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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsPence Lies Against Bathroom Wall For Hours After Encountering Doorknob That Looks Like Female Breast
WASHINGTONRocking back and forth on the tile floor as he averted his eyes from the disgustingly suggestive entryway hardware, Vice President Mike Pence was reportedly against a bathroom wall for hours Thursday following an encounter with a doorknob resembling the female breast.
Come on, Mikey, snap out of it stand up, walk over there, just pull the door open, and youll be free, said the vice president, attempting to avoid making physical contact with the enticingly curvaceous door pull by wrapping his fingers in a paper towel, only to have it tear and bring his palm into contact with the offensive contours, which sent him back to the sink to repeatedly wash his hands.
Remember, its not a real woman. Its just a piece of metal like any other doorknob. Just take a deep breath and dont throw up.
At press time, Pence had collapsed when a Secret Service agent opened the door, causing the knob to jiggle suggestively.
https://politics.theonion.com/paralyzed-mike-pence-lies-against-bathroom-wall-for-hou-1839861239
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Pence Lies Against Bathroom Wall For Hours After Encountering Doorknob That Looks Like Female Breast (Original Post)
Zorro
Nov 2019
OP
Gothmog
(144,939 posts)1. I love the Onion
Cirque du So-What
(25,908 posts)2. Ah, The Onion...
If they're not careful, they're gonna get designated a national treasure or somethin'.
Floyd R. Turbo
(26,545 posts)3. Ha! 😂
Ilsa
(61,690 posts)4. That is hysterical!
ヾ 。ꏿ﹏ꏿ
Is this a jiggle emoji?
Blue_Tires
(55,445 posts)5. Damn, I wanted to see the doorknob.