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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsThe Passwords He Carried
I need to do this for myself. You never know.The Passwords He Carried
I had to get my fathers affairs in order. You do too.
Clara Jeffery
March 27, 2020
snip//
Historian Clint Smith has written eloquently about the need to interview elders, before its too late. Please do that. Record Zoom conversations where you ask them about family lore. And schedule and record the conversations with the grandkids, too. Be your own StoryCorps.
But Im here to talk about the practical stuff. And this is what you need to think about.
Even if theyre safely sheltering in place, you should know the names and contact numbers of any doctors they currently see. What conditions do they have? What kinds of medications do they take, how often at what dosage, and which doctor prescribes and which pharmacy fills them? What is their Social Security number? Their VA number? Their date of birth? Where are their drivers license and passport?
Ideally, they have a living will, which helps ease probate backlog and costs and also is a process that makes you think through a lot of end-of-life issues. But most people dont. Do they at least have an ordinary will and an advance medical directive? If so, where are they? Particularly with the directive, get a copy; keep a copy in your phone. If the answer to either is no, you can help them use various online tools to do the basics. Here are the state-by-state requirements; heres a general guide. A video recording of them reading their will cant hurt, especially in the few states that still require wills be notarized. Do they have a medical power of attorneywhich basically empowers family members to make decisions when they cant? Many services offer ways to do that; heres one. In addition to their spouse or partner, should children or other family members be added to make those decisions? (Yes.) Keep that in your phone, too.
What are their wishes regarding burial and cremation or anything of that nature, recognizing that funeral rites might be delayed indefinitely? Who are their best friends and others to keep apprised or notified after death? How do you contact them?
Which bank do they use? Which mortgage company? What bills are on autopay? What bills are paid by mail? Where is the checkbook? Is there more than one? What kind of life or long-term care or any other kind of insurance do they have? Is there a safety deposit box? Where? Is the deed to the house in it? What about the car title? What else is in it? Where are the keys?
You need account numbers and passwords for everything. EVERYTHING. Bank accounts and all the stuff I just listed. But also things you might not think about, like places where precious family photos might be: Facebook, iPhoto, any other services they use (and grandparents tend to use a lot). If you have very online parents, what are the passwords to things like Twitter? Youll want to decide whether or not to delete accounts after youve scraped for photos, and you wont have that choice without passwords.
more...
https://www.motherjones.com/coronavirus-updates/2020/03/end-of-life-planning-coronavirus-parents/
BigmanPigman
(51,569 posts)I had to do all of this for myself and it took longer than you'd think it would take.
drray23
(7,619 posts)You can set it up to allow another person to log into it if you die. The company , once they know you died (if you dont log for a certain amount of time, they will try to contact you. If they fail, they assume you are dead and will contact that person and they will be granted access.
csziggy
(34,131 posts)Part of the paperwork the program has is a checklist that includes all that information that executors and caretakers need - even more than is listed in that article.
While my affairs have gotten more complicated, I might still use that portion to update that part periodically. It's very handy to organize it all in one place.
Heck, If I died today, my husband would not even know the passwords for the various streaming services!
Sherman A1
(38,958 posts)called "Before It's Too Late" you can find it from Amazon or directly from the publisher.
It's a work book that we should all have filled out and let the person who will need the information know where it is.
babylonsister
(171,036 posts)Sherman A1
(38,958 posts)One needs to be prepared for the worst in these coming days.
a kennedy
(29,618 posts)Sherman A1
(38,958 posts)stuff after you are gone, that much easier.
babylonsister
(171,036 posts)https://www.amazon.com/Before-Its-Too-Late-Unprepared/dp/096570162X/ref=sr_1_6?dchild=1&keywords=before+it%27s+too+late&qid=1585581468&sr=8-6
Before It's Too Late - Don't Leave Your Loved Ones Unprepared Spiral-bound March 21, 2008
by Emily Oishi (Author), Sue Thompson (Author)
4.3 out of 5 stars 34 ratings
Spiral-bound
from $885.00
2 Used from $885.00 1 New from $889.00
Sherman A1
(38,958 posts)I think I paid about $25.00 for my copy.
malaise
(268,724 posts)Organize all documents and passwords
Get thee to the greatest page
Drum
(9,100 posts)I + my Sisters were confronted with all of this years ago when my father passed away. This piece contains sage advice thats Id recommend all to keep in mind. Ask questions, prepare a few clues....
central scrutinizer
(11,637 posts)Three years ago, I realized how important this information was. I wrote up a document titled, upon my death with all account numbers, phone numbers, passwords, location of the fireproof box with my will, burial plot info., etc. that my daughter and sole heir will need. Every time I update it, I email her a new copy. She is very thankful. Do your family a huge favor and do something like this.
2naSalit
(86,345 posts)today about our info, which we have updated. The thing is that our 90+ mom is not well, is in a nursing facility, doesn't know where she is... This sister is executor of the estate, but what if something happens to her? so we were talking about who, of her kids and a nephew, who would take over for her regarding our mom's fate if she should live long enough to survive this.
What a mess.
Control-Z
(15,682 posts)Thank you for posting, babylonsister!
Stay well!