Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-1: Living In A Mobster's Paradise Edition

[Top 10 Idiots]

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-1: Living In A Mobster’s Paradise Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! What’s up Syracuse? How you guys doing? You doing fucking good? Great! It’s a new year, I hope everyone is refreshed from the holidays. And I hope that everyone loses the weight that they gained from eating all the holiday sweets! What? I’m just saying it happens! Miss, give it a chance, I just got up here. For those of you viewing at home there’s people already leaving! We still have an hour! Plus we got some awesome live music to start us off with from Anti-Flag. You know we here at the Top 10 like to provide job opportunities, and we’ve got one for you right now. Yes, we’re channeling our inner job service provider here. What’s the job? Oh only driving the Oscar Mayer Weinermobile as a “brand ambassador”. Now don’t make jokes yet, but it’s easier to get into an Ivy League than it is to drive the Weinermobile,. I’m guessing because it’s a very long vehicle and difficult to drive through tunnels. But you get to be a “brand ambassador”, whatever that is, But you get to drive the country in the Weinermobile, how cool is that? OK yeah my inner 5 year old is cheering this, but whatever. Hey at least you get a job where it pays to travel! OK that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to, but first Stephen Colbert is back (yay!!!) and dives head first into the possibility of World War III:

I got to be honest here, we had a much different edition planned before the shit show with Iran started taking place. In the first slot this week of course whenever the Top 10 is on an extended break, we always like to catch up on stuff we missed (1), and because our president is such a loose cannon, anything can happen in this topsy-turvy world in which we live. In the second slot this week, did the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump (2) inadvertently start World War III? Well we as a society need to take a step back and collectively pull each other’s heads out of our asses. Taking the third slot this week is also Donald J. Trump (3). And we have to recap his black tie New Year’s Eve at Mar-A-Shithole, and well, it might be the worst red carpet ever. Taking the fourth slot this week is one of our favorite segments on natural and man-made disasters – “We’re All Gonna Die!!!” and for this one we’re going to do a Choose Your Own Adventure style for this one – are we going to die in horrifying fires or nuclear winter? The choice is yours! Taking the fifth slot this week is of course our weekly investigative piece, “Top 10 Investigates” (5), and this week we’re going to take a look at plastic bag bans – do they work and how effective are they? In the #6 slot this week is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6), and WTF, people. Our resident pastor is back from vacation and he sees that the insane prophecy among the Trump hardcore known as “Q” has become self-aware, and yeah it’s insane. Taking the 7th slot this week we have a new “Beating A Dead Horse” (7) and this week, there’s some extreme celebrity trolling happing and it’s getting ugly no matter if you’re the troll or you’re getting trolled. At slot #8 this week is a new edition of one of our favorite segments – “This Fucking Guy” and this week’s profile is a guy who is a rising star among conservatives, and that is recently pardoned war hero / criminal Edward Gallagher (8) and if you guessed that he’s a bad guy, well, you’re not wrong. And in the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week is a new People Are Dumb (9) and of course on New Year’s there’s no shortage of incredibly stupid people. Finally this week, our 2020 voters’ guide, Keeping Up With The Candidates, is going to take a look at the latest people to drop out of the 2020 race including Julian Castro and Bill DeBlasio, and you might be wondering who the hell are these guys? Well, so do the rest of us! And what better way to start 2020 than with a band whose new album is called “2020 Vision”? That’s right, our good friends Anti-Flag will be joining us! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Catch Up On Stuff We Missed
[br] [/font] [br]

Happy New Year everybody!!! Whew!!! It is good to be back! How was your holidays and New Year’s? I hope they were good. Since we were out for almost a month, whenever the Top 10 is on an extended break, we like to catch up on stuff we missed. Because this is a ridiculous world we live in, fueled by social media, where everything crazy happens on an almost hourly basis, and there’s no off switch, none whatsoever. Which means that we miss some absolutely batshit crazy stuff. Like for instance Trump almost declaring World War III, which we will get to in a minute. Let’s lighten things up a bit, you know, the calm before the storm. Let’s start with the Home Alone 2 outrage. Yeah that was a thing that happened.

President Donald Trump reacted to news that his short cameo in the 1992 movie "Home Alone 2: Lost in New York" was cut from a Canadian television channel's recent broadcasts. While Mr. Trump appeared to make light of it on Twitter, many of his fans, including his eldest son, disapproved of the cut and raised questions of political bias — even though it turns out the edit was made in 2014, well before Mr. Trump decided to run for office.

On Thursday, Mr. Trump poked fun at Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau after the CBC network removed the scene showing Mr. Trump walking through the Plaza Hotel as actor Macaulay Culkin's character, Kevin McCallister, stops him to ask for directions.

"I guess Justin T doesn't much like my making him pay up on NATO or Trade!" he tweeted. In another tweet, he wrote, "The movie will never be the same! (just kidding)".

Donald Trump Jr. ripped the CBC for taking out the scene in an Instagram post, calling the Canadian broadcaster "totally pathetic." "Imagine being so 'triggered' that you can't even leave a Christmas movie alone without editing," he wrote. "This is what we are up against in 2020."
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/home-alone-2-donald-trump-cameo-cut-canadian-broadcasting-corporation/

Yeah so that happened. Then is there anything that the Trumps don’t make super weird or creepy, I mean anything? Just take a look at Donald Trump Jr.’s Christmas gift. Now don’t boo yet – yes he got an assault rifle that had Hillary’s picture in prison with it. Fitting because he’ll be the one most likely going to prison in the near future. And we’re not going to show it because we don’t want to encourage this kind of behavior. That said…

Donald Trump Jr. on Sunday posted three photos on Instagram of his AR-15 that features a depiction of Hillary Clinton apparently behind bars. In the images, President Trump's eldest son smiles while holding the assault rife. The former secretary of state can be seen on the weapon's magazine.

"Nice day at the range," he wrote. "@rarebreedfirearms and @spikes_tactical adding a little extra awesome to my AR and that mag ..." he wrote.

The image apparently shows the 2016 Democratic nominee behind jail bars. "Lock her up" became a frequent rally cry for supporters of Donald Trump Jr.'s father during the 2016 and 2020 presidential campaigns. The AR-15 also shows a medieval knight's helmet with a Crusader cross above the magazine. It also has "Made in the USA" and "Crusader" emblazoned on the rifle.

The president is facing articles of impeachment as well global scrutiny for authorizing an airstrike that killed Iran's top military official Qassem Soleimani.
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/trump-jr-instagram-ar15-weapon-rifle-hillary-clinton-behind-bars/

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! This might be the worst Christmas gift ever. I was going to talk about how Matt Bevin pardoned that rapist, but then again we’re trying to keep things light around here, this is a comedy show after all! I do have to talk about what may be the most Florida conservative of all Florida conservative events – there’s a convention now that women pay good money to go listen to male lecturers man ‘splain stuff to them. Yes that’s a thing that exists!

Organizers say it is "destined to be the mansplaining event of the century."

Brought to you by the same Orlando-based bros who host the 21 Convention to "actualize the ideal man," the 22 Convention is coming to "make women great again."

The May 1-3 event will be held at an Orlando location disclosed to only to those who pay for admission. Tickets cost $1,999 (there's a sale for $999), and are only sold to women. All of the speakers are men.

"Women today are being taught to act more like men," says the 22 Convention website, which they say has led to divorce, depression, dysfunction, and rampant single motherhood. "No longer will you have to give in to toxic bullying feminist dogma and go against your biological nature," say organizers.

Mansplainers on hand to redirect the wayward women in attendance include convention founder Anthony Johnson, whose bio says his mission is to "destroy the feminist establishment," Alexander Coates, described as a "fitness guru and modern-day philosopher winning the minds of men and the hearts of women," and other right-wing personalities with hundreds of thousands of followers on Twitter and Facebook (which are definitely not Russian bots, like those of men's rights activist and 21 Convention speaker Mike Cernovich).

http://www.filmixer.pl/galeria_pocz/Man-talk,James-Bond,3707.gif

Seriously, is 1960s James Bond one of the keynote speakers? The last thing I want to catch up on is Meat Loaf vs Greta Thunberg. Yes, you know Meatloaf as the perfectly sane and rational singer from Celebrity Apprentice.

Yeah whew, I would not want to get on that guy’s bad side, he seems like he could be a future serial killer, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he already has skeletons in his closet. Don’t worry, we’ll expand on this topic in next week’s “Beating A Dead Horse”. But for now there’s this.

Greta Thunberg responded to singer Meat Loaf's assertion that she has been "brainwashed" on climate change by stating that the issue of environmental injustice extends well beyond him.

The "Bat Out of Hell" singer told the Daily Mail in a Jan. 1 interview that he does not believe in climate change, but rather, that he believes Thunberg, 17, has been "brainwashed."

"She has been brainwashed into thinking that there is climate change and there isn't," he said. "She hasn't done anything wrong but she's been forced into thinking that what she is saying is true."

Thunberg, who was named Time magazine's Person of the Year for 2019, responded to the musician on Twitter on Monday, wri
https://www.nbcnews.com/pop-culture/pop-culture-news/greta-thunberg-responds-meat-loaf-comment-she-s-been-brainwashed-n1111436

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font] [br]

If there’s one person who we don’t need at the helm of these great United States of ours during a time of potential war, it’s Donald J. Trump. Because when it comes to choices, he doesn’t always pick the one that would cause the least amount of chaos. He’s more like the Joker. He doesn’t have any rhyme or reason to anything he does. He just wants to cause chaos. And that is his specialty. He’s the most unstable individual we’ve ever had serving in the Oval Office, and when it comes to war, as Commander In Chief, Trump will almost always take the most extreme position. It’s as if they gave him 5 choices and he just picked one at random like in the Simpsons Movie.

President Donald Trump dug in Sunday night on his threat to attack Iranian cultural sites if Tehran retaliates for the killing of Gen. Qassem Soleimani, one of Iran's top military and intelligence officials.

Speaking aboard Air Force One on his return to Washington on Sunday from a holiday at his Mar-a-Lago resort in Florida, Trump said: "They’re allowed to kill our people. They’re allowed to torture and maim our people. They’re allowed to use roadside bombs and blow up our people. And we’re not allowed to touch their cultural sites. It doesn’t work that way."

Trump was responding to backlash over the threat he made via Twitter on Saturday to attack 52 targets if Iran retaliates and his claim in a tweet that those targets would be "at a very high level & important to Iran & the Iranian culture," according to a pool report.

Asked about fears Iran might retaliate, the president told reporters: "If it happens, it happens. If they do anything, there will be major retaliation."
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/trump-doubles-down-threat-iranian-cultural-sites-demands-iraq-pay-n1111031

Holy shit!!! Not only does Trump murder the second in command in Iran, and threatens to attack their country’s cultural sites, he doubles down on that shit! Wouldn’t that be enough to tell the MAGAs that he’s not the right guy for the job? He’s going to get a whole lot of people killed in the process and they may not be limited to just the military. And what the fuck is he talking about? Man, remind the Idiots that we should never take a break that long ever again!

President Donald Trump threatened to impose deep sanctions on Iraq if it moves to expel U.S. troops and said Sunday he would not withdraw entirely unless the military is compensated for the "extraordinarily expensive air base" there.

Trump's remarks came on the same day that Iraq's Parliament voted to support expelling the U.S. military from its country over mounting anger about a drone strike the president ordered last week that killed Iran's Qasem Soleimani and earlier U.S. airstrikes in the country. The vote was nonbinding.

"We've spent a lot of money in Iraq," Trump told reporters aboard Air Force One as he returned to Washington after spending the holidays at his Florida resort, Mar-a-Lago. "We have a very extraordinarily expensive air base that’s there. It cost billions of dollars to build. ... We’re not leaving unless they pay us back for it."

The president added that if Iraqi officials try to kick the United States out the country it would not leave on a "very friendly basis." The U.S. invasion of Iraq took place in 2003.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2020/01/05/donald-trump-threatens-iraq-sanctions-expel-us-troops/2821255001/

Yeah so it’s going to be kind of like that. Hey everyone we’re all gonna die! And yes we’re going to get to that segment in a few minutes. And come on, if there’s one thing that Trump knows, its’ sizes. And in particular sizes of his male organ… er, army. And he’s warning Iran that if they retaliate against the US, be prepared to suffer the consequences! Holy shit, we really are gonna die aren’t we?

President Donald Trump on Sunday repeated a threat to target Iranian cultural sites, which critics say could amount to a war crime, if Tehran retaliates for a U.S. drone strike that killed its top military general.

"They’re allowed to kill our people. They’re allowed to torture and maim our people. They’re allowed to use roadside bombs and blow up our people,” Trump told reporters aboard Air Force One on his way back to Washington, D.C, from his Mar-a-Lago resort in Palm Beach, Florida. “And we’re not allowed to touch their cultural site? It doesn’t work that way."

Trump's comments appeared to contradict Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, who earlier on Sunday vowed the administration would "behave lawfully" in regards to a list of targets the U.S. would strike if Iran launched a retaliatory attack for the death of Gen. Qasem Soleimani, the leader of Iran's elite Quds Force.

Iran has repeatedly vowed to retaliate for the attack, sparking fears it could trigger further military action or launch a war. On Saturday in a pair of tweets, the president warned the U.S. has identified 52 Iranian targets, including some cultural sites, that "WILL BE HIT VERY FAST AND VERY HARD" if Iran were to take action.

Critics — including top Iranian officials — were quick to point out the threat amounted to a war crime.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2020/01/05/iran-trump-mocks-congress-war-powers-act-notification-over-action/2818355001/

That guy seems awfully confident about that doesn’t he? But we really might need the panicked guy after this because this is no murder, it’s going to have serious consequences that are going to last decades, maybe even centuries. And the last thing the Middle East needs is more instability. You know it takes a lifetime to build a reputation and some jackass with a wrecking ball can come and knock it down in a matter of seconds. Well, Donald J. Trump is just that jackass!

On Sunday, just days after the U.S. strike that killed the powerful Iranian military commander Qassem Soleimani, the Trump administration got its first real taste of international pushback. The Iraqi parliament voted to oust American troops from the country and Tehran announced that it would pull completely out of its obligations under the 2015 nuclear deal.

The pushback didn’t come in the form of a targeted strike on a major American outpost or U.S. service member, but combined, the two events served as a wakeup call for officials in Washington who for days had tried desperately to manage the fallout of the Soleimani strike, with some describing it as an act to “advance the cause of peace.”

President Donald Trump’s truculent response? Threaten Iraq with sanctions if it expels U.S. troops: “If they do ask us to leave, if we don’t do it in a very friendly basis, we will charge them sanctions like they’ve never seen before ever. It’ll make Iranian sanctions look somewhat tame.”

Tehran’s announcement about its nuclear program Sunday indicated that the efforts Iran and the United States made in recent months to discuss the possibility of negotiations had all but evaporated. And the Iraqi vote in parliament, although nonbinding, worried officials in the State Department who for days had tried to convince officials in Iraq that backing America’s presence in the country was still the best bet for a continued partnership.
https://www.thedailybeast.com/iraq-tells-trump-gtfo-after-strike-that-killed-qassem-soleimani

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font] [br]

New Year’s Eve was on a Tuesday this year. Yeah really, what the fuck? I know we can’t change the course of nature, but can New Year’s take place on Fridays every year? Well we’re going to talk about one New Year’s Eve party in particular and that was the huge Mar-A-Lago bash that Trump held in Miami to celebrate the new year that is 2020. And man, does anyone have a happier New Year than Donald J. Trump does? The guy looks like he’s constantly pissed off at everything and anything. Let’s take a look at the guest list for this shindig. This might be the worst red carpet ceremony ever.

Sequins and Benghazi. Canapés and a "big fat hoax." Peonies and the potential for war.

President Donald Trump began celebrating a new year Tuesday perched squarely on the junction of opulence and bluster that have come to define his personal and political persona, the clink of Champagne glasses wafting under his stern warning to Iran and a red carpet framing his flaming of Democrats.

He was ushering out a decade that began by crowning Bret Michaels the Celebrity Apprentice and ended with fresh risk for presiding over conflict on two continents. The now-familiar dichotomy between Trump the billionaire celebrity and Trump the commander in chief is never more apparent than at Mar-a-Lago, the South Florida estate where guests jockey to meet the proprietor who also happens to run the country.

Appearing before a bank of cameras he had invited onto his property, Trump warned Iran that the US would vanquish it quickly and deemed House Speaker Nancy Pelosi a "highly overrated person" as his wife looked on.

"We're going to have a great year, I predict," Trump said as he arrived to his party.
https://www.cnn.com/2020/01/01/politics/trump-new-years-eve-mar-a-lago-gala/index.html

Actually you might be wrong. But with guests like these, this is quite the mix. You have gangsters, mobsters, and for some reason Rudy Giuliani keeps getting invited to things.

Link to tweet

Seriously this might be the worst red carpet ever - nothing but mobsters, criminals, and MAGAs. Eh, whatever, we’re just living in a mobster’s paradise. Been spending most our lives living in a mobster’s paradise! Yeah that’s my Coolio chunk, because I know what’s hip and cool, damn it! And I mean come on, let's face it, this is what happens when your fashion designer has the same taste as your interior decorator. Who wore it better - her or the drapes? And then there was this guy.

President Donald Trump rang in the new year just like the rest of us: at a big, fancy party, surrounded by family, friends, and MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell.

Yup – that’s Minnesota’s own evangelizing pillow mogul swanking it up at Mar-a-Lago. Other notable guests included Fox anchor Lou Dobbs—a man who once attributed the simple act of having a “good weekend” to Trump—and Ben Carson, former neurosurgeon and longtime Trump cabinet member, as far as Trump cabinet members go. The First Lady and Trump’s five children were there as well.

The party wasn't the only fun Lindell had on New Year's Eve: Check out this thumbs-up photo with U.S. Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-South Carolina) he posted on Twitter

Lindell has been one of Trump’s biggest supporters in Minnesota for a while now, even going as far as claiming the president was “chosen by God," and this isn't his first invite to a party with the swankiest of Trump supporters. In January 2017, Lindell was a guest at Trump's inauguration bash, where he was reportedly... a hit with the ladies.
http://www.citypages.com/news/welp-heres-the-mypillow-guy-at-trumps-new-years-eve-party/566647211

And that’s why you don’t make deals with the Mafia. Although if you kiss Don Trump’s ass enough you might get an invite to his NYE bash. And come on, who cuts loose more than Donald J. Trump does? He seems like he’s constantly unhappy. I don’t need to remind you of what happened when he went to his first CPAC convention (see: Top 10 #3-5 ). But this might be the craziest part of his NYE – ever feel like there’s people who know more than you when a major event happens? Well Trump may have breached a whole shit ton of government protocols by showing this video to his Mar-A-Lago guests.

In the five days prior to launching a strike that killed Iran’s most important military leader, Donald Trump roamed the halls of Mar-a-Lago, his private resort in Florida, and started dropping hints to close associates and club-goers that something huge was coming.

According to three people who’ve been at the president’s Palm Beach club over the past several days, Trump began telling friends and allies hanging at his perennial vacation getaway that he was working on a “big” response to the Iranian regime that they would be hearing or reading about very “soon.” His comments went beyond the New Year’s Eve tweet he sent out warning of the “big price” Iran would pay for damage to U.S. facilities. Two of these sources tell The Daily Beast that the president specifically mentioned he’d been in close contact with his top national security and military advisers on gaming out options for an aggressive action that could quickly materialize.

“He kept saying, ‘You’ll see,’” one of the sources recalled, describing a conversation with Trump days before Thursday’s strike.
https://www.thedailybeast.com/trump-told-mar-a-lago-pals-to-expect-big-iran-action-days-before-soleimanis-death

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]We’re All Gonna Die
[br] [/font] [br]



Hey everyone guess what? We’re all gonna die! Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!! Woooooooooo!!! Wooooooo. Woo. Of course I say this every time that devastating wildfires or impending nuclear Armageddon are in the news, but there’s actually a couple of ways that we could die this week and for that we’re doing this in a “choose your own adventure” style format. Yes, remember those books that you loved as a kid? Well now they’re being used to determine your own death. Yes, sleep tight everybody! So how could you possibly literally die in a fire this week? Well we’re not making fun of the horror in Down Under just yet, instead we’re going to let this play out a bit.

The world has watched with horror as bushfires have torn across Australia, leaving a trail of destruction in their wake.

The blazes have razed almost 2,000 homes, and killed at least 25 people and hundreds of millions of animals since they began in September.

People in Australia and abroad, including politicians and celebrities, have been eager to find ways to offer assistance and support.

But authorities have warned that some kinds of help can actually be a hindrance and overwhelm fire-affected communities.

Here are some of the ways that the world has responded to Australia's bushfire crisis, and what help those responding to the crisis say is needed.
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-australia-51024904

Hey hey hey, we don’t need to give that kid any matches. Though that may be too far off, now before we go any further, do we want to continue with what’s happening in Australia or do we switch to what’s happening in Iran? You’re choosing Iran? Great, let’s run with it. Yes Trump’s gone and screwed the pooch with US – Middle Eastern relations. But guess what? If the fires don’t kill us, a giant fiery nuclear apocalypse might!

In foreign policy circles, the policy was known as the “maximum pressure” campaign. Donald Trump and his team abandoned the international nuclear agreement with Iran, despite the fact that it was working exactly as intended, with the intention of moving towards a policy that would be “tougher” and even more effective.

As Colin Kahl, an Obama administration veteran, recently explained, “Trump’s ‘maximum pressure’ campaign was supposed to induce Iran to scrap its nuclear program (which was already contained by the 2015 nuclear deal). Instead, Trump’s actions have incentivized Iran to restart it, creating a completely unnecessary crisis.”

<snip>

Geopolitical debates over nuclear policy can be complex, but the dynamic in this instance is surprisingly straightforward. Before Trump abandoned the Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action (JCPOA) – the formal name for the Iran nuclear deal – Iran’s nuclear weapons program was on indefinite hold. In the months that followed the Republican’s decision, officials in Tehran took incremental steps in a dangerous direction, starting up advanced centrifuges, for example, increasing the speed with which Iran can produce enriched uranium.

In the wake of Trump’s airstrike killing Gen. Qassem Soleimani, Iran has gone even further, announcing over the weekend that it’s now ending its commitment to limit enrichment of uranium.

Or put another way, the American president, for reasons he’s struggled to explain, has taken a series of unnecessary steps that have accelerated the Iranian nuclear program that had been kept in check.
http://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/trumps-policy-accelerates-irans-pursuit-nuclear-weapon

Ok so before we go any further, stick with the nuclear apocalypse or do we go back to the Australia fires? Let’s stick with the fires? Great, let’s run with it! Well whenever disaster strikes you can always count on charities ready to help, and scammers to take some of that hard earned money away from legitimate charities. And you can also find creative ways to help get people to donate. Like this!

The model who went viral this week for inspiring people to donate to Australian bushfire relief in exchange for her nude photos now estimates she has raised more than $1 million.

Kaylen Ward, 20, ignited the craze on Jan. 3 with a tweet saying she would send a nude photo to anyone who provided proof that they donated to one of a list of organizations working in Australia.

That tweet blew up; just a few days later, Ward estimated that more than $1 million in donations had been generated.

Ward told BuzzFeed News she's "extremely overwhelmed" and "so happy."

It's hard to pin down an exact number of donations attributed to Ward, and BuzzFeed News cannot verify the $1 million figure. Her estimate is based on how many legitimate donation receipts are being sent per minute that meet the minimum of $10. Ward said that — after filtering out fake receipts and other DMs, such as ones from well-wishers — about 50% of the messages she's getting are legit.
https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/laurenstrapagiel/kaylen-ward-australia-fires-sex-workers-donations

Well maybe don’t send Homer to Australia anytime soon! So do we talk more about Iran or do we continue with the fires? Fires? So it turns out that people are dicks! You know the reason why Australia is burning? Well after hearing this news, you’ll probably want Iran to accelerate its’ nuclear program because, not only are people dicks, they’re intentional dicks making a mockery of how much our planet is truly fucked. Bring on the apocalypse! Wait, that’s not the official Top 10 position? Fine.

Police in Australia have arrested and charged two dozen people they say deliberately lit blazes during the wildfire season that has so far killed at least 18 people, destroyed thousands of homes and ravaged over 10 million acres of land.

New South Wales police said that since the beginning of November, 24 people have been charged over allegedly deliberately lighting fires as officers continue to investigate the role that arson has played in the devastation. Starting a wildfire can result in a jail sentence of up to 21 years.

"Investigations into the cause, origin and overall impact of fires are continuing and since the latest State of Emergency was declared...Strike Force Tronto has provided expertise to six police area commands and eight police districts," NSW police said in a statement.

"As inquiries continue, police are appealing to the community to provide footage and/or images from phones, dashcam, or other devices, that show any of the fires in their infancy, even if only from a distance."
https://www.newsweek.com/australia-wildfires-arson-new-south-wales-police-1480733

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Plastic Bag Ban
[br] [/font] [br]

It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines! This is Top 10 Investigates!

Plastic bags and Styrofoam containers may soon be history. In fact since California enacted their plastic bag ban, new states have since joined California in that practice. Those states include New York, Massachusetts, Oregon, and New Jersey, and even Mexico City is now joining in the mix. But just how effective are the plastic bag bans? Do they work? Do they not work? In fact here’s how one town in New Jersey is dealing with the effects of a recently enacted plastic bag ban. And that is, you’d better stock up on your reusable shopping bags, or you’re gonna have a bad time. We learned that her e in California the hard way.

As the village’s single-use plastic bag ban took effect, a local Stop & Shop store rang in the New Year by giving customers free reusable shopping bags.

Ridgewood and neighboring Paramus, Saddle Brook, Glen Rock and Garfield banned single-use plastic bags beginning Wednesday, the result of municipal ordinances that were years in the making.

“It’s really to support the bag ban on single-use bags,” store manager Mike Scolza said of the giveaway. “It’s part of doing business. It’s doing right for the community; it’s doing right for our customers. And I’m just committed to doing the right things.”

Scolza’s store was mostly empty during the first morning of 2020, but some shoppers arrived with reusable bags in tow.

Employees were quick to offer shoppers the free bags emblazoned with the store’s traffic light logo.

“I think it’s a good thing,” customer Kevin O’Connor said of the bag ban as he stood in the checkout line.
https://www.northjersey.com/story/news/environment/2020/01/01/nj-plastic-bag-ban-heres-how-bans-affect-customers/2782644001/

That was the movie “American Beauty”. But in reality the plastic bag bans are reshaping how goods are consumed because now consumers have to think how they’re going to get their packaged goods home after shopping. Take a look at what’s happening in Mexico City, it’s not just forcing customers to purchase reusable bags, some are even finding creative ways to think outside of the box, or bag in this case.

For centuries, Mexico City residents brought warm tortillas home in reusable cloths or woven straw baskets, and toted others foods in conical rolls of paper, “ayate” mesh or net bags, or even string bundles.

People in Mexico's massive capital city may have to return to those old ways, when a new law that took effect Wednesday bans the plastic bags that became ubiquitous over the last 30 years. Some say they are ready and willing, and grocery stores are promising to promote reusable synthetic fiber bags, but others are struggling to get their minds around how the ban will work in practice.

“We have a very rich history in ways to wrap things,” said Claudia Hernández, the city's director of environmental awareness. “We are finding that people are returning to baskets, to cucuruchos,” she said, referring to cone-shaped rolls of paper once used to wrap loose bulk goods like nuts, chips or seeds.

Some Mexico City residents still use traditional ayate bags, or tortilla towels or baskets, and many — especially the elderly — pull two-wheeled, folding shopping baskets through grocery stores. Some merchants still use old sardine cans to measure out bulk goods.
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/latino/mexico-city-s-plastic-bag-ban-takes-effect-some-rethink-n1109436

Don’t try that at home, we’re not encouraging this sort of thing here. But as far as plastic bag bans go, this is one of those things that helps to know before you go. Because otherwise this could very well end in disaster and people could be using more plastic bags than the bans originally sought. And if you don’t have plastic bags ready the next time you go to the store, you will either pay for it or you will regret it later on.

Oregon’s plastic bag ban at grocery stores began on January 1, but it’s still catching many shoppers by surprise.

It’s the state’s latest push in trying to limit single-use plastics. Shoppers are encouraged to bring their own reusable bags to stores. That is still taking some getting use to for some people who were shopping at the Beaverton Fred Meyer on Sunday.

“I don’t really pay attention to it, but I’ve noticed today there’s more people with bags and carts than normally,” said shopper Amanda Fabiano.

“Everybody else was doing it, so only about time we started doing it,” said fellow Fred Meyer shopper Kim Mansley. “Because they do it in California, they do it in Washington.”

The plastic bag bans don’t apply to the smaller produce bags in stores for things like fruits and vegetables. Paper bags are also still available in stores for customers, but those now cost 5 cents per bag.
https://www.koin.com/news/oregon/shoppers-adjusting-to-oregons-plastic-bag-ban/

Well just because everyone does it, well, this is one thing that everyone else does that you should be doing. But what we are saying is be prepared. Because if you don’t that could end very badly for you the next time you’re in the check out line. but going forward this is what we can expect for the new year and ahead in terms of supporting the environment.

When the Maryland legislature reconvenes Jan. 8, legislators of both parties say they will continue the battle against climate change.

Some of their plans are much more aggressive than others.

Del. Brooke Lierman, a Baltimore Democrat, said she will sponsor a plastic bag ban in the next session and ask for a study of other single-use plastics, such as food utensils and water bottles.

Lierman said Marylanders can unlearn their dependence on plastic. “The phenomenon of single-use bags is very new,” Lierman said. “We have to take steps to reduce the demand for plastic.”

A generation ago, she said, people didn’t use plastic bags, but now, people have become dependent. And it’s not just bags. “Our behavior has changed to accommodate and to expect a plastic fork to be available wherever we are,” she said. If plastic utensils such as forks are banned, “I am confident that we will all adjust very easily.”
https://wtop.com/maryland/2020/01/plastic-bag-ban-green-agriculture-and-zero-waste-maryland-lawmakers-climate-plans-for-2020-session/

That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Holy Shit
[br] [/font] [br]

Gather around my fair brothers and sisters of Palo Alto! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:



My fair congregation!! I am back and rested and ready to go for the new year that is 2020. Now, the question I have on the table for you is that you ever notice that the people who are the ones who tell celebrities that they should stay out of politics are the ones who make everything about politics? I say this as someone who says that the unholy, ungodly Dark One, whose name shall not be spoken in my church, currently occupies the White House! Now when you cross people who don’t get the Bible with people who don’t get the Constitution of these great United States, you get followers of the prophecy known as Q Anon. But what does the almighty GAWD have to do with the Q Anon prophecy? Well let’s let them explain.

The Internet has made it easier than ever before to evangelize on behalf of a conspiracy theory. But this week, the missionaries for QAnon used their physical bodies to spread the word, with T-shirts and a paper sign, “We are Q,” aimed at the cameras covering President Trump’s campaign rally.

People noticed, including journalists. The signs became mainstream news, and the news of QAnon spread. On Reddit’s “Great Awakening” discussion board, devoted to QAnon and its supporters, a user wrote, “QAnon is finally trending on Twitter!”

QAnon is as convoluted as any other conspiracy theory out there but with one distinguishing feature: QAnon is the result of a twisted sort of optimism. It gives the people who believe in the Internet conspiracy hope that a reckoning is about to hit.

The layers of the conspiracy go like this: Take your standard Democratic pedophilia ring and world-domination fantasy, but that’s only the base, like the crust of a pizza. Onto this, you layer a fantasy in which President Trump, while posing as a flailing president in public, is secretly orchestrating a crackdown on the entire cabal. Trump is working behind the scenes with special counsel Robert S. Mueller III, whose real federal investigation is aimed at the Clintons. Trump has loyalists spread through the U.S. intelligence agencies, which are otherwise dens of the cabal. The crackdown is imminent. It’s always imminent, and it will be glorious.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-intersect/wp/2018/08/01/how-qanon-the-conspiracy-theory-spawned-by-a-trump-quip-got-so-big-and-scary/

?itemid=14008107

Conspiracy theorists are an odd bunch and they definitely fit right in with religion. But what has the Q prophecy been doing lately to establish their street cred?



[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: World War III….?
[br] [/font] [br]



Oh calm the fuck down people, it’s not World War III yet! Yeah sure, Trump may have ordered an airstrike on an Iranian leader and his entourage after he was getting off a flight in Baghdad, but is the proverbial shit about to hit the fan? Is it really? Well this is one of those instances where we really need to take a step back and pull our collective heads out of each other’s asses. War hasn’t been declared, at least not yet. But social media saw this as the second coming of the apocalypse if you believe end times conspiracy theorists. And nobody should believe them. Because really at this point the only other people who believe conspiracy theorists are well, other conspiracy theorists. And that’s where it gets crazy.

World War III rapidly became one of the top trending topics on Twitter after last night’s announcement that a U.S. airstrike killed Iran’s top general.

While a war on that scale is unlikely, according to experts, the actions put the U.S. on a new path of escalation.

The airstrike in Baghdad, Iraq, killed Gen. Qassem Soleimani, who was the leader of Iran’s elite Quds Force. In confirming that the U.S. was behind the attack, the Department of Defense said in response that the 62-year-old was “actively developing plans to attack American diplomats and service members in Iraq and throughout the region.”

Iran’s State TV has since reported that the United States has urged Americans to leave Iraq “immediately.”

That warning in and of itself is an answer to the danger that exists, said Trita Parsi, executive vice president of the Quincy Institute for Responsible Statecraft, a policy think tank.
https://www.mcclatchydc.com/news/nation-world/world/article238940155.html

Whoa, hey, calm down man! At least let’s consult the guy in charge to see what he thinks about whether or not we started World War III? Well, we didn’t start it, we may have actually prevented it! At least that’s what Commander In Chief Shit-For-Brains has to say about the subject! If it was to prevent a war, then why are we sending troops over to Iraq and why are people suddenly worried about a draft?

With Iran proving an alarming threat on the world stage, which countries are considered the most dangerous of all?

Medical and travel security services company International SOS has revealed the top riskiest countries in the world for this year.

Although Iran itself is not high on the list, many of the dangerous countries are in the Middle East, as well as Africa.

International SOS looks at both medical risk and security risk for travel.

“The travel security risk rating evaluates the threat posed to travellers and international assignees by political violence (including terrorism, insurgency, politically motivated unrest and war), social unrest (including sectarian, communal and ethnic violence) as well as violent and petty crime,” explained the company.

“Other factors, such as the robustness of the transport infrastructure, the state of industrial relations, the effectiveness of the security and emergency services and the country’s susceptibility to natural disasters are also considered where they are of sufficient magnitude to impact the overall risk environment for travellers.
https://www.express.co.uk/travel/articles/1223549/iran-world-war-3-ww3-most-dangerous-countries-iranian-general-killed-fco-travel-advice

Of course there’s travel advisories going into Iraq! I mean come on, who wouldn’t want to vacation in Baghdad right now? Such a great, stable region that is welcoming to outsiders! And come on, visit there and you’ll even be treated to a nightly fireworks show! At your own risk of course! But is it OK to joke about World War III? Sure, the Trump administration is providing plenty of fodder for comedians, but where’s the outrage? Remember the Joker’s speech in the Dark Knight or George Carlin’s monologue about how you can joke about anything? Yeah it’s kind of like that.

When something terrible happens in current affairs, people often take to social media to despair.

And, in the Internet age of memes and viral content, for some people that includes sharing jokes online.

That’s what happened today when Iran’s most powerful military commander, General Qasem Soleimani, was killed by a US military airstrike, drastically escalating tensions between Iran and America.

After the news broke, jokes about the risk of not only impending war, but World War Three, came in thick and fast.

However, others have called out these jokes, saying that the history of US warfare in the Middle East and the potential devastation is no laughing matter.

This has ignited a debate about whether comedy about such topics is off-limits, with some people defending the right to make jokes.
https://www.indy100.com/article/world-war-3-iran-us-general-killed-qassem-soleimani-9269406

OK so let’s recap. In a span of 24 hours, we went from figuring out whether or not we’re going to ignite World War III, to figuring out whether or not we should make jokes about whether or not it’s socially acceptable to joke about World War III. Social media, you got to love it. And speaking of social media, here’s where things get really crazy. you don’t want to fuck with the war machine and the conservative blood lust right now is out of control. Well, all we can say is don’t buy into the hate machine!

An airstrike ordered by President Donald Trump killed Iranian Gen. Qassem Soleimani early Friday, escalating a simmering conflict between the US and Iran that had flared up after an American contractor was killed in Iraq in late December.

The decision to kill Soleimani, who was one of the most powerful people in Iran and directed bloody conflicts around the Middle East, followed a New Year's Eve attack on the US embassy in Baghdad by an Iran-backed militia. Iranian officials vowed revenge for Soleimani's death, and the US is reportedly sending 3,000 more troops to the region.

The attack threw social media punditry into overdrive and sent unverified or bogus information flying around the internet.

This being 2020, though, many people took these dire predictions — it's World War III! — and did what any sensible person with an internet connection would do: channeled their existential dread into memes.

As one TikTok user asked: "Do you fuck with the war?"
https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/otilliasteadman/world-war-memes-tiktok-trump-iran-draft-jokes

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]This Fucking Guy: Edward Gallagher
[br] [/font] [br]



This week’s This Fucking Guy is a rising star among the Trump faithful and that’s a guy that he personally pardoned, Edward Gallagher. Whew, this fucking guy. Is it any wonder why he received a Trump pardon? There’s no one who loves getting his ass kissed more than Trump does, and if you write anything flattering about him, he’ll pardon you even for the most horrifying crimes possible. And never mind that when you do receive a pardon, you don’t get off the hook for it! So what did Gallagher do that was so horrible? Well not only did he murder Iraqi children, well, he also posed with the bodies of the deceased. Yeah that’s a bad guy. But apparently a good guy in Trump’s eyes because Trump sees bad as good. Just how horrible is this guy?

Over the weekend, President Trump hosted disgraced former Navy SEAL Eddie Gallagher at his residence in Mar-a-Lago. According to photos posted on Instagram, Gallagher and his wife Andrea met with the president, along with First Lady Melania Trump, and presented him with a gift from his deployment in Mosul, Iraq. It’s not clear what the gift was.

Gallagher certainly owes Trump some gratitude. In 2018, based on the testimony of members of his unit, the platoon chief was charged with stabbing an unarmed teenage ISIS prisoner, posing for a photo with his corpse, and shooting random Iraqi civilians including an old man and a young girl. He denied the charges. After Gallagher’s case was taken up by several of Trump’s allies in Congress and Fox News commentators, Trump repeatedly intervened in the trial.

The president lambasted the prosecution, and ordered that Gallagher be moved from pretrial detention to house arrest. Gallagher was acquitted of most of the charges after a bizarre trial which included surprise testimony from a key witness who, after being granted immunity from prosecution, said he had been the one to kill the teenager. Gallagher was convicted of posing for a photo with the detainee’s corpse and sentenced to time served. Trump then reversed a decision to demote Gallagher after the conviction and prevented the Navy from removing his Trident pin, a badge of honor for the elite SEALs. Navy secretary Richard Spencer objected to the special treatment of Gallagher and was subsequently asked to resign last month.

Gallagher appears well on the way to a second career on the right-wing celebrity circuit if he wants it. He and his wife were in Florida to attend a summit hosted by the right-wing student group, Turning Point USA. In another Instagram photo, Gallagher poses with Donald Trump Jr. at the event.
https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2019/12/gallagher-navy-seal-war-crimes-trump-mar-a-lago.html

Well, obviously. But let’s go over the rules of the pardon. Just because Trump pardoned a guy doesn’t mean that he’s off the hook. And while he could have pardoned Gallagher for one particular crime doesn’t mean that he’s not completely exonerated. But of course Trump fans won’t know that, instead they only see it as Trump can do no wrong. Or can he?

Never-before-seen confidential video reveals shocking details from the war crimes investigation of a decorated Navy SEAL. In interviews obtained by The New York Times'"The Weekly," members of SEAL Team 7 said they witnessed Special Operations Chief Edward Gallagher stabbing a young ISIS fighter for no reason.

The SEALs call Gallagher "toxic," "evil" and a man who was "perfectly OK with killing anybody that was moving," reports CBS News correspondent David Martin.

"I think he just wants to kill anybody he can," one said.

The testimony paints a chilling pattern of violence executed by their platoon chief.

"Did Eddie say anything when he did this or did he just literally pull out a knife and just start stabbing him?" one SEAL was asked.

"He just pulled out a knife and started stabbing him," he replied.
https://www.cbsnews.com/amp/news/edward-gallagher-members-of-navy-seal-team-7-say-chief-committed-war-crimes-in-interviews-with-investigators/

Holy shit this is one evil dude. And I mean really we can’t make any references that would make this funny, so we’re not going to go there. Really, he’s the bad guy. Thank you random audience member, duh! Timing is the key to comedy. But seriously even his superiors that turned him in say that Edward Gallagher is one really bad dude. You really can’t get much more evil than random stabbing, and I’ve seen Barry. But Edward Gallagher is no Barry, Barry has charisma. Edward Gallagher is just an evil asshole with a murderous complex. Which really shows you who the right loves.

A Navy Seal platoon leader controversially cleared of war crimes by Donald Trump was a “toxic” character who was “OK with killing anything that moved”, according to fellow Iraq veterans who reported his conduct to military investigators.

The explosive testimony was published Friday by the New York Times, which obtained previously unseen video interviews and text messages from several former members of an elite commando unit once led by special operations chief Eddie Gallagher.

Gallagher was convicted in July of posing with the dead body of a teenage Islamic State captive he had just killed with a hunting knife. He was granted clemency by the president in November in a decision that angered military chiefs.

In the interviews, conducted by navy investigators looking into Gallagher’s conduct during a tour of duty in Iraq in 2017, fellow platoon members told of a ruthless leader who stabbed the captive to death for no reason then forced his troops to pose for a photograph with the corpse.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2019/dec/27/eddie-gallagher-trump-navy-seal-iraq

Well obviously. So the right loves them some murderers, criminals and crooks. Which makes Edward Gallagher the perfect candidate to join their ranks. But this might be my favorite part of the whole thing – you know what he’s using his newfound fame for? To hawk merchandise! Yes, he’s using his presidential pardon to hawk his lifestyle brand! OMG, this couldn’t get any better!

The New York Times reported on Tuesday that Gallagher appears to have embraced the branding opportunities that come with his increased public profile by launching a clothing collaboration and endorsing nutrition supplements and coffee.

The collaboration, called Salty Frog Gear, includes T-shirts, sweatshirts, and drinkware consisting of a branded whiskey glass and a decanter.

Gallagher has escalated his move into branding since the case, which turned him into a conservative figure who has appeared on Fox News.

He has collaborated with two other clothing brands on two T-shirts that say "Free Eddie." Other T-shirts say "In a world full of mean girls be a Gallagher." He has also endorsed products on his Instagram account with his wife.

Gallagher was charged after his fellow SEALs accused of him of fatally stabbing a young ISIS fighter his team was treating medically in 2017. He posed for a picture with the dead body.

A military jury in July acquitted Gallagher of most of the charges, except for posing with the body, leading to his demotion within the Navy from chief petty officer to petty officer first class.
https://www.businessinsider.com/navy-seal-edward-gallagher-lifestyle-brand-after-war-crime-acquittal-2020-1

Woooohooo!!! Got me a presidential pardon, now time to go hawk some t-shirts and crappy nutritional supplements! That’s Edward Gallagher – this week’s This Fucking Guy.




[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
[br] [/font] [br]

Hit it!

Hey everyone it’s our first new People Are Dumb of the year! Of course you know by now that people are people, and people are dumb. Of course we’ve been off for a few weeks so we missed all the Christmas and New Years fails. I always love People Are Dumb stories and I feel like during the holidays people are extra dumb. Especially on New Year’s when you combine copious amounts of alcohol with people shooting guns wildly in the air. When that happens, you know deep down that something bad and/or stupid is taking place. To start with, let’s start with this weird story out of Oklahoma. I mean seriously? We’re only 4 hours into the calendar year that is 2020 but yeah let’s let the story do the talking!

SAND SPRINGS, Okla. — A man stole a pickup truck with a sleeping passenger and a goat inside it and drove it all the way from Missouri to Oklahoma before releasing the terrified victim and animal and eventually being arrested, authorities say.

According to an arrest report, two men in the truck parked outside of an adult video store in Carthage, Missouri, early Wednesday. The driver went inside the store and the passenger fell asleep. When the passenger awoke, a masked man was driving the truck and pointing a gun at his head, Tulsa TV station KOTV reported.

The carjacking suspect, 40-year-old Brandon Kirby, drove from Missouri through Kansas. During the 130-mile ordeal, Kirby took methamphetamine, pistol-whipped the victim and continually threatened him, according to the arrest report. He was eventually arrested in Sand Springs, Oklahoma, after he let the passenger and the goat out of the truck and the victim called 911, the Oklahoma Highway Patrol said.

The Sand Springs Police Department said on Facebook: “OK 2020, it only took you 4.5 hours to get weird. Let's slow down on the carjacking-goatnapping calls for the remainder of the year.”
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/man-goat-taken-terrifying-three-state-drive-after-carjacking-n1109511

Oh come on of course things are going to get weird when you get meth and a gun involved. Because we are the country that is dedicated to making sure that idiots get guns. And speaking of idiots with guns, we go to America’s most penis-shaped state, Florida. Yes, Florida never ceases to bring the crazy extra hard and they’re the one state that is making sure that the most idiots get the most guns. Which is when you get stories like this.

Police say a Florida man was "playing cowboy" when he accidentally shot himself. Instead of ending simply in embarrassment, however, the incident ended with the man in handcuffs because he's not legally allowed to own a gun. Police say Matthew Noffsinger Jr., 36, is a convicted felon and as such is prohibited from possessing firearms.

When they questioned him at the hospital early Saturday, he initially claimed he had been "shot by an unknown subject" while in a wooded area. But since the entry and exit wounds went straight down his leg and were not consistent with that story, WFLA reports, police kept pushing until, they say, Noffsinger admitted what really happened.

Police found the .22 revolver that was involved at the scene of the shooting. Police say they also searched Noffsinger's backpack and found a wallet with four credit cards and an ID card that didn't belong to him; he allegedly admitted he found them and that they weren't his.

He was arrested and charged with felon in possession of a firearm and possession of personal information of four people, a felony and a misdemeanor respectively. If convicted, he could face up to 15 years behind bars or a $10,000 fine.

https://www.newser.com/story/284483/guy-playing-cowboy-shoots-himself-gets-arrested.html

Well, definitely compensating for something! Next up, we go to Texas. See, here’s the thing – young boys like to light things on fire. And I say this since I was one at one point. But that said, even if you’re playing with something as innocent as a magnifying glass, you should do so with adult supervision, because if there’s not a fire extinguisher handy, things could end very badly.

(CNN) - A Christmas present landed a pair of Texas boys in hot water after it helped set their front lawn on fire.

The Parsons got their 12-year-old son a magnifying glass for Christmas, assuming it would be used for reading.

Instead, the boy and his brother used it to burn some newspapers. Moments later, they came running in to report the lawn was on fire.

The whole family sprang into action, using water hoses, sprinklers and blankets to snuff the flames

No one was injured.
https://www.kcrg.com/content/news/Boys-light-lawn-on-fire-with-magnifying-glass-he-got-for-Christmas-566602101.html

Yeah you should probably lead with “no one was injured” next time! Next up – we go back to the Sunshine State, and I love seeing stories of when people go batshit crazy at fast food restaurants. I mean give me a story about a guy who pulls a gun because McDonalds ran out of chicken nuggets and I’m in faster than a McDonalds commercial airs! And this particularly story centers around a guy who took Burger King’s slogan of “have it your way” just a little too literally!

Two Burger King employees were attacked yesterday by a Grubhub deliveryman who “became agitated when informed that his order was not ready for pick up,” according to police reports.

Investigators say that Daniel Delellis, 43, arrived at a Burger King in Clearwater, Florida around 5:20 PM Saturday to “pick up an order” for Grubhub, the online food ordering business.

But when told he would have to wait for the order, Delellis allegedly walked outside and picked up a “3 foot in height hard plastic ash tray” and swung it at the restaurant’s front doors. Delellis, seen at right, then struck a male employee in the chest with the ash tray.

When a 20-year-old female worker told Delellis that he had to leave the property, Delellis allegedly “swung his left hand and struck the victim on the right cheek leaving a red mark,” according to cops.
https://www.democraticunderground.com/110317363

Finally this week – you know sometime we really need to do a special all guns edition of People Are Dumb because there’s a lot of idiots with guns out there. And one place you probably shouldn’t be packing heat? A Victoria’s Secret. I mean unless the thought of guns and hot women in skimpy lingerie turns you on, whatever floats your boat!

A local man is recovering from a self-inflicted gunshot wound he suffered inside a Saginaw Township lingerie store.

About 3 p.m. on Friday, Dec. 27, police responded to reports of a gunshot at the Victoria’s Secret store inside the Fashion Square Mall, according to Saginaw Township Police Chief Donald F. Pussehl Jr.

A 29-year-old man shopping at the store was putting his wallet back into his pocket when a handgun also in the pocket discharged, Pussehl said.

The man suffered a non-life-threatening wound to his leg. He was taken to a local hospital for treatment. No one else was injured.

The man had a concealed pistol license and the gun was registered to him, Pussehl said. The chief added a detective sergeant will review the matter on Monday morning to determine if it will be assigned to a detective for further investigation and review by the Saginaw County Prosecutor’s Office.
https://www.mlive.com/news/saginaw-bay-city/2019/12/man-accidentally-shoots-himself-at-victorias-secret.html?fbclid=IwAR30tyA52AinqTGRR4Vpy-5aou3Ce7Qil7vzv-T_P_fhoKm6N7YtFGEjeMk

That’s it this week for:

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Keeping Up With The Candidates Ep. 18: The Dropouts
[br] [/font] [br]



Welcome back to our 2020 Voters’ Guide, Keeping Up With The Candidates! Hey we can’t say that we’re monitoring next year’s election because next year’s election is now this year’s election! Yes, we are moving stead fast into the 2020 election. Iowa is just four weeks away. Holy shit, when I started the Top 10, it was the 2016 election. Never did I think this thing would last a whole presidential term! Anyway, when we left off last year, we were telling you why you should be deeply concerned about the British election results. But the choices of candidates are getting narrower and narrower. This week we’re going to take a look at the two most recent dropouts of the campaign – current New York City mayor Bill DeBlasio and Texas Rep. Julian Castro. But really you were probably asking yourself “Wait – these guys were running?”. And really we don’t have a funny answer for that.

Julián Castro, the former housing secretary who was the only Latino candidate in the Democratic primary, said Thursday he would end his bid for the presidency, capping a yearlong campaign where he struggled in polls but remained a policy pacesetter on immigration and fighting poverty.

Throughout his campaign, Mr. Castro, 45, a native of San Antonio who spent five years as its mayor, portrayed himself as an unapologetic liberal who was shaped by his humble beginnings and had been overlooked by the press. Though he created some memorable moments as he championed progressive policy and challenged his rivals on the campaign trail, Mr. Castro did not catch on with voters and was unable to break into the upper tier of a crowded primary field. His exit is the latest departure of a candidate of color from a field that began as the most racially diverse ever in a Democratic primary.

“I’ve determined that it simply isn’t our time,” Mr. Castro said in a nearly four-minute video message released by his campaign, which included a montage from his year on the trail, including visits to the border and a homeless encampment in Oakland. “Today it’s with a heavy heart, and profound gratitude, that I will suspend my campaign for president.”

“I’ve determined that it simply isn’t our time,” Mr. Castro said in a nearly four-minute video message released by his campaign, which included a montage from his year on the trail, including visits to the border and a homeless encampment in Oakland. “Today it’s with a heavy heart, and profound gratitude, that I will suspend my campaign for president.”
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/01/02/us/politics/julian-castro-dropping-out.html

Yeah that may be, it looks like it’s going to be another round of aging white men. Yes, I saw that Adam Sandler sketch from last year. But what is it going to take for us to break out of that mold? We elect one black guy to the presidency and half the damn country loses their minds! And for most of these people, that’s not really much of a stretch. But now that that has been said, what is Julian’s next step?

Former Housing and Urban Development Secretary Julian Castro endorsed Sen. Elizabeth Warren for president on Monday, days after dropping out of the Democratic primary race.

“There’s one candidate I see who’s unafraid to fight like hell to make sure America’s promise will be there for everyone. Who will make sure that no matter where you live in America or where your family came from in the world, you will have a path for opportunity to,” Castro said in a video posted to Twitter.

“That’s why I’m proud to endorse Elizabeth Warren for president,” he said.

Castro left the race on Tuesday after lagging in the polls and failing to keep up with rivals’ fundraising efforts. He consistently polled below 2% in national surveys.

The progressive former Obama Cabinet secretary did roll out a slate of ambitious policy proposals, some that inspired other candidates to address topics that were otherwise unlikely to come up.
https://www.cnbc.com/2020/01/06/julian-castro-endorses-elizabeth-warren-after-quitting-2020-race.html

Woohoo, now we’re talking! Switching gears, we’re going to talk about the mayor of New York, Bill DeBlasio, and why his campaign failed. Was it because he sold out quickly? No. Was it because he was using NYPD officers to provide security? Probably. Or was it because New York City mayors have famously bailed on campaigns going all the way back to the 1920s? Ding ding ding!!!

Dozens of diesel-engine trucks belching exhaust travel 150 miles north of New York City, hauling tons of construction debris as they roll past clapboard houses toward a sprawling landfill that towers over this 3.3-square-mile city. On the other side of the dump on a chilly November morning, a few hundred yards from the stench of rotten eggs, children begin filing into the local school complex.

This scene is the consequence of New York City’s failure to contain its trash.

Two consecutive mayors of the city launched their presidential bids last year on a promise of combating climate change, yet neither was able to stem the tide of garbage flooding the nation’s largest metropolis. Bill de Blasio, the current mayor whose national campaign lasted four months, and Mike Bloomberg, his predecessor who began his White House bid in November, both fell short of ambitious recycling and waste reduction goals that other major American cities have realized.

And for nearly two decades, New York City has entirely outsourced its trash burden to other communities across the country.
https://www.politico.com/news/2020/01/06/bloomberg-de-blasio-new-york-garbage-088805

Oh come on, at the very least we can round up all the city’s trash and hurl it into the sun. So I get all of my solutions from animated shows. Sue me. But let’s go back to that security thing, that is something that could be a problem for Bill down the road. Maybe that’s why he bailed? Because that could be a serious problem for both him and the NYPD down the road.

A probe is examining the cost to taxpayers of Mayor de Blasio’s use of an NYPD security detail during his failed presidential campaign, sources tell the Daily News.

The city Department of Investigation is gathering documentation of expenses run up by de Blasio’s taxpayer-funded NYPD Executive Protection Unit during his short-lived quest for the White House, including hotel stays, meals, gasoline and travel, as well as the salaries, per diems and overtime of cops who made trips to primary states like Iowa, Nevada and South Carolina, sources say.

The News spoke to three sources closely familiar with Executive Protection Unit operations. All agreed that the cost of the detail on the much-ridiculed five-month campaign likely exceeded $1 million. A City Hall official strongly disputed that calculation. A calculation by news outlet The City estimated the cost was more than $200,000.

The de Blasio campaign spent $1,374,236, none of which went to repay the city for security expenses, according to records filed with the Federal Election Commission.
https://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/ny-mayor-nypd-detail-doi-probe-20191216-3kmkiftw5bbydnr7konfsf4ife-story.html

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

Next week we’re going to poll some of your favorite candidates and where they stand on a possible war with Iran. Controversy alert!!



[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Anti-Flag[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my first guest of 2020 has a new album coming out on Jan. 17th called “2020 Vision”, you can see them on tour through May 30th including a stop at the Punk Rock Bowling festival in Vegas on May 30th. Playing their song “Hate Conquers All”, give it up for Anti-Flag!

Thank you Syracuse! This was fun! We are off to Amherst, MA and the University Of Massachusetts next! See you next week!

Credits

Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: Houston Improv, Houston, TX
Special Thanks To: Improv Group
Holy Shit Gospel Choir: UCLA Choir Club, Westwood, CA
Images: All images copyright belongs to respective copyright holders.
Videos: All videos copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Articles: All article content copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Writing: Top 10 Writing Department
Graphics: Top 10 Graphics Department
Research: Top 10 Research Department
Lighting & Stage Props: Top 10 Lighting Department
Legal: Top 10 Legal Department
Advertising: Top 10 Advertising Department
HR: Top 10 Human Resources Department
Initech’s Wardrobe Provided By: JAB Inc.
Wheel Of Corruption By: Studio 1 Stage Props, Burbank, CA
Anti-Flag Appear Courtesy Of: Universal Music Group
Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management
Follow The Top 10 On Twitter at: @10Idiots
New! Follow The Holy Church Of The Top 10 On Twitter: @churchoftop10
Questions? Comments? Complaints? Hate mail? E-mail The Top 10 at: [e-mail]


Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo