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Coventina

(27,064 posts)
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 07:38 PM Mar 2020

My Father in law just died.

Just got the call from my husband.

I'm in shock, and so, so saddened.

Some here might remember that I posted a few threads this past December about how he didn't get a flu shot due to being an anti-vaxxer, and then he got the flu and almost died?

Well, the flu virus attacked his heart (which is why he almost died in the hospital in December) and he'd been struggling ever since.
His heart just did not recover, and he went into congestive heart failure.

And, he died about an hour ago.

Please, please get your flu shots, people. He was 70 years old, but he was the only surviving child of his 97 year old mother.
I can't imagine being the one who now has to tell her.

In grief,

Coventina

113 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
My Father in law just died. (Original Post) Coventina Mar 2020 OP
Deepest condolences. DonaldsRump Mar 2020 #1
Thank you. n/t Coventina Mar 2020 #2
Sorry for your loss Uben Mar 2020 #3
Thank you. n/t Coventina Mar 2020 #5
So sorry for your loss redstateblues Mar 2020 #4
Thank you. n/t Coventina Mar 2020 #6
So sorry for your loss Maeve Mar 2020 #7
Condolences. So sorry. So sorry she must be told. And thank you for the warning. emmaverybo Mar 2020 #8
.. Demovictory9 Mar 2020 #9
I'm very sorry for your loss... hlthe2b Mar 2020 #10
I am so sorry iamateacher Mar 2020 #11
So very sorry for your loss. revmclaren Mar 2020 #12
If this story will help convince them...please share. Coventina Mar 2020 #17
I already have to some family revmclaren Mar 2020 #29
so sorry barbtries Mar 2020 #13
I am so sorry UpInArms Mar 2020 #14
So sorry for your loss mcar Mar 2020 #15
so very sorry, Coventina diva77 Mar 2020 #16
I am so sorry for your family. sdfernando Mar 2020 #18
I'm sorry for your loss vercetti2021 Mar 2020 #19
I'm so sorry renate Mar 2020 #20
Awww, sincere condolences to everyone. :-( nt babylonsister Mar 2020 #21
So very sorry frazzled Mar 2020 #22
.. Demonaut Mar 2020 #23
Condolences on the loss of your father in law. gademocrat7 Mar 2020 #24
I'm so sorry for your loss. MelissaB Mar 2020 #25
Condolences. A HERETIC I AM Mar 2020 #26
I'm so sorry for your loss. onecaliberal Mar 2020 #27
I'm sorry, Coventina, especially for his mother. It's all wrong. Hortensis Mar 2020 #28
Heart felt Condolences Bluethroughu Mar 2020 #30
I am so so sorry irisblue Mar 2020 #31
I'm very sorry to hear that. The Velveteen Ocelot Mar 2020 #32
I recall when you post that. My sincere condolences. CentralMass Mar 2020 #33
Condolences, Coventina n/t sarge43 Mar 2020 #34
I remember your post, I'm so sorry that it turned out so badly. Wishing all of you comfort. JudyM Mar 2020 #35
Hugs to you and all in the family lunatica Mar 2020 #36
So sad for you and your family. Peace to you all. Fla Dem Mar 2020 #37
May he rest in peace, Coventina. Cherish the good memories. KY_EnviroGuy Mar 2020 #38
How very sad QED Mar 2020 #39
I'm sorry for your loss, Coventina. LuckyCharms Mar 2020 #40
So sorry, best wishes... BadGimp Mar 2020 #41
So sorry, Coventina. littlemissmartypants Mar 2020 #42
Sincere condolences to you and your husband and family..n/t monmouth4 Mar 2020 #43
I am so sorry mgardener Mar 2020 #44
✨✨🙏✨✨ OhNo-Really Mar 2020 #45
Joining the others in ChazII Mar 2020 #46
So sorry MissB Mar 2020 #47
How tragic... I'm so sorry to hear the sad news. NurseJackie Mar 2020 #48
Sorry to hear this. Jim__ Mar 2020 #49
So sorry for your loss. snacker Mar 2020 #50
I'm so sorry for your family's loss. greatauntoftriplets Mar 2020 #51
I've never gotten a flu shot HarlanPepper Mar 2020 #52
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss Upthevibe Mar 2020 #98
Oh no, I am so sorry to hear the tragic news. FM123 Mar 2020 #53
So sorry for your family. Lonestarblue Mar 2020 #54
I am so sorry. Dem2theMax Mar 2020 #55
Very sorry to hear of the loss and it will really be hard on his Mom. Take care of you too. Evolve Dammit Mar 2020 #56
Deepest sympathy malaise Mar 2020 #57
I am so sorry to read this CountAllVotes Mar 2020 #58
So sorry for your loss. Vivienne235729 Mar 2020 #59
So sorry. volstork Mar 2020 #60
Deepest sympathy. sinkingfeeling Mar 2020 #61
I'm so sorry to read that... MineralMan Mar 2020 #62
Very sorry for you and your husband's loss Kaleva Mar 2020 #63
I'm so sorry Dem2 Mar 2020 #64
I'm so so sorry. EllieBC Mar 2020 #65
So sorry for your loss Coventina. smirkymonkey Mar 2020 #66
So sorry for your loss. denvine Mar 2020 #67
Sending love 💕 to you and your family MLAA Mar 2020 #68
With deepest sympathy cpmx2006 Mar 2020 #69
So Sorry! tavernier Mar 2020 #70
My condolences to you and your family...especially to his mom KSNY Mar 2020 #71
I am so sorry Loryn Mar 2020 #72
... mokawanis Mar 2020 #73
I remember your telling us about him and your mil eleny Mar 2020 #74
.... LovingA2andMI Mar 2020 #75
My heart goes out to you and your family. nt iluvtennis Mar 2020 #76
I'm so sorry. CottonBear Mar 2020 #77
Im so so sorry leighbythesea2 Mar 2020 #78
So sorry for your loss CT ... that really sucks ... mr_lebowski Mar 2020 #79
Sorry for your loss. SlimJimmy Mar 2020 #80
I'm so sorry, Coventina Ohiogal Mar 2020 #81
Once again, I am so overwhelmed by the kindness of DUers. Coventina Mar 2020 #82
... cry baby Mar 2020 #83
So sorry DownriverDem Mar 2020 #84
Devastating BayAreaAtLast Mar 2020 #85
Myocardial infarction after MI is relatively common McCamy Taylor Mar 2020 #86
How can you bear such sad news on top of everything? May you find some FailureToCommunicate Mar 2020 #87
So sorry to hear about your father-in-law passing. FuzzyRabbit Mar 2020 #88
This breaks my heart PlanetBev Mar 2020 #89
I am sorry for you and your family. murielm99 Mar 2020 #90
So sorry for your loss. 58Sunliner Mar 2020 #91
My condolences for your loss. herding cats Mar 2020 #92
I'm so sorry for your loss. The_jackalope Mar 2020 #93
I'm so sorry to hear this ailsagirl Mar 2020 #94
Thank you for letting us know. I'm so sorry. calimary Mar 2020 #95
Sorry for your loss. GoneOffShore Mar 2020 #96
So Sorry for your loss... CountMyVote4Reality Mar 2020 #97
Sorry for your loss , Coventina. octoberlib Mar 2020 #99
Deepest sympathy. Scarsdale Mar 2020 #100
So sorry for your loss, Coventina... Raster Mar 2020 #101
Condolences ProfessorGAC Mar 2020 #102
So sorry for your loss! SnowCritter Mar 2020 #103
Sorry for your loss Pugee Mar 2020 #104
I'm very sorry for your family's loss. A very sad conclusion to fighting the seasonal flu. liberalla Mar 2020 #105
I'm sorry for your loss. gldstwmn Mar 2020 #106
I am so sorry for your loss. sheshe2 Mar 2020 #107
I'm so sorry. MontanaMama Mar 2020 #108
🙏🏾 Sincere condolences, Coventina. 😪 BlancheSplanchnik Mar 2020 #109
Coventina, so sorry for this wrenching time in the life of your family. Judi Lynn Mar 2020 #110
Sorry for your loss. qanda Mar 2020 #111
I'm very sorry Danmel Mar 2020 #112
You have my deepest sympathies... GetRidOfThem Mar 2020 #113

Maeve

(42,271 posts)
7. So sorry for your loss
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 07:43 PM
Mar 2020

Damn...wish I could find decent words to express the empathy I feel for the hole this can leave in your life, but the words that spring quickest to mind are those of traditional comfort and sorrow.

revmclaren

(2,500 posts)
12. So very sorry for your loss.
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 07:50 PM
Mar 2020

Sending positive energy in your time of sorrow.

I truly do not understand antivaxers, having a couple in my own family.





diva77

(7,629 posts)
16. so very sorry, Coventina
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 07:55 PM
Mar 2020

what a heartbreaking story (sorry, no pun intended)

sending a hug from a safe social distance

frazzled

(18,402 posts)
22. So very sorry
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 07:58 PM
Mar 2020

For you and your family. As if their aren’t enough issues to deal with right now. May his memory be a blessing to you and yours.

A HERETIC I AM

(24,362 posts)
26. Condolences.
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 08:04 PM
Mar 2020

To borrow and paraphrase the letter to Mrs. Bixby by Abraham Lincoln, I hope you find a way that may assuage the anguish of your bereavement, and leave you only the cherished memory of the loved and lost.

May he have a gentle voyage, with eternal following winds and calm seas.

mgardener

(1,812 posts)
44. I am so sorry
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 08:34 PM
Mar 2020

It is scary.
I have a list of all the shots for that my husband and I got. I had to drag him to most of them because he doesn't get sick. He is 76 and I worry...
It is hard to get older
My sympathies for his mom.
Will say a prayer for both of them.

greatauntoftriplets

(175,729 posts)
51. I'm so sorry for your family's loss.
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 08:43 PM
Mar 2020

Yes, I recall those threads about his stubbornness. How sad that what you feared has come true.

 

HarlanPepper

(2,042 posts)
52. I've never gotten a flu shot
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 08:44 PM
Mar 2020

I’ve had the flu maybe three times in 45 years. But guess who will be first in line the next time they’re offered? I’ve never been anti vaccine. We went to Africa a few years ago and got a variety of vaccinations. But I will be taking the flu more seriously moving forward. I’m sorry for your loss.

FM123

(10,053 posts)
53. Oh no, I am so sorry to hear the tragic news.
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 08:45 PM
Mar 2020

Sending you and your family extra love at this very sad time.

Lonestarblue

(9,958 posts)
54. So sorry for your family.
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 08:46 PM
Mar 2020

And thank you for the warning about the flu. Medical science has come a long way, and I’m sorry for people who would rather believe superstition than science for something that has proven to be beneficial.

Dem2theMax

(9,641 posts)
55. I am so sorry.
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 08:48 PM
Mar 2020

Extending my sympathies to you and your entire family. Cannot imagine how a 97 year old mother can deal with the loss of her son.

CountAllVotes

(20,867 posts)
58. I am so sorry to read this
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 08:51 PM
Mar 2020

Please let your husband know that he has many condolences from your friends here at the DU.

I know what a horrible shock it is when someone close dies like that.

Take care, both of you!



Dem2

(8,166 posts)
64. I'm so sorry
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 09:00 PM
Mar 2020

I just lost my dad a month ago from heart failure. Haven't even had time to grieve due to the emergency :/

tavernier

(12,369 posts)
70. So Sorry!
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 09:23 PM
Mar 2020

My doctor died of the flu because he was too busy to get the shot. The only doc in Florida to die of the flu. He was a pretty awesome doc but should have worried more about himself.







eleny

(46,166 posts)
74. I remember your telling us about him and your mil
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 09:55 PM
Mar 2020

Did I get that right. Your mil survived?

My condolences go out to you all.

leighbythesea2

(1,200 posts)
78. Im so so sorry
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 10:23 PM
Mar 2020

For your loss. My condolences.
We had a death in my family tuesday. A shock.
I don't know how to show the emojis here that hug each other. Sending that one, to you.

Coventina

(27,064 posts)
82. Once again, I am so overwhelmed by the kindness of DUers.
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 10:35 PM
Mar 2020

When my mother died in 2003, I was blown away by the kindness everyone expressed then, and I am humbled and moved to tears yet again.

You guys are the absolute best!



I have to sign off for tonight, but I will be back, I hope, sometime tomorrow, as familial duties permit.

McCamy Taylor

(19,240 posts)
86. Myocardial infarction after MI is relatively common
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 10:59 PM
Mar 2020

in those who already have some underlying coronary artery disease. Flu is a tremendous strain on the heart. I had two relatives both in their 60s experience their first MI's when they had Flu B a few years ago. One died on the cathe table, the other survived.

FailureToCommunicate

(14,007 posts)
87. How can you bear such sad news on top of everything? May you find some
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 11:04 PM
Mar 2020

strength in the coming day for you and your husband and family.

So sorry to hear of his passing, Coventina

PlanetBev

(4,104 posts)
89. This breaks my heart
Sat Mar 21, 2020, 11:46 PM
Mar 2020

I’ll be 70 in November. You just can’t risk your life on specious theories pushed by the likes of the anti-vaxxer crowd.

Coventina, my condolences to your entire family. 💐

The_jackalope

(1,660 posts)
93. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Sun Mar 22, 2020, 12:45 AM
Mar 2020

It hits especially hard for me. I'm 69 and have heart failure as well.

Flu shots save lives.

Hugs from Canada, Coventina.

calimary

(81,127 posts)
95. Thank you for letting us know. I'm so sorry.
Sun Mar 22, 2020, 03:15 AM
Mar 2020

Thank you for urging the flu shots. Even in your own private sorrow you still think of others.

People like you are the reason I still believe we'll somehow get through this.



97. So Sorry for your loss...
Sun Mar 22, 2020, 04:04 AM
Mar 2020

I am so sorry for your loss. And thank you for sharing the circumstances so some here may avoid a similar loss.

Scarsdale

(9,426 posts)
100. Deepest sympathy.
Sun Mar 22, 2020, 05:26 AM
Mar 2020

No matter what age a person, is losing a child is one of the most difficult life experiences to go through. Having lost one, I can not imagine going through that again. Deepest sympathy to the family. Stay strong for your husband's sake.

Pugee

(346 posts)
104. Sorry for your loss
Sun Mar 22, 2020, 10:26 AM
Mar 2020

I know what you mean! My dad got the flu and was hospitalized. A few months later he had a massive heart attack and died a few days later. The doctors said the flu weakened his heart and system so much he just could not bounce back. He was 55

MontanaMama

(23,296 posts)
108. I'm so sorry.
Sun Mar 22, 2020, 12:44 PM
Mar 2020

Good lord these are hard days. My father in law died on March 11th. No funeral. The churches are closed and the funeral homes won’t allow gatherings of 10 or more. I am holding you and your family in my heart.

Judi Lynn

(160,451 posts)
110. Coventina, so sorry for this wrenching time in the life of your family.
Sun Mar 22, 2020, 01:29 PM
Mar 2020

Your words should most surely move people to be more determined to encourage everyone they know to never fail to ask for their flu shot each year as soon as they become available.

DU'ers will be thinking of you and your family as you work through this time during a very difficult time in the world.

Hoping you will all stay safe through this period and look after your own health throughout.

Your many friends here will be thinking about you, and hoping for the best for you and your family.

May he rest in peace. 🕯️


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