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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsThe DUzy Awards for the week of January 6, 2012 - Part 1
Last edited Fri Jan 13, 2012, 11:59 PM - Edit history (2)
[center][big][big][big]WELCOME to the NEW and IMPROVED DUZY AWARDS[/big][/big][/big]
Your weekly collection of LOL, WTF, *facepalm*, FAIL, ROFLMAO, and OMG that shows that DUers spent their alcohol dollar on quantity, not quality, over the New Years holiday!
This weeks improvement: easier-to-read format using nested excerpt boxes!
Note to the readers: do to a busy week, a LOT of nominations, and the discovery of Canyon Defender 2 on the internet, this weeks awards will be a two-parter.
Note to mods: Your powers are still useless against me! Bwaa-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Note to Admins: Hey, since my real account has a star, cant this one have one too?
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFE4E1]LINK TO PART TWO HERE: http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002135511
[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by The DUzy Awards
[big] The DUzy Awards for December 23rd, 2011[/big]
[font color=#FF0000]Insert the DUzy awards from last week. This things long enough without me re-posting everyting![/font]
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] The DUzy Awards [/font]
[big]39. So, now I don't have enough posts to post an OP.[/big]
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] The DUzy Awards [/font]
[big]40. Interesting, this new-on-DU3 feature.[/big]
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] The DUzy Awards [/font]
[big]41. It wasn't turned on yesterday, when I was compling the Awards... [/big]
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] The DUzy Awards [/font]
[big]42. ...and testing to make sure the formatting was right. [/big]
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] The DUzy Awards [/font]
[big]43. So now I get to find out the hard way what the new minimum is [/big]
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] The DUzy Awards [/font]
[big]45. This is #11. 10 isn't enough. [/big]
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] The DUzy Awards [/font]
[big]46. 12. [/big]
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] The DUzy Awards [/font]
[big]50. Yeah, that worked... [/big]
[font color=#FF0000] Im humbled at winning 8 DUzy awards! However, since Im at present sitting on no less than 4 crates of DUzy statuettes, Im going to donate these eight to Doctors Without Borders, who Im sure will appreciate the LULZ as they fight ebola with only expired aspirin and duct tape.[/font]
GD, Dec. 30, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/100264864
[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by The DUzy Awards
[big]The DUzy Awards for December 30th, 2011[/big]
[font color=#FF0000]Insert last weeks DUzies here. Use your imagination![/font]
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Skinner [/font]
[big]8. I got a DUzy![/big]
Awesome.
ON EDIT: (clears throat) I mean, uh, congrats to all the winners.
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF] [font color=#800080] EarlG [/font]
[big]25. ... [/big]
[font color=#FF0000]Elad, were still for you to show some effort![/font]
GD, Dec. 30, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/100292356
[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Warren DeMontague
[big] "Iwanna" see the tombstone brought back.[/big]
Seriously. "posting privileges revoked" just isn't quite as satisfying.
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] neverforget [/font]
[big] 16. It should be called the Graveyard and we should be able[/big]
to browse the fallen.
H&M-D, Dec. 30, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/124018384
[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by eppur_se_muova
[big] Apple's Jonathan Ive gets knighthood in honours list (BBC)[/big]
Jonathan Ive, Apple's head of design, has been awarded a knighthood in the New Year Honours list.
Mr Ive, who can now style himself Sir Jonathan, has been made a Knight Commander of the British Empire (KBE).
Raised in Chingford, Mr Ive began working for Apple in 1992 and since then has been the brains behind many of its products.
He described the honour as "absolutely thrilling" and said he was "both humbled and sincerely grateful".
Mr Ive added: "I am keenly aware that I benefit from a wonderful tradition in the UK of designing and making.
***
more: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-16367022
Some interesting info in the article re his relationship with Jobs ... not news if you read the recent Isaacson biography of Jobs, I guess.
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] MilesColtrane [/font]
[big] 1. I look forward to the next release of iMail. [/big]
GD, Dec. 31, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/100293092
[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by babylonsister
[big] Obama Pokes Fun at Romney's Birther Son[/big]
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/12/30/1050026/-Obama-Pokes-Fun-at-Romneys-Birther-Son
Fri Dec 30, 2011 at 11:23 AM PST
Obama Pokes Fun at Romney's Birther Son
by Mets102Follow
They say a picture is worth a thousand words. I wonder what these two are worth.
First, a Facebook post I just saw from the President's campaign:
And, below the fold, a close-up of the mug, which has a copy of President Obama's birth certificate plastered on one side of it and "Made in the USA" under the President's picture on the other side, completely mocking the birthers.
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Xipe Totec [/font]
[big] 7. I can guess what the headline will be on the New York Pest: White House releases Obama's mug shot. n [/big]
GD, Dec. 30, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/100290776
[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Ruby the Liberal
[big] How does one go about choosing and pledging a clique?[/big]
I keep reading about how cliques are circling the wagons around their own by somehow circumventing the integrity of the jury system, are responsible for most 'bad' verdicts, and can come in handy in letting you know to log out because someone you may have on ignore said something that you may want to read.
I feel like I am missing out over here in lone wolf territory.
Is there a directory somewhere?
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] uppityperson [/font]
[big]6. I've a very exclusive clique.[/big]
it is a clique of one, no one else can join, everyone else has been excluded but me. bwahahahahahahah
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] pipi_k [/font]
[big] pipi_k
16. Oh yeah?[/big]
Well my clique is so exclusive even I can't be in it.
So there!
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] gkhouston [/font]
[big] 17. And you don't have to bother putting on deodorant. [/big]
Which kind of helps enforce the "clique of one" rule.
H&M-D, Dec. 31, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/124019385
[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by blueamy66
[big]So, a jury "hid" one of my threads, so I cannot respond anymore[/big]
But others can still respond to my other posts in that same thread?
Is that fair?
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF]Codeine
[big] 19. It's not about "fair", it's about promoting civil discussion. [/big]
If you can't keep it friendly then you'll be asked to leave the table while the rest of the guests continue their meal.
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] gkhouston [/font]
[big] 27. Interesting analogy, considering the thread being referred to was about breastfeeding! n/t [/big]
H&M-D, Dec. 31, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/124019209
[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by onehandle
[big] Lady Gaga kisses Mayor Bloomberg to bring in 2012 New Year in Times Square[/big]
A possible record crowd of revelers welcomed the New Year in Times Square, bidding farewell to troubled 2011 on a night when the weather and the vibe were pleasantly warm. Turning up the heat on the spring-like evening was hometown hero Lady Gaga, who pranced through renditions of her "Marry the Night" and "Born This Way" in a skin-tight black suit - and planted a big smooch right on Mayor Bloomberg's lips as the ball came down.
"This is my hometown, and my dream!" she declared after emerging in a bizarre octopus-like outfit that initially showed only her face - with a black mask around her eyes.
The former Stefani Germanotta's appearance capped a daylong street celebration, with Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly predicting it might be the biggest turnout ever in the tradition that dates to 1904.
Gaga, later sporting a giant white mask and Versace outfit, wrapped up the night by joining Bloomberg in setting the Times Square ball on its descent at 11:59 p.m. A one-ton cascade of confetti fell on Times Square as Gaga gave way to the sounds of Frank Sinatra's "New York, New York."
http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/mayor-bloomberg-kisses-lady-gaga-bring-2012-year-article-1.999425
[font color=#FF0000]Pics in the OP, if youre so inclined[/font]
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Sanity Claws [/font]
[big] 1. Kissing Bloomberg? [/big]
Yuk!
I'm surprised that didn't make her Lady GagGag.
GD, Jan 1, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/100299353
[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by jefferson_dem
[big]Ron Paul Flips Out Over Accusation That He Believed 9/11 Conspiracy Theories (VIDEO)[/big]
Ron Paul Flips Out Over Accusation That He Believed 9/11 Conspiracy Theories
Republican presidential candidate Ron Paul, who is expected to do very well in the Iowa caucus this week, aggressively fended off accusations on Sunday that he has engaged in 9/11 conspiracy theories and wrote a series of racist and homophobic newsletters published under his name in the 1980s and 1990s.
While Rep. Paul (R-Texas) is no stranger to conspiracy theories, he erupted when asked by ABC's Jake Tapper about rumors that he once believed the 9/11 attacks were an inside job.
"Now, wait, wait, wait, wait," he told Tapper on "This Week." "Don't go any further on that. That's complete nonsense."
Former Paul aide Eric Dondero, who worked closely with him from 1987 to 2003, recently wrote that Paul "engaged in conspiracy theories including perhaps the attacks were coordinated with the CIA, and that the Bush administration might have known about the attacks ahead of time." Dondero said that Paul believed George W. Bush planned to use the attacks as a justification for invading Iraq, which Paul vehemently opposed, and that he expressed "no sympathies whatsoever" for the 9/11 victims.
Paul did tell Iowa voters earlier this month that "there was glee" in the Bush administration after the 9/11 attacks because it gave them a pretext to invade Iraq, and he has come under fire for his radically "non-interventionist" views on foreign policy that are out of step with the Republican mainstream. But he vehemently denies having engaged in a 9/11 conspiracy theory and would not engage in a conversation about Dondero's accusations on Sunday.
<SNIP>
VIDEO at LINK: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/01/ron-paul-911-conspiracy-theories_n_1178492.html?1325437766&ncid=edlinkusaolp00000008
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF] coalition_unwilling
[big] 3. Um, since the official narrative of 9-11 is also a 'conspiracy theory' of sorts (in this [/big]
case, a conspiracy of 19 middle-eastern men, their handlers and paymaster), you might want to edit your OP's headline to " . . . 9/11 Alternative Narratives."
Or is it only a 'conspiracy theory' when it's not part of the official record of what happened?
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] jberryhill [/font]
[big] 4. Did you know we use the word "bathroom" for "toilet"? [/big]
Did you ever think about that?
Why do people say "I want to go to the bathroom?" They aren't going to take a bath, and they don't care if there is even a bath tub in the room.
Why don't people say "I want to go to the toilet" instead of bathroom.
Not only that, sometimes people say things like "I went to the bathroom in my pants". Now, think about that for a minute. That makes no sense. First off all, there is no bathroom in anyone's pants, so you can't go there. Secondly, people only say that when they DIDN'T go to a bathroom at all!
So, if someone says they have gone to the bathroom in their pants, I really have no idea what it is they mean by that.
GD, Jan 1, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/100299262
[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Douglas Carpenter
[big] What to do about alerters and juries blatantly abusing the system to impose unacceptable censorship?[/big]
Here are two examples in the past 24 hours:
One DU member posted a thread offering reasons why they thought some people are taken in by Ron Paul. This poster made it absoluely clear that they are not supporting libertarianism or encouraging people to vote for Ron Paul - they were simply offering what they felt to be explanations as to why. Yet someone alerted on this post and then a jury voted to hide it.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=98853
Another DU member posted an OP that recommended that Iowa caucus participants vote for noncommitted delegates as a protest against President Obama's policies. They did not in anyway whatsoever encourage voting against the Democratic nominee in the general election or even recommend a primary challenge - which would be allowed if they had.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/100285347
It is an absolute disgrace that people would so abuse the alerter and jury system for the sake of crass censorship - even censorship of opinion that is not only well within the range of what has always been acceptable on DU and specifically and directly stated as acceptable in the TOS - but censorship of opinion the debating of which is one of the primary reasons why DU even exist. If one takes away inner-party debating - one takes away a fundamental reason for DU to even be. What are we so supposed to talk about about here on DU? How wonderful everything is and how bright the future will be?
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Make7 [/font]
[big] 12. I think everyone should begin every post they make with... [/big]
... a short explanation that what will follow should not be hidden by a jury. Just a list of a few reasons...
I submit that the post following this defense should be allowed to remain visible because of the following three reasons:
- It is clearly not advocating for whatever the alerter believes it is advocating for.
- I am obviously a long time Democratic Party member and supporter; not a right-wing troll.
- Umm... ah.... can't think of the third one.
Oops!
H&M-D, Jan 1, 2011
http://www.democraticunderground.com/124019673
[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Ruby the Liberal
[big] BAC down 58% for 2011[/big]
http://www.google.com/finance?q=bac
(Edit - click on 1yr in the graph)
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] rocktivity [/font]
[big] 1. Congrats, Ruby [/big]
on doing so much less drinking!
[font color=#FF0000]BAC is the stock market shorthand for Bank of America[/font]
Economy, Jan 1, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/11162113
[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Original post by [font color=#800080] SomethingFishy [/font]
[big] Glen Greenwald, Matt Tiabbi, Ralph Nader[/big]
What a bunch of assholes. I mean I just can't get enough of hearing about what assholes these guys are. I mean in the asshole universe these assholes are the size of sinkholes. Ever seen an asshole the size of a sinkhole? It's not pretty. These guys are so bad that we should spend the next two weeks talking about what assholes they are. What's the point of having assholes if you can't talk about assholes? I know there is nothing I like better than to be discussing the same 3 assholes for days on end. Really. It's not like there is anything important happening. Just more assholes. Everywhere I look I see assholes. Assholes to the left of me, assholes to the right of me. I'm surrounded by assholes! IMHO we should continue the attacks on the assholes, because those assholes are very important, and if you don't nip those assholes in the bud then... well... then.... then life would go on anyway. And then what the fuck would we do? Life isn't worth living unless I'm talking about some assholes. Hey you know if tomorrow those three come out in support of Obama then we have plenty more assholes waiting in the wings. There's the Jon Stewart asshole, The Keith Olbermann asshole, the Tom Hartmann asshole, The Stephen Colbert asshole, shit we got so many assholes waiting in the wings we will never be without an asshole, and that... is good for America.
GD, Jan 1, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002101638
[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In a locked original post by Donald Ian Rankin
[big] What fraction of DUers made the transition from DU2 to DU3?[/big]
Does anyone have any statistics about e.g. average number of people posting per week before and after the move, or average number of posts per week?
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] Fire Walk With Me [/font]
[big] 1. Is DU3 like teh rapture?[/big]
GD, Jan 1, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002102066
[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]Original post by [font color=#800080] Are_grits_groceries [/font]
[big] YO' GOVERNOR IS SO DUMB...[/big]
Yo' Governor is so dumb...
..the TV weatherman said, "it's chilly outside", and he ran out the door with a bowl.
Yo' Governor is so dumb...
..he tried to put a bag of M&Ms in alphabetical order.
Yo' Governor is so dumb...
..he went into a Walgreen's, looked around, and said, "hey...these walls ain't green!".
Yo' Governor is so dumb...
..he once stared at a can of frozen orange juice for hours because it said "concentrate".
Juanita Jean recs new blog: http://www.kellybeehtx.com/
Yep! Mine is that dumb.
GD, Jan 2, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002102968
[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by Ichingcarpenter
[big] Newt on climate change/pandemics: I'm an amateur paleontologist ... therefor no climate change[/big]
when asked to explain his position on global warming, he delivered a new line.
Im an amateur paleontologist, Gingrich said. I spend a lot of time looking at the Earths temperature for a very long time. Im a lot harder to convince than just looking at a computer model.
a woman asked if America is prepared for a pandemic.
I honestly dont know, and it would depend on what kind of pandemic it was, Gingrich said.
Read more: http://www.politico.com/news/stories/1211/70981.html#ixzz1iJD9B9SN
WTF?.......
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] HillWilliam [/font]
[big] 13. No, Newt, being a fossil [/big]
doesn't make you a paleontologist any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
GD, Jan 2, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/1002103382
[div class=excerpt style=background:#AFEEEE]In an original post by William769
[big]What are the chances of getting a Forum specifically for Glenn Greenwald?[/big]
My eyes are going cross trying to find something other that Glenn Greenwald in the General discussion Forum.
[div class=excerpt style=background:#FFFFFF][font color=#800080] petronius [/font]
[big] 5. I know, right!? Just trying to have a quiet conversation about Ron Paul, [/big]
and it's Greenwald this and Greenwald that...
H&M-D, Jan 2, 2012
http://www.democraticunderground.com/124019900
Much thanks to: Fire Walk With Me, Kaleko, REP, CaliforniaPeggy, Hatchling, LiberalAndProud, dixiegrrrrl, coalition_unwilling, Make7, Ruby the Liberal, gateley, eridani, Viva_La_Revolution, and JTFrog,
Stay tuned for more DUzies tomorrow!
Submitted with a snoring cat on the bed behind me,,
-Krispos42
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)made it under the wire.
thanks.
krispos42
(49,445 posts)"looks like a two-parter".
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)hootinholler
(26,449 posts)seabeyond
(110,159 posts)it was cute.
REP
(21,691 posts)CaliforniaPeggy
(149,181 posts)JUST in the nick of time!
And wonderful as always!
joshcryer
(62,265 posts)My favorite was the BAC one because I hadn't seen it.
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)one_voice
(20,043 posts)K&R
seabeyond
(110,159 posts)in my pants.
that was funny
krispos42
(49,445 posts)Easier to read?
hootinholler
(26,449 posts)Easier to follow for me at least.
If you have an OP DUzy, maybe a white box inside an empty blue box would be more consistent? That way Duzys are always the same background.
krispos42
(49,445 posts)I'll experiment tomorrow and see how it looks
Fire Walk With Me
(38,893 posts)(Seriously, I like it).
Thanks!
EarlG
(21,826 posts)krispos42
(49,445 posts)I guess you can work from the bar?
Ruby the Liberal
(26,212 posts)<< The ultimate straight guy.
gateley
(62,683 posts)Lone_Star_Dem
(28,158 posts)I'm glad to see these back and I really enjoy the new layout.
Spazito
(49,523 posts)Layout looks great, imo.
Thanks again for doing the work to produce this!
dixiegrrrrl
(60,010 posts)Thank you for making Friday night such a nice way to end the week!
...... ....... .......
scarletwoman
(31,893 posts)But, jberryhill's "bathroom" post alone was most certainly worth the wait!
Thank you, krispos!
eridani
(51,907 posts)krispos42
(49,445 posts)eridani
(51,907 posts)zeemike
(18,998 posts)Perhaps he was just dreaming of bieng petted and you thought it was a snore...And I am not too sure there is a diference except volintary or not.
krispos42
(49,445 posts)I have witnesses to her habit.
aquart
(69,014 posts)Liberal In Texas
(13,425 posts)ooooh...wow....and fuck a duck...
geezeeee....
petronius
(26,576 posts)(Submitted with a cat snurring on my arm...)
rocktivity
(44,546 posts)And now for something completely different: Be on the lookout for the Ninth Annual Rocktivity/LBN "You Call This NEWS?" Awards next week!
rocktivity
malaise
(267,461 posts)I love DUzys
surrealAmerican
(11,332 posts)Thanks for the laughs.
badgerpup
(4,837 posts):kick:
JTFrog
(14,274 posts)gkhouston
(21,642 posts)aquart
(69,014 posts)I'm so happy the DUzies are back!