In case you missed the Madman's presser, here's the skinny:

[Tommy_Carcetti]

Trump walks to Podium.

*Dow falls 200 points*

Trump: "Here's this woman with a cool looking flow chart. Isn't it nice?"

*Dow rises 1,000 points*

Trump: "Here's Mike Pence who will now talk how great I am for 15 minutes"

*Dow closes*

Trump: "Well, we don't have actually have a deal with Congress. Also, I don't care that I was shaking hands with someone with the virus. Also you are all nasty for asking me questions."

*Dow shrugs, says, "Well, at least the flow chart looked cool."*

[SCantiGOP]

1. You need to add between every line

------And it wasn't my fault!-----

He actually used the line, "No, I don't take responsibility" in response to a question.

[PatSeg]

7. And whole lot of

tremendous..........incredible...........tremendous............incredible. We're so great and Obama was a failure.........Democrats suck.

[KY_EnviroGuy]

2. Thank you for saving me from losing my lunch.

I like the way you roll it up into a nut shell.

KY........

[Newest Reality]

3. Oh and,

Lots of commercials!

The commercial break was a segment of PR and advertising for major corporations. Free, or did we pay for that? I think the message is that privatization with shock and awe is what we should now expect as we are conditioned to do so.

Motto: "Got virus? Corporate America to the Rescue!"

[uppityperson]

4. You forgot to add "lies" every other word

[Brainfodder]

5. The sheer quantity of the praise parade should not be minimized?

Too much vague and/or no answer BS, SSDD on that.

[Squinch]

6. Futures back down to minus 73. So, perfect summary.

[2naSalit]

8. As soon as it started, I left for the grocery store

where for the first time it looked like the first Friday after the nearby National Park opens. There wasn't a shopping cart available. Eventually someone brought one back in from the Parking lot and I got it. I just wanted a few gallons of water, half for the humidifier in my furnace. And a couple things I forgot the other day. None of which were paper products.

When I got back from that expedition, all while a blizzard is trying get here, that asshole was STILL talking!

I figured someone would post the the main points for those of us who couldn't deal with it.

[HarlanPepper]

9. And here's the sequel

Markets rally, then it’ll be nothing but bad news piled on all weekend as the infections rise. By Monday morning it’ll be another market blood bath.

[kurtcagle]

13. Reminds me of an old car with a bad gasket leak

At one point when I was especially down on my luck, I had an old Subaru Forester - great car, but with 220K+ miles on it that had reached a point where it was leaking out more oil than I was putting gas into the gas tank. Fill the oil, the car worked pretty well, but by the time I'd driven it for any duration, it just got worse and worse. Eventually, I bought a new car, problem solved.

We need a new car.

[HarlanPepper]

14. Great comparison

And you are right. We need a new car.

[WyattKansas]

10. I had to quit watching, but it seemed like he was trying to congradulate himself...

For organizing and mobilizing the country in record time that was more bigly than WWII.
I came back in time to see him singling out key personnel and industry leaders to kiss the Orange Anus.

Does that about sum it up?

[Ilsa]

11. "It's nasty to ask me about closing down the

GLOBAL PANDEMIC RESPONSE TEAM two years ago."

[crickets]

12. +1, and three guesses whether the journalist asking the question was female.

Nasty women, unite!

[Ilsa]

15. Oh yes, it was a black woman!

Yamiche Alcindor of PBS. So naturally, he thinks he has to put her in her place.

[dmr]

16. I'm nasty too -- I was happy she asked and framed her question that way. Oh! And

I forget the name of the MSNBC reporter (another nasty female) asked him about what he did to the CDC, and he tried to blame President Obama, but he cut her off when she said "but, you've had 3 years ...".

Asshole didn't like that. I sure did!

These questions are nothing compared with how the press goes after any other president. Hold their feet to the fire ... the president works for us, not for himself, dammit!

Nasty Women Unite!