John Boehner Sucks and So Does His Portrait

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

As the newly self-appointed National Portrait Reporter here at the Stranger, let me tell you, I'm eating WELL this week. While I was typing away about Jeff Bezos and his unsettling portrait that now adorns the walls of the National Portrait Gallery, Congress went and formally "honored" Former Speaker of the House John Boehner with a portrait. Current Speaker Nancy Pelosi stood next to him. Apparently she brought him a box of tissues, an intimate gesture, knowing that he was going to tear up at the ceremony.

This portrait dedication came right as the impeachment hearings were ramping up, a fact that multiple outlets reporting on the ceremony noted. Hailed as a "uniting moment for Democrats and Republicans amid a divisive impeachment inquiry" by Business Insider, this is my moment to remind you, the world at large, that John Boehner, former House Representative of Ohio's 8th district, still fucking sucks. So it's fitting that his portrait—painted by Ronald Sherr and destined to hang at the U.S. Capitol forever—does too.

Link to tweet

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The sheen from this photo makes it hard to get a good look, but it's rather boring. Boehner is portrayed sitting with his legs crossed in a giant leather chair, looking out at the viewer. His tie is red in what I assume is a nod to his party affiliation. On his hand, you can very clearly see his wedding band, which is perhaps a comment on his values (fidelity, endurance, heterosexuality, belief in the institution of marriage, etc.). None of the emotion that the former Speaker was known for is apparent at all.

Taking a break from hawking tobacco, Boehner gave an emotional (for him) speech after unveiling the portrait, where he thanked the people of his district, his colleagues on both sides of the aisle, and shared some highlights from his time in office. He, of course, resigned from his position in 2015 after facing mounting pressure from the right-most flank of his party, which has now overrun our capital.

https://www.thestranger.com/slog/2019/11/21/42062993/john-boehner-sucks-and-so-does-his-portrait

[5X]

1. His cheeks are a little rosy and is that a nicotine stain on his fingers?

[TheBlackAdder]

2. It's not that bad. It hides the overexposure to sun and alcohol.

[smirkymonkey]

3. He's not orange enough.

Or drunk enough.

[Blue Owl]

4. Did they airbrush out the cigarette?

n/t

[Brother Buzz]

6. That, and the highball glass

[Hassler]

5. Missing from the portrait: a

Glass of Merlot in one hand and, now that he's part of the green rush, a Bob Marley sized blunt in the other hand.

[NRaleighLiberal]

7. Isn't this the actual picture?