Borowitz: Dr. Fauci Says He Has No Idea Who Locked Jared Kushner in Bathroom

[ehrnst]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Dr. Anthony Fauci said on Tuesday that he had “no idea” who locked Jared Kushner in a White House bathroom.

Fielding a question at the daily briefing by the Coronavirus Task Force, the esteemed virologist said that it was most likely “a regrettable accident” that resulted in Donald J. Trump’s son-in-law being trapped in the bathroom for nine hours.

“Doors get locked by mistake all the time,” Fauci said.

When a reporter pointed out that the bathroom door had been locked from the outside with a padlock, Fauci replied, “Whoa. That’s a different kettle of fish. I had not heard that. Padlock? That’s crazy.”

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/dr-fauci-says-he-has-no-idea-who-locked-jared-kushner-in-bathroom

[sheshe2]

1. Some children...

Some children take longer to be potty trained than others.

He is after all:

anal-retentive
[anal-retentive]

ADJECTIVE
(of a person) excessively orderly and fussy (supposedly owing to conflict over toilet-training in infancy).
NOUN
(anal retentive)
a person who is excessively orderly and fussy.

Just saying.

[Bernardo de La Paz]

6. If tRump was anal-expulsive he'd be a husk. . . . nt

[UTUSN]

2. SHITLER is oddly calm, so...

[Gidney N Cloyd]

3. At least he was safe from swirlies.

[Gothmog]

4. I love good satire

[crickets]

11. *nods* I adore Borowitz, and everybody needs the occasional humor break these days...

especially when it's scathing satire ripping on the White House Sociopaths.

[rurallib]

5. sheltering in place

[Rebl2]

9. Good one

😆😆😆😆

[Dem2theMax]

10. Not fair to make me laugh so hard!

[lindysalsagal]

7. Possibly something Jared became accustomed to

In his











Childhood?









Marriage?

[smirkymonkey]

8. ROFL!

Could have been Trump. He's not on his good side lately.