The first lines of 10 classic novels, rewritten for social distancing.

[geardaddy]

Last edited Wed Mar 18, 2020, 02:37 PM - Edit history (1)

https://lithub.com/the-first-lines-of-10-classic-novels-rewritten-for-social-distancing/

Of course, books can be a balm in these terrifying times—but as the surge in sales of plague-related literature reveals, sometimes all we want to read are books that speak directly to our terrifying times. Well, friends, with a little elbow great, any book can be a coronavirus book. Behold: the first lines of 10 classic novels, rewritten for these times of social distancing.

The Bell Jar
It was a queer, pandemic spring, the spring they cancelled all the orgies, and I didn’t know what I was doing in New York.

The Great Gatsby
In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since. “Whenever you feel like going to a restaurant,” he told me, “just remember there are people in this world whose immune systems haven’t had all the advantages yours has had.”

Moby-Dick
FaceTime me, Ishmael.

The rest at link.



Add yours!

[jls4561]

1. You left out the best one:

Pride and Prejudice
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be hoarding toilet paper.

[geardaddy]

2. LOL

[ExciteBike66]

3. Happy families are all alike. Unhappy families stay at least 6 feet from each other...

[edhopper]

4. It was the worst of times.

[geardaddy]

5. ...

He was an old man who fished alone in a skiff in the Gulf Stream and he had gone eighty-four days now without using toilet paper.