Ok, my Trump voting sister called me today.

[Texaswitchy]

I did pick up but told her I was to busy working in the garden to talk.

She is worried about her sick husband and food.

I told her you should have thought about that before voting for Trump..

No feeling for people like me sister.

Voting matters.

[ansible]

1. You're abandoning your family over Trump??

[superpatriotman]

7. I have

Many have.

[CountAllVotes]

17. I've been abandoned too

Sadly, the very few relatives I have left are tRUMP MAGATs.

They dumped me not long after the sElection.

Oh well, no big loss.

All they care about is the stock market, their GOD in life.

[lunasun]

80. I don't blame you .. she may have even believed this wasn't real unti it hit home. He told his

faithful it was a hoax just a month ago or less . Now he is on the airwaves everyday with warnings dangerous games they play
One has to wonder about trumper brains and EQ

[StopTheNeoCons]

100. I have

I hope more do as well

[Jamastiene]

12. Trump voting family members

are the ones who abandoned everyone else, for their own little deranged cult of personality gullibility. They made their bed. Let them lie in it and think about how much they adore their precious Republicans. People around me have done the same, KNOWING they were voting against my own rights to be considered a human being. Don't hold your breath expecting me to coddle them now.

[Coventina]

13. I was just going to post this. They abandoned me first.

They are all about personal responsibility.
They don't want to be hypocrites, right?

[dchill]

55. "They abandoned me first."

That's my situation in a nutshell - the nuts being the rest of my family.

[pazzyanne]

76. Happened to me also.

My sister did this to me when I wouldn't jump on board the tRump train. She has been in contact with me the last few months, we don't discuss politics. She has been heard saying "You do know that not everyone completely supports trump, right." For her that is a real step in the right direction.

[Blue_true]

18. Bingo!!!!!! nt

[mountain grammy]

41. Exactly!

[Pepsidog]

45. I finally had enough Of my Trumpanzee brother-in-law who is still worried about Sharia law.

[otchmoson]

46. Call their republican friends

Everyone knows how altruistic Republicons are. Have your sister call her Trump-voting friends. I'm sure they will risk THEIR lives to make sure her shelves are stocked and her life isn't jeopardized by going out in public.

[Afromania]

56. There ya go

folks like that made this non government intervention possible.

[BlancheSplanchnik]

68. Exactly. Trumpites abandon everyone but their own little tribe.

Then whine to us, WHO THEY HAVE DEMONIZED, expecting us to help.

Like addicts, they will think only of their selfish needs. We non-addicts have to remember this fact about them, and protect our boundaries. It’s our own lives we’re protecting when we do that.

[Miguelito Loveless]

151. Oh, they'll turn on each other in a microsecond

when push comes to shove.

[BlancheSplanchnik]

155. Good point. 👈🏽

[dem4decades]

106. Yeah. Americans will die because of their stupidity. F them

[Bettie]

14. They have abandoned decency

seriously, people who still support that creature are the problem. They have a deficit in reasoning and morality.

[Rorey]

31. I've done it

My kids and their spouses are all anti-trump, but I did write off my brother, who did vote for 45. It was actually a big relief to know I'd never again have to deal with him, so I know I did the right thing.

[hamsterjill]

32. Don't start this!

Please don’t start this “Democrats are better than this” shit. It gets us every time.

Democrats are going to have to learn to fight Republicans the way Republicans fight Democrats.

It is for each individual to decide what relationships they maintain, etc. A personal choice.

I have cut ties with several relatives and friends who are hard core Trump supporters and I won’t be looking back. When I can help someone, I will. In fact, I drove a friend who doesn’t have a car to the store last night to get her stocked up. It’s hard to carry much when she’s walking or taking the bus.

There are plenty of people who don’t support Trump that can use help. Just sayin’...

[Bernardo de La Paz]

42. NO! No dirty tricks. No voter suppression. No lying. Just NO! . . . nt

[paleotn]

62. No worries. COVID-19 will do the voter suppression for us.

Kind of ironic, really. Karma I guess.

[stopdiggin]

71. agreed.

I'm not sure if that's what the post meant but ..
I've seen too much of this on DU. "Democrats need to learn to fight like Republicans .." So .. when OUR "dictator for life" comes along .. that's gonna' be just fine with us? Right?
Excuse me ... No! Just No!

[hamsterjill]

90. We aren't going to have a Dictator for life.

We aren’t going to sit by and allow that to happen - unlike the Republicans right now. There’s a difference.

Sorry if my post offended you but in my opinion, we are way past sunshine and lollipops. We are at the point where Dems must learn to stand up and fight for what we believe in or else we will never have democracy.

[hamsterjill]

97. I'm not suggesting we use dirty tricks.

But I am suggesting we hold the line on some things and be assertive on others.

The Dems should have been outraged over Turtle holding up Merrick Garland’s nomination. There was barely a whimper.

Pelosi is holding a line and I like her style. We need more like her.

[lunasun]

83. Thank you for resisting and not normalizing them as if nothing is wrong with their beliefs/actions

or those who they have chosen as dangerous leaders

[hamsterjill]

92. Thank you for the supportive post.

I appreciate that there are others here who “get it”.

[lunasun]

95. Those of us in the way of his racist nationalism, receiving hate in order to MAGA appreciate you!

[SouthernDonkey]

111. Amen Brother!

That shit pisses me off! Republicans have grown to expect that reaction! As soon as we bend our backs to help them lift the load, another one comes up behind and sticks it up our ass. I'm tired of that bullshit! Never again. The Repubs need to be the ones bringing the gifts and the olive branches. Fuck this "come together" bullshit they like to spout.

[Dorian Gray]

121. When you're talking about politicians, fine...

but this is family. Some families are messy and toxic. That may be the case here and the sister's politics reflect that.

But from what the OP described, the sister came to her in an hour of need, and she turned her back on the sister. That's something Trump did to his own brother. Ugh.

[Aquaria]

130. You don't know the history

So you are in no position to judge the decision.

Most of the time, these choices get made after years of enduring abuse from the deplorables. You can't expect people to keep being nice while another party shits all over you, time after time.

At some point, enough is enough and you have to break the cycle.

Because if you let an abusive person back into your life after you've gotten free of them, the abuser will pick up right where s/he left off. They do not change. They never change. Because they cannot change. And don't think for one minute that abusers (especially of the psychopath variety) won't use any kind of excuse to get their claws sunk right back into you again to start using, abusing and manipulating you again as if nothing had changed. They're all emotional vampires who never get enough of sucking you dry.

[Dorian Gray]

148. I understand all that....

she didn't mention a history of abuse. And I mentioned that if there was a history of abuse, then what I had to say was invalid.

[Aquaria]

131. The reason families turn messy and toxic is because too many people treat family like

It's a get out of jail free card--For life, and/or regardless of circumstances.

And that's bullshit.

[Progressive Jones]

156. Thank You nt

[OnDoutside]

143. Let Darwinism take its course....

[Caliman73]

152. Have to disagree.

I think that people have a fundamental disconnect when they say that We need to fight like Republicans fight.

Cutting off a toxic relationship is NOT fighting like Republicans fight. It can be a healthy response to a very unhealthy relationship the diminishes a person's life. As Bernardo said, WE cannot cheat, lie, steal, etc... to win. THAT is how Republicans fight. If we do that just to win, what are we winning? We have to fight hard and we can stop turning the other cheek and we can cut off toxic relationships.

We need to understand what it really means to fight like a Republican before we go out and advocate for that.

[hamsterjill]

153. Your disagreement is duly noted.

But I assure you that I’m not fundamentally disconnected. I’ve used the example of Merrick Garland. The Dems should have been much more assertive on that issue. The Republicans cheat and Dems have got to call them out and fight against it. Why is that so hard to comprehend?


The phrase has been used on DU for years. If it offends you, I don’t understand why.

In any event, stay safe and we agree to disagree.

[Caliman73]

154. Yes it has. It has always been wrong.

It doesn't offend me at all. It is simply incorrect. Language influences thinking therefore we need to use more precise and correct language.

We need to fight, and we need to fight hard. We certainly do need to call Republicans out for all the horrible shit they do constantly. We do not however, have to lose ourselves for the sake of victory. We are compassionate people who want to do the right thing. We do not cheat, and we do not "destroy the village to save the village."

I did not say you are disconnected. I said there is a disconnect. Those are different things and language is extremely important. The disconnect is between the concept of fighting or fighting back, and "fighting like Republicans". Republicans, especially this bunch that is probably further right than the typical Republicans of yesteryear. They do cheat. That is how they fight. We do not fight like Republicans but we do have to fight.


I do not disagree with you at all. I just think that we need to use better language.

You stay safe too. We are on the same team and likely agree on 90%+ of things.

[mountain grammy]

40. Yes.

They abandoned us and all Americans by voting for trump.

[degage]

48. It's not over Trump! It's over their lack of human decency.

I've abandoned friends and family. Not because they voted for Trump per se. But because they've shown no moral or ethical character with respect to the actions and policies of Trump, his cult, and the GOP.

It's not about Trump at all. It's about their lack of ability to do what is right.

[LizBeth]

93. I haven't "abandoned" my family but I do feel this. That my people would support Trump in all the

wrong he is, is counter to the way I was raised. My father, who raised me to be this has been brainwashed and is counter to the very person he has been for most of his life. I have rejected the callousness and stupidity and harm that their ignorance causes this nation.

I do not know how we do not see our people differently when they embrace the racism, hate and vile behavior.

[onetexan]

146. I struggle with an older sibling whose like that as well. Difficult so i dont bring up politics.

Last week she sent me Faux News FB links about coronavirus. The page was full pf RW propaganda. I had it & reminded her firmly she was not to send me anythg from Faux News. Maddening but these ppl are our families.

[Rorey]

103. Exactly! NT

[C Moon]

50. I would call that a lecture, not abandonment. And the way it sounds, she needed to be lectured.

Because her and her husband are most likely still going to vote R in November—even if they have no food. So maybe a good slap in the face by her brother, will wake her up, at least for this one important election.

[SlogginThroughIt]

54. They support caging children.

Amongst a ton of other racist subhuman shit they support. Until they right their ways they are dead to me.

[paleotn]

57. Two of my siblings? You're damn right I did.

No room in my life for racists and fascists. This shit is that serious.

[sarge43]

63. They're ok with locking children in cages.

If they aren't, why are they still supporting that creature Trump and his lackeys?

People like that should be shunned.

[treestar]

65. Abandonment is too

Is too strong a word for what the post said.

[LenaBaby61]

86. You're abandoning your family over Trump??

I have several friends who've dumped TOXIC/RACIST relatives/friends who were and in some instances still in love with tRump.

Yes, they LOVE the way he puts people down, they love his nasty racist ways, and some of my friends relatives LOVE the way he 'owns' the libs, even at their OWN expense.

So yeah, I don't blame any of my friends or others for getting rid of toxic/hateful/racist tRumphumpers out of their lives.

[LizBeth]

94. Right after Trump won I had a nephew put up white supremacist shit on his FB. Damn straight I

rejected him. You have a problem with that?

[MLAA]

104. Trump is one person

The reason we are in this mess isn’t trump, it’s the millions who voted for him.

So I have eliminated all trumpers from my life with the exception of a dad with serious memory issues.

It’s the trump voters, not just trump that need to be held accountable in some way, so addressing their BS like the original poster did gets my full support 🙂

[Aquaria]

128. I hold my family to a higher standard

Than I do strangers. If I wouldn't put up with being called a traitor or with any of the other hateful abuse deplorables deal out when they're a stranger, why would I ever do it from family?

Family is supposed to be better than that.

When they're not, I sever the tie.

Why don't you?

[Walleye]

2. Yes. They should be reminded at every opportunity. But y'know, family

[CaliforniaPeggy]

3. Voting sure does matter!

I hope she learns from what you said.

[Celerity]

11. [phone]

So glad I have zero assholes in my immediate family, and only a handful (on mummy's side) of non nuclear relations who are fuckers (LGBTQ issues) back on the rock (Barbados). Father's side (the Swedes) are 100% solid.

[uponit7771]

4. It's family, call her back .... After 3 hrs 🤫🤫🤫

[Texaswitchy]

15. I did tell to call the food bank.

But that is socialism.

She has grown kids.

[Texaswitchy]

24. My sister called it that.

They will.bring her food if.she calls them


She is much older then.me.

[Celerity]

35. here is a logo for you

[Texaswitchy]

36. So cool.

Thank you.

[Celerity]

37. yw!

[Phoenix61]

26. Why? Just because someone is family doesn't

mean you have to have a relationship with them. Think of all the raging assholes you have known and worked for over the years. Do you think they treat their family any different than they treated you? For many I’d guess, myself included, voting for Twitler was just the final straw. It was the solidification of a world view I find abhorrent. It took all the things I had let slide and overlooked and put them all in one big pile...of shit... and I was done.

[Rorey]

33. Very well said

I just don't see a reason to try to put on an act just to keep the peace with people who have such an ugly core. It's no loss to me that they're out of my lives.

[treestar]

69. People with good families

May not realize what it’s like not to have it. Thus projecting their value of family into others and these reactions follow.

[we can do it]

5. Shoulda asked how's the 401k?

[jrthin]

6. Indeed, voting matters. Could you imagine the difference in response

(especially in terms of timing) had Hillary been President. We wouldn't be in this sh*t storm.

[Jamastiene]

8. I know the feeling.

I hold the idiotic assholes around me responsible for their actions too. Fuck them. They had a choice. They chose a charlatan. They chose a fucking monster who was against me having basic rights for being gay. They chose to hate me for being gay. They chose to be assholes. Fuck them.

[Turin_C3PO]

10. I don't blame you.

The only Trump voter I maintain contact with is my 87 year old Grandpa. I give him a pass because I’m so close to him. But I wish he would see the light and vote Democratic. He’s a very kind and generous man but Fox News has brainwashed him.

[Texaswitchy]

19. I have myself and my.friend look after.

My friend had major surgery and still not 100 per cent.

I owe her.

She helped with my parents when I really needed help

[StevieM]

78. Excellent point, although it is worth noting that it isn't just about Trump.

President Scott Walker would be even worse.

I have been trying to tell people for the last 3 years that Trump is not the primary cause of our problems, he is the symptom. The actual problem is the entire GOP.

[Texaswitchy]

9. She got what she wanted.

I stopped talking to.her.

[Celerity]

16. Play stupid Rump games, win stupid Rump prizes.

[ProfessorGAC]

25. I Take Issue With That Plaque

I don't buy the billionaire part. Too much debt for net worth to be 10 digits.

[Celerity]

29. lol, so true, that shitehawk is nowhere near 1bn (well wasn't, daughter wife and the wax statue

are grifting in 300m + a year by now)

[Rorey]

34. Agree with that

If he was worth what he says he's worth he'd prove it. Braggarts like to brag.

[coeur_de_lion]

20. Can't say I blame you

I would like to do the same but in every other way my family are wonderful people.

They are just fucking stupid.

[Blue_true]

21. I understand your frustration, but she is family.

Let your emotions calm down and give her a call and try to stay calm and help her work through how she solves her concerns. She called you because she needs your advice.

[Texaswitchy]

23. She had grown kids.

I am house bound myself.

My friend needs me more.


She helped me with my parents when I really needed help


My sister did not.

The food bank is there.

She is really racist to.

[Phoenix61]

28. I completely get it.

“Our spiritual family is rarely the family we are born into.”
Illusions: Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah, Richard Bach

[mshasta]

27. at the second you help them, they turn arround and tell you

is all your fault they need more help, I know how it goes ...being there same boat same results

[Chainfire]

30. My sister and her husband

Have bought in 100% to religion and Trump. They both know how I and my wife feel. I avoid her because all she wants to talk about is saving my soul and all her husband wants to do is rave about how great Trump is. I would be willing to keep my feelings to myself, but they will have none of it. Family gatherings became hell for me, so I am done with them. Life is too short to deal with the problems that can be avoided.

It was not me that walked away, they pushed me away as hard as they could.

[Richard58]

60. I have coworkers like that.

They are Trump-humpers and Bible-thumping morons. They still think that Trump is a "great President" despite all the stupid, hateful shit he has done! It's like they live in an alternative reality where Trump is a genius and a savior to America. Anything negative about Trump is "fake news". Facts be damned! And they like to say that "God is in control" so no worries. I avoid them like the plague. It frightens me that at least one-third of the country thinks like them! (Or should I say, "doesn't think"?)

[struggle4progress]

129. Ezekiel 16:49-50

Now the guilt of your sister Sodom was: she and her daughters had pride, excess food, and comfortable ease, but they would not help the poor and needy ... So I removed them

[not_the_one]

38. true "family" are people you CHOOSE to share life with...

NOT people that you are STUCK with.

They continue to be assholes because we give them a pass BECAUSE they are family. Sometimes TOUGH LOVE is needed, as long as they understand WHY they are receiving the tough love.

It could cause some of them to think about it.

If not, FUCK 'EM.

[blueinredohio]

39. If she's a Trump supporter and didn't help take care of your parents

I'd forget her too. Take care of yourself and your friend who helped you in your time of need.

[FailureToCommunicate]

43. Sorry to hear that. Well, maybe DUers can begin to feel a bit like family. Here for you in

bad time AND good. (Obama's Inaugural was a particularly spledid time to be around DU!)

[gilligan]

44. Trump supporting Family members

We only text now. Because of their right wing views.
I asked how the family was doing. Sister replied. Great! God is in control so no worries!

[eleny]

47. tough love adminstered right between the eyes

[G_j]

49. Was she asking for food?

[SleeplessinSoCal]

51. We must be in Hell.

My mother and brother are barely speaking, live in her mobile home together; she a Fox News addict, he a Bernie guy; she 96 and with a lung condition; he scheduled to have open heart surgery and no job. Trapped by Covid-19.

They both make me crazy. So social distancing seems a Godsend. But we have to go help them. But we shouldn't.

Huge conundrum.

[Rabrrrrrr]

52. "A Trump presidency looked pretty fucking hilarious when you thought he'd only hurt brown people,

didn't it? Now you see the truth. He doesn't give a fuck for you or for anyone, except to get your vote and your devotion - but you'll get nothing in return for it. Reap what you sow."

With Trump's immoral and absolutely dangerous handling of this outbreak, I have ceased to have any patience for his fans past or present, or for him. I despised and loathed him before he became president, but then he was only a joke who only harmed the people stupid enough to do business with him.

Then he became president and showed the truth of who he is, and I continued to loathe and hate him, but figured, hey, we're strong as a country, he can't destroy us in one term.

But now that he's putting the whole world at risk because he's a narcissistic shitpile?

I'm done. I'm not pulling punches. He deserves life in prison for putting the world at risk, and he deserves to spend that prison time being constantly punched by toddlers for being so goddamn smug about it.

[eleny]

59. I've always maintanied that he views his supporters as pawns

He doesn't respect them. He just sucks up to them temporarily until he won't need them. I figured that would manifest if he was back in office next January. But their lesson has come early. They'll either be blind to it like the kool aid drinkers or they won't.

"narcissistic shitpile" - perfect.

[lunasun]

87. Yes This -when it was black and brown and gay and trans no Muslims too they thought he was great

All mini trumps thinking they were what was great about murica

[ecstatic]

118. +1000. nt

[samnsara]

53. me too.. they made their decison...

[Demsrule86]

58. Honestly, I think that is harsh. I would never abandon my sister for political reasons.

What if something happens to your sister? Can you live with your decision?

[Moostache]

70. I have not spoken to my sister in over a year...

She adopted all of her racist husbands talking points and Trump-humping to the point that I simply refuse. I have not spoken to her husband in over 3 years.

I am saddened for my nieces and nephews, they are younger and growing up fast and without family, but when my sister snapped at me to stop talking politics with our father IN HIS HOME, AT HIS KITCHEN TABLE because she did not like her kids hearing it, well, she made her choice and as sad as it is, the next conversation she and I are likely to have is at our mother or father's funeral planning.

I have utterly ZERO use for any human being that sees Trump, watches him speak and lie and bloviate like he does and STILL tries to tell me that the shit he is saying does not stink. I always thought he was a carnival clown up until Putin installed him as a puppet in '16, but for sentient, rational or empathetic humans to continue defending him NOW? No thanks, you stand with Trump, you mark yourself as worthless in the human gene pool and polite society forevermore...

[Demsrule86]

75. That is up to you. I have a brother I love dearly and he is a Republican...probably voted for Trump

I don't know because we don't discuss politics period. I will not allow Trump to destroy my family...just my two cents...no judgement intended.

[StevieM]

89. I have cousins who I feel the same way about.

I hate their political beliefs. But I will always love them. And like you, I will not allow Donald Trump or the GOP to destroy my family.

[Demsrule86]

158. I have a cousin...younger than me...little brat! He loves Trump...but I still love that kid and

always will. I hope he comes to his senses.

[LizBeth]

96. I am the only liberal. So ya, brother, father and then nieces and nephews. Actually, one niece for

Bernie and will vote Biden. But the rest, ignorant and Fox watching. I have one white power and I rejected him. Just no. The others, I do not let them even touch on politics or I start aggressively telling them to stop talking or I get off the phone.

I did move states away. That has been healthy. I miss them. But I feel better not being around it all the time. I do not like having to bite my tongue with stupidity, constantly.

And I love them all, so not going to reject them, but that one. He gets better, and i will open my arms, but not going to have that shit anywhere around me.

[Demsrule86]

157. That is how I feel exactly. Trump is not taking my family from me. He has taken enough...we

have all agreed not to discuss politics.

[StevieM]

88. Our own FBI installed Trump. (eom)

[Doodley]

109. Was that really good reason to abandon your nieces and nephews? What did they do to hurt you?

[Skittles]

138. I understand the feeling

but I would still help family.....I'd show them how a LIBERAL behaves

[Aquaria]

133. I refused to speak to my abusive psychopath of a father for 14 years

And my only regret about it was that dirtbag died before the 22 years I was going to make him wait to tell him what I thought of him. Which was that I thought he was a fucking piece of shit that the world would be better off without, and I hoped he died in pain and agony and all alone. And then I would have told him to get the fuck away from me and never make me look at your filth ever again.

He couldn't even give me the chance to do that, the jerk. When my mother "broke" the news to me that the scumbag was dead, my exact response was, "Good. One less SOB in the world. Please tell me his death was painful."

And when she told me that he died in unbearable pain and agony from lung cancer, my black little heart did a happy dance. They wouldn't tell me where he was buried. They knew I had it in me to go dig the fucker up and abuse his corpse. And they were right not to tell me. I hated him enough to do it.

Until you have had to endure an evil psychopath in close quarters, you have no idea how terrifying it is, or how much they use and abuse people, or the pain and agony they will inflict on anyone and everyone around them. You have no idea that sometimes the only way that you can have any safety, security or peace of mind is to cut them out of your life, get as far away from them as you can, and never look back. Which is exactly what I had to do to end his toxic bullshit, once and for all.

And I had to do the same to a brother who was also abusive and deranged and manipulative and violent and all of the other toxic brew horrors of your average psychopath., No, I don't care if something happens to him. I'll live with that decision, quite well, thank you. He earned my contempt and my disregard for what becomes of him, and in ways you don't even want to know about.

[Moostache]

142. I am sorry for your pain, you have my deepest sympathies.

I hope that time and distance allow you an adequate buffer to enjoy other aspects of life.

I know its trite, but last night I saw an amazing rainbow form right after a storm ended...the clouds were still out and the sun only shone through a sliver of the sky, but it created something so beautiful I literally pulled off the road and stopped my car to watch it. It lasted less than a minute but I was reminded in that minute to stop and really see the beauty around us and to appreciate it for its fleeting nature before reality set in and I was back to contemplating this current situation we are living through. My life lately has been too many cloudy skies and far too few cracks in the storm...and I can feel the anguish in your words too.

I truly hope you are able to find the small moments and draw from them what has been stolen from you by evil.

[totodeinhere]

61. In all honesty I think your reaction is ridiculous.

If my sister called me I would take time to talk to her and it wouldn't matter what her voting history was. Are you saying that because of whom your sister voted for you don't care about her sick husband or if she has enough food? Shame on you.

[MineralMan]

64. I'm pretty sure you don't know what the relationship is like in that case.

So, perhaps you don't understand that person's reaction. Think about it.

[totodeinhere]

72. Of course I don't know the details of the relationship.

But I do know this. If I knew of someone who was going hungry, relative or not, and if I had the means to feed them I would and I wouldn't ask first whom they voted for. And if they need a ride to the hospital because they are sick I would take them regardless of whom they voted for.

[Doodley]

110. You are an example to others. I agree with you. I devote much of my time and money to my sick

mother-in-law, who loves Trump. I do it because I am not an asshole, and my wife needs my support. My wife's brother, who is the asshole, is a Trumper. He never takes any responsibility for his own mother. It isn't relevant she loves Trump. She's got dementia and she is at the end of her life and needs my help.

[Turin_C3PO]

66. People

aren’t obligated to put up with bullshit just because it’s family. Some people are toxic, especially people who are fine with putting little kids in cages. No need to associate or put up with that crap.

[ibegurpard]

73. Are you saying that votes are just meaningless expressions of opinion?

Because who we vote for actually determines what sort of public policy is implemented... that actually determines the course of people's lives. As we are seeing now. Your holier than thou attitude and refusal to hold people accountable for the destruction they have wrought with their "it's just politics how could you abandon family???" nonsense is one of the biggest reasons we are where we are.

[totodeinhere]

77. No I am saying that if someone is either sick or hungry I would help them if I could regardless

of whom they voted for. Are you suggesting that people who voted for Trump deserve to go hungry and sick? Just because they voted for a monster doesn't mean that I'm going to turn into one too.

[ibegurpard]

82. They can check their bootstraps

Because that's exactly what they voted to inflict on others. And they will tell you as much when you try to point out the plight of people other than themselves who are in need.

[lunasun]

91. What LGBTQIA or nonwhites would most of these trumpers aid ? Most would find a reason not to

Or be afraid of them or it is their fault . The real extreme ones could add nonchristian as undeserving too.
The sister sounded worried not in dire need.
The poster was right to cut off the call now to lend an ear to the sisters troubles and not a monster just preserving one’s own sanity imo . Who wants to hear it?
Shit they don’t even want people to go to the bathroom and applaud toddlers put in cages and separated from mothers .
The Trump they love calls people rapists,vermin, sons of bitches ,a governor a snake and a big city a disgusting, rat and rodent infested mess.
This virus was a hoax to them until recently and hitting them personally .
No don’t be like them but keeping distance from the crazy is acceptable
I would expect they have thier own trump lovers that can help them if government or food pantries = bad .
There is help if needed that doesn’t have to include the poster

[Catherine Vincent]

67. You should help them

Even if they are Trumpers. Blood is thicker than water. But I wouldn't blame you to remind them how foolish they were to vote for 45.

[Doodley]

112. Well said. We have one planet and we all need to try to just get along.

[Aquaria]

134. The reasons familis are toxic and dysfunctional

Is because of this attitude that family is a get out of jail free card.

It isn't.

If I wouldn't put up with abusive crap out of a total stranger, just why they hell should I put up with it from family? Maybe that's your standard for families should behave, but some of us expect our families to be better than that.

[Texin]

74. I understand your feelings. You should have told her to call their church.

Now, I don't know whether they are or were ever members of any church family. I haven't been in nearly 30 years, but someone there might have been able to steer her in the direction of assistance. I feel very much the same way you do. Honestly, I do, but the feeling of rectitude you have now might soon begin to bother you. Maybe not. But within about five minutes of telling a family member or someone I've been a friend of in the past to basically "drop dead" (you know, like a retrumplican would) would definitely bother me and start to weigh on my conscience.

[Hulk]

79. I feel your pain.

My older siblings, three sisters and a worthless brother, are ALL dRumpf supporters. They still believe sarah palin was a brilliant mind. These are some really sad souls.


I feel bad, because one of my sisters recently had a brain surgery to remove a tumor, had a stroke during the procedure, and is not confined to a wheel chair in a nursing home. Her husband recently died from Alzheimers....a tragic death to watch. I love that sister, as she had the most sweet character up until she fell in with banker friends and began to absorb fox/Putin propaganda 24/7. She has since been impossible to discuss politics with. I feel so bad for her.

I feel your pain. I've just had to write off several off them. They have ALWAYS been shallow and only considered themselves all of their lives. The one with a kind heart, was just to naive to see the truth.

I feel your pain.

[relayerbob]

81. While I understand your frustration

that was wrong and immoral. You have stooped to the level that Trump wants you to be at. Rise above it.

We need to heal this country and it starts with civility. It is maintained with respect and forgiveness - and note forgiving someone does not condone their behavior.

[Doodley]

113. Well said. If we want more love and understanding, we need to show more love and understanding.

[Aquaria]

135. No, it isn't

Family isn't a get out of jail free card for bad behavior.

Maybe you're okay with family acting like jerks toward other family members (and beyond), but some of us expect our families to be better than that.

I wouldn't stand by a family member who molested a child.

I wouldn't stand by a family member who murdered someone.

I won't stand by a family member who thinks it's okay to lock up kids in cages and hurls dishonest invective at me and people like me whenever they open their mouths. I'm no masochist, nor do I find it acceptable to put up with it for nothing other than an accident of birth. That's not good enough. To tolerate such people and their immorality is to condone their behavior and allow them to feel like they can do anything they want in the name of family, no matter how appalling.

Tolerating immorality is immoral, no matter who it is. I don't do immoral.

[relayerbob]

145. Absurd response

There was no evidence that the person was a murderer or a child molester. Instead it was a panicked and fearful family member, who, in their time of need, might have been put onto a better track with a little love and compassion. Forgiveness does not mean condoning behavior, it means trying to find a new way forward, something we're all going to need to learn how to do if the country is ever going to get back together. But, thanks for perpetuating the cycle of anger and hatred, it's so helpful in these trying times

[Aquaria]

159. WTF?

It’s people like you who compound the pain and agony people feel when they have no choice about having to let go of family members who are completely toxic.

Maybe you are lucky enough never to have had to make those choices, but many of us out here haven’t been that lucky.

I’ll go reanimate my scumbag father so you can let him beat the crap out of you as a toddler scared of the rain. Or who took delight in teaching you to say, “Mommy’s ugly.” And then had you say it over and over, or you’d get an ass-whooping for it.

But you go ahead and keep defending filth like that and thereby enabling them to keep doing it because we who are tormented by these sick fucks are the bad ones for not forgiving them.

You disgust me with your cavalier disregard for the damage toxic people do to everyone—especially their families, and your incipient sadism in compounding the suffering by demanding we be masochists to evil.

Forgive them? Fuck you. You go live with them and see how you like it, cupcake.

[MasonDreams]

84. They didn't just abandon us, they're trying like hell to put us in chains.

[Tweedy]

85. Mark Twain said it best

You can fool some of the people some of the time
You can fool all of the people some of the time
But you can't fool all of the people all of the time.

Some of this president's suckers are waking up to the fact that they have been utterly and completely duped.

Have had my share of absurdist circular arguments with this president's dupes (but her e-mails! Benghazi! Everyone knows the whataboutism drill).

Yet, we need to remember this: those folks are dupes. They didn't invent this hateful, destructive nonsense. They got duped by it.

How can anyone, much less myself, wholly disconnected from your personal relationship with your sister know what happened between you? We cannot.

However, I can say you only get so many siblings. If you can, try to open your heart to your sister. She is likely frightened and unsure of herself.

Hard to imagine for most of us here, but think about how guilty those waking up to this president's inherent incompetence, venality and unfitness must be feeling about now.

Maybe this president's suckers don't deserve our compassion. But compassion does not concern itself with retribution. It concerns itself with love and even forgiveness.

Trying to practice what I preach, hard as it is. I lost my brother way too young to abysmal medical care. I would welcome him back with open arms even if he returned a total magat. We wasted too much time squabbling over manure utterly unrelated to our connection to each other.

You still have your sister and she is reaching out to you.

You are absolutely correct: voting matters. Love and forgiveness matter, too.

[MasonDreams]

98. Everyone deserves forgiveness and compassion example: white South Africans

But they gotta stop trying to kill us first. Only then can the healing begin.

In case people go looking for it, that quote is Abraham Lincoln not Twain.

[EndlessWire]

99. You absolutely need to call your sister back.

I also think that people can cut off those that are playing on our Trump nerves. Nothing wrong with that.

But, this is your sister, who is scared and worried. Her husband is sick. She's worried about food. You should set aside the Trumpy anger we all feel, and open your heart to her. Trump will be gone one day, kicked to the curb. Don't let him take away a potentially valuable relationship because of politics.

Maybe you don't like her. Maybe you never loved her. But, don't turn her away. Help her to make a plan. This is for YOU, not her. If something bad happens, you will have pain over it to your dying day.

You would have compassion for a total stranger. Have compassion for your sister. We are all in this together. This is going to be a measure of how we are. Suck up your anger at her and resolve to squelch it until we are out of danger.

If she called you, it indicates that she still wants a relationship. Maybe she only wants money or something, I dunno, but there's something there. Take care of yourself, and one way is to avoid future pain. Talk to your sister, but not about politics. Keep it sort of short, find out what she's thinking, and tell her to call you when she needs to talk. YOU will benefit from it.

I don't have a sister. My family has died. I wouldn't give any of them up come hell or high water. What I did was to create a Trump-free zone for visitors. It's easy to do as long as they know that you will not talk politics. Then, you can enjoy the other parts of them.

[Rorey]

101. We all have different relationships

I really don't think it's fair for someone to tell someone else what they "should" do.

I haven't spoken to my own sister since 2011 after she tried to sue the rest of the family. She was dead to me the day she filed the lawsuit.

[Texaswitchy]

102. She has kids and grandkids.

I called her two useless children and told them to go help their parents.

I told them go to store and get some food for their parents.

I am 66 years old and not going out again.

I am getting stuff delivered.

My friend needs me.

[Rorey]

105. Good for you

Please don't allow anyone to try to lay a guilt trip on you over this.

[Aquaria]

137. Stop.

Let Twitchy decide, because you could very well be asking someone to return to an abusive situation that will only result in further-and worse--abuse. Is that the advice you would give a woman whose ex-husband beat the crap out of her every single day? Or to a child being molested by a family member?

Then why blather this vapid advice to go back to a situation that may be just as abusive?

This is the problem with you pollyanna kumbaya types who got lucky enough to have happy families, and not the dysfunctional and downright violent ones that others of us endured. You have no idea how dangerous it is to tell us to go back and forgive abusers and monsters, because you don't get what will be in store for us when we do go back. And I can assure you that it is never pretty. Not ever.

You're like the people who tell women to go back to a domestic violence situation that is never going to get better.

Is that who you want to be? That person?

[Tweedy]

108. You are right (mostly 😉)

The OP said her sister reached out.

You are right the quotation is not originally Twain's.

It isn't The Great Emancipator either, though, apparently.

https://historynewsnetwork.org/article/161924

Don't know whose original words those are. This link suggests a French origin.

[MLAA]

107. Well said, Texaswitchy. Good for you.

We need to speak up every chance we get against all the individual trump voters we are unfortunate to come across.

[jimlup]

114. I'm sorry for your sister

because most Trump voters are just ignorant. They've been sold a scam and probably still don't fully realize it.

Hope hope hope that they will begin to see. We just keep pointing out the obvious I think.

Good Luck to you!

[Texaswitchy]

115. They have money.

Just order on the phone like me.

[SouthernDonkey]

116. Throw it back to her saviour..

"Ya know sis, Donald Trump has a plan for this and he is working it out, AMEN! I'm sure he'll be contacting all of us in a few days with a solution... Hang in there! Love ya! Bless your heart! Buh bye.. "

[Texaswitchy]

117. I was polite,sort of.

Her kids need to step up.

[EndlessWire]

123. Not really wanting to step in your business further

despite the fact that you invited comments by posting, but:

If you read various threads on DU, you will determine that right now the various delivery services are heavily impacted, with either no service available, or extended delays. This is with no guarantee of availability, even if they took your money.

I ordered an off brand of chicken noodle soup from Amazon which won't show up until after April 9th. That's if it shows up at all. I can go two days without food, but on the third day, I can drive safely, but I will almost faint with any amount of walking around in a store. So, a delivery service is integral to my care plan, too, but I now have to plan for complete loss of this service. Guess what? I am buying chickens.

I am so sorry that you have this problem. I hope you can lay your burden down soon. I would give my eye teeth to have a sister. I really would. What state are you in? Maybe I can have yours.

[Aquaria]

141. Try calling your local grocer

Nearly all of them will arrange for someone to shop for you and bring it to your car if you drive over. Or they might even deliver it for you.

Even before there were online "curbside" and delivery services, many stores, even the megachains like HEB, Kroger or Safeway, would do this for elderly, disabled or seriously ill people. It was part of being a good neighbor to them. But you had to ask for the service. They wouldn't know to do it if you didn't ask.

It's worth a try to contact a local market to see if they'll do the same for you.

[msdogi]

119. I understand completely

Especially if she has been vocal about her support of the monster and critical of you. Some people deserve to be reminded that actions have consequences.

[Dorian Gray]

120. She's your sister.....

I have trump voting family members. I wouldn't hang up on them or dismiss their concerns.

Love your sister. Disagree with her, but love her now. You don't have to approve or like the vote, but I bet right now she's scared and she's trying to talk to you.

[Aquaria]

139. Good grief

Listen to yourself.

My mom and I got to hear something just like that, oh, so many times, way back in the 60s after my father had beaten the crap out of one of us (or both), and my mother had called the cops or turned to "friends" for help. Here's how it usually went:

"What did you do to make him mad? You shouldn't run off and ignore him. Love him. Disagree with him, but love him. You don't have to approve of what he does, but I bet right now he's really really sorry for what he did and he wants to talk to you so he can make it up to you."

Sound familiar?

And the worst of it was, was that even at three years old, I knew all of that was so much fucking bullshit. Because he wasn't sorry, and he wasn't going to make it up to us and he was never going to change. When you went back, he was going to do the same damned thing, over and over again, only with more venom and more fury and more sadistic delight in how he had scores of pompous enablers willing to bully and blackmail you on his behalf to be his punching bags--people who consider themselves oh-so-much-more-moral and oh-so-much-more-compassionate than you, but without one fucking concern for the price you would pay for following their clueless and dangerous "advice."

Toxic people are toxic people, and no decent person would ever send someone back to a situation that will not get better.

Stop expecting people to kowtow to them. Stop thinking that people are merely misguided. The kind of people that are okay with someone separating families and putting children in cages, enough to vote for them and laud them at every chance they get, are not misguided.

They are monsters.

[Dorian Gray]

149. If she had said her sister

had been abusive to her, I wouldn't not have said anything. She only said her sister reached out bc she was in trouble and that she had voted for Trump.

Your history sucks. People who told you to stay were wrong. Not only were they wrong, they put your lives in DANGER.

If the original poster had mentioned abuse (and there could have been abuse or a toxic relationship, and in that case, leaving the relationship is the RIGHT choice) I would have said something different.

Good grief, indeed.

[SlimJimmy]

122. My brother voted for Trump.

I told him I thought that was a big mistake. But I still love him and he is still my brother. I swear, I don't understand why some people abandon their family over fucking politics. We'll survive Trump, just like we've survived every other repuke president. Some here also said the sky was falling when Bush Jr was in office. We're all still here. So chill the fuck out already. We've got way bigger problems right now.

[SammyWinstonJack]

124. Quite a lot of us WON'T survive tRump's latest ego trip. But nice try.

[DonaldsRump]

126. What???

"No other president could have done much better."????

Where exactly have you been for the last two months??? More importantly, where are the "millions of tests", "such beautiful tests" that this idiot promised? It took two months to even get these in the system, far behind most major countries.

Are you aware of how Trump "closed the border"??? Please check your facts and look at exactly what he did with China, then South Korea and Italy, and then the EU/UK/Ireland. What kind of closed border is this and what testing was done when this border was "closed"?

With respect, you need to check your facts.

[irisblue]

127. "No other president could have done much better".... Dude🤦‍♀️

You really think/believe that?

[ibegurpard]

136. "Fucking politics"

Has resulted in children separated from their families and locked in containment centers on our southern border. Anyone who minimizes the current support of their friends and family for Republicans is coming from a seriously privileged place that isn't affected by the horrific policies Republicans are openly pushing. You are coddling people who are putting people into positions of power that hurt others.

[Aquaria]

140. It's not about politics

That's what you refuse to get.

Politics is merely a placeholder for a whole lot of other psychopathologies and dysfunctions that are going on.

[Brainfodder]

132. Loving this thread, my .02:

My dad is 80+/RW and I know this because of emails and Mom told me, they are divorced.

We had a heated call, but this is it in a nutshell:

"We still love each other, but on this we just disagree."

Good Luck!

[Texaswitchy]

144. My friend had heart surgery.

Getting stronger.

She saved my life.

Both my.parents were sick at the same time.

My friend came to.the rescue.

I have to stay healthy now to help her.

My sister is a jerk.

She has grown kids and grandkids.


She is not alone.


I am lucky to have good neighbors.

My sister was always thrashing President Obama.

Well to bad he isn't President now or Hillary Clinton.

[nolabear]

147. Well is there some way I can help them?

Because I won’t let that monster turn me into one.

[DFW]

150. Luckily, I have no such family members.

If you have a cassette player, I strongly suggest you get a copy of "The Brahmin and the Tiger." Play it for yourself, and then for your family members. Besides that it is a BRILLIANT tale, narrated by Ben Kingsley with background music by Ravi Shankar, it might just get a lesson across. Maybe. Maybe not. But you can try.

Synopsis:

A brahmin passes a tiger in a trap. The tiger pleads for his release, promising not to eat the brahmin. The brahmin sets him free but no sooner is the tiger out of the cage then he says he is going to eat the brahmin, going back on his promise. The brahmin is horrified and tells the tiger how unjust he is. They agree to ask the first three things they encounter to judge between them. The first thing they encounter is a tree, who, having suffered at the hands of humans, answers that the tiger should eat the brahmin. Next a buffalo, exploited and mistreated by humans, agrees it is only just that the brahmin should be eaten. Finally they meet a jackal who, sympathetic to the brahmin's plight, at first feigns incomprehension of what has happened and asks to see the trap. Once there he claims he still doesn't understand. The tiger gets back in the trap to demonstrate and the jackal quickly shuts him in, suggesting to the Brahmin that they leave matters there.

Only you can know to what extent you wish to be the Brahmin, or to what extent your sister is the tiger..............

[Freyda99]

160. Your post resonated with me

I hope it is not too late to respond to your post. I cut off communication with my one sister after trying to have a relationship with her for four years. She was always mean-spirited as a child and bullied me. I left this part of the country and was gone for 30 years, having only sporadic communication with her. I always knew she was conservative, whereas I am pretty liberal. But when I returned to this part of the country, I discovered that she and her family were ardent Trump supporters.

It was hard enough for me that they had a picture of him hanging over the kitchen table when I visited, but soon she began expressing to me very ugly perceptions of and feelings about people of color, immigrants at the border, and Muslims. They had Fox news and Hannity on a lot of the time and she did not read newspapers. In conversations with her I learned that she knew very little about current events in the USA or globally. I learned that she believed Latino immigrants and Muslims hate the USA and that racism really does not exist. On top of that, she was just as devoid of the ability to listen to or consider the feelings of others as she had ever been growing up.

I finally gave up, because being around her was really upsetting. I had to stop for my mental health. It did not really matter much, because she only called me or wanted to see me when she needed money or a ride somewhere. The hardest thing for me was figuring out that I did not really like her. I don’t regret my decision because it was really necessary for my mental health. But I feel it was an unfortunate decision to have to make.

[mercuryblues]

161. I hear you

My sis and me do not talk any more and I barely talk to one of my brothers. My sis stopped talking to me long before trump though. She figured it was a way to punish me for her perceived slights. In the past I always caved and let her back into my life, but the last time I held firm. She simply went to far with her bullying and jealousy. Which is something a lot of trump supporters have in common.

I can get along with my brother as long as he doesn't bring up trump. Which he loves to do, so I limit my contact with him. Needless to say that brother and sister get along great. He lives with my sister. At least they have each other to lament on how they are discriminated against, while sitting in a million dollar home, driving their Lexus' and Lincolns. Which BTW my sis was mad at me for not being jealous over her "status" in life. Don't get me wrong, I was happy for her when she bought her house, I simply wasn't jealous. Which is why I mentioned above about perceived slights.

Go in peace.

[Freyda99]

162. Appreciate your response

I just wanted to say thank you for your response. It really helps to know I am not alone in this.