Trump Urges Loosening CDC Restrictions To Let Coronavirus Get To Work

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

WASHINGTON—Calling for an end to precautions such as social distancing and shelter-in-place mandates, President Donald Trump urged the loosening of CDC restrictions Tuesday to let Covid-19 get to work. “The economy is hurting—we must send the coronavirus back into our office buildings, schools, and factories,” said Trump, explaining that the nation cannot risk the possibility of the number of new cases and deaths crashing. “We need those numbers up! This is America, and work is important here. Without work, the virus has no purpose. Right now, there are millions of virus particles just sitting around and doing nothing. The coronavirus wants to work, so we’re going to put it back to work as soon as possible.” At press time, the Dow had skyrocketed as the coronavirus returned in full strength back into the American workforce.

https://politics.theonion.com/trump-urges-loosening-cdc-restrictions-to-let-coronavir-1842473921?utm_source=TheOnion_Daily_RSS&utm_medium=email

[sakabatou]

1. He's trying to get more people ill

[Rorey]

2. He's that bad that it's actually believable that he said that

I mean, I actually did believe it for a second. He's that awful.

[Throck]

3. I'm surprised Trump isn't handing out blankets with smallpox.