Report: Yovanovich's Are Way Bigger Than Trump's
Humor/Satire
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The National Institute For Reporting Stuff and Things has issued a new report that estimates Ambassador Marie Yovanovich has “way, way, way, way bigger ones” than President Donald Trump.
“Given that Ambassador Yovanovich has literally dodged bullets in service to this country and all Trump’s dodged is the draft and all he’s served is himself at the buffet,” Dr. Denise Dennis of the NIFRST told reporters at a press conference this morning, “this was almost one of those reports we didn’t even do. It just seemed so obvious after about four minutes of her testimony that the ambassador has a pair the size of Montana, and that Trump can’t even spell Montana.”
Dr. Dennis said, however, that her institution has a “duty to study and report” and so, despite what she said was a “pretty obvious conclusion from the start,” she and her team did a quick bit of research.
“Literally in the middle of her testimony, the most powerful so-called man in the free world — a man who commands an actual nuclear arsenal — tried to intimidate her,” Dr. Dennis explained further, “and not just to his 68 million Twitter followers, to the entire world. It had no impact on Ms. Yovanovitch. In fact, the tweet itself was more proof of how scared shitless that man is, and it’s a byproduct of his having smaller ones.”
https://www.politicalgarbagechute.com/yovanovitch-trump/
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