The Santorum Baby Controversy
http://www.boomantribune.com/story/2012/1/6/92811/35480The Santorum Baby Controversy
by BooMan
Fri Jan 6th, 2012 at 09:28:11 AM EST
In general, people who criticize the Santorum family for bringing their stillborn baby home to meet the kids are going to look worse than the family they are criticizing. The gruesome facts of this case don't matter. If you're envisioning a fully-formed baby, don't. If you've ever had a 20-week ultrasound where the doctor either found or did not find a penis, then you know what got brought home for the kids. Instead of a printout, something far more disturbing was distributed. But I am going to be savagely honest about this both for the critics and for the Santorums. The loss of a pregnancy at any stage of development is (or should be) the most intensely private thing that can possibly happen. It's so private, in fact, that I could never discuss my experiences beyond merely saying that I've had them. I've had them, and I learned one thing above all from the experiences. No one has the right, not even your closest loved ones, to inquire into the circumstances or details of your personal tragedy. I can think of nothing crueler than to ask questions about why a pregnancy was lost. If you've experienced a spontaneous abortion or an ectopic pregnancy, you will understand the need for a right to privacy. Nothing else could make that case for you in such a compelling and convincing manner.
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This is why the legality of abortion is inseparable from the right to privacy. Even a society that held that abortion is morally wrong, would have to also hold that putting any burden on parents who have suffered a miscarriage is even more wrong. What's sad is that the Santorums didn't learn this lesson from their tragedy. What they did instead was to make their tragedy as public as possible and use their experience as a way to advocate for the mistreatment of others in their same situation.
How we balance the rights of a woman and the rights of a fetus is morally complicated, and different people will come to different conclusions. But, legally, anyone who has gone through what the Santorums went through, should be able to agree that the state has no legitimate role in making any inquiries of any kind.
= new reply since forum marked as read
his experience, but I don't know that getting so personal about his family's tragedy benefits anyone. 
He's was just being true to his morals 
Yes, he was full-term, but I personally don't think it's for us to judge at what stage of development parents can bond when they are expecting.
I've only been able to glance at GD since there have been so many threads about this and the comments and OPs are not only offensive, they're sickening. And some of the people doing it have really surprised me.
Just as I don't want bible thumper types judging me and my choices, I am not judging this. It doesn't appear they politicized this event; they're sharing their story and their opinion. Sure I disagree with their views on right to life, but for anyone to criticize this very personal experience and how they handled it is the height of arrogant ignorance, imho.
I agree with the author of the OP: It's really one of those things that I don't believe anyone should be judging or ridiculing unless you've experienced the loss of a child.
I held my "rotting fetus" as one OP proclaimed -- because his skin had indeed started to decompose after only two days after his heartbeat stopped, before delivery -- and I did NOT want to let him go. I would have held him for a solid day and night if the hospital would have allowed.
If I would have had other children at the time, I would have encouraged (but not forced) them to see Joshua.
Grieving is a very individual process.
There are a ton of DUers being heartless shitheads about this.
I don't say this often or lightly, but unless you've experienced the birth and death of a child, I strongly advise people to shut the fuck up.
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for the kind words.
One can speak to this pragmatically if you have never experienced it. For those who (sadly) HAVE, it is a far different matter.
I am sorry for your loss. I'm sorry for the pain you are re-experiencing from the insensitive discussions.
and the hypocrisy is what always gets to me as well.
It's fair to criticize his views and stance about issues, but for people to very specifically be ridiculing how the family personally handled this intimate event -- and to be doing so in such a callous manner -- is what I find so disturbing.
No, I hadn't noticed your posts about this, vankuria; I stopped reading early on.
But I hear you, and thank you for the reply.
I can't even begin to imagine...
