So my house is on fire.

[kpete]

I got out in time (sort of), but it is really cold outside. The fire dept. hasn't shown up yet---and the house is still very much on fire---but I'd like to get back to what I was doing before the fire started. I'm going back in. Wish me luck!

Link to tweet

?s=20

[BeckyDem]

1. lol +1

[defacto7]

2. That's what it is!

[CaliforniaPeggy]

3. This is a superb metaphor! It did take me a moment, though.

[malaise]

5. LOL

You too?

[CaliforniaPeggy]

6. Yup--me too.

[malaise]

8. First I said huh

then I got it

[CaliforniaPeggy]

9. Same for me, lol!

I'm not used to using metaphors here on DU.

[soldierant]

15. I think it rises to the level of analogy.

Almost allegory - definitely allegory of the speaker is considered a personification of the nation. And, as you say, superb. Brilliant.

[dchill]

17. Me too. I started out thinking...

You IDIOT! But then I felt The Force of satire.

[lame54]

4. Make sure you share it with your neighbor

[CaliforniaPeggy]

7. Absolutely! Sharing is caring, right???

[Progressive Jones]

10. K & R

[spudspud]

11. Brilliant. nt

[gibraltar72]

12. I saw what you did there.

[meadowlander]

13. More like

"My kitchen's on fire so I moved out into the hall. I have my phone in hand to call the fire department when I really need to. I really, really want those sweet blueberry muffins. I'm sure the fire will just put itself out before they're done. Maybe grandma can go get them for me. She's close to death anyway."

[dchill]

18. +++!

[magicarpet]

21. Pour some gasoline on grand ma, that will light the way,...

... so she can locate the stove. Don't bother with the pot holder or oven mitt,... grandma won't need those. Is her life insurance policy up to date and the premium paid off ?

Just think,... we won't even need to cremate GrandMa,.. that will be a huge, really big, strong,.. bigly savings.

[Hermit-The-Prog]

20. Excellent! Just needs a magic April in there somewhere, while waiting for Grandma.

[leighbythesea2]

22. Yeah someone in thread

Said
just some of your furniture will burn up.
And he replied, just the old furniture which was becoming a fiscal burden anyway.

The replies were all clever.

[calimary]

14. LOve it! That fire smells like satire...

[griloco]

16. No need for the fire dept cuz

like a miracle, it'll stop burning

[magicarpet]

19. What is he doing in the house why did he go back in ?

IT IS ON FIRE ! ....

What,.. he is doing - what ! ... ????

IRONING SHEETS AND PILLOW CASES ?

Did he call the fire department yet ?

Get him the hell outta there !!!

Jeez,.. I don't know about that guy.

Somebody see if you can find at least a garden hose.

That guy is an idiot,... who does he think he is,.... trDump,... he's got his priorities all fuxked up.

[dchill]

23. K&R.

[FailureToCommunicate]

24. Was he arranging Easter baskets?

[LudwigPastorius]

25. The cure is worse than the problem!

All that water from the fire hoses will surely damage my furniture.

Best to just let it burn.

[DFW]

26. Getting interrupted while in the sauna is always annoying...... n/t