Since we're doing conspiracy theories, how about this one?

[StarfishSaver]

Epstein felt angry and betrayed by Trump and Barr, two old friends for whom he had done countless favors and he was always sure would have his back. On top of that, the thought of spending the rest of his life in prison as a convicted pedophile was unbearable to him - and he was looking for an opportunity to end it all.

And then he came up with a brilliant plan. He would maneuver himself into a position in which he could take his life and, knowing how disorganized and badly managed the MCC was, it wasn't difficult. He asked to be taken off suicide watch and then waited for the perfect opportunity when the guards weren't paying attention to him and did the deed, knowing full well that his death would not only release him from his misery, but would cause endless chaos and suspicions to befall Trump and Barr. People would never believe they hadn't caused his death. And because things looked so suspicious, the media, law enforcement and the courts would be much more likely to keep digging into their involvement with Epstein and his operation and they couldn't tamp it down as effectively as they'd like because that would make them look even more guilty. This would dog them to their graves whereas, had Epstein stayed alive, he would have eventually disappeared into the system and been pretty much forgotten.

The ultimate revenge.

Don't scoff. Since we're coming up with conspiracies, mine is just as good as any other.

[dchill]

1. Too soft and squishy! Trump ordered it ...

...and Barr made it happen.

Just a theory.

[Joe941]

14. Ok...

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

2. I'll definitely buy that one over some of the nonsense I've been reading this afternoon.

Occam's Razor, people.

[brush]

3. It's good. Let's just go a step further and call it an assisted suicide.

Too many coincidences just "happened" for him to be able to hang himself—cameras not working, guards falling asleep, cellmate removed, Barr visited the jail before, not to mention many rich and prominent people from the orange menace on down wanted the info Epstein had on them erased by him being eliminated.

That hanging could have/would have been prevented if it was more desirable for him to stay alive.

[maxsolomon]

4. Plausible, but you didn't account for the Omnipotent Clenis.

Clearly, the Clenis had him strangled.

"I have no idea if it's true" - the President of the United States

[solara]

5. A scenario

The tyrant trump, taps a NYT picture of Epstein with his tiny fingers as he waddles into the Oval Office, yelling over his shoulder- "Will no one rid me of this troublesome, loud-mouth, multi-millionaire, party-boy pimp?

tyrant trump's random assistant aka henchman #1-eating a doughnut while standing round awaiting his orders for the day: "Does he mean what I think he means?"

tyrant trump's random assistant aka henchman #2-drinking a coffee, standing round awaiting his orders for the day: "Sure seems like it"

tyrant trump's henchman #1- Grabs a burner phone from a random desk in the Oval Office Corridor and hands it to henchman #2: "Gotta be careful to make it look ..right"

tyrant trump's henchman #2-Opens the burner phone and makes a call: "No problem.. we've done this shit before"

[comradebillyboy]

6. I've seen worse theories. It's plausible at least.

[lpbk2713]

7. He was used to living the life of a billionaire pedophile autocrat.

And he knew that world came crashing down and would be no more.
If he didn't punch his own ticket he was probably okay with someone
else doing it.

[uponit7771]

8. Sounds good

[mopinko]

9. personally, i think that the loss of those

3 orgasms a day was enough to make him pull his own plug.
i'm not kidding. an addict going cold turkey is a sad thing.

[cwydro]

10. To paraphrase the TSA agent on another thread here -

You funny.

[lame54]

11. He asked to be taken off suicide watch?...

Is that how it works?

The suicidal asked to be taken off suicide watch and they say yes?

[StarfishSaver]

12. Actually, that is how it often works in faciliities

[Demonaut]

13. very good and plausible