow you are taking it personally, is beside the point (and I will remember that the next time I see a post about how women shouldn't be so sensitive to something that is being said here).
actually, I resent the "somebody told you some advice that you resent" as though advice that makes women responsible for rape prevention isn't absurd, insulting, and completely beside the point.
I find it fascinating that you keep drawing out the discussion, since it is one that clearly makes you uncomfortable.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)agree with everything she says
give her everything she wants
walk away when she hits you
the opposite, what this article is doing would say. women, to stop abusing your hubby
when your husband does not agree, do not physically assault.
when you do not get what you want, do not physically assault.
to not physically abuse husband, do not hit.
that would be comparable.
Romulox
(25,960 posts)liberal_at_heart
(12,081 posts)I have a wonderful husband, a son, two brothers, a father who I care about deeply. When I saw the original post none of the wonderful men in my life came to mind. Some of the responses by the men on this thread did remind me of my father and my brothers. They have been hurt by women in their life and have a profound distrust of them. They are afraid if they even flirt they will be called rapists or sexual harassers. Therefore anytime they see a case of rape their first response is, is she lying? is she in it for the money? What was she wearing? There is a deep undercurrent of disrespect for women in this country and see nothing wrong with pointing it out. In fact, as a woman I believe it is my duty.
Rape is too important an issue to worry about anyone's tender little feelings. Women get insulted with "rape prevention tips" all the time. The onus should be on men to deal with the fact that some among you are rapists.
Alduin
(501 posts)Why isn't that reported or talked about?
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)actually in the fbi report it is 98.something% but i dont have time to dig it up.
you really want to argue the 1%
Alduin
(501 posts)Rape is still rape.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)Romulox
(25,960 posts)I'm not your defender. I'm not your chaperon.
If there are rapists in the community, I am not going out to round them up. That's the job of the police, not "men" as a whole. That's the job of society, of which women are full members. I have no special duty to solve crimes in my spare time, simply because of my gender.
Iggo
(47,545 posts)
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)
XemaSab
(60,212 posts)If your wife says she doesn't want to have sex right then, don't rape her. 
99Forever
(14,524 posts)Broadbrush over-generalizations give me gas.
liberal_at_heart
(12,081 posts)
slutticus
(3,428 posts)Links????????????
niyad
(113,205 posts)the woman who posted that lovely remark is, apparently, in the lingerie football league (I did not ask, I do not want to know) but the pics were. . .
slutticus
(3,428 posts)
Union Scribe
(7,099 posts)But it'll be hard, since I'm a man, to overcome my natural instinct to rape everything I see
unreadierLizard
(475 posts)It will be hard - no pun intended!
Even now as I touch this keyboard, I think of how sexy the keys are and how firm the enter key works when I hit it...
See? The compulsion to rape everything is...is just overwhelming! Women are right!
They should make all us men wear ankle bracelets, though I'm afraid I'd try to have my way with it too!
a geek named Bob
(2,715 posts)with the OP's message,
is that this kind of thing promotes a certain form of thought control.
FEH!
Brigid
(17,621 posts)How defensive some men are about rape. They become very uncomfortable when the issue is turned around and the responsibility is placed squarely on the perpetrators, where it belongs. I also find it difficult to understand why they get so upset when women vent their frustration about the issue. Maybe that's something that men who do not rape will just have to live with.
Romulox
(25,960 posts)Confusious
(8,317 posts)and we also have lurking rapists. They like to collect around DU like sharks feeding.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=1236855
gollygee
(22,336 posts)Is that you, Paul Ryan?
I said with as many people as are members and lurkers here, it seems like you have to accept it as a possibility. It isn't like there are a dozen of people who post and read here.
Confusious
(8,317 posts)I added my own sarcastic version.
So it wasn't even a minor misrepresentation.
PS. there, added a sarcasm tag.
gollygee
(22,336 posts)but thanks for linking so people could see what I actually said.
Confusious
(8,317 posts)It's not good sarcasm if it's not huge. And I did add the sarcasm tag, so people know it's semi-bullshit.
I never knowing mislead people.
Blecht
(3,803 posts)And every time it's posted, it whooshes over a lot of heads.
Just proves it needs to be posted some more.
niyad
(113,205 posts)fascisthunter
(29,381 posts)but, unfortunately, there are way to men who have a hard fucking time getting off without raping someone.
Proles
(466 posts)someone posted before, the condescension outweighs the humorous effect.
I did get the impression that it implied that men are untamed animals who can't help but rape. It is pretty insulting.
The sad thing is there are in fact women who blindly blanket all men with this generalization. Perhaps they themselves were sexually assaulted in the past, and they have trust issues, I don't know. But I never support generalizations.
Anyways, I'm not exactly sure what this thread was trying to prove. I highly doubt DU is a cesspool of potential rapists anyways.
Gender equality goes both ways.
But thank you for informing me that I'm a potential rapist, really. I suppose you don't realize you're a potential murderer?
Tip 1: Don't kill people
Tip 2: If you see someone, leave them alone. Don't kill them
Tip 3: If you feel the urge to kill, have a friend stop you
Nye Bevan
(25,406 posts)TOP TIPS TO END MURDER (GUARANTEED TO WORK):
1. When you go into a convenience store, simply choose what you want to buy and pay for it. Under NO circumstances take out a gun and blow away the clerk.
2. Don't be tempted to kill your parents to get your inheritance sooner. Instead, learn to be patient.
3. Is your spouse annoying you, or cheating on you? Divorce is a MUCH better solution than murder.
4. When you see someone withdrawing a large amount of cash from an ATM, do NOT follow them, murder them and then steal their money.
5. If you are really, really angry at someone, and happen to have access to a weapon, count to 10 slowly until your anger subsides. Do not get out your weapon and murder the person you are angry at.
6. If you are a drugs dealer who has been stiffed on a large payment by a customer, report them to Experian or one of the other credit reporting firms. Don't murder them.
7. Angry at the President of the United States? Don't assassinate him. Simply vote against him in the next election!
8. Do you have an unhealthy obsession with a well-known celebrity? Don't stalk and murder them. Join their fan club instead.
9. Refrain from joining any kind of fanatical organization that advocates terrorist attacks and suicide bombings. Because that's murder. Join a more civilized club instead.
10. DON'T murder.
Rex
(65,616 posts)on what 'legitimate' rape is.
niyad
(113,205 posts)Nye Bevan
(25,406 posts)http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/film/roman-polanski/6245219/Roman-Polanski-backlash-as-Whoopi-Goldberg-says-director-didnt-commit-rape-rape.html
Sorry if this is offensive. Let me know if I should remove it quickly...
(This picture was found in Fark in conjunction to their usual weekly Mugshot Roundups)
ProudToBeBlueInRhody
(16,399 posts)12. If a woman agrees to have sex with you, don't, because that is rape. In the patriarchal society no woman can willingly consent to sex.
niyad
(113,205 posts)ProudToBeBlueInRhody
(16,399 posts)I thought that's what this was about? Right?
niyad
(113,205 posts)4th law of robotics
(6,801 posts)since porn = rape.
Also I've heard that staring at a woman can be tantamount to rape.
So really a "to do" list would be simpler than a "don'ts" list.
Men: do sit alone quietly in the dark, awash in guilt for the horrible gender you've chosen. Don't venture outside or make any contact with a female.
arely staircase
(12,482 posts)i like how whoever wrote this gives specific instances in which you shouldn't commit rape. it is like a sign i once saw when visiting a prison "no hostages past this point." the unintentional implications make for wonderful irony.
arely staircase
(12,482 posts)don't blame it on the cia and flee the local constabulary.
there, someone had to say it
4th law of robotics
(6,801 posts)Oh, but that would be horribly bigoted wouldn't it?
/what about advice for women on how not to bring fraudulent rape charges against innocent men (ala the Duke "rape" case?). It's so simple ladies, just don't knowingly lie about being raped.
caseymoz
(5,763 posts). . . why don't also tell the NAACP to stop the Crips and Bloods drug dealing activities? (Recently, Teaparty had a protest with that slant. This sounds a lot like them). Also, you might as well tell the Knights of Columbus to stop the Italian Mafia from running its extortion racket. Or tell Mexican immigrants to stop those drug lords from killing people.
You're making the same kind of mistake here, and is it supposed to be ironic? What makes you think most men have any sway over the criminal element?
And it's because most men have no control over what criminals do that you should regard commonsense precautions against rape as commonsense, not as innuendo that it's your fault. I lock my door at night, and not because I'm responsible if somebody breaks into my place.
Oh, BTW, I promise not to rape anybody, but don't feel encouraged that your sarcasm has reformed one rapist or prevented one rape. Whereas the precautions you denigrate so bitterly have probably prevented a few.