"More Impeaches than Anyone!"; New Scandal-Naming Convention Announced
“You never forget your first,” the old man reminisced from prison. “I sure was surprised they found the energy to finally impeach, but once I talked my way into that one, the impeachments kept coming! Everyday the rats jumped ship and spilled the beans, and every day the House voted to impeach me.”
“Pelosi decided to put me in the record books, 296 impeachments. Might have made it to a cool 300 but ole Mitch finally landed in jail and by the time that happened, so many GOP senators had had their arms hard-twisted they had trouble making the voting buttons operate. Some accidentally even voted “Yes”.”
“But that first one? Right away they figured out they could not just call it Ukraine-Gate cuz it wouldn’t be the only one with Ukraine in the mix. You got your Manafort Ukraine system and your Zelensky phone call investigation... They thought about using a hurricane naming protocol, others suggested the Dewey decimal system. What they ever come up with, anyway?”
“I don’t know. What they call that first one? I forgot the name.”
Could never happen, cuz the prisoner in orange in the cell with fluorescent lighting was never that fluent in English or that coherent. But the impeachments? No question. Guinness book of Record for The Most Impeaches by a Single President. And “The Most Family Members Went Down with him.” Didn’t stop until the day the new Congress got sworn in.
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