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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsOpen Letter: To my Trump-supporting family.
http://mydaughtersarmy.org/open-letter-to-my-trump-supporting-family/?fbclid=IwAR2jkfwJKjQL8Tz0Ynfq8JFIej0kh2LaE54lNCFV77BbdOcLvk67GChBwcAOpen Letter: To my Trump-supporting family.
To my Trump-supporting family,
On the morning of November 9, 2016, the America I knew and loved died. Or rather, I woke that day to discover that it never really existed in the first place.
Let me explain.
I grew up in the Deep South. I was a flag-waving, gun-shooting, red-blooded American boy. I said the Pledge of Allegiance every morning in school, got tingles when I heard the national anthem, and fervently accepted that no other country on the planet could ever come close to the grandeur, freedom, and inspiration that the United States of America offered. We were that City Upon the Hill that was promised to the world a shining beacon of participatory democracy that everyone else desperately wanted to emulate but could never achieve. We were tough on our allies, but only because we needed to push them to excel and improve. Of course, theyd never quite catch up to us economically, politically, or militarily, but hey, thats the price of not being the USA. The chants of USA! USA! USA werent taunts, but merely celebrations of our preeminence. And anyones detractions were just signs of their jealousy. Because everybody wanted to be American, right?
I was sold the American dream just like the hundreds of millions of my compatriots. Work hard, pay your dues, and youll succeed. No child left behind. All in this together. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps. I joined the Navy and proudly served my country because thats just what a Southern boy did. There simply was no higher honor than being part of the vanguard protecting democracy from those who would do us harm.
Even after traveling the world with the Navy and learning that, actually, America didnt hold a monopoly on freedom, I still wasnt swayed from my categorical resolution that no country was better. No people could be better. America resulted from the failures and lessons learned from every other countrys trials and errors. Mostly errors. But we corrected them all. Where other countries had endured the restrictions of authoritarianism or the unfettered chaos of direct democracy, America perfected the balance with our Constitution and its representative democracy. Sure, we had our own fits-and-starts, which our schools taught seizure of land and the treatment of Native Americans, the slave trade and oppression of black people, relegation of women to the home but the America in which I grew up in the 1980s and 1990s had moved past those missteps. Right? Wasnt America now that happy melting pot teeming with opportunity for all, if only you tried hard enough?
Of course not. But that was how I viewed it. And Im sure thats how you still think of America. What we did to the Native Americans? They just need to accept that we civilized them and they should be thankful. Slavery, Jim Crow, systemic racism? Nah, African Americans need to get over slavery, stop being ghetto thugs, and start accepting responsibility for their own communities. And women certainly have come a long way just dont get too uppity or think youre entitled to too much of a political view, otherwise you risk losing your innate genteelness. (If reading this part makes you feel uncomfortable and it probably does stop for a second and think about why. Your discomfort is whats left of your conscience.)
After I left the Navy and joined the real world, I saw more and more of what this country truly was. The mistreatment of people of color, the judgment and chastisement of the LGBT community, and the everyday sexism. Unlike the America taught in schools, this place had a lot of scars, scratches, and quite a few gaping wounds. But still I thought none of them were terminal. Surely Bill Clinton (for all his flaws) had it right when he said there was nothing wrong with America that couldnt be cured by what was right in America. Surely.
Up until November 8, 2016, I genuinely believed that, despite its myriad shortcomings, America was still the country that stood up to bullies. It valued intellect and scientific discovery. Americans may have disagreed on specific policies, but still had faith that public servants genuinely had the countrys best interests at heart. Immigration built this country. And we should always, always protect the innocent and welcome those fleeing poverty, war, or famine with open arms.
But America didnt elect a leader who represents any of those principles. America didnt elect a leader with any principles. And you did that. You can say you held your nose and voted for the lesser of two evils, or that you only voted for Trump because you knew hed further the policies with which you agreed, even if you found him personally detestable. But when you and all of the other Trump voters pulled that lever, you werent just selecting your preferred presidential candidate. You were selecting what America was. And it is nothing like the America I grew up believing in. To say that your choice and the result it brought about triggered an existential crisis would be an understatement. My whole life, Id been an unquestioning, patriotic servant of America because of what Id believed it stood for. But in a single night, everything it stood for was revealed as a fraud. Everything I stood for was a fraud.
So now, two and half years into the alternative reality, Ive come to grips that this isnt some insane nightmare. This is reality. And seeing how Trump supporters (yourselves included) have behaved since then, I really was a fool for ever believing America stood for anything else.
I wont bore you with my journey to wokeness or why the things you tolerate literally sicken me. Sexual predator? Theyre not hot enough to sexually assault. Racist bully? Fake news. Uncompassionate bigot? They should stay in their own damn countries. Even if I had the capacity and patience to expound on every deviation from the America I thought existed, you wouldnt care. Why? Because youve stopped listening. The rise of Fox News means youve stopped reading the papers. And even if you did, you wouldnt be intrigued or inquisitive about what they say because youve bought into the idea that the press is the enemy of the people (except for Fox News and the National Review, which get passes because, well, why?).
Youve stopped paying attention to anyone who doesnt agree with your crystallized view of the world. Youre the mosquito of the Reagan era, completely unaware the sap has long hardened around you into amber. And frankly, its not even particularly pretty amber. Its dull, opaque, muffled. You cant see or hear through it and you dont want to.
But to be honest with you, Ive lost all interest in trying to break you free. At first, I really wanted to. I wanted you to understand how the promise of America was broken. I wanted you to see so we could find some way to fix it. But every time I tried, you trotted out some line you heard Trump spew (none of which make any sense whatsoever, by the way) or that some Fox News commentator has conned you into thinking reflects reality. So Im done.
The America I believed in doesnt exist. Instead, its a different country now, irretrievably. I get a bit melancholy about it sometimes, because promise and hope and opportunity are like political endorphins, and I miss them. And I miss you. I miss having conversations about our lives as though you hadnt abandoned everything we ever believed in. I miss seeing your smiling faces without having to hold back a political tirade. I miss spending time with you without constantly wondering how you sleep at night knowing what this country is doing to the defenseless.
Surely by now youve seen the APs recent photo of an El Salvadoran man and his two and a half year-old daughter who drowned as they fled the violence in their home country, hoping to seek asylum in America. They drowned because Trump wont let them claim asylum at the border entry points. Hes denying them the safety and promise that America used to stand for. Many observers who havent yet fully recognized their prior delusions are saying, This isnt what we stand for. But it is. Its exactly what America stands for.
And that is why Im done with you and your ilk. Were still family; you raised me; we share the same blood. But we come from and live in two different countries.
Sincerely,
Matthew
On the morning of November 9, 2016, the America I knew and loved died. Or rather, I woke that day to discover that it never really existed in the first place.
Let me explain.
I grew up in the Deep South. I was a flag-waving, gun-shooting, red-blooded American boy. I said the Pledge of Allegiance every morning in school, got tingles when I heard the national anthem, and fervently accepted that no other country on the planet could ever come close to the grandeur, freedom, and inspiration that the United States of America offered. We were that City Upon the Hill that was promised to the world a shining beacon of participatory democracy that everyone else desperately wanted to emulate but could never achieve. We were tough on our allies, but only because we needed to push them to excel and improve. Of course, theyd never quite catch up to us economically, politically, or militarily, but hey, thats the price of not being the USA. The chants of USA! USA! USA werent taunts, but merely celebrations of our preeminence. And anyones detractions were just signs of their jealousy. Because everybody wanted to be American, right?
I was sold the American dream just like the hundreds of millions of my compatriots. Work hard, pay your dues, and youll succeed. No child left behind. All in this together. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps. I joined the Navy and proudly served my country because thats just what a Southern boy did. There simply was no higher honor than being part of the vanguard protecting democracy from those who would do us harm.
Even after traveling the world with the Navy and learning that, actually, America didnt hold a monopoly on freedom, I still wasnt swayed from my categorical resolution that no country was better. No people could be better. America resulted from the failures and lessons learned from every other countrys trials and errors. Mostly errors. But we corrected them all. Where other countries had endured the restrictions of authoritarianism or the unfettered chaos of direct democracy, America perfected the balance with our Constitution and its representative democracy. Sure, we had our own fits-and-starts, which our schools taught seizure of land and the treatment of Native Americans, the slave trade and oppression of black people, relegation of women to the home but the America in which I grew up in the 1980s and 1990s had moved past those missteps. Right? Wasnt America now that happy melting pot teeming with opportunity for all, if only you tried hard enough?
Of course not. But that was how I viewed it. And Im sure thats how you still think of America. What we did to the Native Americans? They just need to accept that we civilized them and they should be thankful. Slavery, Jim Crow, systemic racism? Nah, African Americans need to get over slavery, stop being ghetto thugs, and start accepting responsibility for their own communities. And women certainly have come a long way just dont get too uppity or think youre entitled to too much of a political view, otherwise you risk losing your innate genteelness. (If reading this part makes you feel uncomfortable and it probably does stop for a second and think about why. Your discomfort is whats left of your conscience.)
After I left the Navy and joined the real world, I saw more and more of what this country truly was. The mistreatment of people of color, the judgment and chastisement of the LGBT community, and the everyday sexism. Unlike the America taught in schools, this place had a lot of scars, scratches, and quite a few gaping wounds. But still I thought none of them were terminal. Surely Bill Clinton (for all his flaws) had it right when he said there was nothing wrong with America that couldnt be cured by what was right in America. Surely.
Up until November 8, 2016, I genuinely believed that, despite its myriad shortcomings, America was still the country that stood up to bullies. It valued intellect and scientific discovery. Americans may have disagreed on specific policies, but still had faith that public servants genuinely had the countrys best interests at heart. Immigration built this country. And we should always, always protect the innocent and welcome those fleeing poverty, war, or famine with open arms.
But America didnt elect a leader who represents any of those principles. America didnt elect a leader with any principles. And you did that. You can say you held your nose and voted for the lesser of two evils, or that you only voted for Trump because you knew hed further the policies with which you agreed, even if you found him personally detestable. But when you and all of the other Trump voters pulled that lever, you werent just selecting your preferred presidential candidate. You were selecting what America was. And it is nothing like the America I grew up believing in. To say that your choice and the result it brought about triggered an existential crisis would be an understatement. My whole life, Id been an unquestioning, patriotic servant of America because of what Id believed it stood for. But in a single night, everything it stood for was revealed as a fraud. Everything I stood for was a fraud.
So now, two and half years into the alternative reality, Ive come to grips that this isnt some insane nightmare. This is reality. And seeing how Trump supporters (yourselves included) have behaved since then, I really was a fool for ever believing America stood for anything else.
I wont bore you with my journey to wokeness or why the things you tolerate literally sicken me. Sexual predator? Theyre not hot enough to sexually assault. Racist bully? Fake news. Uncompassionate bigot? They should stay in their own damn countries. Even if I had the capacity and patience to expound on every deviation from the America I thought existed, you wouldnt care. Why? Because youve stopped listening. The rise of Fox News means youve stopped reading the papers. And even if you did, you wouldnt be intrigued or inquisitive about what they say because youve bought into the idea that the press is the enemy of the people (except for Fox News and the National Review, which get passes because, well, why?).
Youve stopped paying attention to anyone who doesnt agree with your crystallized view of the world. Youre the mosquito of the Reagan era, completely unaware the sap has long hardened around you into amber. And frankly, its not even particularly pretty amber. Its dull, opaque, muffled. You cant see or hear through it and you dont want to.
But to be honest with you, Ive lost all interest in trying to break you free. At first, I really wanted to. I wanted you to understand how the promise of America was broken. I wanted you to see so we could find some way to fix it. But every time I tried, you trotted out some line you heard Trump spew (none of which make any sense whatsoever, by the way) or that some Fox News commentator has conned you into thinking reflects reality. So Im done.
The America I believed in doesnt exist. Instead, its a different country now, irretrievably. I get a bit melancholy about it sometimes, because promise and hope and opportunity are like political endorphins, and I miss them. And I miss you. I miss having conversations about our lives as though you hadnt abandoned everything we ever believed in. I miss seeing your smiling faces without having to hold back a political tirade. I miss spending time with you without constantly wondering how you sleep at night knowing what this country is doing to the defenseless.
Surely by now youve seen the APs recent photo of an El Salvadoran man and his two and a half year-old daughter who drowned as they fled the violence in their home country, hoping to seek asylum in America. They drowned because Trump wont let them claim asylum at the border entry points. Hes denying them the safety and promise that America used to stand for. Many observers who havent yet fully recognized their prior delusions are saying, This isnt what we stand for. But it is. Its exactly what America stands for.
And that is why Im done with you and your ilk. Were still family; you raised me; we share the same blood. But we come from and live in two different countries.
Sincerely,
Matthew
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Open Letter: To my Trump-supporting family. (Original Post)
babylonsister
Aug 2019
OP
Karadeniz
(22,492 posts)1. We all share his depression.
Girard442
(6,067 posts)2. I know how he feels.
What's the point in traveling to visit family when you'll be there the whole time with a knot in your stomach waiting for the inevitable turd to splash down into the punchbowl. Do you really want to hear an argument supporting locking preschoolers in a cage where they sit in their own shit?
Peace06
(248 posts)3. trump supporting family members
It is heart breaking to hear people that you have loved and respected defend the atrocities of trump. The poster has my sympathy and understanding. Hey, at least we dont have to shoot and kill them as in civil war days! Even tho, we may sometimes feel like it! This too, shall pass.